August 10, 2007

"I've mostly stopped reading Ann Althouse, really."

TRex cannot stay out of the vortex... especially when it's baited with food.

And apparently, I give him "all-over creepy shivers, like someone just dumped a bag of live spiders over my naked thighs." I'm picturing chubby, pasty white thighs. No wonder he sympathizes with Bill Clinton so.

He riffs on what eggs mean to him. It's kind of wistful and sweet really. It sounds like the boy loves his mommy. Ooh, but not that way, no! He dips a little into homophobia territory... probably thinks it doesn't count when he does it. Oh, but it does! It does, T.

Oh, what the hell? Why not have a full-on flamewar? Ellen Goodman thinks we female bloggers aren't sufficiently warlike. And, anyway, I'm not afraid of the doughy little nerd. I faced him down in person. Check it out:

Bloggers

He's afraid to look. Compare how nice his co-blogger was.

Here, T! Here's some candy!

Candy hearts

Come on. Take some of my candy!!

Devil Girl candy bars

Don't be a baby! Fall into the vortex!

Baby and candy

IN THE COMMENTS: Joan writes:
The comments section over there is bizarre.

What an odd post. Why the excessive use of exclamation points and question marks? The speculation that Ann is a repressed lesbian is just bizarre, and also, obviously wrong. Ann is grossed out by eating egg salad, you moron! The idea of consuming the "female" symbol (as you've identified it) is abhorrent to her. If anything, that should prove that she's as hetero as they come.

As for the egg being a symbol for the female, I don't know where he got that one. I've always heard that eggs symbolize life, rebirth, springtime. I've never heard before that eggs are the symbol for the female, as if the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth is strictly feminine, or under the control of females.

Wait -- did TRex make this association because they're sort of round, like onion rings, completely ignoring centuries of tradition as to what eggs really symbolize? Sheesh.
Teach that boy some Spanish, starting with huevos.

MORE FROM THE COMMENTS: Christy writes, quite aptly:
I thought his posting was funny. Even funnier is realizing he gets Althouse, but doesn't recognize it. He thinks the Fellini reference an insult? Am I wrong that part of the appeal here is blog-as-performance-art?

Boring comments, though. Althouse wins as a blog salon. The mantle of Madame de Stael rests lightly on her shoulders.
ADDED: The new vlog is -- once you get into it a ways -- about the TRex attack.

UPDATE: TRex falls into the vortex, and I respond here.

46 comments:

Ruth Anne Adams said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Roger said...

Good Lord--Professor A: I am sorry I ever accused you of overanalyzing anything--This guy would keep a battalion of shrinks occupied for years!

Meade said...

Come on now. Does he really deserve the honor of The Vortex?

Ann Althouse said...
Actually, the light was bad, so all the pictures with smiling were blurred. This was therefore the best of the pictures, though John was smiling in all the others. As for TRex, he's interesting to photograph. The fact that he expends energy hating me is his burden, of course. I've never spent any time thinking about him and don't intend to start now.

8:09 PM

Jeremy said...

TRex is unintentionally hilarious. And your post is awesome.

AJ Lynch said...

Ann:
Keep ripping this dipshit wannabe intellectual and girly man. You must be a painful burr in his soft skin.

And btw, you look great in those pics at that conference.

Have a good weekend.

Ann Althouse said...

"I've never spent any time thinking about him and don't intend to start now."

Yeah, well, I intend to start now!

Joan said...

The comments section over there is bizarre.

What an odd post. Why the excessive use of exclamation points and question marks? The speculation that Ann is a repressed lesbian is just bizarre, and also, obviously wrong. Ann is grossed out by eating egg salad, you moron! The idea of consuming the "female" symbol (as you've identified it) is abhorrent to her. If anything, that should prove that she's as hetero as they come.

As for the egg being a symbol for the female, I don't know where he got that one. I've always heard that eggs symbolize life, rebirth, springtime. I've never heard before that eggs are the symbol for the female, as if the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth is strictly feminine, or under the control of females.

Wait -- did TRex make this association because they're sort of round, like onion rings, completely ignoring centuries of tradition as to what eggs really symbolize? Sheesh.

SteveR said...

"I've mostly stopped reading Ann Althouse, really."

Do us a favor and replace "mostly" with entirely. I hate to see someone being so pathetic, really.

MadisonMan said...

What's the book at the bottom of the pile with the Devil Girl chocolate bar? Did anyone ever guess and win the contest so many moons ago?

Ann Althouse said...

Madison Man, it's this.

Meade said...

"Yeah, well, I intend to start now!"

Alright then. (I mean... now.)

I'm willing to donate $200 if I get to watch a YouTube clip of Althouse washing his face with Bamaboy-style egg salad. (Which, according to TRex's own sexual orientation calculus, might help him to determine for himself what his orientation really is. Here, I'll give him a free hint - Grown men who refer to women's breasts as "boobies" tend to have the sexual orientation best labeled "infantile.")

rcocean said...

