December 16, 2007

"Hryhoriy put his long life down to the fact he never married."

The world's oldest man dies.
In accordance with his wish that there should be no crying, a hearty meal was served of his favourite dishes: warm potato and herring, and cabbage with home-made sausage....

Oksana, one of the relations with whom he lived, said he had led an active life to the last, helping around the house, whether it was making dumplings or tending the chickens....

"He didn't find himself a mate because he was a short man and never had money," Oksana believes.

ADDED: Commenter ricpic writes another poem (and wins the title — it's been fought over you know! — of Poet Laureate of the Althouse Blog):
The commies came, the commies went,
Hryhoriy hardly noticed;
Earthbound, barefoot, his life was spent
Sausage, not Stalin, focused.

16 comments:

dmfoiemjsof said...

No doubt that's why he lived so long.

rishigajria said...

Damn! Im gonna live too long :(

Robert said...

Why do married men die younger than single men?

They want to.

Ron said...

Broke? Check!
Short? Check!
and fat too?

Hellfire, I'll live to see Obama's grandkid become President!

If I wear shorts on my 120th birthday, Prof. Althouse's 3rd clone twice removed will negatively blog about it!

Chip Ahoy said...

"He didn't find himself a mate because he was a short man and never had money," Oksana believes. "Well, that and being the only gay in town."

Chip Ahoy said...

I meant to say, "RIP."

rhhardin said...

There's chickens out back right this instant, crowing to keep warm. I'll probably live forever.

George said...

"He loved to get outside and would run barefoot through the grass."

Life is good.

EnigmatiCore said...

The world's oldest man, lives!

Greg Hlatky said...

Q: Why do husbands die before their wives?

A: They want to.

ricpic said...

The commies came, the commies went,
Hryhoriy hardly noticed;
Earthbound, barefoot, his life was spent
Herring, not belly lox, focused.

MadisonMan said...

I'd hate to be the world's oldest man. It seems like all they do is die.

ricpic said...

The commies came, the commies went,
Hryhoriy hardly noticed;
Earthbound, barefoot, his life was spent
Sausage, not Stalin, focused.

Michael_H said...

Mel Brooks died? Gosh!

Steven said...

The reason he lived so long was that he was a cousin of Mister Mxyzptlk -- he would only die if someone tricked him into saying his name backwards. It took this long. (In Mr. Mxyzptlk's case, of course, he didn't die, he simply returned to the fifth dimension, and stopped bothering Superman.)

Meade said...

Well done, ricpic. Especially enjoyed the revision.
---------------------------------------
"...he was a short man and never had money,"

That makes one out of two for me. I've got the no money thing working and I suppose it's not too late for me to take up moderate vodka drinking. I'm going to start grubbing for potatos and cabbage... catfish and squirrel sausage and I just may break the short old bachelor's record but it's hard to believe I'm not even halfway there.