January 11, 2009

I'm live-blogging The Golden Globes.

6:00: Come hang out with me. I'm watching Nancy O'Dell on the red carpet interviewing the Jonas Brothers. They seem like nice young men, but boring. I guess they don't need to be interesting, as they are obviously loved for whatever it is they do — which I've never experienced.

6:05: Commenting on her success, Miley Cyrus says she's not a big planner, but "God has a plan." She looks pretty there in her very long drapey white dress, with her dad who's flat-ironed his hair as much as a man possibly can.

6:15: Steve Carrell bows down to Ricky Gervais.

6:27: Gah! I screwed up the title line. Fixed. Sorry. The red carpet stuff is made less glamorous by the presence of TV folk, who seem especially interested in getting camera time. Meanwhile, we see Kate Winslet lurking over there, looking splendid.

6:29: Vanessa Hudgens's hair doesn't just look like a wig, it looks like a play wig. Jessica Lange is escorting Drew Barrymore. They are holding hands. I love Drew's hair — it seems to be inspired by Marilyn Monroe after a long night of drinking. Blah! Now it's Jeremy Piven whining about his ailment that no one believes he has.

6:41: Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio together again. This time he's the one who looks ever so slightly bloated. She's wearing a black dress and looks so good wearing red lipstick that maybe all of us women will be wearing red lipstick tomorrow.

6:47: Is that Tom Cruise's phone ringing? He's moved off to the side so Nancy O'Dell can get to Robert Downey Jr. — who's wearing dark sunglasses and looks very unkempt, yet brags about his sobriety — and then Sting — who's very red and bloated and bearded. He needs to go on Tom Cruise's diet, because Tom looks radically rejuvenated, all sharp edges.

6:50: Marisa Tomei promotes her movie — "The Wrestler" — which she says is "very verité."

7:01: Jennifer Lopez is handing out the Best Supporting Actress movie award. And it's... Kate Winslet. She's acting flustered, which she attributes to her "habit of not winning things." She's glistening with sweat. And maybe the rest of us women will try to be glistening with sweat tomorrow. She's thanking the movie makeup people for "making me look so old." [LATER: Ricky Gervais says he told her if she did a Holocaust film she'd win. This is a reference to the first episode of "Extras," where Winslet plays herself as an actress who is doing a Holocaust film in order to win an Oscar.]

7:07: Best Song. I was going to say I don't care, but then I see that the "Gran Torino" song is up. And there's Bruce Springsteen, who bellyached his way through a typical Bruce Springsteen song for "The Wrestler." And damned if he doesn't win. "This is the only time I'm going to be in competition with Clint Eastwood. That's for sure."

7:19: Supporting TV Actor. I guess Ben Franklin will win. Yeah. Tom Wilkinson. One of these days I'll finish watching the episodes of "John Adams." It wasn't my favorite sort of thing, but Wilkinson was good in it. He's acting quite geezerly now.

7:22: Supporting TV Actress. The only one I know is Laura Dern from "Recount." And she wins. She played Kathrine Harris — very amusingly. Oh, now, she's blabbering about the election and looking forward to "amazing change in this country." I hope that doesn't make anyone else think now would be a good time to talk politics. At least, her little TV movie was about a presidential election.

7:31: Best TV Actor is Gabriel Byrne, but he's not there. So on to Best TV Actress. Anna Paquin wins for "True Blood." Remember how cute she when she won an Oscar -- as a little girl? By the way, the presenters are the 2 young actors who are playing Captain Kirk and Spock in some new "Star Trek" project. They look interestingly like William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy — but handsomer — younger and handsomer.

7:40: "Wall-E" wins for animated movie, and the guy accepting the award thanks his kids and says they inspire every emotion he tries to capture on film. That sounds nice until you think about it for about 2 seconds.

7:45: Best Actress in a Comedy/Musical goes to Sally Hawkins, and I'm sorry I didn't see "Happy-Go-Lucky." She beat Meryl Streep, who detains her on the way to the stage. Bow to the Streep. She beat Emma Thompson too. And Frances MacDormond. That's some major ass-kicking.

