June 27, 2009

When you go in to give testimony to the police about a murder, when is it a good idea to wear a live baby squirrel in your cleavage?

"At one point she bent over and the squirrel popped out. The woman was not fazed and gently pushed the squirrel back inside her shirt."



When should you testify with a squirrel in your cleavage?
When you're telling the truth, and you want to be believed.
When you're lying, and you don't want to be believed.
When you're telling the truth, and you don't want to be believed.
When you're lying, and you want to be believed.
pollcode.com free polls


IN THE COMMENTS: Former law student notes the etymology of "testimony." It's from testicles. So you might re-think where to put the baby squirrel. But for us ladies, we know where to put the squirrel, and we don't want to testify anymore. From now on, let's give cleavagery.

24 comments:

traditionalguy said...

This breast blog may have finally jumped the shark. Don't squirrels have sharp teeth? This lady needs to stick to tatooing herself for fun.

John Althouse Cohen said...

How many blogs do you think have a cleavage tag, distinct from the breast tag? But this post can't be the only cleavage post!

rhhardin said...

I carried a baby bird to work and home in a shirt pocket for a couple weeks.

Hourly feedings were like Tom Sawyer whitewashing the fence. Everybody wanted a turn.

Also have carried a baby rabbit around in a shirt pocket; the rabbits are less grateful than the birds for the effort.

No testimony was involved though.

Ann Althouse said...

John, it's a new tag. I went back and added it to old posts. Try it again.

The oldest one was from Sunday, August 28, 2005: "Cleavage, erotic as it is, does not occur in nature."

mariner said...

Well, testimony implies a courtroom and judge and all that.

Still, I vote "None of the above", as in "Never".

somefeller said...

Actually, this sort of exercise was a part of the trial by ordeal in pre-Norman Anglo-Saxon England. If the squirrel bit the woman, she was guilty. If the squirrel gently nuzzled the woman, she was innocent. I'm surprised a law professor wouldn't know that bit of legal history from the mother country.

Lem said...

This lady might be onto something.

She carrys a live squirrel instead of a dead rabbit's foot.

Ann Althouse said...

@mariner Testimony is a broader term than that.

LarsPorsena said...

It's easy if you're female. Men don't have cleavage so they get a ferret in the pants.

Ralph L said...

I once rescued a baby bunny from the jaws of a cat. The ungrateful wretch pissed all over my shirt.

The squirrel was probably a witness to its father being run over. That's why she brought it to the station.

AllenS said...

Beware of women who have pets that eat nuts.

Saul said...

keep that chick away from your attic

Rob said...

That's definitely not Natasha. What happened to the squirrels pal the moose?

Jennifer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jennifer said...

Squirrels are assholes.

New poll option: When you want to look like less of an asshole than the evil little demon poking his head out from between your breasts.

Ralph L said...

On cop shows, it's called giving a statement, which intentionally? sounds less intimidating than testimony.

At our local Historic Commission, you have to be sworn in if you want to comment at their public meeting, which I believe is intentional intimidation.

rastajenk said...

I wanted to vote for Ron Paul

Bruce Hayden said...

How many blogs do you think have a cleavage tag, distinct from the breast tag? But this post can't be the only cleavage post!

Interesting mother you have there.

Bruce Hayden said...

My answer would be: "When you are too dumb to know that nothing you say will be taken seriously if you do this".

Pogo said...

Oh, yeah, like none of you guys have ever been giving a statement to the po-lice while the baby squirrel keeps popping his lil head out.

Sure. Not.

wordsprite said...

And here I thought: cute baby squirrel!
Ah, the differences between women and men...

Theo Boehm said...

The squirrel is related to the bats in her belfry.

former law student said...

thh answered the professor's question: to keep the little nutter alive.

But there is an interesting digression that could also explain it:

Ann Althouse said...
@mariner Testimony is a broader term than that.

June 27, 2009 5:32 PM
LarsPorsena said...
It's easy if you're female. Men don't have cleavage so they get a ferret in the pants.

Lars is on the right track, but in the wrong direction. Genesis 24:2-9 suggests that women cannot give testimony because they lack testicles. The squirrel in the cleavage substitutes.

I actually had a work colleague, a black man, who would grab his package to emphasize the truth of what he was telling me.

mariner said...

@Althouse:

Thank you for the reminder that testimony need not occur in an actual courtroom.

What I really meant (and should have written) was that testimony implies a degree of formality incompatible with Squirrel(s) In A Cleavage. ;)

I read the etymology link, and I have two observations.

First, the link is to a work by Jacques Derrida. As I understand it his view of the world is not exactly mainstream.

Second, he didn't write what you apparently think he wrote.

From the linked text:

In its Latin etymology, the witness (testis) is someone who is present as a third person (terstis). We would have to look very closely at this to understand what it might imply. "Testis" has a homonym in Latin. It ususually occurs in the plural, to mean "testicles". It even happens that Plautus plays on the word in Curculio, and exploits its being a homonym.



So "Testimony" is not derived from "testicles". It is derived from a Latin homonym of that word, and Derrida is exploiting its being a homonym (as he claims Plautus did).