January 2, 2009

The Lex Luthor Award for Best Caper of 2008.

The voting continues until January 7th, but this looks like the winner:
In September, a robber disguised as a gardener pepper-sprayed an armored car driver using a pesticide sprayer and ran off with a bag stuffed with $400,000 in cash. When police arrived seconds later, they found the sidewalk crowded with dozens of men decked out in the same attire as the perp: blue shirt, Day-Glo vest, safety mask and glasses. While the cops hacked through a forest of suspects, the real perp fled to a nearby creek and escaped in a waiting inner tube.

Turns out the unwitting decoys had been lured to the crime scene by a Craigslist ad that promised construction work to those showing up in a "yellow vest, safety goggles, a respirator mask … and, if possible, a blue shirt." A month later, following a lead from a homeless man who witnessed the preparation for the Brinks job, police arrested 28-year-old Anthony Curcio fresh from a Las Vegas vacation. Curcio is now charged with "Interference with commerce by threats or violence," because "Pulling the most awesome robbery ever" isn't listed in the U.S. code.
If possible, a blue shirt.... Isn't that "if possible" the detail that made it seem legit?

17 comments:

Mark said...

This is straight out of a novel by the Scottish author Christopher Brookmyre. In "The Sacred Art of Stealing" a caper against the National Bank of Scotland is pulled off by almost the same method (clown make-up rather than resperators).

Robert R. said...

Heck, it's straight out of THE DARK KNIGHT with "men in respirators" instead of "busses".

I agree with Ann, the "if possible" really sells the ad as legitimate.

Ron said...

Why so serious?

SteveR said...

"if possible" yeah that's great.

Robert R. said...

I should also add, the safety equipment being mandatory is a nice touch. Shows concern for the workers.

Meade said...

$400,000 hardly seems worth it.

blake said...

What, no death rays?

Some caper.

rcocean said...

I liked the escape by "waiting inner-tube" bit - its not done much these days.

Joe said...

Reminds me of the end of the Brosnan version of The Thomas Crowne Affair.

Chip Ahoy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Firehand said...

Sounds like the story idea I gave my daughter a while back. Police run in on a robbery call; the victim points out the side door and says "You can't miss him, he's wearing a red skirt!"

And the police run out, into the city park where the Highland Gathering is being held...

Chip Ahoy said...

But what's so uckingfay upidstay is to allow his preparations to be seen, leading to him being caught. Ha ha ha ha ha. Lex Luthor would have been more surreptitious than that.

The Lex Luthor award should be awarded to an unknown perpetrator of an unsolved crime for it to have any real meaning. This was cute, yes, but not good enough. Plus, nobody died. Lex Luthor is psychotic and sociopathic. Fail !

^^^ Pig Latin corrected.

siyeh pass said...

Chip - Lex Luther is fictional, of course he'd do it right, he's Lex. Anyway, it's a pretty sweet idea - got a kick reading it.

Kevin Shaum said...

No, Chip, it has to be a solved crime ... because brilliant as Luthor is, he never gets away with it in the end.

Maybe a Superman Award is in order for whoever nabbed the Luthor Award winner.

Beth said...

Reminds me of the end of the Brosnan version of The Thomas Crowne Affair.

Our first thought, too. Great scene, accompanied by Nina Simone's version of "Sinnerman."

AllenS said...

Police: "Hello?"

Distraught Citizen: "Help, I've just been robbed on the corner of Main and Broadway and the man ran west toward the park!"

Police: "Do you have a discription?"

Distraught Citizen: "Yes, he was wearing a dress."

Police arrive at the park and find a Scottish bagpipe concert.

Original George said...

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