"Live! makes ABC a lot of money but it’s nothing compared to money that can be make in prime time.... She seems livid. Ryan knew all along what was going on, but once again, everyone kept her in the dark."I'm glad to see that ABC is bringing back the Fox TV show "American Idol." Obviously, getting Ryan Seacrest — the one constant throughout the old series — was important, and it's interesting that he got the "Live!" job as part of a package deal. If Ripa was out of the loop and now feels betrayed and livid, she shouldn't let us see the pain. It just makes her look even weaker than she apparently was, and she's undercutting her own show and her network. But maybe this is part of a larger feminist issue about how the TV business is run — of a piece with all those complaints by women against Fox News that suddenly cascaded into the public view.
Showing posts with label Seacrest. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Seacrest. Show all posts
May 7, 2017
"It’s like Kelly [Ripa] has been betrayed all over again. Ryan [Seacrest] wasn’t her first choice, but she was convinced..."
"... by the [ABC] network that he would bring in a list guests and ratings.... Now she has found out that it is all about Idol and not really just about her!"
May 8, 2016
"So, awaiting final toxicology, it has now been reported in the New York Times that Prince was toxic. I can relate. I was toxic too."
Everyone's relating to Prince, including actress and children's book author Jamie Lee Curtis.
Meanwhile, "I Was Prince’s Private Chef":
Meanwhile, "I Was Prince’s Private Chef":
I cooked teriyaki salmon like I used to make for myself all the time (with that Soy Vey assist!) with grilled asparagus on the side, plus a hot-and-sour soup that I’d literally never made before and a coconut sorbet with fresh mango for dessert. It was terrifying.Literally.
The assistant had warned me that Prince eats like a bird, but he finished everything and asked for seconds.... A few days later I was en route to a wedding in Vegas when Prince’s assistant called and said, “You got the job but you can’t split it, he only wants you. You have to be on call 24-7. Oh and by the way – he’s nocturnal. And you start tonight. Ryan Seacrest is coming to dinner.”The pressure is unfathomable.
May 2, 2014
Ryan Seacrest's "shocking" Jeff Probst routine.
The night they made the "American Idol" contestant vote on whether to nullify the vote America went to all that trouble to phone in.
I found this "twist" really irritating. Don't incite the public to vote and then interpose a veto. The ordeal of watching all those performances is endurable only because you know somebody's getting the boot.
Caleb Johnson jumped right out in front of the group and proposed they unionize. Yes? Keep the group together?” he asked. Alex Preston seemed hesitant, and said either “no” or “I don’t know”...Well, they all had an interest in acting like they love each other, but Caleb grabbed the most credit for acting out that love. Did any or all of them worry that the truth of how each of them voted would come out, and that the discrepancy would be held against them? Perhaps they are even too honest to act as if they're voting "yes" when they are voting "no."
When they came back from commercial, Seacrest read the votes —which were cast anonymously — like Jeff Probst reading results at the end of an episode of “Survivor.”...
So what was all this about? Were producers attempting to save Sam Woolf yet again? Or were they just trying to add a dose of intrigue to the show’s lowest-rated season?
Further, who were the two “no” votes?
I found this "twist" really irritating. Don't incite the public to vote and then interpose a veto. The ordeal of watching all those performances is endurable only because you know somebody's getting the boot.
March 14, 2014
Obama goes on the radio to defend himself against the charge that he wears "mom" jeans.
"I’ve been unfairly maligned about my jeans. The truth is, generally I look very sharp in jeans. There was one episode like four years ago in which I was wearing some loose jeans, mainly because I was out on the pitcher’s mound and I didn’t want to feel confined while I was pitching, and I think I’ve paid my penance for that. I got whacked pretty good. Since that time, my jeans fit very well."
This was on Ryan Seacrest's radio show, part of Obama's effort to reach young people and tell them to sign up for health insurance.
This was on Ryan Seacrest's radio show, part of Obama's effort to reach young people and tell them to sign up for health insurance.
March 6, 2014
"Salon became a hardcore racist mag so gradually I barely noticed."
Observes Instapundit, linking to a Salon article titled "Why I can’t stand white belly dancers."
The article is written by a novelist named Randa Jarrar. And there's this twee notice at the end of it: "This piece is the latest in a series by feminists of color, curated by Roxane Gay."
Here's my post from last month where we were talking about this use of the word "curated" (a propos of Ryan Seacrest "curating" a fashion line.) LordSomber (a commenter) said: "'Curate' is one of those overused words that hipster artist wannabes have ruined."
Maybe Salon thinks that it's more feminist and of color to eschew the word "edited," which suggests a superseding authority and intervention. Maybe it's a crafty way to deny responsibility for the thing published: It's not edited, it's merely collected and presented "as is."
But what about that racism? How bothersome is it for a person of authenticity to express exasperation for the appropriation of some attribute of her culture for re-presentation by an outsider to that culture?
Perhaps if these white lady belly dancers asserted that what they are doing is curating dance we could all love one another (or at least wink knowingly).
The article is written by a novelist named Randa Jarrar. And there's this twee notice at the end of it: "This piece is the latest in a series by feminists of color, curated by Roxane Gay."
Here's my post from last month where we were talking about this use of the word "curated" (a propos of Ryan Seacrest "curating" a fashion line.) LordSomber (a commenter) said: "'Curate' is one of those overused words that hipster artist wannabes have ruined."
Maybe Salon thinks that it's more feminist and of color to eschew the word "edited," which suggests a superseding authority and intervention. Maybe it's a crafty way to deny responsibility for the thing published: It's not edited, it's merely collected and presented "as is."
But what about that racism? How bothersome is it for a person of authenticity to express exasperation for the appropriation of some attribute of her culture for re-presentation by an outsider to that culture?
Perhaps if these white lady belly dancers asserted that what they are doing is curating dance we could all love one another (or at least wink knowingly).
February 13, 2014
"I'm not a designer, nor do I think I am... I see an opportunity to help curate these different pieces for guys at an accessible level."
Says Ryan Seacrest about the new men's fashion line going out under his name.
Mr. Seacrest said he intended the clothes to reflect what he wears. When manufacturers proposed lilac and green, he said "I wouldn't wear that," he recalled, in a recent telephone interview. "Sometimes they've said to me, 'You wouldn't wear this color but people like this color. They want to buy that color.' " Some shades of green made it into the neckwear collection, just "not bad leprechaun green," Mr. Seacrest said. Lilac was scrapped for blues and charcoals....I love the word "curate" as used these days euphemistically to upgrade a certain sort of activity, to imbue the appropriation of the creative work of others with creativity of its own, making the selection and presentation perhaps even more refined and praiseworthy that the original work. I see the Oxford English Dictionary is watching this development, with a new meaning, a draft addition from 2011:
trans. In extended use: to select the performers or performances to be included in (a festival, album, programme, etc.); (also) to select, organize, and present (content), as on a web site.
1982 N.Y. Times 24 Jan. ii. 8/1 The Kitchen presented three different programs of ‘New Performances from P.S. 122’, curated by and including Mr. Dennis....
2003 Record (Kitchener-Waterloo, Ont.) (Nexis) 20 Feb. f6 You have every reason to be wary of a Ramones tribute album curated by Rob Zombie.
2006 Play: N.Y. Times Sports Mag. June 44/2 As you wade through the millions of words on ESPN.com, you wonder if anyone is curating what reaches the screen....
2010 W. J. Martin & X. Tian Bks., Bytes & Business iii. 45 Publishers will be..engaged in the business of generating, curating and aggregating content.
February 26, 2012
"Sacha Baron Cohen just spilled 'ashes' of Kim Jong Il on Ryan Seacrest."