LoL.

Sad Althouse,that you spent all those years as just a Con Law prof.

TRex. How could someone so obviously Gay, be so homophobic?

"Spiders on my thighs"? I mean, can TRex get anymore Gay?

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

MadisonMan said...

I was asking about the book underneath My Most Secret Desire.

Jeremy said...

You really didn't need to add that edit, Ann. The thought of you symbolically mushing up a pair of testicles, mixing in some onion, etc, spreading it on some bread, and then eating it in great big bites washed down with red wine, is disturbing. Not "spiders on the thighs" disturbing, but disturbing nonetheless.

I find Bill Clinton and the onion rings far more appealing now. In fact, I need to get me some onion rings.

Meade said...

Sorry, Jeremy. You haven't heard? NO MORE ONION RINGS UNTIL 2017!

How 'bout a nice bowl of crunchy little carrot sticks?

Ann Althouse said...

Madison Man: The bottom corner is an issue of Palookaville, by Seth, but I'm thinking the top corner is a different comic, maybe Dan Clowes. I'm not where I can look now.

Simon said...

Well, in his comments section, Trex notes (comment #26) that he has "the countenance of a moldy carrot," and that seems a good rough description of both his skull and its contents. I mean, really - we're supposed to pay heed to what that idiot thinks?

He doesn't even do his research! What is the "??!!" assertion about the $200 bounty but a concession that he took no time to actually investigate the incident he's "reporting" - it's like writing a book review without having read it.

Ann Althouse said...

He's also trying to get his readers to pay him to eat something. Nobody's biting.

Meade said...

I'd donate a dollar to TRex letting his readers suckle his teats.

Titus4 said...

OK, I have a sublime new idea for a VLOG that borders on BRILLANT.

The theme of the piece/installation is two fold: one- the portrayal of the NYTimes of Midwest Farm Women and two- tits

In your next performance piece/installation you will be posing on all fours in a cornfield naked being milked by a farmer. The only thing you will do is MOO and chew your cud. The piece will be entitled "NYTIMES portrayal of midwestern farm women".

This will be an opportunity for us to get back at the NY Times who we hate and despise and who talk down to us and make us pose in corn fields.

No it won't play in NY but it will play in Peoria....Muncie, Lincoln, Superior, Topeka, Pierre, Jefferson City and many other 8th tier cities in this country and it will be huge.

Red Staters will have found their Angels in America and it will be this piece. Frequently during the performance piece you will need to lift your leg on the farmer to go peepee.

Do it girl, it will be amazing.

You will be in the Sears display window in Sioux Falls and the lines will be like the lines for David Blayne in NYC in his stupid ice cube.

Meade said...

... beginning with Titus4

Titus4 said...

You will be the new Laurie Anderson/Tony Kushner/Michael Bennett all rolled into one of Cedar Rapids with this new vlog-performance piece/installation of "NY Times portrayal of Midwestern Farm Wife".

If one of those Capote Cocktail fags from NYC trys to come out and review the piece we will bash it/him good!!!

No talking though just mooing and chewing your cud are allowed.

Christy said...

I thought his posting was funny. Even funnier is realizing he gets Althouse, but doesn't recognize it. He thinks the Fellini reference an insult? Am I wrong that part of the appeal here is blog-as-performance-art?

Boring comments, though. Althouse wins as a blog salon. The mantle of Madame de Stael rests lightly on her shoulders.

Jeff said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jeff said...

"And believe me, I met Jessica’s boobies at YearlyKos. Even I could see that if any force on earth could provoke a sudden and debilitating attack of lesbianism, it would be they."

Really?
Sorry, I mean Really??!!??!!
Actually, instead of the Freudian analyzation of the egg, I would like to hear more about that. Or those.

I always thought I ate eggs cause they taste good. What does this say about scrambled eggs? Never mind, don't want to know.
Oh, and his comment section reads like a ICQ string on a sat night when all the cool kids are out.

Revenant said...

Amusingly enough, if you do a joint Google search on the strings "the egg" and "the sacred feminine", the first hit claiming that the former is a symbol of the latter is... Firedoglake.

Jeff said...

"No it won't play in NY but it will play in Peoria....Muncie, Lincoln, Superior, Topeka, Pierre, Jefferson City and many other 8th tier cities in this country and it will be huge.

Actually, this would be a big hit in NYC. In Peoria.....Muncie, Lincoln, Superior, Topeka, Pierre, Jefferson City and many other 8th tier cities have better things to do with their time. Granted, we would read about it and make a few remarks about those freaks in NYC, but then we would move on.

knoxwhirled said...

The ickiest thing in his post is seeing someone with obviously NO sense of humor trying to be funny. And the whole "I don't read that blog" thing is just LAME. It's like, "obviously you do, you boner, stop trying so hard to be cooler-than-thou"

Bissage said...