7:56: Jessica Lange and Drew Barrymore are still holding hands. They're presenting the Best TV Mini-Series or Movie. Unsurprisingly, "John Adams" wins. Surprisingly, the award is accepted by Tom Hanks. He could use some makeup.

8:01: Best Supporting Actor in a movie. Heath Ledger wins. He's not there to accept the award... needless to say. The director Christopher Nolan accepts the award. They show the "You complete me" clip.

8:05: Here's a list of all the nominees, in case you're wondering who the losers are. Now, here's Tom Brokaw. Why? Oh, he's introducing the clips for "Frost/Nixon." Funnily spoofed on "SNL" last night as "Frost/Other People."

8:09: Best Foreign Film. Oh! Israel won. "Waltz with Bashir." The producer accepts and says he hopes when his kids watch the film some day, the war it depicts will be something from the past.

8:13: Actress in a TV Mini-Series/Movie goes to Laura Linney — Abigail Adams — and it's no surprise. She's wearing an ugly dress and that hairstyle that mainly consists of not brushing.

8:22: Movie Screenplay. "Slumdog Millionaire." Excellent!

8:24: Best TV Actor. Alec Baldwin. I don't watch his show, but maybe I should.

8:33: Actor in a TV Mini-Series/Movie. Of course, it will be Paul Giamatti, right? Yes.

8:38: Best TV Comedy series. Obviously, it will be "30 Rock." I've never watched it. Heard it's good.

8:45: Original Movie Score. Gotta be "Slumdog." Yeah. A lot of movie music is just background emotional mainipulation, but "Slumdog" had some really exciting stuff. The composer thanks the "billion people from India."

8:48: Everyone seems to know that Tina Fey will win Best TV Actress, and she does. She's got a dress cut all the way down to the waistband, but don't get nervous. It's clearly glued on. She's bitching about the internet. She's telling specific bloggers — I think they're bloggers, they sound like bloggers — they can "suck it." It's nice to know the celebs read what the bloggers say about them and that it can bug them.

9:03: I'm not interested in watching the honoring of Steven Speilberg. It's not about this year's movies. It's such a drag. I hate all the shots of actresses faces — all that admiration. I imagine them all thinking about whether they look pretty giving the impression of caring.

9:15: A big one: Best Director. I say out loud: Danny Boyle. And that's right. It's Danny Boyle. I loved "Slumdog Millionaire" — saw it twice. Apparently, everyone in India is watching. That would be 1 billion people. Maybe some of them are watching TVs in shop windows, like the people in "Slumdog."

9:21: Colin Farrell wins the Best Actor in a Comedy/Musical. He says things like "Ignorance is nemesis."

9:32: Sacha Baron Cohen is riffing on the subject of economic hard times. "Even Madonna has had to get rid of one of her personal assistants. Our thoughts go out to you, Guy Ritchie." The audience sighs with disapproval... and also laughs. The award he's presenting is Best Musical/Comedy. Ah! "Vicki, Christina, Barcelona." Nice to see a Woody Allen movie win.

9:40: Best Drama Actress. This is the one where the GG website seemed to reveal that Anne Hathaway had won. But no! It's Kate Winslet!!!! Our Kate! She's won twice! "Okay. Gather." "I want to thank my beautiful agents."

9:46: Best TV Drama: "Mad Men."

9:53: Best Drama Actor. Mickey Rourke! I'm glad he won over Sean Penn simply because he's there and Sean is not. He gets a big, enthusiastic standing ovation. He looks really cool — sleazy cool — with stringy, highlighted hair, a mustache, light sunglasses, dark spray-on tan, dark satin lapels, and a dark sequined scarf. It shows that he really wanted it. He's touchingly pleased and genuinely humble.

10:00. Tom Cruise is here to give the Best Drama award, and I think we know it's going to be... it is... "Slumdog Millionaire."

