August 22, 2005

My ex-mother-in-law just died.

I learned about it by reading my ex-husband's blog:
Her tranquility in mortal crisis was the starkest kind of contrast with her life, a life marred by needless psychological pain, no rest, no peace of mind. If only her passage through life had been as kindly attended as her passage out of it. If she had, for one day as a living person, been able to feel the calm she felt as a dying one.
And now my sons' last grandparent is gone.

"Kindly attended" refers to the hospice care.

13 comments:

vincentt said...

May peace be with you...

Jonathan said...

I'm sorry.

Ann Althouse said...

Thanks.

(And my son did try to call me on my cell phone, but I didn't hear it ring. Richard had the post up 15 minutes after he heard. We all knew she was about to die, so it was not a shock in any way. She was old and incurably ill.)

Freeman Hunt said...

Sorry for your loss.

Bruce Hayden said...

My condolences to you and yours.

KAWyle said...

My sympathies to you, your ex, and the families.

My brother died in early June, three months after being diagnosed with extensive stage small cell lung cancer. He had always been a troubled soul. His last months were more peaceful than his life as a whole. He told my mother at one point, "I don't have time to be neurotic"....

Mente Videbor said...

peace to you, your ex-husband, and your family.

Dirty Harry said...

I'm so sorry for your family and ex-husband's loss. I do love the lesson in his post though.

May she rest in peace.

John Althouse Cohen said...

Thanks, everyone, for your kind messages.

KAWyle: Sounds like a great motto.

Pastor_Jeff said...

My condolences to you, Ann, to your ex-husband, and especially to your sons. My last grandparent died a few years ago and I experienced a great sense of loss. I pray you will all have peace, hope and comfort in your grief.

vbspurs said...

Condolences to you, and especially to your children.

I have no grandparents left either, and I can tell you -- it hurts.

Not that you sounded upset, but don't sweat finding out about this sad passing via a blog.

I find it one of life's sweeter coincidences, and a just one at that, that one of the leading lights in blogging should be informed about this via a blog.

Blogs aren't media. They're more personal than that.

They're just an alternate place to call home.

Victoria

LDM said...

Alas! Death do'th become us all
that we could'st flee its pall
e'r to wear the mourner's shawl
'til shrouded sewn tightly with the grim reaper's awl
we see'th then pride goe'th before our fall
LDM

amba said...

At a time like this there's really no such thing as an "ex" . . . especially when your genes are intertwined in your progeny. So condolences are properly extended to you too.

My nieces and nephews, who range in age from something like 9 to 29, are all quite frightened of losing their grandparents on our side, who are pretty healthy but in their 80s. Maybe, among other things, it is especially true in our fast-changing (and commonly divorcing) times that grandparents, coming from a slower time, embody continuity and stability where there's awfully little of it.