A tweet from the Oscars that I am not watching.
Cohen is promoting his movie "The Dictator" and appearing in character as Adm. Gen. Shabazz Aladeen, which the Oscar folk tried to keep him from doing.
ADDED: Video.
Cohen is promoting his movie "The Dictator" and appearing in character as Adm. Gen. Shabazz Aladeen, which the Oscar folk tried to keep him from doing.
ADDED: Video.
December 17, 2010
Larry King, Bill Clinton, and the "zipper club."
A little embarrassment on Larry King's last show:
The guests [included] former president Bill Clinton, fit and felicitous as piped in from Arkansas. The encounter was hampered by annoying pauses and delays caused by a slothful satellite - and by a fleeting bit of embarrassment involving the term "zipper club."AND: Here's the whole darn show. The Bill Clinton stuff starts at 26:00.
King said that he and Clinton were both members of that fanciful aggregation, an unfortunate reference considering that, earlier, [Ryan] Seacrest had clumsily asked King whether the fly on his trousers had a zipper or buttons. A bit belatedly, King explained that the "zipper club" is for men who've had open-heart surgery. "I'm glad you clarified that," Clinton said, with a forgiving smile.
May 18, 2009
January 2, 2009
If it were true that "'40 to 45 percent of body heat' is lost through the head," then going out without a hat would make you as cold as...
... going out without your pants.
That link is from from a 2 part article debunking myths — here's part 2 — that was just linked on Freakonomics.
By the way, it was 19° here in Madison yesterday — the same temperature it was on New Year's Eve in New York City when Ryan Seacrest was whining about the cold while wearing a hugely puffy down jacket and earmuffs — and I saw a young man on State Street who was wearing only a T-shirt, shorts, and moccasins. Not even socks. He wasn't shivering or huddling against the cold, just walking along briskly, talking with his friends.
This myth probably originated with an old military study in which scientists put subjects in arctic survival suits (but no hats) and measured their heat loss in extremely cold temperatures. Because it was the only part of the subjects’ bodies that was exposed to the cold, they lost the most heat through their heads. Experts say, however, that had this experiment been performed with subjects wearing only swimsuits, they would not have lost more than 10% of their body heat through their heads.Now, now... if we're going to be scientific, we'll need to factor in the cold stares you get when you go out without your pants. I mean, take off the swimsuits! Accuracy will require nudity.
That link is from from a 2 part article debunking myths — here's part 2 — that was just linked on Freakonomics.
By the way, it was 19° here in Madison yesterday — the same temperature it was on New Year's Eve in New York City when Ryan Seacrest was whining about the cold while wearing a hugely puffy down jacket and earmuffs — and I saw a young man on State Street who was wearing only a T-shirt, shorts, and moccasins. Not even socks. He wasn't shivering or huddling against the cold, just walking along briskly, talking with his friends.
I see guys like that all the time in Madison, and my theory is that — like people who sleep naked — they just don't want their limbs encumbered in the slightest, and they are walking from one indoor place to another and willing to put up with a little discomfort during the relocation.
December 31, 2008
The New Year's Eve live-blog.
7:27 Central Time: Shouldn't you be out carousing? No. It's smart to stay in on the night when everyone else is out. So hang out here if you like. I hope you don't mind that I'm doing Central Time. But one must be somewhere? Where are you? Are you already in 2009? I see from Site Meter, that there are currently 142 people on the blog. There are readers in Dublin, Brighton, and Germany, so, hello, people of the future.
7:44: Celebrations around the world, but "A number of Arab nations - including Egypt, Jordan and Syria - cancelled planned celebrations in solidarity with Palestinians in the Hamas-run Gaza Strip after a fifth day of Israeli air-strikes on the coastal enclave."
8:24: Champagne cork popped.
8:44: I'm watching Mickey Kaus and Bob Wright doing their New Year's Bloggingheads.
9:27: "How cold is it in New York? Look at that jacket! What a candyass!" I exclaim, looking at Ryan Seacrest — whoops for a second there I called him Ryan Seaquest — who is wearing an overstuffed down jacket and ear muffs. We've turned on "Dick Clark's New York Rockin' Eve" — or whatever it's called. I check my iPhone. It's 19° in NYC. So: candyass! They go to commercial, and we switch to "South Park."
10:00: We're kind of excited about Kathy Griffin (along with Anderson Cooper) covering Times Square on CNN.
10:05: The sound technology on CNN is terrible! They're trying to talk to reporters in lots of different cities, and either they can't hear them or the crowd noise is blowing out the microphones. Now Anderson and Kathy can't hear each other when they are standing side by side. "Can we stop saying Pap smear?" Cooper asks, after Kathy makes a few Pap smear jokes.
10:52: CNN comes back from a commercial break with Lynyrd Skynyrd singing "Sweet Home Alabama" in Pikeville, Kentucky. It sounds terrible. Is it the CNN mikes? Or do they suck? Hey, is that Bill Clinton? Oh, that's not Kentucky now. It's New York City. And there's Hillary and Bloomberg. Bill is not wearing a puffy jacket. He's got a lovely brown leather jacket. Very attractive. He's got his values in order.
10:57: Close to the end in New York City. They're playing John Lennon singing "Imagine." Chris says: "It's sort of a downer of a song in the last 2 and a half minutes."
10:58: I'm kinda tired. Can I be on NY time?
10:59: The Clintons start the ball. The ball, the ball, the ball, the ball. Yay!!!! Happy New Year!!!!!!!
11:00: "Oh, I'm tired! Can I be on NY time?" "No! You have to be on the time that you're in!"
11:01: Oh! Good lord! The Clintons are dancing and it makes me cry! Now, Kathy and Anderson are dancing, and Kathy says to Anderson, "Are you seeing anyone?" and we all know that's a huge joke.
10:05: "2 thousand and 9. We got to the big 9." I say that, as if 9 is an especially magnificent numeral. CNN plays Frank Sinatra singing "New York, New York," then Ray Charles singing "America the Beautiful," then Louis Armstrong's "Wonderful World."
10:08: Lot's of folks are wearing those 2009 glasses, and I suddenly realize that this is the last year for the 00 glasses. You'll have to wait until the year 3000 to wear glasses like that. Will we even have eyes in 3000?
11:30: We've finished the bottle of champagne, and I'm making herb tea, as if that will keep me up until midnight. I've muted the TV, which is really annoying me, and Chris and I are making lists of all the movies we saw in 2008 and putting them in order. This little effort wakes me up a bit. Here's my list:
11:47: Okay, now, who's in the Central Time Zone with me? The Central Time Zone rules!
11:51: "We're the only ones here! This is like a really messed up bar!" So says Kathy Griffin, looking down at Times Square. Anderson Cooper explains the notion of time zones.
11:59: CNN is playing some crap music. This is not the way I want to end a year or indeed what I want to do anywhere.
12:00: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! We watched CNN do the countdown in New Orleans. It was really lamely done. "Wouldn't it be great if there was a hologram of the Clintons dancing there?" says Kathy Griffin. We laugh. First laugh of the year. That can't be the biggest laugh of the year. Let's hope there are many laughs.
UPDATE, 10/22/11: I'm just reading this by chance and laughing at that last line Let's hope there are many laughs. In the year I was anticipating, I met Meade in January, fell in love with him in February, and married him in August. 2009 was brimming with excitement and happiness... and many, many laughs.
UPDATE: 12/12/14: I'm just rereading this again, including my 2011 update calling attention to my the last line Let's hope there are many laughs, and I'm seeing that Meade, at 1/1/09, 7:51 AM, quoted that line and said:
7:44: Celebrations around the world, but "A number of Arab nations - including Egypt, Jordan and Syria - cancelled planned celebrations in solidarity with Palestinians in the Hamas-run Gaza Strip after a fifth day of Israeli air-strikes on the coastal enclave."
