Even as a composite? Might it not be fake, but accurate? Performative authenticity?

Oh... MY... GOD...

So Chuck Schumer has spent his entire career telling a story about a Long Island couple...

The only thing is... THEY DONT EXIST!!!! THEY ARENT REAL pic.twitter.com/dgmWLKvqwC

— kevin smith (@kevin_smith45) August 12, 2025

It's hard to think of other examples of a politician creating characters with actual names to spice up the rhetoric. I thought of John Edwards's little girl without a coat — "a 10-year-old little girl will go to bed hungry, hoping and praying that tomorrow will not be as cold as today because she doesn't have the coat to keep her warm" — but she didn't have a name. There was the name Julia, in Barack Obama's "Life of Julia," but she wasn't presented as a real person, just a cartoon everywoman.

"Ya know, it keeps gettin' worse...."

Did Chuck Schumer always drop his G's like that?

Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) blatantly lies and says DOGE cuts are being used to pay for the $200M White House ballroom.

In reality, President Trump and private donors are paying for the ballroom.

All Schumer does is lie, lie, and lie.pic.twitter.com/KeQ04qxwOH

— Paul A. Szypula 🇺🇸 (@Bubblebathgirl) August 1, 2025

"They're gonna spend 2 effin' hundred million dollars" — yeah, 200 effin' million dollars of donated money.

There are 4 more dropped G's in that clip and it's only 26 seconds long. 

"She is the Rosetta stone. She knows everything. She arranged every single trip, and if she was just given… immunity, she could be compelled to testify."

Said Alan Dershowitz, quoted in "Trump’s MAGA allies zero in on Ghislaine Maxwell as Epstein furor persists/The intensifying focus on Ghislaine Maxwell represents the latest turn in a winding case that has long been a focus of conspiracy theorists" (NYT).

I'm sure her testimony is valuable, but I see at least 5 problems with the Dershowitz assertion: 1. She may have misunderstood or misperceived what she witnessed when she witnessed it. 2. She will have forgotten some things, 3. She may misremember when she attempts to recall when she is questioned now, 4. She has so much reason now to lie, distort, or at least shape her story to serve her obvious self-interest, 5. Arranging a trip doesn't mean that you know everything that happens everywhere on the plane and at the destination.

ADDED: I know what I've listed are typical problems, and of course, Professor Dershowitz know what they are, but he's the one who chose to say: "She knows everything."

"But as Conor Cruise O’Brien, an Irish writer and politician, noted, 'Antisemitism is a light sleeper.' It tends to re-emerge..."

"... when societies become polarized and people go looking for somebody to blame. This pattern helps explain why antisemitism began rising, first in Europe and then in the United States, in the 2010s, around the same time that politics coarsened.... The political right, including President Trump, deserves substantial blame....  Mr. Trump himself praised as 'very fine people' the attendees of a 2017 march in Charlottesville, Va., that featured the chant 'Jews will not replace us.' On Jan. 6, 2021, at least one rioter attacking the Capitol screamed that he was looking for 'the big Jew,' referring to Senator Chuck Schumer of New York, Mr. Schumer has said.... Joe Rogan, the podcaster who endorsed Mr. Trump last year, has hosted Holocaust conspiracy theorists on his show. Mr. Rogan once said of Jews, 'They run everything.'... [Antisemitism also] has a home on the progressive left.... They have failed to denounce antisemitism in the unequivocal ways that they properly denounce other bigotry.... Americans should be able to recognize the nuanced nature of many political debates while also recognizing that antisemitism has become an urgent problem. It is a different problem — and in many ways, a narrower one — than racism. Antisemitism has not produced shocking gaps in income, wealth and life expectancy in today’s America. Yet the new antisemitism has left Jewish Americans at a greater risk of being victimized by a hate crime than any other group.... No political arguments or ideological context can justify that bigotry...."

From The Editorial Board of the New York Times, "Antisemitism Is an Urgent Problem. Too Many People Are Making Excuses."

"This guy from the counter yells at me and tells me, 'You’re not going to make this flight. Give it to somebody. Get rid of it.'"

"I said, 'No way, I’m not going to get rid of my baby.'"