10:03: The producer accepting the award, getting rushed to wrap up, says "Oh, fuck!" and the audio is removed. So we know it was tape delayed, and I wonder if this will affect the Supreme Court's "fleeting expletives" case. See? It's not hard to snip out the fleeting expletive. And here it is so conspicuously demonstrated. (And now, I can put the "law" tag on this post.)

10:07: Ah, finally, it's over. Highlights: Kate winning twice. Mickey Rourke. All the kudos to "Slumdog."

84 comments:

Christopher Althouse Cohen said...

I can't watch it until three hours after they really air it! I can't believe they don't show it live in LA. I wish I knew where you could watch it live online.

Original George said...

The Jonas Brothers are gay.

That's the authoritative word from my 11-year-old daughter.

Don't you be disrepectin' Billy Ray, or you can tell my lips to tell my fingertips they won't be reaching out for you no more.

Trooper York said...

The Jonas Brothers are not gay. What's the matter with you.

Now the Smith brothers, they were gay. You don't want to know how they came up with the idea for the cough drop.

Tibore said...

Damn... that Ryan Seacrest guy is little! Kate Winslet looks like a linebacker compared to him, and Kate Winslet is the farthest thing from being a linebacker.

I wanna see Seacrest and Tom Cruise stand next to each other. :D

Tibore said...

Hell, come to think of it, I wanna see Seacrest and Warwick Davis stand next to each other!

Zachary Paul Sire said...

I am live blogging it too...but not until 8pm, PST. So it's not live blogging! But, I'm going to pretend that it doesn't matter.

I miss live blogging, so this is the only reason I'm doing it. Don't you miss live blogging, Althouse? Remember when you were doing it like every few days back in Aug, Sept, Oct, and Nov? It's fun.

Original George said...

Jessica Lange is 59.

How daring of Dustin Hoffman to reveal that all the questions are scripted. How very 1973.

ricpic said...

OT: The new Althouse avatar is Holbeinish. Nice.

Trooper York said...

I hope someone chubby kicks the crap out of Ricky Gervais that snot nosed limey elitist.

If Jackie Gleason were alive he would clean his clock.

Tibore said...

Ok... I've officially reached the uncool, old age point of my life because I have to ask this: Who the f--- are the Jonas Brothers??

Palladian said...

"Who the f--- are the Jonas Brothers??"

Some little singing faggots waiting to disillusion their middle school and junior high school fans after the inevitable drug and cocksucking scandals begin to surface.

ricpic said...

Jonas Brothers, Smith Brothers, Floogle Brothers, it's a mad kaleidoscope of utterly inconsequential creatures. Better than admitting you're not withit better to just go with the flow Tibore, go with the flow.

Original George said...

Hey, Kids! Cheetah Girls rule!!

Yay!!!!!!

Tibore said...

Hmm... "... singer and social activist, Sting"...

I thought the whole point of introductions was to highlight accomplishments. In other news, does this show what the entertainment industry considers important nowadays? At some point, I fear that entertainment will become a secondary reason for Hollywood's existence.

What? Me? Cynical??... says who?...

Palladian said...

Anyone want to place bets on when the "Amazing Change™" lines delivered ever-more-unconvincingly by glassy-eyed Changelings is going to curdle and disappear? It's already starting to seem a little past its sell-by date.

jdeeripper said...

Laura Dern from "Recount." And she wins. She played Kathrine Harris — very amusingly. Oh, now, she's blabbering about the election and looking forward to "amazing change in this country."

She's married to some black guy so yeah I'm sure she's filled with amazement at the change.

Zachary Paul Sire said...I am live blogging it too...

Take a wild guess how many people care!

Original George said...

JOHNNNNNNNYYYYYYY!!!

JOHHHHHHNNNNYYYY DEPPPPP!!!!!1111!!!!!!

OMG!!!

Tibore said...

She seems like a nice actress and all, but man! Was Sally Hawkins' speech interminable, or what?

