February 25, 2006

"I didn't feel my inner peace, I didn't feel my aura."

The WaPo is giving out its own Olympic medals. Example:
Best Johnny Weir Quotes

Gold: "I never felt comfortable in this building. I didn't feel my inner peace, I didn't feel my aura. Inside I was black" (after finishing a disappointing fifth in men's figure skating).

Silver: "I could very likely wake up and feel horrible, like Nick Nolte's mug shot" (before skating his long program).

Bronze: "I dragged myself out of bed, had my Starbucks, put on my self-tanner and went from there" (after winning the national title last month).
Oh, and I love this one:
Things We Still Don't Understand

Gold: Curling rules.

Silver: New figure-skating scoring system.

Bronze: The Lenovo ThinkPad commercial.
Yeah, what's with that commercial? And, with all that time NBC spent on skating, they should have figured out a perfectly brilliant way to teach the new scoring system and make us care about it.

8 comments:

John(classic) said...

Having curled for several years I can assure you there are only two major rules from which all others are mere derivations:

1. Alwys be courteous
2. Always eat and drink afterwards

This makes it a very enjoyable sport.

AMB said...

I like John's rules.

I assumed figure skating was thus:

If you fall, you don't medal. That sorts most out.

I guess the rules are different.

If you are expected to get gold and you fall, you get silver. Everyone else is screwed.

PatCA said...

One announcer had a big chart of numbers and tried to explain the scoring of the medalists. It just made me dizzy.

Palladian said...

Gosh, that snippy, air-headed, arrogant little queen Weir is annoying. Please, go away and bleach and self-tan your aura back to a more peaceful color. Maybe by the time you finish that project you will have matured a little bit.

Curling is one of my favorite events, by the way. So beautifully esoteric.

Lori said...

Curling is a great sport! However it is much more fun to play than to watch. I suggest watching all curling matches from now on in "one arrow" tivo fast forward for maximum enjoyment/minimum boredom.

jeff said...

So, is Johnny Red going back to the USSR like his warmup jacket proclaimed? Good riddance.

As for the Lenovo ad, which one? I'd like to see how the virus recovery button works, and it's a cute illustration of how tough the case is in the other one.

John(classic) said...

Lori,

When I curled there was a rink of ladies, the youngest of whom was 60 and the oldest well into her 70's. They moved slowly, their stones moved slowly, they chit chatted --"I hope this new knee brace stays on", "What a handsome group of young men your rink is." --- and they were deadly, often gently nudging their way to victory.

But I am not sure if they were up to being shown at fast forward (grin).

LetMeSpellItOutForYou said...

Weir marked himself as an idiot the minute I heard him
start talking
in NBC's profile:

"I know that a lot of people, especially the more Republican-style people, are very afraid of what I mean to the sport. ... I'm not going to be the shiny, sparkly, flower-holding figure skater. ... My critics can eat it."

As a Republican, let me say I expect... no... demand that figure skaters be staunchly heterosexual. Otherwise, before you know it, we'll have to start worrying about choreographers!