8:24: Champagne cork popped.
8:44: I'm watching Mickey Kaus and Bob Wright doing their New Year's Bloggingheads.
9:27: "How cold is it in New York? Look at that jacket! What a candyass!" I exclaim, looking at Ryan Seacrest — whoops for a second there I called him Ryan Seaquest — who is wearing an overstuffed down jacket and ear muffs. We've turned on "Dick Clark's New York Rockin' Eve" — or whatever it's called. I check my iPhone. It's 19° in NYC. So: candyass! They go to commercial, and we switch to "South Park."
10:00: We're kind of excited about Kathy Griffin (along with Anderson Cooper) covering Times Square on CNN.
10:05: The sound technology on CNN is terrible! They're trying to talk to reporters in lots of different cities, and either they can't hear them or the crowd noise is blowing out the microphones. Now Anderson and Kathy can't hear each other when they are standing side by side. "Can we stop saying Pap smear?" Cooper asks, after Kathy makes a few Pap smear jokes.
10:52: CNN comes back from a commercial break with Lynyrd Skynyrd singing "Sweet Home Alabama" in Pikeville, Kentucky. It sounds terrible. Is it the CNN mikes? Or do they suck? Hey, is that Bill Clinton? Oh, that's not Kentucky now. It's New York City. And there's Hillary and Bloomberg. Bill is not wearing a puffy jacket. He's got a lovely brown leather jacket. Very attractive. He's got his values in order.
10:57: Close to the end in New York City. They're playing John Lennon singing "Imagine." Chris says: "It's sort of a downer of a song in the last 2 and a half minutes."
10:58: I'm kinda tired. Can I be on NY time?
10:59: The Clintons start the ball. The ball, the ball, the ball, the ball. Yay!!!! Happy New Year!!!!!!!
11:00: "Oh, I'm tired! Can I be on NY time?" "No! You have to be on the time that you're in!"
11:01: Oh! Good lord! The Clintons are dancing and it makes me cry! Now, Kathy and Anderson are dancing, and Kathy says to Anderson, "Are you seeing anyone?" and we all know that's a huge joke.
10:05: "2 thousand and 9. We got to the big 9." I say that, as if 9 is an especially magnificent numeral. CNN plays Frank Sinatra singing "New York, New York," then Ray Charles singing "America the Beautiful," then Louis Armstrong's "Wonderful World."
10:08: Lot's of folks are wearing those 2009 glasses, and I suddenly realize that this is the last year for the 00 glasses. You'll have to wait until the year 3000 to wear glasses like that. Will we even have eyes in 3000?
11:30: We've finished the bottle of champagne, and I'm making herb tea, as if that will keep me up until midnight. I've muted the TV, which is really annoying me, and Chris and I are making lists of all the movies we saw in 2008 and putting them in order. This little effort wakes me up a bit. Here's my list:
The Fall11:35: Chris IMs his movie list:
Milk
Slumdog Millionaire
Synecdoche, New York
The Reader
Mongol
Iron Man
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Faster, Bigger, Stronger
Standard Operating Procedure
U23D
Australia
Dark Knight
Children of Huang Shi
Doubt
Rachel Getting Married
Sex and the City
Milk11:40: A shot of Times Square: Everyone has cleared out. Weird. It was the place to be, and then it's nothing.
The Fall
The Reader
Synecdoche, New York
Slumdog Millionaire
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Doubt
Frost/Nixon
The Dark Knight
Iron Man
U23D
Mirrors
Rachel Getting Married
Sex and the City
11:47: Okay, now, who's in the Central Time Zone with me? The Central Time Zone rules!
11:51: "We're the only ones here! This is like a really messed up bar!" So says Kathy Griffin, looking down at Times Square. Anderson Cooper explains the notion of time zones.
11:59: CNN is playing some crap music. This is not the way I want to end a year or indeed what I want to do anywhere.
12:00: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! We watched CNN do the countdown in New Orleans. It was really lamely done. "Wouldn't it be great if there was a hologram of the Clintons dancing there?" says Kathy Griffin. We laugh. First laugh of the year. That can't be the biggest laugh of the year. Let's hope there are many laughs.
UPDATE, 10/22/11: I'm just reading this by chance and laughing at that last line Let's hope there are many laughs. In the year I was anticipating, I met Meade in January, fell in love with him in February, and married him in August. 2009 was brimming with excitement and happiness... and many, many laughs.
UPDATE: 12/12/14: I'm just rereading this again, including my 2011 update calling attention to my the last line Let's hope there are many laughs, and I'm seeing that Meade, at 1/1/09, 7:51 AM, quoted that line and said:
"First laugh of the year. That can't be the biggest laugh of the year. Let's hope there are many laughs"
Raising my cup to that sentiment and taking my first sip of hot strong black coffee to that.
I am wishing Althouse and all her wacky worldly-wise wonderful readers a new year filled with hope, love, and friendship.
And laughter... always laughter.
May 20, 2008
The "American Idol" finale: The Clash of the Davids.
Please keep me company!
ADDED: Someone other than Ryan Seacrest is saying "This is American Idol." I don't like that. I suppose it's someone famous, but I don't know who he is, and even if he's famous, he should not horn in on Ryan's territory. The Davids are introduced as if they were boxers, and DA is called "David 'Baby Face' Archuleta." Ah, here's Seacrest. That's better. Seacrest is calling them "Big David and Little David."
MORE: The ancient artifact Clive Davis made great choices. "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" for David Cook, and "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me" for David Archuleta. I much preferred Cook, but the judges preferred Archuleta.
AND: Oh, no, they have to pick from the songs that people wrote for the show. I expect the songs to be utter crap. Cook does a song that is about "dreaming" and having "faith" in yourself — like every damned song that has ever been written for the show. Ryan tells him he was "singing your face off." Paula babbles. Simon sighs.
AND: David Archuleta is singing an idiotic song about "this moment" — an obvious attempt at recapturing the magic — feeble as it was — of the original "Moment Like This" that Kelly Clarkson sang in Season 1, so very long ago. It's funny that it has the line "Open your eyes and you'll see," when there's been such a big issue all season about Archuleta singing with his eyes closed. And now, here he is, singing it with his eyes closed. The judges are saying it's a bad song, but they take no responsibility for the horror of all these bad finale songs season after season.
AND: Finally, they can pick their own songs. David Cook is singing a song he's never done before, "The World I Know," by Collective Soul. Archuleta is doing "Imagine," which he's already done on the show — and which is also, obviously, a much more familiar song. Even before they start to sing, it seems determined: David Archuleta will win.
AND: Paula tells DC he's "standing in [his] truth." Simon tells him he made the wrong song choice. He should have sung "Billie Jean" or "Hello" — that is, one of the 2 best songs he's already done on the show. When he finished singing, Cook's eyes were all red. He cried. Does he perhaps not want to win? To use the boxing metaphors they are foisting on us: Is he taking a dive? It was my analysis this morning that it was not in Cook's interest to win. Winning would fit Archuleta's life so much better.
AND: Beautiful little David thrills us with "Imagine." Randy yells that DA is the best. Paula doesn't state that he's the best. But he's "stunning." Simon "You came out here tonight to win. And what we have witnessed is a knockout." So all is right in the world. Join hands. David Archuleta has won. And the world will be as one.
IN THE COMMENTS: I've corrected it now, but originally I typo'd the homophone "one" for "won" in the sentence, just above, "David Archuleta has won." Jokes are cracked.