I confess, I'm flipping back and forth between the Globes and SpikeTV's rerun of the original Star Wars series. They just finished the getaway from Bespin City. Return of the Jedi will be next, at 9pm.

I'm sorta sorry I missed the "Go Fug Yourself" Red Carpet blog. I completely forgot about those gals until now.

john said...

We have salmon on the grill, cabernet in the glass, and kids doing homework. Its a nice time to relax and let Ann do the watching (no TV tonite here). I'll be interested when Slumdog is up for something.

john said...

Wait, is golden globes movies too, or just tv?

jdeeripper said...

She's wearing a black dress and looks so good wearing red lipstick that maybe all of us women will be wearing red lipstick tomorrow.

Anything would be better than your new photo.

What happened, did you lose a bet?

Tibore said...

Ralph Fiennes looked happy?? Da hell... is he on Prozac now or something? He's always acted like a dour fellow before. Kick-ass actor, but dour fellow.

fivewheels said...

I'm not watching so maybe I missed a nuance. I thought about it for at least 9 seconds and I still can't grasp why it's not nice that the Wall-E guy's kids inspire emotions. Is it because rage and shame are emotions too?

Still seems apt.

jdeeripper said...

Kate Winslet's Golden Globes.

Original George said...

Sorry, can't make more comments.

Son seized control of TV.

Watching Discovery Channel documentary...."The Making of 'My Bloody Valentine 3D'

In theatres Jan. 16

Tibore said...

Ouch... some of the other Globes liveblogs - like MTV's one - have zero comments on them.

Just another nail in the coffin for that particular case. The channel lost its relevance quite some time ago, but this is just another painful reminder of that.

But I feel sorry for some of these other blogs. I don't know if it's worse to just not comment at all and leave those with a goose-egg, or leave a single, token one which just as badly highlights the lack of such. Either way, I can't help but feel sorry.

Original George said...

You'll feel sorry when some psycho in a gas-mask in a coal mine flings a pick-axe at you in 3D.

January 16.

Tibore said...

Cripes, the commentary at the Anderson Cooper Globes liveblog is just so... well... vapid.

I wanted to log in there and see if I'd get some stimulating blog conversation (blogservation??), but I just can't bring myself to do so. Maybe it's just because I don't know the regulars there...

The Crack Emcee said...

I'm sick of all these celebrities (I first thought this when I saw Doogie Howser, last night, on SNL:) I want new celebrities - new talent - fresh blood.

People who can do art I'll appreciate - be blown away by - and don't think it's their right, or role, to tell me how to vote, what to eat, or whether or not to "save the planet" - like this rock of cold, hurricanes, typhoons, and tsunamis, needs me to, anyway.

I want all the NewAgers, with their loose morals (Kate Winslet) medical quackery (Oprah) pseudoscience (all of them) and cult beliefs (Tom Cruise, and half of Hollywood) to finally be washed away.

Your uncritical fascination with them is (partially) why John Travolta's kid is dead.

Sorry, but there it is.

Tibore said...

He's in a coal mine now, George? Last I saw, he'd just suffered re-entry from being up in space.

Sheesh... there's some metalevels to the fact that the movies, like the character, just doesn't die.

Tibore said...

The MTV liveblog finally got a comment!

LOL.

Tibore said...

On SpikeTV, Princess Leia just unfroze Solo, and got both caught by Jabba. We all know the scene. :D

Tibore said...

Good GOD, what is Renée Zellweger wearing?

Where are the Go Fug Yourself girls when we need them?

Original George said...

"Delightfully old-school in the blood-’n’-guts department! Measures up! Delivers the 3D goods. Made to be seen! Great horror cinema. A date movie! Betsy Rue has a memorable lengthy full-frontal nude scene that she plays so well. Rue's nude demise is as memorable a death as the laundromat scene in the previous version. Truly riveting drama. Enjoyably over-the-top!

