June 6, 2008

I apologize to the flies... and taunt bees.

Okay, okay, I get it. The "cute bee" is not a bee at all. It's a hoverfly. So flies can be cute, and it's not proved at all that bees are cute. They are ruthless killing machines. They are the devil. They are naughty. I get it! I apologize to the flies.

And when a bee dies? (Be aware — bee, aware — that there are a couple flashes of naked bottoms in this hilarious Ricky Gervais clip with Karl Pilkington talking about a dead bee.)



I think I could write a good childrens book called "I Apologize to the Flies" if you would just help me figure out an equivalent rhyme for about 20 other insects.

51 comments:

wgh said...

If you go down to Willow Farm
to look for butterflies
gutterflies
flutterbyes

Ann Althouse said...

Thanks, but my requirement of an "equivalent rhyme" is rigid. It should be one sentence that begins with "I" followed by a verb that rhymes with the name of the insect and ends with the name of the insect. And very few words in between.

Ron said...

I failed to please the bumblebees!

Bissage said...

I focused on the locust!

wgh said...

I think Doug ate a sting bug.

wgh said...

Oops.. stink bug =)

AllenS said...

I think it all started with this:

"Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee."

AllenS said...
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AllenS said...

Italian:

"I'ma likea you pupa."

bearbee said...

I debugs bedbugs.

I hugs ladybugs.

Sisyphus said...

The caterpillar is a thriller.

Or

The caterpillar is just filler [picture of caterpillar in a happy, cute bird's mouth].

Bissage said...

I needle the Japanese beetle!

Ann Althouse said...

I wheedle things from a beetle.

AllenS said...

I have ants in my pants.

Bissage said...

I spy the blue-tail fly!

Was that taking poetic license or just plain cheating?

Well, Jimmy crack corn, and I don't care!

Cedarford said...

You are what you eat.

Bees start off as happy little grubs safe in wax honeycombs eating wonderful pollen and nectar from flowers.

Flies start off as writhing maggots eating turds and rotting flesh.

bees=good (except killer bees)
flies=disgusting

Whereas, by my logic, people should stop eating delicious lobsters and other scavangers of rotting animal matter like king crabs and crawfish.

(There's a little bit of lost Alaskan Bering Sea fishermen and sailors in every bite of king crab you eat, or their forebearers...Everytime a good cyclone or Tsunami sends tens or 100s of thousands of bloated dead people and dead livestock out to the Indian Ocean, the crab catch next year is excellent.)

Jeremy said...

I reproach the cockroach.

vbspurs said...

List of official US States insects

(Americans are too wonderful!)

Guess what? Wisconsin's official insect is the European Honeybee!

Florida's the Zebra Longwing Butterfly. I've seen them many times without ever knowing its name. Vladimir Nabokov would've been appalled at me.

Oh, yeah, the rhyme, let's see.

"I, Titus, the mantis"

I'll work on it.

Cheers,
Victoria

AllenS said...

I plea to the flea, don't bite me.

Wurly said...
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Zachary Paul Sire said...

While they might not give you rabies, it's best to stay away from scabies.

Wurly said...
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Wurly said...
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Zachary Paul Sire said...

Oh, and in case there was any doubt about the danger of bees, everyone needs to watch this.

And don't laugh while you're watching it! It's terrifying.

Wurly said...
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Jennifer said...

I am innocent. Katydid it.

bearbee said...

I despise flies.

I tease fleas

I appease bees

Wriiight said...

Trade pleasantries with flees and bees.

complain, I shant, around an ant

I shall not spat with any gnat

Good night I'll wish to the silverfish

warmly approach a nice cockroach

But stay incognito around a mosquito

vbspurs said...

"I shall not spat with any gnat"
"But stay incognito around a mosquito"


LOL! *applause*

Palladian said...

Jesus it's like being in a room full of Noël Cowards.

Palladian said...

Off-topic, but this is scary. It's like going to Wal-Mart and finding the building shuttered and abandoned.

vbspurs said...
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vbspurs said...

Off-topic, but this is scary.

I fought back, a DNS attack.

Bissage said...

I flick a crawling tick!

Palladian said...
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Palladian said...

Amazon doesn't get shut down by DNS attacks! I've never seen it down before!

Anyway, for posterity.

vbspurs said...

Palladian, I love your monitor wallpaper!!

I'm totally serious, where did you get it?

(My God, you ARE gay, though)

Palladian said...

There's nothing gay about appreciating beauty, my dear.

And given your heritage I thought you might recognize it. It's the ceiling of David Garrick's 5 Royal Terrace in the Adelphi in London, designed by Robert Adam, now in the Victoria (ahem) & Albert Museum.

rcocean said...

Don't be bossed by a Wasp

Don't go into debt with a Hornet

There's no fee with a bee.

Henry said...

I froth the moth.
ticket the cricket
slip on the thrip

MadisonMan said...

I'm contrite towards the mite

people should stop eating delicious lobsters and other scavangers of rotting animal matter like king crabs and crawfish.

One of my favorite scenes in Have His Carcase by Dorothy L. Sayers has all the hotel managers at a seaside resort telling the chefs to take crab off the menu for two weeks after a coroner's inquest for a man whose face had been disfigured by various sea crustaceans.

ricpic said...

Guy Praying Mantises
That make passes at
Gal Praying Mantises,
With or without glasses,
Take BIG chances.

Mr. Forward said...

I preach to the leech.

Mr. Forward said...

I got tipsy with the moth, Gypsy.

Mr. Forward said...

I had to snore, she was an ash borer.

Mr. Forward said...

I mite.

Zachary Paul Sire said...

Sort of off-topic...I just wrote a very important post, here, about bees...which was inspired by Ann's post yesterday, of course.

blake said...

A stumper.

I believell the weevil.
I explider the spider.
I prayphid the aphid.

Dr. Seuss knew that it was best to make up nouns for rhyming purposes.

I pummel and kick at the camel cricket.

I'd stop and flop for a lepidoptera.

I'd give first aid to a cicada.

I've planted a mantid.

I dig an earwig.

I'd never fail a bristletail.

I complain about the red Vulcain.

I despise the betrayals of the common swallowtails.

I'd park with a monarch.

(OK, I'm heavy on the butterflies.)

vbspurs said...

There's nothing gay about appreciating beauty, my dear.

There is not indeed! But there is perhaps in speaking about it without shame.

And given your heritage I thought you might recognize it. It's the ceiling of David Garrick's 5 Royal Terrace in the Adelphi in London, designed by Robert Adam, now in the Victoria (ahem) & Albert Museum.

Palladian, I absolutely adore Robert Adam fireplaces. Excellent taste!

But I confess, and as a Historian this makes me wilt in shame, I really dislike the hodge-podge dotty quality of the V&A.

It makes me nervous somehow...

Cheers,
Victoria

Palladian said...

"I really dislike the hodge-podge dotty quality of the V&A."

Yes, but they have an absolutely marvelous collection. There's a few medieval pieces from the V&A collection here in New York at the Metropolitan Museum right now, loaned out since part of the V&A is getting a face-lift.

I like Adam quite a bit, although I do sometimes see Horace Walpole's point when he remarked after a visit to Carlton House: "How sick one shall be, after this chaste palace, of Mr Adam's gingerbread and sippets of embroidery."

Palladian said...
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