October 6, 2009

Letterman's new, improved apology.

He gets off some pretty good jokes in the process of doing what circumstances have forced him to do:
"There's a possibility that I'll be the first talk show host impeached," he continued. "It's fall here in New York City, and I spent the whole weekend raking my hate mail. It's cold, too—chilly outside, chilly inside my house."

Letterman then mock-started making cracks about Bill Clinton, South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford and Eliot Spitzer (apparently they all have something in common), stopping himself every time.

"This is only phase one of the scandal," he reminded the audience. "Phase two, next week I go on Oprah and sob."...

"Also," he added, "what can it hurt? Once again I'd like to apologize to the former governor of Alaska. Sarah Palin, I'm terribly, terribly sorry.
Video at the link.

58 comments:

Hoosier Daddy said...

Still wondering why he bothered to marry the broad he was shacking up with for 20 years.

Lem said...

Mr Letterman I knew Bill Clinton .. Bill Clinton was a friend of mine..
Mr Letterman you are no Bill Clinton.

bearbee said...

Oprah and rehabilitation...

Kensington said...

CBS promos for last night's episode were promising a "Sarah Palin Top-10 List!!!1!"

Given that Letterman's intentions re Palin are patently malicious (he's committed to using his show to destroy her politically), I've zero sympathy for whatever his plight is.

He deserves every bit of discomfort and humiliation he's experiencing, and more.

TRO said...

It's long past time for Dave to retire. He ceased being funny a long time ago and now he won't be able to do half his jokes anymore.

Leno is better still.

MadisonMan said...

I liked his line that he would have rather spent the weekend on the Appalachian Trail.

There are people who hate Letterman no matter what he does. I doubt he was trying to reach them last night. I thought his words -- what I saw of them on the web today, I could never stay up that late to watch! -- were as pitch perfect as you can get. Imagine if Mark Sanford, or John Edwards, or Larry Craig had actually been honest in their apologies. Or said something that could be construed as honest, as Letterman did. They would be far better off.

A good comic can wring laughs out of human discomfort. Even though it may be helped along by the flashing Applause sign.

Bissage said...

Looks like Mr. Letterman hired some of Ted Kennedy’s joke writers.

Robin said...

The jokes may be funny, but their very existence highlights his insincerity.

Obviously, this stuff was all written by other people with the dual intentions of distraction from Letterman's behavior and anticipation of criticism, in the hopes of disarming it.

It's all so calculated.

Paul Chiari said...

Letterman is just another angry, hyprocrital leftist who is now reaping what he has sowed. I would have been immediately terminated from employment for sexual harrassment had I engaged in this type of behavior. Where are the feminists? They seem awfully quiet, and I am sure they would not be if the perpetrator had been a conservative talk radio host. Bad behavior is bad behavior, regardless of political leanings.

MadisonMan said...

I would have been immediately terminated from employment for sexual harrassment had I engaged in this type of behavior.

This is just a guess. I could be completely wrong.

You don't bring in the millions and millions of dollars to your employer that Letterman does to his employer.

wv: choose. Suddenly I'm getting actual words

Pogo said...

If Susan Atkins had had better writers, she would have been released, surely.

Better comedy writers would have helped Mao and Stalin, too.
Sure, we had 7 million starve to death last year, but now we have some very plump vultures to eat!
Thank you; I'll be here for life.
Remember to tip your waitress.

Rialby said...

Here's my take - one time transgression, he gets away with it. Nobody gives a fig.

More and more will come out about what's he been doing for the last 30 years and none of it will be pretty. It won't destroy his career because the Left will protect him but he may lose viewers.

Hoosier Daddy said...

You don't bring in the millions and millions of dollars to your employer that Letterman does to his employer.

Which just goes to show that if you make the big Benjamins, the rules don't apply to you.

Double so if you're a rich lefty. Not only do you get away with it, you get kudos, applause and probably an award.

MadisonMan said...

Hoosier, yes, that's the way things work. Doesn't make it legal, but it shouldn't surprise anyone.

Now, if he is a serial harasser, then things will become uncomfortable for CBS. That will be the curious thing to watch for in the next couple months.

And I'll say that I would not want to be a woman working for Worldwide Pants, because the guilt by association is going to be everywhere, and that's the pernicious part about Sexual Harassment in the workplace.

Pogo said...

If only he had been doing this with drugged 13 year old girls.

There'd be an Emmy for sure.

AllenS said...

If I want comic relief, I'll turn to garage mahal.

EDH said...

Guess who: David Letterman, Sarah Palin or Andrew Sullivan?

