January 7, 2009

"The porn industry has been hurt by the downturn like everyone else and they are going to ask for the $5 billion."

"The take here is that everyone and their mother want to be bailed out from the banks to the big three.... Is [porn] the most serious thing in the world? Is it going to make the lives of Americans better if it happens? It is not for them to determine."

70 comments:

Simon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Simon said...

Bailing out the porn "industry" is entirely different to bailing out Detroit. In the latter, the workers are trying to avoid getting fucked, whereas the former...

Joe said...

How about instead creating a tax credit for anyone who makes and distributes their homemade porn. Alternatively, just make porn purchases tax deductible.

walter neff said...

I think you just missed that straw baby.

Lem said...

It is hard to find good porn these days ;)

Ron said...

Let's see..."stimulus package"...porn industry...The One...

Man, it's just too easy!

Ron said...

Wahhhh!!! We can't have just Japanese porn via Alabama, can we?

Oh, wait...!

reader_iam said...

First real laugh of the day, this comment.

Methadras said...

The jokes will come hither and thither.

TitusHighOnAHillLivesALonelyGoat said...

My take on this is everyone should find their own porn in their life and not rely on "the porn industry".

You can have a good life of work, friends and family at that same time conducting "porn activities" in your spare time.

Don't expect the porn industry to give you a handout or meet your needs. Be entrepreneurial and seek out porn by yourself.

My purse if full of porn stories and none of them came from a porn company thank you. I worked hard for them on my own.

Ron said...

The blogosphere will have to fill the soon-to-be porn void! "Bloggingheads" will take on new meaning! Every blog that fills a certain word count with porn blogging will get Federal Subsidies!

Daryl said...

This is a great parody of other bailout requests.

The bailouts are turning into a big popularity contest. Whoever is the most popular gets to take all of our money and live it up.

I'm never going to win any popularity contests. Nobody is going to bail out lawyers. The only thing lawyers can do is make sure the bailout rules are really complicated (in the name of "fairness") so that there will be plenty of legal jobs created to litigate the distribution of bailout money.

TitusHighOnAHillLivesALonelyGoat said...

Your life can be a story of porn but without the bad acting, horrendous sets and troublesome haircuts.

You can incorporate your pornographic life within your real life. You just need to prioritize and not let your porn life become all too consuming.

An alley here, a bush there, a car over yonder are all at your finger tips. You just need to lift your tail and let out your scent and the perps will come a calling.

Simon said...

"If it's hurting [financially], you're not doing it right"!

TitusHighOnAHillLivesALonelyGoat said...

Currently it is my Off-Season for my porn activities.

The weather makes it incredibly difficult to walk up and down the streets and sling your pussy.

This time of the year it is important to devote yourself to improving your body so when the first 70 degrees day hits you are ready for the tanky. And as a result of wearing the tanky you will find your porn while walking the streets.

Zachary Paul Sire said...

Larry Flynt..always the master of getting a little publicity for a few days.

Hey, it's actually kind of smart. Threatening to cut off the porn industry's biggest customer base (congress) might get Flynt some "behind closed doors" financial assistance!

mcg said...

Jokes aside, could this possibly prove embarrassing enough for Congress that they actually take a stand that "we can't bail out everyone!"









OK, no, jokes not aside I guess.

Trooper York said...

I don't know, if they send the fluffers to lobby they have a pretty good shot.

Paul Zrimsek said...

They'd better act fast. Moody's just downgraded Larry Flynt Publishing from XXX to X.

TitusHighOnAHillLivesALonelyGoat said...

I don't like porn. I find it boring.

Simon said...

Congress better not bail out Detroit and stiff the pornographers!

Whaddayaknow, the well isn't dry after all.

Trooper York said...

"Stiff the pornographers?"

Simon said...

Troop - maybe it's an older idiom. Estelle Getty would have gotten it.

Jane Hamsher wouldn't get it, even for money.

Henry said...

$5 billion? Where do you find a garter that stretchy?

Simon said...

Lookit, if this is the thread of the evening - and lord knows it's more fun than trying to parse Schmuck and Kwiat as I've been doing for the last three hours - I'm far too sober. Time to open a bottle of red.

chickenlittle said...

Fed Chairman Ben Bukkake says taxpayers will just have to take it on the chin.

TitusHighOnAHillLivesALonelyGoat said...

There are some porn sites that I am a member of.

They are "amateur sites". One is military men, which was once busted, yes they are real military one and the other one is a bunch of ex prisoners who do it.

Other than that I don't watch much porn.

I anticipate I watch about 1 hour of porn a month. I don't think that is that much.

How much do you think the average guys watches a month?

Trooper York said...

