August 1, 2007

E! Online rumormongers about Laura Bush.

Ted Casablanca, "Gossip Guru and Writer of the Awful Truth," writes:
And as long as we’re on gals we all live for, let’s check in on that adorable Laura Bush, shall we? Now, I just gotta say I have a soft spot for the First Gal because she:

1. Has had to put up with Chief Schmuck for, like, eons now, and

2. Had the good sense—so my White House sources tell me (and, yes, I do have moles at 1600 Pennsylvania)—to remove herself from Bush’s company, as of late. Background: As I’ve said for months now, L.B. has been spending more and more time away from the White House, due to Bush’s resurrected drinking habits. The Hay-Adams is just one place Ms. B likes to hang away from official home.

But now, I'm hearing from down Tejas way that Laura-love is also avoiding their beloved Crawford ranch, as long as Dubya’s there.

“[The president] has been in residence three times over the past several months, and surprise, surprise, Mrs. Prez has not been with him on any of the visits,” sniffs Desk Horsey. This is most unusual, too, as, according to Desk H, Ms. Bush “adores the quiet life at the compound and usually the kiddos make an appearance as well.” But apparently not with the guy who’s anything but soft-spoken these days. L.B., you just biding your time till that party of yours gets another Republican in the Oval Office?

Girlfriend, I say cut your damn losses now. It’s your life. You don’t get another one, unless you’re Shirley MacLaine, or, apparently, Lindsay Lohan.
Eh. I have nothing to say about that. Just wanted you to know that's being said.

ADDED: Just yesterday, a NYT guest columnist referred to "Laura Bush’s increasingly beleaguered late-term demeanor." What does that even refer to?

26 comments:

Synova said...

I shop for groceries.

There's this thing in the check out lane called a tabloid.

It's got pictures on the front.

Palladian said...

Apparently women are a cypher upon which writers can project their opinions about the woman's husband's job performance

paul a'barge said...

Why would you provide a link when you print the entirety of the guy's statement?

And then end it with a one-liner about how you have nothing to say?

MadisonMan said...

Why does it matter if LB and GWB aren't constantly together?

Synova said...

And I can think of other reasons for the President's family to not be constantly in his pocket.

Presidents in fiction can pretty much be counted on to do it for security (safety) reasons.

SteveR said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SteveR said...

Next thing we'll see is LB on morning TV in a pink dress accusing a vast tabloid conspiracy of making up lies about her husband.

vet66 said...

Expect more of this type of false reporting as the news improves from Iraq.

It is a sure sign of desperation from the beleagured lefties who fear the surge is achieving positive results.

mikeski said...

I especially like the "resurrected drinking habits" part.

Not only has the President fallen off the wagon, but an additional message is telegraphed with "resurrected". Nice touch.

AllenS said...

I think it's time for Laura Bush to show some cleavage.

Bruce Hayden said...

I think it's time for Laura Bush to show some cleavage.

Actually, I think that would send exactly the wrong message. Let me suggest that that would send the message that Mrs. Bush is now looking around because her husband has done xxx (including falling off the wagon).

Of course, with Hillary, that is not an issue, since her husband has never really been on the wagon, when it comes to his biggest weakness, his sexual appetite. So, nothing to lose in that category. Besides, she isn't running as the prop this time, but rather, as the propped, so the rules are different.

Tim said...

Too funny. I'm sure Laura and George spend more quality time together (ahem) than do the Hillary! and Bill (although I'm equally sure Bill has more such quality time than the rest of them, with non-aligned third parties).

No links of course - just an informed assessment.

DaveG said...

Wow, we finally care about the health of the President's marriage. Look for this concern to probably only last until, say, early 2009.

Theo Boehm said...

How about something more Clintonian than drinking?

I believe Condi Rice once slipped and said something like, "My husb...er...the President...." Could GB's obvious fondness for the Secretary and possible emotional connection with her be the cause of Laura's distance? Has GB found a soulmate and source of emotional support, and that is driving Laura away?

Decency forbids further speculation. (How tabloid can we get here on the Althouse blog?)

John Stodder said...

From what I've been told, Ted Casablanca's scoops are generally all the same story: "XXXXX is secretly gay!" It's a pretty easy gig. Gossip-hounds love to think everyone is secretly gay, so they keep reading him. And, he's got at least some percentage of a chance of being right just by accident.

Assuming Laura Bush just despises W and his boozing ways, why wouldn't she just move to another part of the White House?

And if W was such a big boozer now, do you think this news would be "respectfully" censored by the NY Times and Washington Post?

EnigmatiCore said...

I am amazed that this thread did not generate a vortex. It seemed primed for one!

Galvanized said...

Ugh...I adore Laura Bush and think that she should be held above any kind of speculation.

Revenant said...

When does Bush have TIME to get drunk? He's in the public eye constantly.

Invisible Man said...

Some writer takes a potshot at Laura in a paper that I wouldn't use as toilet paper, and instead of defending her your commentors decide to ............... show how BAD Hillary and her marriage is. Everything doesn't necessarily relate to the Clinton's you know.

You rightwingers have a real sickness here. We just had a lecture yesterday from Simon on the nastiness of liberals, but maybe the right should take a look in the mirror like Brownback and see how irrational this hatred of the Clinton's has become.

blake said...

Rev,

I was gonna say, "When did Clinton have time to...you know..." but then I realized that probably takes a lot less time than getting drunk.

Palladian said...

"You rightwingers have a real sickness here."

Since when do you have to "hate" someone to criticize them? Is that how things work in Invisible-Land?

And I wish you tiresome trolls would stop assuming that everyone here is a "rightwinger". Why are you so into labels?

SteveR said...

Yeah Palladian, you're the archtypical rightwinger.

Who hates the Clintons? They are great fun and make for great hypocrisy alerts among their devoted Camelot followers.

AllenS said...

Bruce Hayden -- lighten up. I did not make that comment as a political calculation. Merely as humor, considering that there has been cleavage related news lately. Get it?

Anthony said...

Hey, if any Bush is going to show cleavage, let it be Barbara the Younger. Mrow.

Revenant said...

When did Clinton have time to...you know..." but then I realized that probably takes a lot less time than getting drunk.

The bigger deal is how long it takes to recover *after* you get drunk. Clinton just had to zip up and send Monica to brush her teeth. Sobering up takes a lot longer than that.

Modern Otter said...

My instinct has long been that the main cross Laura has to bear is her mother-in-law (who ought to be played by Doris Roberts when the TV movie comes out).