March 30, 2007

If I did sock puppets...

... as part of this little blogging-as-performance art project of mine, do you know which commenter here is most like the character I'd do?

42 comments:

Bissage said...

Boy, oh boy, Almond Joy! This’ll be great.

And here I was planning on getting some work done today. Yeeeee-haaa!

Palladian said...

OK, time to come out of the closet. It's me. I'm Ann Althouse. I really had you guys going, didn't I?

But in the end, it was the crisp writing that gave me away.

Palladian said...

Or to really mess with your minds further, maybe there is no Ann Althouse. Maybe Ann Althouse is me. I mean, have you ever actually met Ann Althouse?

Simon said...

Palladian - why do I get the feeling that this comment thread has a very high potential to turn into the finale of Spartacus? ;)

Bissage said...

If it turned out that Palladian and Althouse are one and the same, I’d like them both twice as much.

Paco Wové said...

Damn you, Simon, you blew my joke.

peter hoh said...

Althouse is actually a performance art creation written by Bill Clinton.

Bissage said...

Would someone please submit a song parody of "If I Were a Rich Man"?

I'd do it myself but I lack the talent.

If you do it, I'll pay you money.

(No, not really.)

Internet Ronin said...

I think it would have to be one of your more eloquent and reasoned detractors, otherwise the performance would lack sufficient tension to make it worthwhile.

Ann Althouse said...

Why do you assume my performance art would rely on reason?

Internet Ronin said...

Because the other kind quickly becomes tedious and would not sustain sufficient interest to make it worthwhile. ;-)

katiebakes said...

Maxine or Victoria.

Jacques Cuze said...

I think you would choose a remarkably intelligent critic, who you would use as a foil to demolish your arguments and help bring out the racism, elitism, and intellectual thuggery in conservatives that align with you because they think you are a conservative instead of a fiercely moderate moderate.

At times when people like Weiss or Cottage got close to the truth, you would ban the critic thus providing more cred to both of you.

We would both know the truth and snicker about it while drinking wine and watching our reality TV show on our Precious.

Ron said...

I think of Althouse as more concept than person -- sort of like The Great Pirate Roberts!

Bissage said...

He's baaaaack.

I am so very glad I've lived long enough to see this day!

Ruth Anne Adams said...

If y'all read the 'Blogging Well' thread, you'd know the answer is dave.

Zeb Quinn said...

Dave?

Icepick said...

I actually was thinking of Quxxo as a potential sock puppet for Ann. Also Doyle. That intensely self-important picture Doyle uses in his profile makes me think he HAS to be a parody....

XWL said...

I was thinking of an "I am Spartacus" moment, where all the commenters accuse themselves of being Prof. Althouse's sock puppet.

"I am Ann Althouse"

If so the blog "I" maintain (*wink, wink*), takes on a whole new light.

(though if I were Althouse herself, you'd think I'd be better at driving some of that sweet, sweet traffic my way)

AllenS said...

If there wasn't an Ann Althouse, we'd have to make one up.

By the way, anybody else having problems posting?

Simon said...

XWL - someone at Garance Franke-Ruta's blog actually accused me of being an Althouse sock puppet! LOL.

Ron - you mean the dread pirate Roberts. You know I went out as the Dread Judge Roberts that year for halloween, right? ;)

Icepick said...
"That intensely self-important picture Doyle uses in his profile makes me think he HAS to be a parody...."

He is. He may not be aware of it, though. I used to like Doyle, but I'm sick of his crap at this point.

Galvanized said...

I'm with katiebakes. Maxine should be a sock puppet. I love her comments. ;)

Christy said...

I vote for Maxine, too.

Ann Althouse said...

If I was lazy I'd be dave. It takes real effort to do Maxine. Not that I know!

TMink said...

Maxine. Except when she gets all anti-psychiatry.

Trey

XWL said...

It's all a lie, time to admit it, I'm not Althouse's sock puppet, she is MY sock puppet.

I know what you're thinking, 'she's a known law professor and we have documentary proof both video and audio that she's the same person as the UW prof.'

Sorry, logic like that doesn't work on the internet.

The real law professor known as Ann Althouse, barely is interested in computers, I took advantage of her lack of interest in the blogosphere and hired a doppelganger to impersonate the actual law professor.

It wasn't easy, but after years of casting, I found the right actress, and she's performed admirably.

The hard part was simulating Madison environs on her photo blogs and walkabout videos, but you'd be surprised what you can accomplish with a little budget and Hollywood know how.

Using CGI to edit out all those palm trees is a pain in the ass, though.

So when people chastise Althouse with the tired phrase, "you, a law professor", little do they realize that this Althouse isn't really that Althouse.

Vortex, indeed.

Justin said...

By the way, anybody else having problems posting?

You're having trouble posting because posting is not allowed on this blog. All commenters are sock puppets of Ann Althouse.

Fen said...

Not me. I actually get a paycheck.

Galvanized said...

*snort* lol Thanks for the chuckles today.

Freeman Hunt said...

I would guess Doyle.

Are you going to tell us which commenter here is most like the character you'd do?

bos0x said...

i think it's ploopusgirl from the internet!!!

bos0x said...

ooh, even better.. even more of a caricature... ..... ... sippican cottage!!!!!!

Ruth Anne Adams said...

Freeman Hunt: Congrats on the Free Baby! Missed you. Holy smokes, but grandfather sure looks young.

My 9:52 a.m. comment answered your question, as did the Blogstress at her 2:24 p.m. comment, but only if she were "lazy."

JimM47 said...

I am surprised no one has gone the joke spirituality route:

Free yourself from your false Althouse-NonAlthouse dualisms! We are all Althouse sockpupets and she is ours!

Omaha1 said...

If I were a sock-puppet, who would I be?
Such fun to be somebody other than me -
As Dave, I'd employ language safer for work
Reality Check, might not sound like a jerk

As tame as a kitten, I'd sign, "Peace, Maxine"
Make Sippican Cottage sound thoughtless and mean
hdhouse would support Bush's war in Iraq
Ruth Anne's memory would not reach so far back

My Cedarford might channel Sharpton, who knows?
My Naked Lunch, put on conservative clothes?
A vortex of chaos would quickly ensue
For now, to the Althouse name I will be true.

Paulina said...

Oh yeah, omaha, sippican cottage has never been thoughtless and mean before. He's not the beacon of pretentious, born in the wrong generation (hark the 1950s), judgmental asshole he comes off as everytime he types a single word here or on his own pretentious blog, no! And his eyes really aren't that far apart!

Simon said...

JimM47 said...
"Free yourself from your false Althouse-NonAlthouse dualisms! We are all Althouse sockpupets and she is ours!"

"We are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively ... We are the imagination of ourselves."

Omaha1 said...

Paulina, don't think I've encountered a Sippican-hater before. What a unique experience! Thanks!

Freder Frederson said...

It would be one of the meaner "trolls", perhaps even me. Because then Ann would continue to prove how unhinged the left is and how much they hate her and continue to deny her true liberalism.

Paulina said...

Omaha1 said...
Paulina, don't think I've encountered a Sippican-hater before. What a unique experience! Thanks!

Well, then he mustn't be as free from thoughtlessness and meanness as you claimed earlier! Moron!

Ruth Anne Adams said...

Ruth Anne's memory would not reach so far back

Omaha1: You mean I'd have Althouzheimers?

Freeman Hunt said...

Thank you, Ruth!

And the new grandfather will appreciate your comment. I'll have to pass it on.