If you don’t experience this one in a theater in 3-D, you’ll be missing out on all the fun."

Three Skulls!! raves Fangoria.com

Beth said...

I have long had the idea that every actor, director, screenwriter, etc, should be limited to a career total of ten or fifteen movies. That way they'd have to pick better stuff and we wouldn't be stuck with the same ole people for decades.

Tibore said...

What?? The Fug Girls liked Zellweger's dress???

(*Shakes head*...)

Matt Brown said...

Tracy Morgan is so annoying, but he knew how to dress for tonight. I work an evening jacket for my wedding.

Cedarford said...

Palladian said...
"Who the f--- are the Jonas Brothers??"

Some little singing faggots waiting to disillusion their middle school and junior high school fans after the inevitable drug and cocksucking scandals begin to surface.


Mighty manly of a teacher-salami smoker to say so, Palladian. Any cocksucking scandals in your pederast past?

Crack Emcee - Your uncritical fascination with them is (partially) why John Travolta's kid is dead.

Sorry, but there it is.


Why be sorry? Dumb niggaz like you is what they is. You too stupid to say why Jet Travolta died, why be you (in the ebonics sense) sorry 'bout it?

Tibore said...

Ok... they have Skywalker on the plank, and Jabba's having Threepio do the mouthpiece thing.

----

George, which Discovery channel's doing the "Making Of" documentary? The DSC channel in my area's showing that "Planet Earth" series.

Tibore said...

Drew Barrymore's gotten prettier over the years. Problem is, she's still got the gravitas of Minnie Mouse.

Palladian said...

"I have long had the idea that every actor, director, screenwriter, etc, should be limited to a career total of ten or fifteen movies. That way they'd have to pick better stuff and we wouldn't be stuck with the same ole people for decades."

That's yet another wonderful thing about Stanley Kubrick!

Virginia said...

There are a lot of commercials for Cash Point. During prime time? How times have suddenly changed.

Donna B. said...

I'm trying to care about these awards, it's just that I'd rather pick my nose. So much more exciting!

Nagarajan said...

I am an Indian guy and some one here can help me out with this - why the heck is Slumdog millionaire AS popular as it seems to be ?

I understand the whole "rooting for the underdog" theme, but i found this movie to be nothing more than a Bollywood wannabe made by a British guy... quite contrived in quite a few places as well.

I think there were good performances in the movie, but i didnt find anything special in it to be nominated for awards or anything like that.

Is this some misguided feeling of appreciation for what people think is "authenticity" ?

Virginia said...

Don't know. Haven't seen it.

SteveR said...

Yes Beth, Great Idea!

Tibore said...

Ok, on Spike, Han just loaned the Millennium Falcon to Lando and did his "never going to see it again" speech.

On E!, Hef's going over some old scrapbooks with his girls. Kendra's laugh hasn't gotten any less annoying. We get to see the blonde trio oooh and ahh over ancient history... which to them is anything prior to 1980...

Tibore said...

@Nagarajan:

Hell if I know. I haven't seen the movie yet. All I know is that it's got buzz.

In Hollywood, that's at least as important as quality, possibly more.

Joe said...

Wow, people actually watch this shit?

The Crack Emcee said...

Cedarford,

WTF?

Tibore said...

On E!, Hef's still going over some old scrapbooks with his girls. Kendra's laugh hasn't gotten any less annoying. We get to see the blonde trio oooh and ahh over ancient history... which to them is anything prior to 1980...

... yes, this is what constitutes an upadate with that show. But the girls are hot.

Virginia said...

Nagarajan, ask Ann. She loved it. She thinks 1 billion people are watching in India.

Tibore said...

Heh... I like Colin Farrell, despite his prediliction for malapropism.

Erik Samdahl said...

Thanks for the live blogging... I can't watch the Golden Globes until 8 PT, and now I don't have to watch the boring event (I will watch 24 instead).

Glad that Danny Boyle won for best director, even though Slumdog was overrated just a tad.

Ann Althouse said...

