December 26, 2008

"Whatever it takes to make friends and influence people -- whether it's building a school or handing out Viagra."

The United States is so creative.

19 comments:

Ron said...

Ah, but it's the special Viagra that gives them the 4 hour+ erection...and makes them a target for laser-guided munitions dropped by UAV's! Fired by Jason Bourne.

It's America's anti-schwing systematic defense against ICBM's (Islamic Connubial Boner Mullahs)

We track them using the Networked, Integrated, Navigation, Communication, Orientation and Management Program for Objectively Onanist Personnel, or NINCOMPOOP.

Comments also published at Amba's!
Egad, double dipping the comments section!

Chip Ahoy said...

... a gap between people living in the 18th century ...

Generous, by eleven centuries.

Maguro said...

Not a good time to be a goat in Afghanistan.

Eli Blake said...

Ain't the Bush administration grand?

They will spend my tax dollars to build new schools in Afghanistan and Iraq while my kids elementary school had to put buckets in the hall a couple of years ago to catch rain leaking from holes in the roof.

They help men in Afghanistan get their dinky up (well, I guess I can almost understand that, living in a place where all the women wear burqas) but they cut funding for medicaid payments to hospitals that treat five year old gunshot victims who get caught in a crossfire in inner city Detroit or homeless Americans who come in with pneumonia.

And if you are uninsured and get cancer, well if you want any help coping with the bills then the best advice I can give you is move to Afghanistan. Maybe even get captured in battle and sent to Gitmo, because we give all of the residents there free healthcare that's better than most Americans get. Or maybe just go rob a bank, because you will get better health care if you go to prison than you will if you are an uninsured American who isn't a criminal.

Eli Blake said...

The best way to treat impotence in Afghanistan: ban burqas.

Maguro said...

The best way to treat impotence in Afghanistan: ban burqas.

We're not trying to cure impotence in Afghanistan, we're trying to bribe informants and tribal chieftains. I assume that if this practice is as effective as the article indicates, it will continue under the Obama administration.

Matt Eckert said...

Hey Eli if the teachers union didn't take all the money for child molesting drunken idiots then that have tenure you would have a roof on the school.

Matt Eckert said...

Hey anything Bush did is bad, anything Obama does is great.

Whats so hard to understand?

Pastafarian said...

Eli -- I suppose that you'd prefer rules of engagement that require us to kill everything that moves, rather than try to bring a few of the locals over to our side.

Apparently, your cohorts in the media feel the same way, since they decided to out this covert program.

Probably because it was too effective.

Mark O said...

I love the juxtaposition of this post with the "Merry Christmas, We're Screwed" post. At least it will be, well, effective.

So few give the twin Christmas gifts of Viagra and Percocet.

dbp said...

I detect a pattern in these posts: First, "Merry Christmas, we're screwed". Then, hot on its heals a post on how we are helping the women of Afghanistan to get screwed...

I loved this quote from the original story,

"Afghan tribal leaders often had four wives -- the maximum number allowed by the Koran -- and aging village patriarchs were easily sold on the utility of a pill that could "put them back in an authoritative position," the official said.""

dbp said...

Damn, Mark O! Beat me to it by a few minutes.

Oh well, if more than one person noticed it, it must be real.

Original George said...

Make Love, Not War.

Mark O said...

dbp, you were doing my math project for me, that's the reason. Why wouldn't Althouse count herself? Were there other women she didn't notice? Does the Christmas screwing with Viagra have more meaning than we know? Is it longing or regret? If it's longing, how long is that longing?

Call Dr. Gustafson.

Original George said...

If we're using Viagra in Afghanistan, then we need to put saltpetre in the water in Pakistan and India.

Pakistan is believed to have a first-strike nuclear doctrine, as it is significantly outnumbered by India's conventional forces. It can deliver as many as 90 nuclear weapons via land-based and submarine launched ballistic missiles and fighter aircraft.

Michael_H said...

*sets timer*

Just want to know how long it will take before the NYT equates dispensing Viagra to waterboarding and calls for the end of the practice as it violates the Geneva Convention.

Eli - sorry to inform you, but the Bush administration is not responsible for repairing the roof on your local school. You are, via the property taxes you pay. Your bitching should be directed to your local school board members.

The Drill SGT said...

Eli -- I suppose that you'd prefer rules of engagement that require us to kill everything that moves, rather than try to bring a few of the locals over to our side.

I think it's a great program. In Nam we used a somewhat more primitive program called MEDCAP to go treat villagers ills.

Winning er, "hearts" and minds is critical to the success of a counter-insurgency.

The Drill SGT said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Drill SGT said...

Eli - sorry to inform you, but the Bush administration is not responsible for repairing the roof on your local school. You are, via the property taxes you pay. Your bitching should be directed to your local school board members.

Likely your local school board filled with liberals spent the money on a very generous teacher retirement plan.

no sh_t.

My family is full of teachers. My brother is a Union official. I was back in Calfornia (you know the state that is now bankrupt) last spring for a wedding and saw one of the flyers for providing free health care plan for retired teachers. The argument was that the school district had a bit of surlus money left over and it was going to waste and ought to be spent on retiree healthcare.

DBQ: FYI: Kern County. e.g Bakersfield