Mark your calendars. Today, August 10, 2007, at 1:11 pm, Althouse posted one of the greatest blog taunts in the history of the universe.

Hey, spider-thighs, you gonna let her get away with that?!

You seem to fancy yourself a parodist.

What are you waiting for?

Get it on, bang a gong, get it on!

(I invented that joke.)

P.S. Joan and everyone else, God bless you for reading those comments. I stopped at six or seven. Yak!

Fen said...

I'm surprised by the photo. From his commentary, I expected TRex to be an adolescent.

Anthony said...

If he gets that worked up about eggs, I wonder what he thinks about onion rings (or carrots).

>"The speculation that Ann is a repressed lesbian is just bizarre, and also, obviously wrong."

And what is the deal with "progressive" bloggers lately to assume anyone who posts something they dislike is a homosexual? (Not that there is anything wrong with that!)

I see this quite a bit.

mythusmage said...

Ann is a lot like a cat in one way, like the cat she doesn't like it when you make a big fuss over what she's going to eat.

You bring home this great new wet food for your cat. You make a big production about opening the can, dishing out the food, and presenting it to the cat. And what does the cat do? Walks away and studiously ignores you.

What are we seeing on this blog? We're seeing people making a huge fuss over Ann's ingestion of an egg salad sandwich. Althouse is having nothing to do with the dish. What do you do?

There's a clue in what cats do late at night, when they think everybody else is asleep. They go and eat the food they'd refused the day before. Cats will eat when you're not making a fuss about it. That's the secret, stop making such a fuss about Ann Althouse eating an egg salad sandwich, and she will eat an egg salad sandwich. Treat it as the most ordinary thing for a Madison WI law professor to do, and before you know it that egg salad sandwich will be consumed.

For our next miracle Ann Althouse will bath a cat. Preparatory blood donations now being taken.

Mister Snitch! said...

And apparently, I give him "all-over creepy shivers, like someone just dumped a bag of live spiders over my naked thighs."

He's just dipping your pigtails in the digital inkwell. Ask him if he wants to go steady.

pst314 said...

So these people at Firedoglake have an obsession with egg salad. How strange. Are they the crazier descendents of Shepherd Wong from What's Up Tiger Lily?

paul a'barge said...

TRex needs to speak to the hand ... oh right... the one he has perpetually in his pants.

Peter said...

Hhhmph. My mama taught me to eat egg salad sandwhiches some fifty-five+ years ago. All these years I thought it was because we had chickens so they were something we could afford.
Now I discover there was something sexual about it. What did Mom mean? And what about the biscuits and sausage gravy?
Oh noooo!

chris said...

A few questions:

1. Can I start a play called the Egg Salad Monologues without copyright infringement issues?

2. When did the reporter guy from the first Die Hard movie become a blogger?

3. Why is he starting a fight with Ann? Yippy ki ay m****r f****r.

Todd said...

I don't have anything to add here, I'm just enjoying the thread. Hi Ann.

peter hoh said...

The Egg Salad Monologues. Now we're talking. Really.

For the ultimate in naval gazing, I propose the Really Monologues, in which bloggers explain what they really mean when they add a really to the end of a sentence.

Titus5 said...

Althouse, thanks for not deleting my comments. As a native New Yorker I am glad your are coming here. You are a strong, brave woman that will add something to the city which is challenging because this city is full of opionins and jackasses and I believe you will fit in here very well.

I respect you madame althouse. You are a strong bitch, you will need to be to survive here. The bitches around here are evil and have seen everything-perhaps you will add something to their vocabulary.

You rock, bitch.

hdhouse said...

ahhhh the old egg-salad/lesbian litmus test...i'm having the neighborhood over for a cookout sunday...think i'll serve deviled eggs and see who eats what.

jagcap said...

Just a few questions...

Why does TRex talk like a "Valley Girl" (I so totally had to use those bitchin' scare quotes!)?

Why do his first 60-70 commenters primarily discuss which one of them commented first and how they could've commented first, except they were distracted? (Seriously, what the hell is that about?)

I like you, Ann... you're like Glenn... I read your stuff and feel like I'm listening to someone I don't agree with all the time, but you're reasonable and reasonably polite... then I read this other stuff and wonder who picked on this kid when he was little...

Ann Althouse said...

I don't know who picked on him when he was little, but I'm going to pick on him now.

Titus: You're welcome. You've been offensive, but you were always funny too. I know you love me.

Ruth Anne Adams said...

Insulting upwards never goes out of style.

Ryoushi said...

Osama are you listening? Where are you when we truly need you. See how a once proud people have turned into a vain bunch of navel gazers.

Give it to us baby!

J. said...

I couple of years back, while living in China, I saw a kid tie a string of firecrackers to the tail of a cat, light the fuse and release the cat onto a basketball court.

At the moment Trex kinda reminds me of that kid, but without the cruelty.