@ Nagarajan, I think people love the "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" framing of the story. Also, most of us don't watch Bollywood movies. I can understand your puzzlement if you know of lots of great movies that this looks like. On the bright side, it will make non-Indians more likely to see those films.

Why don't you give me a list of films: Movies you'll really love if you loved "Slumdog Millionaire."

Nagarajan said...

"Nagarajan, ask Ann. She loved it. She thinks 1 billion people are watching in India."

Hell no, i dont think even people in Bombay would watch this movie, to put it frankly. Of course the buzz it has generated may generate quite a bit of curiosity, but this is not one of those,"Don't you miss this movie!!" type of hit.

I did some research on its box office earnings and it has earned about 24 million dollars as of December 15th. So, its not going to top 30 million in my estimate. It is probably pretty good for an independent movie which no studio initially wanted to take up, but it still falls short of being a truly great movie.

My best guess - this is a movie which critics seem to like more than people themselves. This is not to deny it's appeal among a few movie goers, but it still seems to be too hyped up.

Thanks for participating in my ..ahem.. survey :-)

David said...

Ann Althouse, thanks for watching this so I don't have to.

"It's such a drag. I hate all the shots of actresses faces — all that admiration."

Admiration? Well they are actresses.

Tibore said...

"My best guess - this is a movie which critics seem to like more than people themselves."

Yes, this happens all the time. Look at Malick's "The Thin Red Line" for an example of such. That film even got an Oscar nom. Blech...

Beth said...

Hi Beth (commenting at 8:34) - good idea.

Now, how do avoid confusing Beth with Beth?

I hope Slumdog wins for the soundtrack. Loved the music.

Tibore said...

Let's watch Cameron Diaz channel Goldie Hawn onstage!

Tibore said...

Ok, Kate... now exclaim how they like you, they really, really like you...

Tibore said...

Liveblog roundup:

Cinematical.com:
10:31pm -- Best Picture, Comedy or Musical goes to... Vicky Cristina Barcelona. The HFPA: putting the "Foreign" in "Hollywood Foreign Press Assocation" for the past two minutes or so.

10:29pm -- What is Sacha Baron Cohen doing with Lionel Richie's hair?


MTV:

9:58 pm: Let’s hear it for Steven Spielberg removing all the lesbian stuff out of “The Color Purple!”

9:59 pm: Not surprisingly, “1941″ is not represented in this montage.

10:22 pm: Things that are shorter than Colin Farrell’s acceptance speech: “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button,” “Che,” Operation Iraqi Freedom.


Time.com:
10:05 p.m. - James Poniewozik: Spielberg's Lionel set anecdote: it's a brave man who will liken his filmmaking process to a trainwreck.


Film.com:

9:56pm: Little known fact: Cecil B. Demille NEVER WON the Cecil B. Demille award. I know. Shocking, right?

10:18pm: Sandra Bullock is alive and well! Somebody call off the search.

... Sacha Baron Cohen presents for Best Comedy or Musical. He's also solid this evening, joining Tracy Morgan and Ricky Gervais. It's almost as if comedians are exactly what the show needs. Hmmm......

Nagarajan said...

"I can understand your puzzlement if you know of lots of great movies that this looks like. On the bright side, it will make non-Indians more likely to see those films.

Why don't you give me a list of films: Movies you'll really love if you loved "Slumdog Millionaire."

Ann, sorry, but I dont think SDM is all that great to begin with :-)

I am afraid i am the wrong person to recommend Bollywood movies. I hardly watch them. Heck, I understand very little Hindi in to watch them in the first place :-)

But Bollywood movies that i have watched are almost always formulaic, and these "rags to riches" stories have been around for quite some time now.

If you want to watch good and authentic Bollywood flicks, i'd say you will have to go back to the 70's and the 80's. I'd definitely recommend Amitabh Bachchan movies - he is the same demigod that the poor child in the movie seeks to so desperately get an autograph from - wading through all that...you know :-)

IMDB should probably have Amitabh Bachchan listed - the two biggest stars of the 90's Aamir Khan and Shah Rukh Khan should also be there if you are really curious.