"Fed Chairman Ben Bukkake says taxpayers will just have to take it on the chin."

That's why they call it the "money shot."

Lawgiver said...

That picture of Larry Flint makes him look like Carrie Fisher who now looks like Jabba the Hutt as previously noted. And Princess Leia's full name is Princess Leia Organa. I'm not making this up.

TitusHighOnAHillLivesALonelyGoat said...

I did a porn actor once. I met him on the street and went up to his tiny studio. I had seen him in the hood before and knew he had done porn.

I didn't want him to know that I knew he was in porn though. So I just did him and didn't mention it. I didn't want him to get all big headed or anything.

He wasn't that great. Nice hog though, shaved head, naturally smooth body, bubble butt.

I told him I was straight and lived in New Jersey.

TitusHighOnAHillLivesALonelyGoat said...

The porn actor's apartment was a futon on the floor, the kitchen on the wall and a bathroom you couldn't turn around in.

Talk about depressing.

Thank God he had a good body.

TitusHighOnAHillLivesALonelyGoat said...

The porn actor wanted me to stick a dildo up his ass.

We had to have a discussion about the fact that I didn't want to stick a dildo up his ass. Uncomfortable.

I am not into props.

John Stodder said...

The soft economy claims another victim.

They need a big stimulus package.

Congress has every right to complain, however. Boobs have been in charge of that industry for a long time. It might be time for them to take it on the chin.

Simon said...

Can I just point out that some of the imagery here is just gross -- I'm looking at you, Stodder, and chickenlittle, I had to google that to figure out what you were talking about and ewwwwwwwww, ewwwwwwwww ewwwwwwwww ewwwwwwwww -- and much of it is (perhaps mercifully) lost on our hostess who hasn't watched any of this stuff.

John Stodder said...

I can't believe I just repeated chickenlittle's joke. My apologies, CI.

Of course, this is one industry where repetition apparently isn't a problem.

I just hope the CEOs of the porn industry don't get confused when they're looking for a fiscal injection and mistakenly ask for a money shot.

reader_iam said...

Flynt: You think porn is PORN!?! I'll show you PORN! Bails of it.

---

Among other things, my teaser for a whole series (provided by others, is my hope) in this thread of what has been going through Flynt's mind through ye these many months.

reader_iam said...

Meanwhile, the talk about fish tacos on Top Chef tonight has been incredibly distracting in trying to even half-watch the show.

And you all know who all's fault that is, now don't you?

Mrs. Topsy Canning said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yd9gQkikr50&feature=related

mbabin said...

The porn industry's concerns for the needs of the citizens are completely unfounded. Congress is committed to screwing the taxpayers on a regular basis.

Pogo said...

Congressional Viagra
Dose: 700 billion mg
Sig: one dose as needed; do not repeat in any 24 hour period
Adverse effects: blindness, hairy palms, eternal damnation, taxation without representation
Refills: 0 (5 for DNC donors)
WARNING: does not protect against HIV or AARP or UAW

chickenlittle said...

Reader said: And you all know who all's fault that is, now don't you?

I blame Trooper York.

Henry said...

I don't know that any of us can beat Flynt at his own game:

"People are too depressed to be sexually active," Flynt said in the statement. "This is very unhealthy as a nation. Americans can do without cars and such but they cannot do without sex."

The funniest line in the article, though, is this one:

Flynt and [Girls Gone Wilde CEO Joe] Francis concede the industry itself is in no financial danger...

Now that's a bailout that makes sense.

reader_iam said...

Chickenlittle: Oh, that's been group effort for a while now.

reader_iam said...

(That's why a chose "who all's" as opposed "whose". To be clear, and all.)

chickenlittle said...

@Henry: Are you sure that was "Girls Gone Wilde"?

Pogo said...

""Girls Gone Wilde""
Lesbian prison video, 1994.


I think.

reader_iam said...

Also, given all that's set me on a search for laughs tonight and what the next week may bring, I feel the need to seize the moment, even if in so doing it's both off topic and premature:

Happy birthday, Prof. A. (Jan. 11)!

Happy "blogiversary" (foul term, as a word, I know), Althouse (Jan. 14)!

TitusHighOnAHillLivesALonelyGoat said...

Good news. My parents have made it to Arizona after their long drive from Wisconsin.

The weather is going to be 69 in Phoenix tomorrow.

They are meeting up with all of their friends. Their friends are from Seattle and Lexington, and Chicago and The Quad Cities and Rochester and International Falls and Carbondale and Des Moines and Jefferson City.

