December 13, 2008

If a burglar breaks into your house and even enters your sleeping child's room...

... I suppose you should be relieved that all he does is give the boy four quarters and a dollar to "go buy some soda"... and then steal your car, your Christmas presents, and your daughter's wheelchair.

18 comments:

reader_iam said...

Wait. The husband's a security guard? Who sleeps through someone entering his bedroom?

Please, at least don't tell me he was WEARING the pants from which the thief nicked the wallet and car keys.

reader_iam said...

Man. I am SO envious of deep sleepers, being both a restless sleeper and frequent insomniac. The dog sighs in my kid's bedroom and I wake up, for pete's sake.

reader_iam said...

Unanswered question: Did the kid actually leave the house and go buy a soda? If so, where did he go to get it? And what was he wearing?

al said...

My dog rolls over and I wake up. I hear my kids walk down the hall at 1:00am. Deep sleep only happens when I'm camping.

OTOH it would have been nice if dad had woken up and put a bullet or two in the thief while he was in the sons room.

EDH said...

Isn't this essentially the plot from the Grinch Who Stole Christmas?

Did he have a small dog pulling his get-a-way car?

What about the last can of Who Hash?

Darcy said...

Whoa. Relieved, indeed.

This is something that was such a fear of mine, for so long...having someone enter the house while we were sleeping. And like you, reader, I'd wake at the smallest sounds when my boy was younger.

Somehow, along the way, I lost a lot of that fear, though. It could be because, at 15, he's a lot bigger than me now.

EDH said...

Certainly seems to have the same method of operation as The Grinch!

jdeeripper said...

f.a.k.e.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

He took the wheel chair because they didn't have a wheel barrow.

Susan said...

Deep sleep only happens when I'm camping.

Camping? Like sleeping outdoors surrounded by critters large and small? Boy, if anything could keep me awake all night it would be camping.

Expat(ish) said...

I stopped sleeping deeply when my first child came home from the hospital. My wife, funnily enough, started. Jack Sprat and all that.

Interesting question - would you shoot someone *in* your child's room or what?

-XC

al said...

Like sleeping outdoors surrounded by critters large and small?

Yep. The only time I didn't was when a bull frog decided to hang out by my tent and try and talk. Yap yap yap.

al said...

Interesting question - would you shoot someone *in* your child's room or what?

If I felt the safety of my child was threatened - absolutely yes.

Freeman Hunt said...

I stopped sleeping deeply when my first child came home from the hospital.

Same here.

We recently had two burglaries in the neighborhood. While my husband was out of town on a business trip, I posted signs on both back doors that read:

NOTICE TO THIEVES
-------------------------------

Intruders will be shot. I load my shotgun with buckshot, and I have excellent aim.

This house contains nothing of significant value.

By entering this house, you are risking your life, and you are doing so for nothing. Please, think twice.


I'm sure that getting robbed is awful, but I was much more disturbed by the idea of someone being in the house while my son and I were asleep.

TheCrankyProfessor said...

Arm minors!

Jennifer said...

Talk about creepy. I'm sure one would be relieved. But would one ever get over the knowledge that someone was in their house interacting with their children while they were sleeping?

I count on my dog to wake up and react. One little "Mommy?" and I'm awake. Any other sound does nothing.

Freeman Hunt said...

But would one ever get over the knowledge that someone was in their house interacting with their children while they were sleeping?


Good point. I think I'd have to move.

Eric said...

A soda? Jeez, you try and you try as a parent to give your child healthy eating habits...