There's a mosquito on that guy's shirt.
If he was cuter, you would help him.
Now, I'm mourning once again not only for the Mont Blanc pen that died of fountain india, but the Pelikan pen that I used in law school to take all my notes and write all my exams. I am utterly sure that I would not have done so well without it and that it therefore determined the whole course of my adult life. You can see the beloved Pelikan in my hand here.
And what of that mosquito? Had it landed on a more attractive man, everything would have been different.
There are many pens and many mosquitoes. Most are just another pen or just another insect. But some!
IN THE COMMENTS: Trooper York discovers the theme of the day, and it inspires hysterical laughter.