Said Maria Fraterrigo, 81, quoted in "Grandmother Is Stranded When Her Parrot ‘Plucky’ Can’t Board Flight/Plucky, an African gray parrot, accompanied its owner on a Frontier Airlines flight to Puerto Rico in January. But a gate agent would not let it on board the return flight" (NYT).

Once they let her fly out with the animal, it was unfair not to allow her to return with it. It's one thing to say "Give it to somebody, get rid of it" about a newt or a gecko, but this was a parrot. Those things have some individuality and personality, especially from the viewpoint of the owner. They talk. And they live a long time. Plucky is 24.

And whether you support the "emotional support animal" loophole or not, the airline owed her consistency within a single round trip. 

The woman's ordeal made the news and politicians, including Chuck Schumer, got into the game and pressured the airline. A Frontier spokesperson said "Parrots do not qualify as emotional support animals under our policies nor those of any other U.S. airline that we are aware of," but "We are pleased to have enabled Plucky’s return to New York," and "We apologize for any confusion that may have occurred with respect to our policies.”

"I told them not to worry, nobody does self-deprecating better than I do."

Said Donald Trump at the Gridiron Dinner in 2018. Supposedly, there was worry that he might not be able to fit the tradition of Presidents being self-deprecating.

Last night was this year's Gridiron Dinner, and he wasn't there at all: "At Gridiron Dinner, Jokes About Trump, Musk and Russia Abound/But President Trump wasn’t around to hear any of the barbs thrown at the annual D.C. event" (NYT). I read that NYT article so you don't have to. Sounds like the NYT is also tired of it:

Even after all these years, jokes about Mr. Trump and Russia still play with the official Washington crowd. Those in the Hyatt basement, which was packed with reporters, editors, television anchors and ambassadors, laughed along.... The PBS journalist Judy Woodruff opened up the room with jokes about Mr. Musk’s fathering so many children and Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth’s drinking....  One of the less successful acts centered on two men pretending to be the House minority leader, Hakeem Jeffries, and Mr. Schumer, the Senate minority leader, covered in leaves. “Lost in the woods” was the chorus. (“No one cares about your pronouns when you’re lost in the woods.”).... Another act had a mock Usha Vance singing about being a phony populist....

Fake outrage, isn't it?

I'm reading, among other things, "Young Democrats’ Anger Boils Over as Schumer Retreats on Shutdown/A generational divide, seen in newer lawmakers’ impatience with bipartisanship and for colleagues who don’t understand new media, has emerged as one of the deepest rifts within the party" (NYT)(free-access link).

The Democrats have to make a show of fighting Trump, but Schumer's move was more important anti-Trumpism, and I think they all know it:

On Thursday, Mr. Schumer explained his decision to vote to keep the government open in an opinion piece in The New York Times, a version of which he read on the Senate floor.

“As bad as passing the continuing resolution would be, I believe a government shutdown is far worse,” Mr. Schumer wrote.

From the written opinion piece:

"Senators Chuck Schumer, Elizabeth Warren, and Cory Booker released videos on their social media accounts simultaneously, using identical scripts..."

"... to criticize former President Donald Trump's policies on economic management and social issues. The videos claim that under Trump's leadership, inflation and costs of living have increased, while he allegedly prioritized pardons for violent criminals and allowed for data privacy concerns. This coordinated effort highlights a strategic messaging tactic within political discourse.".

So says a summary of X posts.

Listen to the chorus:

Chuck Schumer, Elizabeth Warren and Cory Booker posted identical videos—word for word—right before Trump’s speech. pic.twitter.com/1iYUuuhaEN

— Libs of TikTok (@libsoftiktok) March 4, 2025

It's ludicrous. But that got our attention and made it viral. And yet, I think that what is viral is the fakeness — the rote performance — and not the substantive message. I watched the whole thing intently, but I didn't notice what they said, only the bizarre overlap.

It reminded me of my favorite sequence in one of my favorite movies — "The Idea of North" (in "32 Short Films About Glenn Gould"):

"Let's just take Superbowl Sunday. Mmkay? It's gonna affect beer. Mmkay? Most of it — Corona, here — comes from Mexico. It's gonna affect your guac. Because what is guacamole made of? Avocados. Both from Mexico."