ADDED: Someone other than Ryan Seacrest is saying "This is American Idol." I don't like that. I suppose it's someone famous, but I don't know who he is, and even if he's famous, he should not horn in on Ryan's territory. The Davids are introduced as if they were boxers, and DA is called "David 'Baby Face' Archuleta." Ah, here's Seacrest. That's better. Seacrest is calling them "Big David and Little David."
MORE: The ancient artifact Clive Davis made great choices. "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" for David Cook, and "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me" for David Archuleta. I much preferred Cook, but the judges preferred Archuleta.
AND: Oh, no, they have to pick from the songs that people wrote for the show. I expect the songs to be utter crap. Cook does a song that is about "dreaming" and having "faith" in yourself — like every damned song that has ever been written for the show. Ryan tells him he was "singing your face off." Paula babbles. Simon sighs.
AND: David Archuleta is singing an idiotic song about "this moment" — an obvious attempt at recapturing the magic — feeble as it was — of the original "Moment Like This" that Kelly Clarkson sang in Season 1, so very long ago. It's funny that it has the line "Open your eyes and you'll see," when there's been such a big issue all season about Archuleta singing with his eyes closed. And now, here he is, singing it with his eyes closed. The judges are saying it's a bad song, but they take no responsibility for the horror of all these bad finale songs season after season.
AND: Finally, they can pick their own songs. David Cook is singing a song he's never done before, "The World I Know," by Collective Soul. Archuleta is doing "Imagine," which he's already done on the show — and which is also, obviously, a much more familiar song. Even before they start to sing, it seems determined: David Archuleta will win.
AND: Paula tells DC he's "standing in [his] truth." Simon tells him he made the wrong song choice. He should have sung "Billie Jean" or "Hello" — that is, one of the 2 best songs he's already done on the show. When he finished singing, Cook's eyes were all red. He cried. Does he perhaps not want to win? To use the boxing metaphors they are foisting on us: Is he taking a dive? It was my analysis this morning that it was not in Cook's interest to win. Winning would fit Archuleta's life so much better.
AND: Beautiful little David thrills us with "Imagine." Randy yells that DA is the best. Paula doesn't state that he's the best. But he's "stunning." Simon "You came out here tonight to win. And what we have witnessed is a knockout." So all is right in the world. Join hands. David Archuleta has won. And the world will be as one.
IN THE COMMENTS: I've corrected it now, but originally I typo'd the homophone "one" for "won" in the sentence, just above, "David Archuleta has won." Jokes are cracked.
April 29, 2008
Neil Diamond on "American Idol."
I'm just catching up with the TiVo'd show. (As I said, I was walking over the Brooklyn Bridge. Just an after work walk. Midway through the bridge I realized I was starving, and I felt like a zombie stalking the rest of the way over and for blocks into Manhattan to get to a restaurant. Restaurant! Restaurant! It was gruesome.)
Neil is doing a great job. He's been well advised: Be like Barry Manilow. Not Dolly! Help the nice, young kids. Don't self-promote. Does Neil actually care about these the kids? I don't know, but he seems like he does, and that's enough to make me like him.
They're singing 2 songs each, and — in a shocking break from tradition — the contestants sing their first songs without hearing from the judges. Then they're lined up on the stage together for judgment. Horrible idea. Randy goes down the line and gives each one a little opinion on their first song. Then Paula starts with Jason and tells him what she thinks of his first and his second song, even though he hasn't sung his second song yet. This is the biggest Paula screw-up of all time. We see Ryan Seacrest glance nervously over to the side. The audience giggles. She's about to go on to David Cook, and Randy interrupts and says, "We should just do the first song, uh." And now the truth is out! They prepare beforehand, based on rehearsal performances! Arrrggghhh! My AI world is torn apart. Ryan relies on his tiny wit: "You're seein' the future." Simon is making that hand gesture where he holds his thumb to his forehead and flares out his fingers. What is it? The half moose? Simon squelches Paula. Just say who your favorite was and shut up. Then Simon tells all the kids they sucked.
Then we get another round of songs, but we don't see Neil again, and it's all quite forgettable.
I think we all know either Jason or Brooke is going to leave. And, frankly, I think we know that Jason, Brooke, and Syesha are going to be leaving in the next 3 weeks. The only interesting question is: Which David will win?
IN THE COMMENTS: Jennifer says:
Neil is doing a great job. He's been well advised: Be like Barry Manilow. Not Dolly! Help the nice, young kids. Don't self-promote. Does Neil actually care about these the kids? I don't know, but he seems like he does, and that's enough to make me like him.
They're singing 2 songs each, and — in a shocking break from tradition — the contestants sing their first songs without hearing from the judges. Then they're lined up on the stage together for judgment. Horrible idea. Randy goes down the line and gives each one a little opinion on their first song. Then Paula starts with Jason and tells him what she thinks of his first and his second song, even though he hasn't sung his second song yet. This is the biggest Paula screw-up of all time. We see Ryan Seacrest glance nervously over to the side. The audience giggles. She's about to go on to David Cook, and Randy interrupts and says, "We should just do the first song, uh." And now the truth is out! They prepare beforehand, based on rehearsal performances! Arrrggghhh! My AI world is torn apart. Ryan relies on his tiny wit: "You're seein' the future." Simon is making that hand gesture where he holds his thumb to his forehead and flares out his fingers. What is it? The half moose? Simon squelches Paula. Just say who your favorite was and shut up. Then Simon tells all the kids they sucked.
Then we get another round of songs, but we don't see Neil again, and it's all quite forgettable.
I think we all know either Jason or Brooke is going to leave. And, frankly, I think we know that Jason, Brooke, and Syesha are going to be leaving in the next 3 weeks. The only interesting question is: Which David will win?
IN THE COMMENTS: Jennifer says:
Oh, and I thought you would say that Neil Diamond didn't go the Barry Manilow route. He didn't seem to give a whole lot of advice...? But, I guess they gave him very little screen time.Hmm. Yeah. He wasn't making the Dolly mistake (making it all about oneself), but he didn't really achieve Manilosity, because he didn't have a lot of detailed, individualized advice. Maybe he's just not as smart or he didn't take the time with the singers. And there was a time issue. Was it caused by cramming 10 songs into 1 hour, or did they choose to make it 1 hour because Diamond didn't give them enough material?
January 16, 2008
I think I'm going to have to stop watching "American Idol."
Monday marked the first day of my 5th year of blogging, and during each of those past 4 years, I blogged every episode — did I miss even 1? — of "American Idol." Last night, a new season began, and I started watching and got about halfway through before I abandoned it (with the recorder going) to check out the Democratic debate and the Michigan primary returns. Will I go back and watch the rest of the show?
It feels too much like an obligation, but what's worse is that I don't feel that it works well for me as raw material for blogging anymore. Must I once again live through the early auditions, where one mouth after another opens and something either reasonably good or horribly bad comes out?
What difference does it make? It will either be good or bad. If it's bad, you're to laugh.
(And I did laugh pretty hard at one poor man last night. He told us he was like Paul Robeson, sang with his mouth oddly constrained and his lingual frenulum on obscene display, and then blamed his failure to impress the judges on his choice of religious material. )
If it's good, you're supposed to bond. You're supposed to care as these characters begin their journey into the months long sifting process. They prod you to bond by presenting mini-melodramas that emphasize the contestants' close bonds to their mothers, their sick children, and their horses and kitties.
You're supposed to upload the significant singers one by one into your consciousness so that you can appreciate the experience of seeing them systematically and slowly eliminated, until there is one left standing, at which point, you — or at least I — will realize I am not at all interested in this person. Get off my TV screen.
