March 3, 2009

What was Althouse drinking?

Here.

What was Althouse drinking?
Vodka
Water
Vodka and water
pollcode.com free polls

IN THE COMMENTS: Bart Hall (Kansas, USA) said:
She was drinking a 'Sullenberger.'

Several shots of Grey Goose,
Shake hard, then
Set down gently ... with a splash.
Trooper York (who has met me in person) said:
Despite all the crap she takes from the liberal loons, Althouse is not much of a drinker. She is actually tiny and more than one or two drinks would be very noticeable. So this is all bullshit and make believe fun.

But hey, apple juice in the rocks glasses worked as a gimmick for Dean Martin, so go for it.
Chickenlittle said:
I think she should cultivate an image of a hard drinker, even though she isn't. It's a good foil to fool the left and drive them even crazier.
Meade (who has met me in person) said:
Wait. Chickenlittle, are you saying she's faking it? That she's not really a hard drinker?

But that would change everything. And how would you explain her expensive tastes in vodka and whatnot?
Chickenlittle:
I really thought she was, but she seems to be denying it here. How can I argue? Why would Althouse be messing with our minds?
Meade said:
Wow. If it was just water, I'm afraid I owe her a big apology.

Wow.
Ricpic said:
Blame It On Moskva

Tiny Annie took a sip
And tiny Eve turned red,
Mortified but hic to hip
Both tumbled into bed.
Meade said:
Then Eve said something seemly
And Ann said oh pshaw
You seem to some so dreamy
Your bash of Rush withdraw!

Your bash of Rush withdraw, Eve
Unfounded lies cause schism
Apologize for he's my guy
And learn apologism
Palladian (who has met me in person) said:
Althouse and I once got drunk by clandestinely drinking eau de cologne off the cosmetics bar at Bergdorf-Goodman.

107 comments:

chickenlittle said...

I think it was just a little water.

Jason (the commenter) said...

Please, like she would let vodka spill.

Peter V. Bella said...

That little scene must have provoked a response from someone.

:)

Meade said...

Vodka of course.

"I've been drinking straight vodka."

Althouse is not a liar. Everyone knows that.

HelenParr said...

I don't know for sure what you were drinking, but I find it funny that the New Republic people refer to you as "feisty Ann Althouse."

Ann Althouse said...

Kidding = lying?

ricpic said...

Feisty. Translation: doesn't dhimmi to Dems.

HelenParr said...

Oops. I misquoted. It's the feisty Ann Althouse.

Jason (the commenter) said...

Kidding = lying?

Being an alcoholic is no laughing matter. Maybe when Eve called Althouse "unseemly" she meant "drunk as a skunk".

Meade said...

"Kidding = lying?"

Oh! I'm afraid Eve Fairbanks might not know that. She seems young and impressionable. Naive even.

Jason (the commenter) said...

Maybe Althouse has no idea what she was drinking. That's why she's polling us. She could have blacked out the entire evening!

Ann Althouse said...

How could anyone believe that that huge 16 oz. glass was full of vodka? How could I be talking normally after one hour of that? That would be enough liquor to kill me! What's wrong with you people? How obvious must a joke be????

Meade said...

That right, Jason the commenter. That joke about Heather Mills hopping instead of walking all over Paul could be another clue. Has anyone ever heard her joke when sober?

She might even be drunk right now. Notice her typing seems a bit slurred. We probably should just quietly tip toe away. In case she turns mean.

chickenlittle said...

How could I be talking normally after one hour of that?

Hey, I only listened to that short little linked clip out of the whole BH thing you posted. I couldn't stand listening to her (Eve). Not bad to look at though.

Jason (the commenter) said...

How could anyone believe that that huge 16 oz. glass was full of vodka?

She doesn't think she was drunk because she didn't "feel" drunk. But watch her spill her drink. And her voice. For all we know it was slurred; we might never have heard her sober.

And the "problem" she had with her car this morning. Probably ran over something, let's hope it wasn't alive.

At least she's still is!

JAL said...

I think Lem could tell us.

Meade said...

"At least she's still is!"

Now that really would be shocking news. A still. In her basement? Near the "broken down furnace" I suppose.

And she, a law professor!

Republican said...