Their schedule this week includes:

line dancing
golfing
walking around the lake
tennis
swimming
pool for dad
water yoga for mom
shuffleboard
concerts
plays
trip to Vegas
trip to Palm Springs
cocktails
working out
dinner out
brunch
trip to Sedona
watching Brewers
trip to Tombstone
trip to Tucson

No porn.

When and if I get to 70 I hope my life is as enjoyable.

God Bless them. I love them so much.

TitusHighOnAHillLivesALonelyGoat said...

I meant their plans for the next three months not this week.

Meade said...

$5 billion is a lot of money. I've never watched porn. Who makes up the market for it? People who don't get enough sex? Why not save your money from purchasing porn and use it instead to pay for delicious food that you can use to lure your love interest into having more sex with you? You know -- skip the middleman.

reader_iam said...

Also, I don't want anyone to miss inaugural fashion tips (or a laugh, wherever found).

Theo Boehm said...

This is very disturbing.

Everyone knows that Federal bailouts invariably come with many strings attached.

Critics are already saying that many on Capitol Hill would want to subject the porn industry to tight regulation.

What would Federally approved porn look like?

Who would be the Porn Czar?

What about the regulatory bureaucracy?  Would OSHA have to assume responsibility for the safety of the actors?  What would a visit from an OSHA inspector to a porn movie set entail?  What about hard hats and safety harnesses? The drafting of sex toy regulation alone would be long and hard.

Then there is the issue of undue Congressional oversight.  You can imagine how many Members would want to stand firm on standards and practices.

No, this an example of a temporary program that would certainly become engorged and harden into a permanent state of affairs, stretching the taxpayers' ability to take any more insertion of the Federal Government into their private lives.

EDH said...

Enough is enough.

Taxpayers should protest.

Time for a Boston Tea Bag Party!

TitusHighOnAHillLivesALonelyGoat said...

I know I have mentioned this before but the owners in my building are really pretty fabulous. Previous Harvard Law School grads, Harvard MBA grads, doctors, lawyers, real estate brokers, a Bush admin person who I will not devulge the name of because I am all about confidentiality and....myself.

Two new tenants moved in. They are black. One is black like from Africa and the other is black like I want to do him. They have a dog like the dog that Niles Crane had on Frazier. I tried to strike up a conversation with the black that I want to do but he was distant. I tried to google them but to no avail. I only know their last names from their mailbox not first names. I assume they are gay. All the units in my builiding are one bedroom lofts. My question is do they cheat? And if so, would the black that I would be willing to do do me? His boyfriend is very black and I am very white so I don't like my chances.

One of my all time favorite movies is on IFC now-Blue Velvet. Dorothy Valens is now singing Blue Velvet-absolutely divine.

I saw Blue Velvet at the Westgate Mall when I was like 14 and was in love.

rhhardin said...

The first straw in the wind was probably Onion's headline that jaded porn viewers want a new orifice to look at.

Flynt has a history of indulging himself in making political points, every few decades.

hdhouse said...

Unlike the auto industry and certainly the financial sector at least this is a topic that congress probably knows a lot about so my hunch is it will pass.

but wait, didn't we already give money to Citi and AIG?

AllenS said...

While we're at it, the AllenS Foundation needs about $100,000.

Michael_H said...

Nice job putting up a post that kills the previous topic and its contentious comments.

Porn trumps politics every time.

Pogo said...

If Congress doubles it and gives them $10 billion, they can get a twofer.

Darcy said...

Well, downturns can happen. I think they should try to shrug it off first.

Simon said...

Theo Boehm said...
"What would Federally approved porn look like?"

Barbara Boxer's book.

Ralph said...

Barbara Boxer's boxers. Eeeww.

Titus, your parents don't need porn. They're going to a nudist colony. Why do you think they went where it's warm?

MadisonMan said...

So did Jon Stewart et al. put Larry Flynt up to this for material?

Original George said...

Inflation is a bad thing,
But unemployment worse;
All men derived from Adam
Have felt this double curse:

Have tossed all night, recalling
Past rapturous enjoyment--
Bemoaning the inflation
That stems from unemployment.
-William Espy

Meade said...

"Well, downturns can happen. I think they should try to shrug it off first."

LOL

What will they bail out next? Drugs? Rock&Roll?

Pogo said...

Oooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhh, I get it now!

LOL Darcy.
Geez I'm slow.

Simon said...

The industry's certainly in a difficult position.

Michael H said...

A Senate Select Committee will probe the matter and report back with its findings.

Darcy said...

Hee, Pogo and Meade. ;-)

Meade said...

I have nothing new to add to this discussion.

My Increase Mather puritanism just won't allow me to let the comment number settle on "69."

Labels: economics, pornography

POSTED BY ANN ALTHOUSE AT 8:00 PM
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