And then they do. They go away. They hibernate — they estivate and they hibernate — until the following January, when you will have forgotten what a pain it was to follow the show week after unrewarding week, and you'll be able to feel excited by the return of the boinging theme music, and the old panel of judges, who will file in wearily and act pained that they have to sit through it all again.
But they are being paid. I'm not. Seriously, my readers paid me $200 to eat an egg salad sandwich that one time, but no one pays me to blog "American Idol." Would I take a job watching and writing about "American Idol" for $200 an episode? Of course not! But even as we do some things for money that we wouldn't do for free, we do some things for free that we wouldn't do for money. Nevertheless, somehow, this year, blogging every episode of "American Idol" doesn't seem to be one of them.
IN THE COMMENTS: Lots of great discussion of later episodes.
ADDED: Actually, there's a glitch that cuts off the comments in that old post making it impossible to see all of what I pointed you too. So here are the comments from this week's girls show (and some more), all by ace commenter Trooper York:
It feels too much like an obligation, but what's worse is that I don't feel that it works well for me as raw material for blogging anymore. Must I once again live through the early auditions, where one mouth after another opens and something either reasonably good or horribly bad comes out?
What difference does it make? It will either be good or bad. If it's bad, you're to laugh.
(And I did laugh pretty hard at one poor man last night. He told us he was like Paul Robeson, sang with his mouth oddly constrained and his lingual frenulum on obscene display, and then blamed his failure to impress the judges on his choice of religious material. )
If it's good, you're supposed to bond. You're supposed to care as these characters begin their journey into the months long sifting process. They prod you to bond by presenting mini-melodramas that emphasize the contestants' close bonds to their mothers, their sick children, and their horses and kitties.
You're supposed to upload the significant singers one by one into your consciousness so that you can appreciate the experience of seeing them systematically and slowly eliminated, until there is one left standing, at which point, you — or at least I — will realize I am not at all interested in this person. Get off my TV screen.
And then they do. They go away. They hibernate — they estivate and they hibernate — until the following January, when you will have forgotten what a pain it was to follow the show week after unrewarding week, and you'll be able to feel excited by the return of the boinging theme music, and the old panel of judges, who will file in wearily and act pained that they have to sit through it all again.
But they are being paid. I'm not. Seriously, my readers paid me $200 to eat an egg salad sandwich that one time, but no one pays me to blog "American Idol." Would I take a job watching and writing about "American Idol" for $200 an episode? Of course not! But even as we do some things for money that we wouldn't do for free, we do some things for free that we wouldn't do for money. Nevertheless, somehow, this year, blogging every episode of "American Idol" doesn't seem to be one of them.
IN THE COMMENTS: Lots of great discussion of later episodes.
ADDED: Actually, there's a glitch that cuts off the comments in that old post making it impossible to see all of what I pointed you too. So here are the comments from this week's girls show (and some more), all by ace commenter Trooper York:
Now the ladies.
Carly is up and guess what her secret is? SHE"S IRISH AND SHE WORKS IN A BAR!!!! WOW.
She sings Crazy on you by Heart and does an ok rendition. The judges are trying to rehablitate her since the controversy seems to have blown over about her prior record contract. But she has a long way to go to really have a chance to win.
Syesha's up and does a smokey, sexy version of Me and Mrs Jones, but turns it into Me and Mr. Jones which freaks out Simon since he can't deal with gender confusion, (see his relationship with Seacrest). The judges dog her and she seems sad, but I think she is safe unless everyone forgets her. But she has the Latin base and the Miami people so she might be ok this week since other people will suck much worse.
Brooke is up next and takes her guitar and sings a letter perfect copy of Carly Simon's Youre so Vain to Simon. He loves it because it plays to his image and praises her for it. It's funny how they ask for orginality and then love a letter perfect copy. This is pure karioke if I ever heard it. I do admit she does have the horse face and lips of Carly Simon. Lets give her a carrot and move on to the next contestant.
Which is our favorite, little Ramile who belts out some Donna Summer. The judges don't buy it because they want her back in her box. It's funny because she is the only contestant who could actually fit in a box. Maybe a hat box. Or even a McDonals happy meal box. Or a happy ending box. Simon does call her one of the three best singers in the competition. So she should be good for this week.
Next up is pony girl Kristy Lee Cooke who sings "Youre No Good." Very appropriate because she is no good and I hope she is one of the two who are out this week. Simon says she has a lot of potential, but I think that is on her looks alone, cause she can't sing for shit. I would pay good money to see her saddle up horse face Brooke and ride her around the Surreal Life house, but that won't happen for a year or two.
Amanda Oversinger, I mean Amanda. Overbearing, I mean Amanda Overmeyer the motorcycle chick is next and she sucks big time. The judges really trash her big time and deservedly so. But the looks she is giving them are classic. I bet she's thinking, let me get a tire iron and come back here and see what's what. I guess she is going back to singing in bars and raping waitresses on pinball machines with pool cues. Sweet.
Alexandrea comes out in the professor's favorite outfit: a bubble shirt and cargo shorts. This outfit would be good for about six posts if some dude wore it on the Promonade. She sang "Hopelessly Devouted to You" in a hopelessly depressing monotone. The judges trash her gently and give just enough encouragement so she might skate this week. But I think she has a chance to go this week. [NOTE: He's right.]
Wait a minute I screwed up. It was Alaina Witaker who sang Hopelessly Devoted and ALexandrea who had the bad outfit. Both sucked and have a chance to be out. See what happens when you wait a day and rely on your notes. You forget. I feel like Roger Clemens. Please don't tell Congress.
Next up is Kady Malloy who does the Britney impression. I said it before and I will say it again, if she wants to be noticed she needs to show her cootch just like Britney cause otherwise she is out this week or next. Jeeez.
Last but not least, Asia'h rocks. All By Myself and the judges diss her lightly but I think it was the best of the night. Since she got the pimp spot she should be ok and get throught to the next round. Good tone, good belting, good dance moves, good look. She will be in the final ten.
So to recap, I think Amanda and Kady will be out this week. Also Jason the child molester guy with the Damien kid and Robbie the Axel Rose douche bag guy. Lets see. [NOTE: He was right about the guys, but wrong about the girls.]
Remember don't look at the spelling because I am typing as fast as I can and I can't spell for shit. Sorry....
I think that the Humility Kid [David Archuleta] will wear out his welcome before the final. He is peaking way too early. I think it will be a surprise winner this year. The Hernandez kid has good instincts and might go far, but my bet is split between Syesha or Ramile. Hey it might be the year for people with strange names to win it all. Right Hillary?
Not [Archuleta's] singing, but his popularity. He is the fave of the little tweener girls, notice the squeals and the screams at his performance. He might keep that demographic but everyone else gets pissed off. Witness the Talyor Hicks fiasco. Plus kids have a short attention span and most of the tweeners favs fade just as it happened in the first season with that bozo haired guy.
The question is who gets the Ralph Nader protest votes marshaled by Vote for the Worst. My bet is Cha-cheese-ie or Noriega. That is important because it kept Sanjaya and Scott Savol the secret squirrel around for quite a while.
A good personality can go a long way. People get tired of wise guys, but that is what puts the Vote for the Worst guys in your corner. Although that might have died out too since it was fun last year with Sanjaya but will Stern and the rest of them get on the bandwagon. It's not a good idea to talk back to the judges and overly bitchy like Noriega goes quick. But who ever thought that old pineapple face's kid would be on American Idol. General Noriega must be proud wherever he is these days. (Dead?)
April 25, 2007
"American Idol" -- the "most shocking" result ever.