Chuck Schumer claims that President Trump's tariffs will raise the price of beer because "most of it comes from Mexico" while holding a can of corona.

This might be the most embarrassing thing I've ever seen a politician do lmfao. pic.twitter.com/z4Z0W22gUe

— Greg Price (@greg_price11) February 3, 2025

Chuck Schumer is attempting to lure Americans away from Trump by tempting us with the humble indulgences beer and guacamole — drinking and snacking — paired with watching television. But even if Americans were hopelessly addicted to these fattening pleasures, we could still, easily, choose a non-Mexican beer and serve those tortilla chips with melted cheese instead of that avocado paste. That might work out well for Wisconsin — home of beer and cheese — and quite badly for Mexico. What is it going to do with all those avocados if we say we'd rather push for Mexico to help us with the border problem than continue to mindlessly consume that that green goo... that sludge... that guck... 

This is fresh fruit, farmed in vast quantity in Mexico, where it will rot if not sold. What am I missing? We will easily win this trade war. And I'm sure Schumer knows all this and is embarrassed to be smarmily plying us with a beer and an avocado.

By the way, Americans didn't use to care about avocados at all. Here's an 2015 article in The Atlantic — "The Selling of the Avocado/How the 'alligator pear' went from obscure delicacy to America's favorite fruit":

Jon Stewart mocks anti-Trumpers for overdoing their accusations of fascism.

"The constant drumbeat of encroaching fascism will erode the credibility we will need if — hopefully if and not when — it hits. But the truth is that for now, his most objectionable actions have taken place almost entirely within our designed Democratic system.... Look, I really hope that Democrats figure out a way to contain this guy.... How would you use this power?... Tell people what you would do with the power that Trump is wielding and then convince us to give that power to you...  Enough with the 'He's Hitler'...  What would you fucking do?"

Exactly. I love Stewart's reset for the new Trump era. 

"Leader Schumer, what do you say to Americans who feel as though you and other top Democrats misled them about President Biden's mental acuity?"

Chuck Schumer is confronted on NBC for covering up Biden's mental health decline.

Never forget: The Democratic Party knew that Biden wasn't competent enough to be president and hid the truth from Americans for four years.

Democrats do not care about Americans. It's that simple. pic.twitter.com/4sJbzMPi4C

— Kyle Becker (@kylenabecker) January 5, 2025

"No. Look, we didn't. And let's – let’s look – let’s look at President Biden. He's had an amazing record. The legislation we passed, one of the most significant groups of legislation since the New Deal – since Lyndon Johnson's Great Society, putting in 235 judges, a record. And he's a patriot. He's a great guy. And when he stepped down, he did it on his own because he thought it was better not only for the Democratic Party, for America. We should all salute him. We should all salute him."

The question was "What do you say to Americans who feel as though" we were lied to. The question was framed to exclude an assertion about what you supposedly really did. But you gave that kind of response anyway — the nonresponsive response. Why'd you do that? It wasn't believable. It was a bald-faced lie about a bald-faced lie. It didn't even address us, the people — people with feelings about what you did. You just went off on a screwy rant that ended with a demand that we salute Joe Biden.

Salute the President? And they say Trump supporters seem like fascists.

ADDED: Here's the transcript. In case you are questioning whether Schumer said "We should all salute him" twice. 

At the Al Smith charity dinner — Trump was there, and Kamala Harris was not.

There were far more Democrats than Trump fans there, but Harris stayed away, though they let her appear as a pre-recorded video (in which she off-loaded the comedy to Molly Shannon, who deployed her old SNL Catholic schoolgirl character, and I couldn't hear any laughter in the room). 

Trump sat there — between Melania and the Cardinal — and laughed at gibes from Jim Gaffigan, who plays Tim Walz on SNL. Gaffigan is funny — and Catholic — and he handled his task well. Scroll to 2:25 to see him step up to speak as the camera pans to Donald Trump, who knows he's going to get kicked around and is sitting facing the audience, with only the Cardinal and Chuck Schumer between him and Gaffigan. But he knows he's not the one who chickened out and he knows he's going to get the last word.