It's obvious she was drunk on her ass, so it had to be straight vodka.

Meade said...

I just hope instapundit doesn't link to her right now while she's in her cups. How instantly embarrassing that would be.

chickenlittle said...

Good point Meade. I hope he doesn't link either. That would be terrible for her image.

Jason (the commenter) said...

How obvious must a joke be????

Says the woman who laughs at Titus.

XWL said...

Vodka is the Russian diminutive for water, so I'm guessing it was a special Russian import harvested from melt water collected at one of the untouched and unpolluted parts of the Siberian wastelands.

Seven Machos said...

You! A law professor! Drinking 16 ounces of vodka.

If it's any consolation, Althouse. I say you are tough and could live through the experience. Emphasis on could.

Seven Machos said...

Also, I am thinking of changing my moniker to Feisty Seven Machos.

Jason (the commenter) said...

What's especially disturbing is, she couldn't tell what she was drinking from looking at the empty bottles. She must have empty bottles lying all over the place. Maybe she's worried she drank lighter fluid and needs to see the doctor.

George E. said...

Missing choice: self-absorption and tonic.

Jason (the commenter) said...

Also, I am thinking of changing my moniker to Feisty Seven Machos.

with Cheese!

Seven Machos said...

George E: Why does Althouse bother you by her existence? You are obviously an unhappy twit. Sucks to be you. But no one is making you care what a Big 10 law professor thinks.

Strange. Nearly a psychosis, really.

Meade said...

"...a special Russian import harvested from melt water ..."

Ah ha! All the pieces are now falling into place. Those of us who have been hanging around this gin joint of a blog long enough know how expensive her tastes are.

She may be incoherantly stuporifically blotto plastered, but let no man accuse her of being cheap and ordinary.

Seven Machos said...

We all know it corporate water, by the way.

Meade said...

Sorry. incoherently.

'urp.

Republican said...

I've sent a link to PJTV.

Hope this doesn't make Drudge!

Seven Machos said...

Are you kidding? It should get a flashing siren.

Meade said...

George E! Welcome!

Pull up a chair. There's an empty one. It's yours. Titus suddenly had to leave.

Bart Hall (Kansas, USA) said...

She was drinking a 'Sullenberger.'

Several shots of Grey Goose,
Shake hard, then
Set down gently ... with a splash.

Tibore said...

Well, at least it wasn't "The" Kool Aide.

Jason (the commenter) said...

I bet the party doesn't really get started until she switches to the purple drank.

Meade said...

Whoa, Jason The C! Good research work, pal! Next thing you know, the authorities find her inert. Without a pulse. In bed. In the nude.

This may call for an intervention.

I'll leave for Madison immediately.

blake said...

The blood of virgins wasn't an option either.

Yes, I know it's clear, but--digital editing!!

ricpic said...

Purple drink's not good enuf for them?

ricpic said...

Any excuse for Meade to fondle the package.

Titushadadreamaboutsnakes said...

Who would drink Vodka and water?

That sounds disgusting.

Is there a name for that drink?

I am sure it was just water.

I am eating eggs right now. Yumm, eggs.

Titushadadreamaboutsnakes said...

Is Meade in love with Althouse?

Meade said...

Titus, who isn't?

Titushadadreamaboutsnakes said...

ChickenLittle every time I see that In N Out Burger sign I get hungry.

No In N Out Burger's here, waaaaaaaaa.

No Bob Evans either. Love Bob Evans Biscuits and Gravy.

Titushadadreamaboutsnakes said...

That's what I thought Meade.

Hey everyone, Meade's in love with Althouse.

What do you do with all this adulation and love Althouse?

Trooper York said...

Despite all the crap she takes from the liberal loons, Althouse is not much of a drinker. She is actually tiny and more than one or two drinks would be very noticeable. So this is all bullshit and make believe fun.

But hey, apple juice in the rocks glasses worked as a gimmick for Dean Martin, so go for it.

Titushadadreamaboutsnakes said...

I walked by my bitchy neighbor on the street today and he didn't even say hi after I said hi to him.

He is a freak. I want to hit him and then do him.

Meade said...

I'll bet THAT would teach him to say hi from now on.

Titushadadreamaboutsnakes said...