I have had sex out of love and it's an amazing, wonderful, transformative thing. At its height, it is the most overwhelming thing I have ever experienced. I have also had sex in my life largely as a way to escape this fucking brain in my head, that won't stop constantly analyzing and thinking. I have had sex for these reasons as well - so I can gain a few blissful moments when I do not think at all. The relief of this is indescribable and, for me at least, an element of mental and psychological health.

I recall one marathon twelve-hour session of passion many years ago now. It was only afterwards that I realized I had barely had a single trace of an analytic thought for the longest period I could then remember. I was never happier. As I finally collapsed into my lover's arms with the final orgasm that drained every last drop of desire or need from my body and soul, I understood for the first time why the French call coming "le petit mort". It can be the emptying of self entirely. Which is why sex is so close at times to the presence of the divine, and reflects and incarnates God in ways few other things can so easily. We are more animal and more divine in sex than in any other activity.

The ordeal of consciousness is at times oppressive. To leave that consciousness and yet stay so vividly alive is one of sex's great wonders. Love is deeper than that; friendship is deeper still. But I know nothing that God has given us - save psilocybin - that gives us this divine, if fleeting, parole from a vale of tears.

Michael Hasenstab said...

I don't know which is worse - his lameness of the insincere apology made to his wife.

Either way, the guy is a jerk.

And soon will be a jerk with way fewer assets.

garage mahal said...

I have also had sex in my life largely as a way to escape this fucking brain in my head, that won't stop constantly analyzing and thinking.

Definitely not Palin.

Pogo said...

"The ordeal of consciousness is at times oppressive."

Definitely Sullivan.
He's had trouble with consciousness for several years now, if one goes by his writing.

MadisonMan said...

Memo to Sullivan: TMI!

No one wants to read about your sex life.

Bissage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Robin said...

Poor Andrew. The massive size of his amazing intellect requires him to have lots of meaningless sex.

madawaskan said...

Drudge is reporting that he had a secret bedroom above The Ed Sullivan Theater.

No way! That's like Walt Disney's apartment in the Magic Castle.

[so he could schtoop Snow White!]

madawaskan said...

Spell check tells me I'm spelling -schtoop- correctly!?

Good ta go!

shoutingthomas said...

What an asshole!

I never watch him. Why bother?

Seems the liberal line on sex and harassment has boiled down to this:

Liberals don't claim to have any ethics. Thus, ethics aren't demanded of liberals. Conservatives claim to have ethics. Therefore, they are the worst type of scum... hypocrites.

Oligonicella said...

garage mahal --

"Definitely not Palin."

Correct. Not only would she not curse for public record, but she enjoys her thinking, which Sullivan apparently doesn't.

Meade said...

EDH,
Trick question, right?

The correct answer is - Penelope Trunk.

Darcy said...

I noticed that right off too, Michael H. How classy of him to make his wife part of his faux embarrassed jokes. He doesn't care.
What a pig.

madawaskan said...

EDH-

Again Sully is confused when he heard-

"le petit mort" he didn't realize they were talking about his...

Hoosier Daddy said...

There is an art to being a smartass and Letterman is a failure.

For example, I was playing Rock Band with Hoosier Daughter over the weekend and she is quite talented at the guitar it must be said. Needless to say I had to demonstrate my prowess on the drums and after a blistering set of Don't Fear the Reaper on medium difficulty I scored a respectable 95%. When I looked at Hoosier Daughter expectantly for praise all she had to say was. "You need more cowbell."

That's being a smartass.

William said...

Letterman makes eighteen million a year for telling clever jokes in a charming, self-deprecatory way. He's very good at it, and it is not surprising that he should make a graceful apology. For just that reason, his apology should be judged not as an apology but as a performance. As a performance, it was successful; as a demonstration of character, it was a successful imitation of a demonstration of character......Letterman is funnier than Conan and less funny than Leno. That is what comedians are paid for: their jokes. Anyone who thinks the ability to tell funny jokes is indicative of character or political wisdom is crazy. It's not even a chance correlation; it's a negative correlation.....Life is not a morality play. That's not the part that hurts. The hard part is that the wicked write the plays, win the awards, and host the show. Letterman will get monster ratings. This will not be viewed as his failing but as a travail that he has overcome.

William said...

The love affair that Andrew Sullivan is having with his penis is less than sublime and beyond parody.

Jason (the commenter) said...

Is he making fun of our obsession with apologies?

garage mahal said...

Not only would she not curse for public record, but she enjoys her thinking,.