Here is my selection and ranking of Jim Gaffigan's Top 7 jokes:

7.  "This room is is undeniably impressive... the prestige, the wealth, the allegations. I mean, wow, and don't feel bad if you don't have any allegations yet, okay, which reminds me Letitia James is here. She had a great year. She's just back there watching all of you. She's watching."

6. "This event has been referred to as the Catholic Met Gala. 22% of Americans identify as Catholic. Catholics will be a key demographic in every battleground state. I'm sorry: Why is Vice President Harris not here?... This is a layup for the Democratic nominee. I mean, in her defense I mean she did find time to appear on 'The View,' Howard Stern, and the long-time staple of campaigning the 'Call Her Daddy' podcast."

5. "You have to admit the Democrats have done an amazing job rebranding Vice President Harris.... The term 'Joyful Warrior' was used so many times at the Democratic Convention. I felt like I was at a yoga retreat. Let's start off in a Joyful Warrior pose and then go straight into Downward-Facing Doug."

4. "I watch that [video appearance of Kamala Harris]... I couldn't help but think of: Now I know how my kids felt when... I FaceTimed into a piano recital."

3. "I don't know if you've heard about these people who publicly say they would never vote for Trump, but then when they go in the voting booth, they do. It's a small group. They're called the Biden family."

2. "Joe Biden was our second Catholic President, right after JFK. President Biden couldn't be here tonight. The DNC made sure of that."

1. "The Democrats have been telling us Trump's reelection is a threat to democracy. In fact, they were so concerned of this threat, they staged a coup, outed their democratically elected incumbent and installed Kamala Harris."

AND NOW: Here is my selection and ranking of Donald Trump's Top 7 jokes comedic riffs:

7. "A major issue in this race is child care, and Kamala has put forward a concept of a plan.... The only piece of advice I would have for her in the event that she wins would be not to let her husband Doug anywhere near the nannies. Just keep them away. That's a nasty one. That's nasty. I told these idiots that gave me this stuff, that's too tough."

6. "When I heard that Kamala was skipping the Al Smith Dinner, I'd really hoped that she would come because we can't get enough of hearing her beautiful laugh. She laughs like crazy. We would recognize it anyplace — in this room."

5. "You can't do what I just saw on that screen, but my opponent feels like she does not have to be here, which is deeply disrespectful to the event and in particular to our great Catholic Community.... The last Democrat not to attend this important event was Walter Mondale, and it did not go very well for him.... Shows you there is a God.... I understand the real reason that she's not here is she's hunting with her running mate — spending a lot of time hunting...."

4. "It's a true pleasure to be with you this evening — amazing pleasure... really a pleasure to be anywhere in New York without a subpoena.... Anytime I don't get a subpoena, I'm very happy. They've gone after me. Mr. Mayor, you're peanuts compared to what they've done to me. And you're going to be okay."

3. "All polls are indicating I'm leading big with a Catholic vote. As I should be. But I don't think Kamala has given up yet.... Instead of attending tonight she's in Michigan receiving communion from Gretchen Whitmer."

2. "If Democrats really wanted to have someone not be with us this evening they would have just sent Joe Biden."

1. "A good job tradition holds that I'm supposed to tell a few self-deprecating jokes this evening, so here it goes. Nope, I've got nothing I've got nothing. There's nothing to say. I guess I just don't see the point of taking shots at myself when other people have been shooting at me for a hell of a long time. They shoot, right? You know, they say about presidents, they say that Andrew Jackson was the President that was the most meanly treated. His wife died, she died of heartache. She was heartbroken at the way they treated him. And they say that second was Abraham Lincoln, but he was in charge of the Civil War, you know, so but those were the two... up until me. Now, they say it's not even close. There's never been a president that's been treated so badly as me. And now, people aren't happy about it, but I was treated a little bit rough, but I don't mind it somehow, and I think it's just part of the game."

"Calm down people, it is not raw/cold, it is a veggie burger patty underneath a slice of tofu."

Said Chuck Schumer [CORRECTION: No, just some random commenter], quoted in "Chuck Schumer deletes Father’s Day photo tweet in front of grill after critics slam his spatula skills" (NY Post).