I want to say to my neighbor "how dare you not say hi to me. I going to hit you and then I am going to do you....bitch."

Titushadadreamaboutsnakes said...

He looks like he would be fun to punch in the face a few times. And then in the gut. And then push into a glass table. And maybe choke just a little.

Do you ever feel that way when you see some people? Like you would like to rough them up a bit?

chickenlittle said...

I think she should cultivate an image of a hard drinker, even though she isn't. It's a good foil to fool the left and drive them even crazier.

chickenlittle said...

@Titushadadreamaboutsnakes:

A German chemist by the name of August Kekulé had a very famous dream about snakes. He changed the world in a very subtle way.

ricpic said...

You said hi to him, Titus, but you didn't say hi guy. That's the signal. How can you blame the guy for not responding if you didn't give him the signal?

Chris Althouse Cohen said...

The first time I heard someone say they wanted something mixed with water (like Bourbon and water), I couldn't believe that was what they really wanted. Why would you want watered-down liquor?

Meade said...

Wait. Chickenlittle, are you saying she's faking it? That she's not really a hard drinker?

But that would change everything. And how would you explain her expensive tastes in vodka and whatnot?

chickenlittle said...

This was his dream.

Pogo said...

She has expensive taste in whatnot??

Me, I buy generic whatnot.
I think.
How can you tell?

Michael Hasenstab said...

Who would drink Vodka and water?

Anyone who orders a vodka martini, traditionally shaken with ice before being poured.

My vote was water, of course. Propriety and all.

Michael Hasenstab said...

Who would drink Vodka and water?

Anyone who orders a vodka martini, traditionally shaken with ice before being poured.

My vote was water, of course. Propriety and all.

chickenlittle said...

Wait. Chickenlittle, are you saying she's faking it? That she's not really a hard drinker?

I really thought she was, but she seems to be denying it here. How can I argue? Why would Althouse be messing with our minds?

Meade said...

Wow. If it was just water, I'm afraid I owe her a big apology.

Wow.

ricpic said...

Blame It On Moskva

Tiny Annie took a sip
And tiny Eve turned red,
Mortified but hic to hip
Both tumbled into bed.

Lem said...

Althouse said she was drinking Straight Vodka.. and I for one believe her.

Though, for the record, I never saw her raise the glass until she mentioned it towards the end.

If Althouse had not said anything nobody would have been the wiser.

Way to go Professor.

chickenlittle said...

Althouse, I owe you an apology too. I bought into the image promulgated by your detractors.

I'm sorry. I won't bring it up again.

Oxbay said...

I did a wikipedia on Eve Fairbanks. It came up blank. It didn't come up blank for Ann Althouse. I can't listen to the bloggingheads video so there might have been some introduction about her explaining who she is. If so my apologies.

Meade said...

ricpic said...
"Blame It On Moskva

Tiny Annie took a sip
And tiny Eve turned red,
Mortified but hic to hip
Both tumbled into bed."

Then Eve said something seemly
And Ann said oh pshaw
You seem to some so dreamy
Your bash of Rush withdraw!

Jason (the commenter) said...

Althouse is not much of a drinker. She is actually tiny and more than one or two drinks would be very noticeable.

Trooper York, you are an enabler. I know you think you're defending her, but don't you see that all you're doing is keeping her from getting the help she needs?

Jason (the commenter) said...

All those pictures of trees must be where she finds herself when she wakes up in the morning!

Meade said...

Your bash of Rush withdraw, Eve
Unfounded lies cause schism
Apologize for he's my guy
And learn apologism

Palladian said...

Althouse and I once got drunk by clandestinely drinking eau de cologne off the cosmetics bar at Bergdorf-Goodman.

Ann Althouse said...

"What do you do with all this adulation and love Althouse?"

Some of it rolls right off me and some of it I quaff enthusiastically. Are you so blind that you don't know the difference?

Jason (the commenter) said...

unseemly and unfounded
the righteous harpy sounded
'gainst whom our queen did caucus
the rowdy men of bacchus
to make a cataclysm
of the beast's apologism

Lem said...

Jim Rockford's answering machine [Episode 603]

(sung) We're down at Hennesey's Bar, Jim, having a drink or two. You better get down here quick, Jim, or we'll probably take up your stool!

blake said...