But for a realistic portrayal of Bombay's slums, you should probably watch Salaam Bombay from Mira Nair - you may find it a little too depressing, unfortunately.

Slumdog definitely has this feel good factor - so maybe that attracts people to it. And of course the whole game show thingie makes it exciting as well.

As far as movie critics go, I think they feel that they are being treated to some authenticity that they would otherwise not have access to. And may be they are right.

jeff said...

"Drew Barrymore's gotten prettier over the years."

Yeah, well. She pretty much had to.

Tibore said...

Oh, dear God... Mickey Rourke: Dressed like a cross between a Harley Davidson rider and Liberace.

SteveR said...

Hi, Beth from NO. I just assumed it was you because it was a smart comment. Perhaps you need to change your name to BethNOLA or something. Just so we can tell.:)

Nagarajan said...

Ann,
I almost forgot that you teach at WisMad - Indian students on campus would probably do a better job of recommending movies that you may want to watch if you liked SDM.

Tibore said...

Nah, take that back. It's nowhere near flamboyant enough to compare to Liberace.

I think it's actually growing on me. For the Oscar's, you expect all black tie, but for the Globes - a more laid back ceremony - it's all right to see more laid back outfits. I'm beginning to like it.

Tibore said...

SDM wins... anyone think it's going to get an Oscar nom? I genuinely don't know if it deserves one since I haven't seen it, but again, buzz is as important in Hollywood as quality, if not more so. And SDM's got buzz now.

--------

That's it for tonight. G'Nite everybody!

Palladian said...

"Mighty manly of a teacher-salami smoker to say so, Palladian. Any cocksucking scandals in your pederast past?"

Did everyone know that when Cedarford was an officer he exchanged U.S. military secrets to the Russian Federation for an experimental surgery implanting monkey glands in a desperate attempt to cure his partial impotence and premature ejaculation problems?

And that he secretly places ads in the back pages of several alt-weeklies seeking a Chassidic man to read Hebrew to him while he sucks his "kosher schlong".

And that he also likes to give blowjobs to black gangbangers through the eyehole of a Klan hood?

And that he hires transvestites to wear Milton Friedman masks and beat him with socks filled with rolls of quarters while he whimpers "Punish my pasty little collectivist ass! I'm a cock-sucking piece of Paleocon shit! Beat me with that inflated coinage! I'm your serf! I'm your serf!"

All true!

mcg said...

(And now, I can put the "law" tag on this post.)

Is this post now tax deductible? Can this post now be paid for with restricted funds? :-)

Anal T. House said...

That sounds nice until you think about it for about 2 seconds.

Kinda like the political analysis on this blog!!

TitusTheBoyWithTheThornInHisSide said...

Hi Everyone,

I was in Vermont this weekend. It was beautiful. The Green Mountain air is so wonderful. Stowe is absolutely fabulous. It is a must see if you haven't been there yet.

I go to Vermont a couple of times of the year. I appreciate it's beauty. Not many gays but you can't swing a maple syrup bottle without hitting a lesbian.

I can't watch awards programs. I do have a faint interest in how some of the women are dressed.

I too don't like Bollywood movies, or at least the ones I have seen. I found them too glitzy and colorful and the dance numbers awful.

This weekend I saw the movie Sisters with Margot Kider at my out of the way B&B. Loved it. The rare clumbers are juvenated as well. They seem to be able to pinch their loaves much easier in the forests than on the streets.

TitusTheBoyWithTheThornInHisSide said...

I thought Slum was ok. No great shakes. I don't see what the big deal is about the movie. I am very particular about movies though. There are very few movies I like.

Lem said...

Althouse as refuge!

It's about time.

Christopher Althouse Cohen said...

I finally finished watching it on the West Coast. Hurray for Kate Winslet! Has this ever happened before? I hope she wins two Oscars!