It's a two hour show tonight, but it's helping poor people, if you call up and make a donation. There are a lot of extra celebrities to keep you entertained... and to tell you to call up. But they also tantalize us with the news -- delivered by Ryan Seacrest -- that tonight's results are the "most shocking" ever, in all the seasons of the show. So what could that be? More shocking than Tamyra Gray going out in fourth place? Here's what I'm guessing, and I'm going to be pissed if it's true. I think they are going to say it was somehow a tie and no one is leaving tonight. Maybe two will go next week. Or that two are leaving tonight. Because I don't see how any one person leaving could be the most shocking thing ever. But they may think it is so if the loser tonight is Melinda Doolittle. And that definitely could happen. Checking "DialIdol," I know everyone is really close.
As for the charity event, how painful to see the incredibly rich Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell commiserating with a 12-year-old African boy who breaks down in tears over his dead parents. They present him as a hero for being the father of the house in a hovel in a shantytown the size of Central Park with over a million people, many of them parentless children. They are using the boy to encourage the audience to give money, but it just seems so crazy to me that the two millionaires won't just hand the boy the amount of money it would take to rescue him and his sister. Maybe they did when the cameras were gone.
MORE: But Melinda is safe. And so is Blake (my favorite). And Phil (AKA Bat Boy). And LaKisha. So it's either Chris or Jordin. But the only shocking result could be: Jordin!
Anyway, there are two weird pairings. We see Kelly Clarkson and Jeff Beck. Jeff Beck! Jeff Beck! Kelly is brilliant, as expected, but: Jeff Beck! What can I say? I'm very touched to see Jeff Beck. Then we get an Elvis impersonator and Celine Dion. Whatever.
YET MORE: Oh, no, it's Madonna, asking us to save a life by giving money. I want to know how much she gave. Because this is a PR opportunity for her. She's showing she cares. But she's fabulously rich. How much did she give?
AND: Oh, I predicted it! I said:
EVEN MORE: Some good points are raised in the comments, so let me respond here.
I'm not impressed that they raised $30 million. There were 70 million votes Tuesday night, and how much did they invest putting the show together? How much ad money did they earn with this 2 hour display of nonentertainment. And all those celebrities participating? Yeah, Ellen gave $100,000, but did the other celebs cought up an equivalent portion of their great wealth?
It was a big PR thing, raising a paltry amount of money for all the parading of human suffering. And only $5 million from the corporate sponsors, purportedly based on the number of phoned in votes but capped at $5 million? I am not impressed by this stunt, which was all about the "American Idol" image. Better to give the money quietly, out of the vast sums they make on the show.
I'm told that really was Elvis in some some computer-generated gimmickry. Yawn. He wasn't too wonderful. I guess I averted my eyes. I paid little attention to any of the musical performances, except Jeff Beck.
As to the non-results. I can see that Ryan's statement that he was going to announce things randomly suggests that Chris and Jordin were not the actual bottom two. But what a stupid ordeal to put them through. Or did they know all along? That's even lamer. We were tricked into watching that gruesome PR.
It was really bad to have no results, and I definitely suspect them of saving someone they didn't want to lose. I'll bet if Phil or LaKisha had been last he/she would have gone.
As for the charity event, how painful to see the incredibly rich Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell commiserating with a 12-year-old African boy who breaks down in tears over his dead parents. They present him as a hero for being the father of the house in a hovel in a shantytown the size of Central Park with over a million people, many of them parentless children. They are using the boy to encourage the audience to give money, but it just seems so crazy to me that the two millionaires won't just hand the boy the amount of money it would take to rescue him and his sister. Maybe they did when the cameras were gone.
MORE: But Melinda is safe. And so is Blake (my favorite). And Phil (AKA Bat Boy). And LaKisha. So it's either Chris or Jordin. But the only shocking result could be: Jordin!
Anyway, there are two weird pairings. We see Kelly Clarkson and Jeff Beck. Jeff Beck! Jeff Beck! Kelly is brilliant, as expected, but: Jeff Beck! What can I say? I'm very touched to see Jeff Beck. Then we get an Elvis impersonator and Celine Dion. Whatever.
YET MORE: Oh, no, it's Madonna, asking us to save a life by giving money. I want to know how much she gave. Because this is a PR opportunity for her. She's showing she cares. But she's fabulously rich. How much did she give?
AND: Oh, I predicted it! I said:
I think they are going to say it was somehow a tie and no one is leaving tonight. Maybe two will go next week.That's essentially what they did. They don't proclaim a tie. I think they indicate that the lowest vote-getter was Jordin. And, changing the rules midstream -- I'm pissed! -- they say they can't send anyone home on "charity night," but they'll accumulate the votes from this week and next week and send two home next week.
EVEN MORE: Some good points are raised in the comments, so let me respond here.
I'm not impressed that they raised $30 million. There were 70 million votes Tuesday night, and how much did they invest putting the show together? How much ad money did they earn with this 2 hour display of nonentertainment. And all those celebrities participating? Yeah, Ellen gave $100,000, but did the other celebs cought up an equivalent portion of their great wealth?
It was a big PR thing, raising a paltry amount of money for all the parading of human suffering. And only $5 million from the corporate sponsors, purportedly based on the number of phoned in votes but capped at $5 million? I am not impressed by this stunt, which was all about the "American Idol" image. Better to give the money quietly, out of the vast sums they make on the show.
I'm told that really was Elvis in some some computer-generated gimmickry. Yawn. He wasn't too wonderful. I guess I averted my eyes. I paid little attention to any of the musical performances, except Jeff Beck.
As to the non-results. I can see that Ryan's statement that he was going to announce things randomly suggests that Chris and Jordin were not the actual bottom two. But what a stupid ordeal to put them through. Or did they know all along? That's even lamer. We were tricked into watching that gruesome PR.
It was really bad to have no results, and I definitely suspect them of saving someone they didn't want to lose. I'll bet if Phil or LaKisha had been last he/she would have gone.
April 24, 2007
"American Idol" gives back.
So this is some sort of charity event, with sponsors donating 10¢ a call, but only up to 50 million calls, so they seem to be using this gimmick to stimulate a lot of extra calls that won't result in a donation at all. That bugs me. It's a good cause, but there really is no connection to the calls. You've just got corporate sponsors giving $5 million. Nice enough, but a lot of hype is achieved for the show and the sponsors, and people are duped into calling more, believing their phone calls are saving lives. It's a bit creepy.
It wasn't a very good show, as the singers had to act profound and sincere. There's nothing phonier that that. I sort of enjoyed Blake singing "Imagine." He showed some taste and restraint, and of course, I already like Blake and "Imagine."
I'm not going to write about all the contestants. I'm just watching the end, as they rave over Jordin Sparks bellowing "You Never Walk Alone." Ugh.
ADDED: In the comments, there a lot of anti-"Imagine" sentiment. It seems mostly about the "no religion too" bit. And I say I watch the show as a self-imposed blogging assignment, and people tell me not to do it if I don't enjoy it. But I enjoy blogging about it, and only write as much as I feel like, as this post shows.
But I feel like writing one more thing. There was all that material showing poor people, the ones that $5 million is supposed to save. We see Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell visiting desperately needy people somewhere in Africa, and then there's Simon saying things like "This is simply awful," which, you can't help thinking, is exactly what we hear him saying every week about mediocre singing. There's something so wrong about this. You can't help feeling that he's expressing how bad the experience is making him feel, since that's what he's doing all those times when he's saying "that was horrible" to a Idol contestant. Putting himself in this environment was for Simon the equivalent of the oft-cited singer's mistake: choosing the wrong song.
It wasn't a very good show, as the singers had to act profound and sincere. There's nothing phonier that that. I sort of enjoyed Blake singing "Imagine." He showed some taste and restraint, and of course, I already like Blake and "Imagine."