Yeah, I can picture you there on that stool
Drinking like a drunken fool
Yeah, you're sitting there on your ass
Muttering into your glass
Paying for your low-life thrills
With wet quarters
And soggy one-dollar bills

I know where you are
I know where you are
You're down drinking at the bar

Lem said...

There is a Shirley Abrahmson running on the blog adds..

Hasn't she ever heard the term Sober as a judge?

rcocean said...

It simply proves Althouse makes more sense half-drunk than Fairbanks stone sober.

chickenlittle said...

Next Blooging heads you should have a fake drink like Trooper said. One with clinky ice and maybe even a clove cigarette or what ever it is they pretend smoke on MadMen. I'll bet only Hitchens would have the cajones to take you on then.

traditionalguy said...

An alcoholic game is just what's needed to smooth out the attacks from the libtards stirred up last night by you loose lipped Limbaugh Lovers.The rules of the game are everytime Michael lashes out, you must drink a shot of watered-vodka and then puke it up in his honor.

Jason (the commenter) said...

maybe even a clove cigarette or what ever it is they pretend smoke on MadMen.

Play with the lighting so the only thing well lit is a mysteriously cloud of smoke.

Michael Hasenstab said...

Next Blooging heads you should have a fake drink like Trooper said. One with clinky ice and maybe even a clove cigarette or what ever it is they pretend smoke on MadMen.

And show up wearing whipped cream or soap bubbles and see if it distracts the other commenter. Pretend everything's normal. Have a hand reach up and scratch your chin while the other commenter is speaking.

Lem said...

Maybe topics should have their own drinks.. you know how they link the articles on the side .. you just jump from drink to drink ;)

Titushadadreamaboutsnakes said...

But does anyone of these who love get the love in return?

Or the love they are hoping for?

El Presidente said...

I hear Althouse likes her whiskey like Titus likes young men:

18 years old and mixed up with coke.

AJ Lynch said...

Althouse has a fierce phalanx of defenders. They are a testament to her integrity, her intellect and her no BS sense of fair play.

Seven Machos said...

It's true that these video things are too primitive. First of all, you need to come out of steaming dry ice, Althouse. Confetti should be involved. And you should throw up chalk a la LeBron James. You need a theme song, too. Something fierce.

And when you sit down, you should stare directly into your camera and taunt. "It's gonna be a chilla, and a killa, and a thrilla, when I get TNR's Gorilla in vanilla."

Then, you pit in your mouthpiece and suck down a shot of Jagermeister and feistily annihimate your worthless twat of an opponent.

Seven Machos said...

I was way too fired up in that last post. Thus the misspellings.

Kill! Kill!

Robert Jay said...

Trooper York: you are obviously a complete authority on everything Althouse, having met her in person! Undoubtedly that meeting revealed everything anyone could possibly learn about her habits.

Talk about loons. You're a pro!!

Seven Machos said...

Yeah, Robert. Good one.

JohnAnnArbor said...

Pro loon?

What's an amateur loon? A fake Canadian dollar?

MadisonMan said...

You need a theme song, too. Something fierce.

There is a theme song, the audible althouse themesong for the podcasts.

althouse was drinking clear liquid. That's all I know for certain. I think it was water. Pure (sort of) Madison tap water, free (mostly) of manganese and other metals that make your liver go Yikes!

Seven Machos said...

I was a pro loon once. I jumped port in Hong Kong and made my way over to Tibet. I got a job loonin' over in the Himalayas. You know, a pro jock. So I get a job loonin' for none other than the Dali Lama himself -- the bald head, the flowing robes. Striking.

So we get up on the first tee and he whacks off about a 10,000 foot crevice down into this glacier -- a bit hitter the Lama. Long. So he turns to me and says, "Onga-lagoonga. Oonga goonga lagrunga."

So we finish 18 and he starts to walk off. You know, tries to stiff me. I say, "Hey Dali. Hey Lama! How about somethin' for the effort, you know?"

He says, "Oh there will be no money but, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness."

So I got that goin' for me. Which is nice.

JohnAnnArbor said...

So, that first hole--par 257?

Dust Bunny Queen said...

But hey, apple juice in the rocks glasses worked as a gimmick for Dean Martin, so go for it.