Christopher Althouse Cohen said...

Did anyone notice the ecstatic, anxiety-free look on Anne Hathaway's face when they were listing the nominees in her category? She really looked as if she knew she would win.

No real surprise, given her history of gullibility.

Glen said...

"The composer thanks the "billion people from India."

India has 1.14 billion people. This unmentioned decimal represents a population equivalent to or greater than every other country in the world save China, (India itself), and the United States.

Original George said...

What about the British comedian who made the wretched Holocaust jokes? Why no reaction shots from Spielberg? Does this mean in 60 years I'll have to listen to tasteless 9/11 jokes?

Why did all the men have moussed hair?

Does Sting now live in a gutter? And isn't Sigourney Weaver holding up well?

Is it still true that there are only about 10 people in the Hollywood foreign press corps and they're the only ones who vote and wasn't the show just a 3-hour publicity stunt?

Was Bruce Springsteen wearing a corset or some other gadget? He was walking very stiffly, wasn't he?

Is Sally Hawkins' career over-before-it-began after her ghastly speech, and why did she keep thanking Jack Lemmon?

Should Anna Paquin see Lauren Hutton about her gap-tooth problem?

How much did the producer of the new 'Star Trek' movie pay the Golden Globes to have his dandy boys puff their flick?

Is it true that our Kate's celebrity makeup artist opted for a classic red lip and finished her look with Avon-brand Pro-to-Go Lipstick in Cherry Glisten?

Does 'Slumdog's' victory mean it will go wide in Nebraska?

Will anyone now please watch "Mad Men"? Why are no reruns scheduled this month to honor January Jones?

Was the paper bag Clint Eastwood clutched really stuffed with live baby ducks, and, if so, during the show, how many did he insert between his lips?

Is there anything more vapid than the red-carpet questions asked of the waxy celebrities and their answers?

Can you remember a single commercial you saw during the program?

onparkstreet said...

Nagarajan - I saw Slumdog, twice, with my Indian parents. They really enjoyed the film.

I think it isn't about authenticity so much as it is about myth - who doesn't love fable and the hero who perseveres? It's a Brit-Indian fusion product and it doesn't surprise me that it might appeal primarily to a western audience.

Another thing I've noted is that the people who like this film, really, really like it. As in, seeing it more than once.

For a lot of people, the music, the technical aspect of the film, and the 'top-down' look at a vibrant culture is intoxicating, or so it seems from favorable reviews of the movie :)

I agree, Salaam Bombay is amazing, but this film is a different beast. One film is reality as, unfortunately, it *is*, and the other more of a wishful thinking. I see no problem with either in film-making. Tastes vary, though, that's the thing!

onparkstreet said...

Okay, I didn't mean top-down, I meant top to bottom.

Jody said...

Ann,
Loved your commentary & your affection for 'Slumdog'.

Commenter Nagarajan said: But for a realistic portrayal of Bombay's slums, you should probably watch Salaam Bombay from Mira Nair - you may find it a little too depressing, unfortunately.

True enough. But 'Slumdog' "is" 'Salaam Bombay' cunningly rendered as a 'Chicago'-style dream sequence, surely?

As a movie goer who doesn't know much about Bollywood, I feel free to embrace both films for their different, but complementary, genuis.

Jody Tresidder

MrBuddwing said...

Slumdog Millionaire: I'm glad I saw it, I did enjoy it, but I was struck by its dramatic sleight of hand. I don't mean to spoil the movie for anyone ...

[POTENTIAL SPOILER BELOW]

... so let me just say that it's the time-shifting flashback structure that makes the story seem more compelling than it really is, IMHO. Put another way: If the film had outlined Jamal's life story first, then put him in the Hot Seat on "Millionaire," I don't think the audience would have enjoyed it at all - I think the audience would have been groaning in disbelief.

Kevin said...

I love Tom cruise and with black goggles he looks so great. I love to watch this award ceremony from my home Office.