I'm not going to write about all the contestants. I'm just watching the end, as they rave over Jordin Sparks bellowing "You Never Walk Alone." Ugh.
ADDED: In the comments, there a lot of anti-"Imagine" sentiment. It seems mostly about the "no religion too" bit. And I say I watch the show as a self-imposed blogging assignment, and people tell me not to do it if I don't enjoy it. But I enjoy blogging about it, and only write as much as I feel like, as this post shows.
But I feel like writing one more thing. There was all that material showing poor people, the ones that $5 million is supposed to save. We see Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell visiting desperately needy people somewhere in Africa, and then there's Simon saying things like "This is simply awful," which, you can't help thinking, is exactly what we hear him saying every week about mediocre singing. There's something so wrong about this. You can't help feeling that he's expressing how bad the experience is making him feel, since that's what he's doing all those times when he's saying "that was horrible" to a Idol contestant. Putting himself in this environment was for Simon the equivalent of the oft-cited singer's mistake: choosing the wrong song.
April 17, 2007
"American Idol" -- the final 7.
How do you do a cheesy singing contest show the day after a massacre? Ryan Seacrest, in somber lighting, backed by quiet pulsing music, asks us to pray. He doesn't lead us in prayer. Pray later, the show goes on.
The theme tonight is country music, tutored by Martina McBride and her blue eyes.
Phil Stacey is first, with his bald head, and he seems to know how to sing country. (Not that I'd know authentic in this genre.) The judges all agree: Phil's a country boy.
Second up is Jordin Sparks. She does "Broken Wing," just standing there, singing out, and everyone loves it.
Now, Sanjaya's up, along with his hair. The big thing this week is a kerchief, with frizzy curls sticking out in back. He's smiling and ready to go. The song is "Let's Give 'Em Something to Talk About," you know, because, after all, we have been talking about him. And he does give us something to talk about: how hideously he sang that song. Was he even trying?
LaKisha's telling us how much the song "Jesus Take the Wheel" means to her, and Martina McBride is overwhelmed by the emotion. But then LaKisha comes out and tries to sing it, and something is horribly wrong. I'm no music expert, so I can't tell you what it is. Let's hear from the judges. Randy: "some pitch problems." Paula thinks maybe she couldn't hear the band. Simon: "It's like eating a hamburger for breakfast." It felt like she was shouting.
Chris is doing a song called "Mayberry." He's got "country roots." Martina likes it. AGH! My ears! What a harsh, ugly edge to his voice. I'm guessing that there's a way to sing this song that has charm, but he hasn't found it. It's just a crazy mess. Simon: "A very nondescript, nasally, tinny vocal, which had no impact on me at all." I agree. Just a little, I suspect they're being extra hard on him to help LaKisha out of a jam. Because 'round about now, LaKisha looks doomed! All we've got left are Blake and Melissa, and they are the two best, most likely.
Chris defends himself, hilariously: "Hey, nasally is a form of singing. I don't know if you knew that." Simon: "Oh, so it's intentional?" Chris: "Yeah." Then he defends himself a bit underhandedly: "My heart goes out to Virginia Tech. I have a lot of friends out there. Be strong." Does LaKisha get to come back out and say that she cares about the massacre victims too? Or, once you bring up the massacre, does it seem wrong even to talk about whether Chris is being unfair by bringing up the massacre?
Melinda sings something about Trouble being a woman in tight blue jeans or with a man on her mind or some such thing. Hm! Who knew? I thought Trouble was Senator Byrd's shih tzu. Anyway, they all love her. Simon says he "saw a little Tina Turner." But she's got to lose that attitude of surprise that she has every week... as if she's always just finding out for the first time that she's any good.
Blake is going to do "When the Stars Go Blue." Country is out of his zone. He needs to relax, says Martina. He needs to get to a softer falsetto and do it in a "really pretty way." He does okay.
I'll put them in order, based on tonight's performances alone: Melinda, Jordin, Blake, Phil, Sanjaya, LaKisha, Chris.
The theme tonight is country music, tutored by Martina McBride and her blue eyes.
Phil Stacey is first, with his bald head, and he seems to know how to sing country. (Not that I'd know authentic in this genre.) The judges all agree: Phil's a country boy.
Second up is Jordin Sparks. She does "Broken Wing," just standing there, singing out, and everyone loves it.
Now, Sanjaya's up, along with his hair. The big thing this week is a kerchief, with frizzy curls sticking out in back. He's smiling and ready to go. The song is "Let's Give 'Em Something to Talk About," you know, because, after all, we have been talking about him. And he does give us something to talk about: how hideously he sang that song. Was he even trying?
LaKisha's telling us how much the song "Jesus Take the Wheel" means to her, and Martina McBride is overwhelmed by the emotion. But then LaKisha comes out and tries to sing it, and something is horribly wrong. I'm no music expert, so I can't tell you what it is. Let's hear from the judges. Randy: "some pitch problems." Paula thinks maybe she couldn't hear the band. Simon: "It's like eating a hamburger for breakfast." It felt like she was shouting.
Chris is doing a song called "Mayberry." He's got "country roots." Martina likes it. AGH! My ears! What a harsh, ugly edge to his voice. I'm guessing that there's a way to sing this song that has charm, but he hasn't found it. It's just a crazy mess. Simon: "A very nondescript, nasally, tinny vocal, which had no impact on me at all." I agree. Just a little, I suspect they're being extra hard on him to help LaKisha out of a jam. Because 'round about now, LaKisha looks doomed! All we've got left are Blake and Melissa, and they are the two best, most likely.
Chris defends himself, hilariously: "Hey, nasally is a form of singing. I don't know if you knew that." Simon: "Oh, so it's intentional?" Chris: "Yeah." Then he defends himself a bit underhandedly: "My heart goes out to Virginia Tech. I have a lot of friends out there. Be strong." Does LaKisha get to come back out and say that she cares about the massacre victims too? Or, once you bring up the massacre, does it seem wrong even to talk about whether Chris is being unfair by bringing up the massacre?
Melinda sings something about Trouble being a woman in tight blue jeans or with a man on her mind or some such thing. Hm! Who knew? I thought Trouble was Senator Byrd's shih tzu. Anyway, they all love her. Simon says he "saw a little Tina Turner." But she's got to lose that attitude of surprise that she has every week... as if she's always just finding out for the first time that she's any good.
Blake is going to do "When the Stars Go Blue." Country is out of his zone. He needs to relax, says Martina. He needs to get to a softer falsetto and do it in a "really pretty way." He does okay.
I'll put them in order, based on tonight's performances alone: Melinda, Jordin, Blake, Phil, Sanjaya, LaKisha, Chris.
April 12, 2007
Haley's gone.
Sanjaya remains. I'm amused, Googling for news of last night's "American Idol" results, to see that every story highlighted what happened to Sanjaya, which was what happened to every contestant other than Haley Scarnato: nothing.
This season's show is pretty boring, and the contestants just aren't that good. The focus on Sanjaya is supposed to distract us from that.
I know, I know. I watch. That is, I TiVo'd through an hour show in 10 minutes.
This season's show is pretty boring, and the contestants just aren't that good. The focus on Sanjaya is supposed to distract us from that.
[T]o help pad things out for the full hour, Ryan Seacrest performs man-on-the-street interviews, lending even more credence to the fact that SANJAYA IS FOR THE CHILDREN.... The last spot at the center of the stage comes down to Sanjaya or Chris, and after some tooling around and making Sanjaya even more the center of attention than he usually is, beautiful Chris is sent to join the other two....I'm not sufficiently distracted. Sanjaya is not bad enough for it to be bizarre that he's there -- and the others aren't so fantastic that it's obvious they deserve to be there. The whole thing is getting old, and at this point we're being played by Fox for ratings.