Aaawww .. you just ruined the illusion. I loved the Dean Martin show.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Do you ever feel that way when you see some people? Like you would like to rough them up a bit?

Ummm....yes. My ex husband. He owes me money :-P

Eli Blake said...

DBQ:

There are ways to 'rough people up' by means of blogging.

Last May, I was one of a number of bloggers who couldn't resist putting up snarky little posts about John C. Odom. The last line in my post was,

To paraphrase Jeff Foxworthy, 'You know you're a complete bum when...'

So today I learn that we collectively may have done him in (by 'we' I mean the collective accumulation of snarky bloggers, late night comedians and mean spirited baseball fans.)

From the linked article,

Odom's death had drawn little notice by the start of spring training this year. Now, former teammates, managers and club officians keep asking a question for which there is no satisfying answer.

"I guarantee this trade thing really bothered him. That really worried me," said Dan Schwam, who managed Odom last year on the Laredo Broncos the United League. "I really believe, knowing his background, that this drove him back to the bottle, that it put him on the road to do drugs again."


Should the collective pressure exerted by thousands of amateur comedians (and a few professional ones as well) on an apparently far more fragile than was realized 22 year old psyche deserve a measure of the blame?

Perhaps. You can call me a murderer if you wish.

But my conscience is clear.

Mark Daniels said...

To your original question, you forgot the obvious answer: Nobody gives a rat's hindquarters.

Seven Machos said...

That dude never read anything you wrote. Don't flatter yourself, Eli.

Seven Machos said...

Mark -- Why are you here, then? I mean, really. It's getting ridiculous, the number of people who come and take the time post at Althouse, solely to tell Althouse they don't care. That's why they are here posting, see? Because they don't give a rat's ass.

Common characteristic: utter humorlessness.

Eli Blake said...

As I said, my conscience is clear.

However it is certain that he was unable to deal with the thousands of people all over who made jokes about it (not that he probably read most of them, but he read enough.)

Seven Machos said...

That guy's really a tough case, Eli. I mean, that guy's dream was to play baseball. That's probably the one thing he was any good at, and he was probably better than everybody in his town growing up. And then, not only to wash out, but to get traded for some bats. I'm sure it was disheartening.

On the other hand, at least the guy had a gift and was able to use it. Most people never even get that.

blake said...

Seven,

Of course, people do care about Althouse's trifles, but nobody cares more than the people who come here to insist NOBODY CARES!

That must eat them up inside.

rhhardin said...

It's coffee.

Trooper York said...

Gentlemen, gentlemen please. I do not claim to be an expert on Althouse. That would be Meade. He has spent much more time on Althouse. Allegedly.

However I am an expert on drinking. My extensive research in over forty years of imbibing spirits tells me several things. One of them is the capacity of drinkers to adsorb liqueur without slurring or otherwise noticeably displaying physical manifestations of enjoying alcoholic beverages. It is basically a function of practice and famiality but most of all a function of body weight. For example when Palladian and I were waiting at the last Althouse meet up I would venture to suggest we had at least five drinks before the Professor deigned to grace us with her presence. Neither of us was even slightly the worse for wear as we both have the body weight to adsorb such a piddling amount of alcohol. The professor not so much. Being small and slight of stature imbibing more than three drinks without a meal would be extremely noticeably especially when being filmed on boring heads. So it is patently ridiculous to assume she was drinking vodka while filming the ludicrous pap which serves as an entertainment vehicle for poindexters of the liberal persuasion.

I think you time would be better spent on continuing your work on explaining how fire can not melt steel and research the method in which the Republican National Committee controls the weather.

All the best, your pal Trooper.

Meade said...

Thank you for your insight and expertise, Trooper York. Rethinking my position on this highly controversial and important issue.

Trooper York said...

I know you are on it dude. So to speak.

commenter said...

as an expert at being the designated driver, I can't stand drunken behaviour in front of me or in the seat behind me real or faked.

tiny or not, how your body absorbs alcohol is also a function of the condition of your liver and metabolism. This past summer when i was mad at the entire f-ing world, i faked a drunk act with a Wendy's frosty no less. Gads, that was one of my worst ideas ever. Really an embarassment and a stain against my character to have to sink so low in this world to get a laugh or attention.