Such as it is. If it would fool Todd, that's good enough for the rest of us!

Slow Joe said...

I guess it's a smart move to keep pushing jokes about this issue in order to get lots of ratings.

I was surprised madison man claimed this was a sincere apology, though. It was self serving in the extreme, impersonal, and just plain fake. Mark Sanford's pathetic explanation that he was actually in love came across as the opposite: self damaging, honest, and real.

A good apology is not going to please random third parties.

Letterman is not funny... he's a safe harbor for those pathetic few who cannot stand to hear jokes about Obama and insist on repeated jokes against republicans. It's for weak, weak people with no sense of humor. A waste of time. Letterman is a slimeball, but we knew that years ago.

Once again, the next president makes all the right people furious. Letterman still has failed to explain why he's so damn angry with Sarah Palin and her kids.

Slow Joe said...

'making fun of our obsession with apologies'

It's easy to pretend there is nothing sacred and nothing serious in the world. Especially when you use your power over young lady's careers to get into their pants.

Sarah Palin asked for an apology from a man who jokes about raping her 14 year old daughter. That's not unreasonable. Or obsession. That was a perfectly normal and mild mannered thing to do. Letterman's obsession with Palin is not normal, not that I care. He has dramatically increased the likelihood that Palin will be president.

Nothing worse than trying to bully someone who wins the fight.

Ken Begg said...

I have also had sex in my life largely as a way to escape this fucking brain in my head, that won't stop constantly analyzing and thinking.

Definitely not Palin.

_____________________

Yes, because Andrew Sullivan is smarter than Sarah Palin. Right.

Kev said...

(the other kev)

The only apology that counts is learning from your mistakes. I don't see that here.

I'm with other folks wondering if there's another shoe waiting to drop. What we've heard about so far doesn't seem to be worth 2 million.

David said...

Sullivan, shorter version (pun intended): "Say hello to my leetle friend . . . . "

Freeman Hunt said...

Wow! The scandal made him funnier!

Chilly? Yow. I bet.

chickenlittle said...

LOL'n @ Meade's 10:51

Freeman Hunt said...

Maybe Sullivan wrote all of his Palin material while having sex. If sex allows him to escape his brain, that would explain a lot.

Freeman Hunt said...

If he were standing on a #cowmat while doing that, he would have had the necessary traction to stand steadily and type.

chickenlittle said...

If he were standing on a #cowmat while doing that, he would have had the necessary traction to stand steadily and type.

Sullivan would have turned his #cowmat into a big giant slip 'n' slide.

rhhardin said...

Those were good jokes.

``Did your weekend just fly by?''

They're angry woman jokes, guy stuff. Shared experiences alluded to.

Pogo said...

Does Letterman have any good Roman Polanski jokes?



Does Roman Polanski have any good Letterman jokes?

Jeremy said...

Hoosier - "Still wondering why he bothered to marry the broad he was shacking up with for 20 years."

I see those knuckles are still dragging.

Who the hell still uses terms like "broad" and "shacking up?"

Come out of the corn field, Hoosier...life is passing you by.

Jeremy said...

Slow (and I do mean s-l-o-w) Joe - "
Sarah Palin asked for an apology from a man who jokes about raping her 14 year old daughter."

Except he wasn't referring to the 14 years old.

Maybe if you were to actually read something before posting the standard drivel?

Jeremy said...

Hoosier Daddy said..."There is an art to being a smartass and Letterman is a failure."

Yeah, the guy is REALLY struggling to find a niche.

If only he could find a job as, oh, maybe a smart ass talk show host...that pays...millions.

Duh.

Pogo said...

Ha!
3 posts to skip.
Thanks, J-man.

montana urban legend said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
chickenlittle said...

Good call MUL! That comment sucked.

montana urban legend said...

But apparently your willingness to imitate Beavis and Butthead's take on the Letterman-obsessed doesn't!

Gabriel Hanna said...

@jeremey
Except he wasn't referring to the 14 years old.
.

Bristol wasn't at the game, Willow was.

Letterman DID refer to her, though he didn't intend to.

Nice try, jackass. Read something before you post the usual drivel.

MadisonMan said...

I was surprised madison man claimed this was a sincere apology, though

Where did I say that?

knox said...

A good comic can wring laughs out of human discomfort. Even though it may be helped along by the flashing Applause sign.

I really could care less about Letterman's affairs or whatever. But that first confession, delivered in the same snarky, dissembling manner he delivers EVERY joke, disgusted me.

kentuckyliz said...

Has Letterman promised to keep his Worldwide Pants zipped?