I know, I know. I watch. That is, I TiVo'd through an hour show in 10 minutes.
March 29, 2007
"Malakar is the rare male performer who relies so utterly on styling."
Robin Givhan on Sanjaya Malakar. (She's the WaPo fashion writer. He's the "American Idol" guy with the smile and the hair and the voice that was good back before the competition narrowed.)
You know, I love the show "Survivor," and the reason I love it is that it's a contest without rules. The contestants are trying to survive a sequence of votes and be the last person standing. Although there are various challenges along the way with specific rules, you can only win immunity. To actually win the show, you have to do something -- who knows what will work this time? -- that will leave you as the last one standing. You have to invent a way to win. Often the "survivors" have to remind themselves that "this is a game." It's a game, but what is the game? Just: to win.
"American Idol" can be like that too. You can have a strategy of being the best singer, but there are many other possible strategies. The least creative one is to simply sing well. That's not much fun. I like a contestant who comes up with an unusual strategy. I loved Jonny Fairplay, who devised a villain persona, and got to the final 3 in the Pearl Islands season of "Survivor." He came up with some cool strategies.
So give Sanjaya his due. It takes real nerve and style and charm to do what he's doing. He could try just a little harder with the singing, but since it drives folks mad that he's playing the game the way he is, it's part of a strategy. It gets Vote for the Worst votes. Why not snag those votes too?
ADDED: Andrew Sullivan endorses voting for Sanjaya on the vote for the worst concept because he wants to "subvert" the "far too self-important show." But I invite him to think more deeply about the positive side of Sanjaya, and the show's long-term homophobic edge. Not only do Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell continually taunt each other with references to homosexuality, but also Simon has for years acted squeamish about the less-than-fully-masculine male contestants. His hostility toward Clay Aiken was monumental. I think there is a similar issue here, where Sanjaya is setting off the old aversions. I think any young guy who would fit the David Cassidy niche so loved by young girls would tend to evoke homophobia in some people. Call them on it by supporting Sanjaya. And this is not meant to imply that I have any opinion about whether Sanjaya is gay. I don't. I'm not good at detecting whether people are actually gay, but I think I'm pretty good at raising questions about whether people are homophobic.
[His hair] has been pin-curled into a thick mop of ringlets, slicked straight as if it had been fried by a Japanese perm and, most recently, scooped into a single row of upswept ponytails to create a faux mohawk....And what's so bad about that? Young girls feel their affection for boys, not men. It's not easy to hit exactly the right zone. You could say that what's bad about Sanjaya's success on "American Idol" is that there are other competitors who are doing something more deserving of the win? Simon likes to say: "It's a singing contest." But it's an idol contest. And it's harder to be the boy young girls love -- to be David Cassidy or Peter Noone -- than it is to sing beautifully like Melinda Doolittle and LaKisha Jones.
As America's ears bleed, it sounds as though Malakar no longer is attempting to sing -- that is, to enunciate lyrics while simultaneously carrying a tune. How can he compete with Lakisha Jones, whose lusty voice could blow out woofers, tweeters and everything in between?
So Malakar has given himself over to style. Substance, what little of it there is on "American Idol," be damned....
At 17, Malakar does not ooze testosterone. He has a slight build that never fills out his studiously hipster clothes -- such as his graffiti blazer from Lulu last week. He typically looks as though he has been borrowing his wardrobe from a grown-up. When he is onstage, he gives no indication that he can dance. And when he races into the audience, one worries that at any moment he will trip over his shoelaces. Historically, he can be compared to Shaun Cassidy or Leif Garrett -- Tiger Beat regulars with bland voices but splendidly tousled hair....
You know, I love the show "Survivor," and the reason I love it is that it's a contest without rules. The contestants are trying to survive a sequence of votes and be the last person standing. Although there are various challenges along the way with specific rules, you can only win immunity. To actually win the show, you have to do something -- who knows what will work this time? -- that will leave you as the last one standing. You have to invent a way to win. Often the "survivors" have to remind themselves that "this is a game." It's a game, but what is the game? Just: to win.
"American Idol" can be like that too. You can have a strategy of being the best singer, but there are many other possible strategies. The least creative one is to simply sing well. That's not much fun. I like a contestant who comes up with an unusual strategy. I loved Jonny Fairplay, who devised a villain persona, and got to the final 3 in the Pearl Islands season of "Survivor." He came up with some cool strategies.
So give Sanjaya his due. It takes real nerve and style and charm to do what he's doing. He could try just a little harder with the singing, but since it drives folks mad that he's playing the game the way he is, it's part of a strategy. It gets Vote for the Worst votes. Why not snag those votes too?
ADDED: Andrew Sullivan endorses voting for Sanjaya on the vote for the worst concept because he wants to "subvert" the "far too self-important show." But I invite him to think more deeply about the positive side of Sanjaya, and the show's long-term homophobic edge. Not only do Ryan Seacrest and Simon Cowell continually taunt each other with references to homosexuality, but also Simon has for years acted squeamish about the less-than-fully-masculine male contestants. His hostility toward Clay Aiken was monumental. I think there is a similar issue here, where Sanjaya is setting off the old aversions. I think any young guy who would fit the David Cassidy niche so loved by young girls would tend to evoke homophobia in some people. Call them on it by supporting Sanjaya. And this is not meant to imply that I have any opinion about whether Sanjaya is gay. I don't. I'm not good at detecting whether people are actually gay, but I think I'm pretty good at raising questions about whether people are homophobic.
August 25, 2006
Why we love "Project Runway."
Entertainment Weekly has a big cover story on "Project Runway." I'm thinking you might need to subscribe to actually go to it. They try to puzzle out why the show is so great, why lots of people who weren't already interested in sewing or fashion love it so much. They come up with five reasons:
EW probes into the question whether the producers pick the winners and whether the choice has to do with the entertainment value of characters like Santino and Vincent. Nina Garcia assures us that she'd "mutiny" if the producers pushed her around.
Possible topic for the comments: personages on TV that you're not sure are all that good, but epitomize the show in some way that makes you completely attached to them.
1. It never should have worked in the first place....But the producers gave it a chance anyway on the condition it didn't end up being "people in black, talking about designing a gown with, you know, a birdcage and a clock woven into someone's Marie Antoinette wig."
2. It features the smartest, most creative challenges on TV....As the guy with the tattoo on his neck, Jeffrey Sebelia, puts it ''We're not eating cow's balls or having to survive in the jungle with one book of matches and a bottle of water.'' Exactly! Yeah, there's no career in "cow" ball eating. Aw, leave our darling tattoo boy alone! It's not that it's hard to tell a cow from a bull, but it's funny to act like you don't give a damn.
3. The judges reward actual talent....
EW probes into the question whether the producers pick the winners and whether the choice has to do with the entertainment value of characters like Santino and Vincent. Nina Garcia assures us that she'd "mutiny" if the producers pushed her around.
4. The contestants aren't pathetic, fame-seeking narcissists.Except the ones who are. The work is too hard and specialized to bring in lightweights.
5. Tim Gunn makes it work.Of course, Tim Gunn. (Here's Project Rungay's tribute to him.) We like those other regulars too, though, don't we? Aren't you a Nina Garcia fan? And what about Heidi? I was asked if I liked her. I said I didn't know, but she was just such a part of the show -- like Ryan Seacrest on "American Idol" -- that I just don't like to think of the show without her. I want to hear her piercing voice to announce the next loser. It seems like it has to be.
Possible topic for the comments: personages on TV that you're not sure are all that good, but epitomize the show in some way that makes you completely attached to them.
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