Oh, Chuck! Stand up for yourself. 

"There are these rare moments of honesty"... like Chuck Schumer's "6 ways from Sunday."

The referenced Schumer clip:

What was "deeply good" about Harry Reid?

"Few people have done more for this state and this country than this driven, brilliant, sometimes irascible, deeply good man from Searchlight, Nevada."

Said Barack Obama, quoted in the Washington Post account of yesterday's memorial service for Reid.

It's the "deeply" that gets you. It draws so much attention to "good." We might have let it go — was Harry Reid good? — if "deeply" hadn't forced us to stop and stare.

I haven't used my "deeply (the word!)" tag since last May.

Here's the original post — in 2014 — where I created the tag.

There are so many trite usages — deeply in love, deeply disappointed, deeply religious, thinking deeply, deeply troubled, deeply concerned, deeply offended, deeply regret — and "deeply" is deeply embedded in constitutional law doctrine with the phrase "deeply rooted in this nation's history and tradition."

I went back into my own archive to see how I had used it over the years and, funnily enough, the first thing on my list was about something Obama famously said about Kamala Harris:

1. "Beauty is a system of power, deeply rooted, preceding all others, richly rewarded," wrote Garace Franke-Ruta, explaining "Why Obama's 'Best-Looking Attorney General' Comment Was a Gaffe."...

Oh, what's not a gaffe these days? 

But back to the memorial service. Biden and Pelosi spoke too, and both of them told a joke premised on the reputation Reid had for being untalkative. 

Here's Biden joke : "Harry and I both liked to talk a lot... I’m just testing whether you’re asleep yet."

Here's Pelosi's: "He was a man of few words — and he wanted everyone else to be a person of few words."

They kept it light. There was an opportunity to go much lighter on the man-of-few-words theme — man of even fewer words now, ha ha — or to go much more deeply....

But I won't end with the end of Hamlet. I will lighten up and give Chuck Schumer the last word, because who doesn't love kissing and because I have a "saliva" tag that I get a kick out of using:

It was election night 2006, when Democrat Claire McCaskill won her race in Missouri, a victory that gave control of the Senate to Democrats, and Reid rushed over and kissed McCaskill through the television screen.

“His lips remained attached to the TV screen for a full 10 seconds,” Schumer said. “I had to get up and wipe the copious spittle off the TV screen.”

"Climb aboard the Almost Heaven, which is somewhere between a trawler and a yacht, big and boxy."

"Step inside the cabin and marvel at the creature comforts: a semicircular, plush-leather couch with a matching ottoman, glass cabinets trimmed with dark wood, a marble dining-room table with thick white candles... Below deck, the master bedroom is cozy but well-appointed.... There's a guest room.... Up on the party deck, amid the wrought-iron chairs and tables with umbrellas, you might see Trump-allied Sen. Tommy Tuberville (R-Ala.), just months removed from objecting to President Biden’s election, talking college football with Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg. 'Pete’s from Notre Dame,' said Tuberville.... On one evening cruise, some years back, Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska) was so moved by the picturesque Washington skyline that she began singing 'God Bless America.'....  Senate Majority Leader Charles E. Schumer (D-N.Y.), an Almost Heaven regular, has regaled fellow passengers with 'American Pie.'... 'All I’m saying is I don’t think our Founding Fathers anticipated the survival of this democratic experiment to rest in the hands of a man who lives in a house boat,' Jenna Valle-Riestra, a press secretary for the Senate Judiciary Committee wrote in a now-deleted tweet...  [The boat is] a place where deals can be floated and bills can get watered down. Where trust can live, if fleetingly, among people whose constituents don’t trust each other at all.... For some that sounds like Almost Heaven. For other’s that’s just a nice way to describe living in limbo."

 From "Washington’s hottest club is Joe Manchin’s houseboat" (WaPo).

The name of the boat is the first 2 words of John Denver's beloved song about Joe Manchin's state. 

Does Manchin actually live on the boat? Yes, it is his residence when he is in Washington, The Washingtonian reported back in February: "Manchin lives on a boat because he doesn’t like living here." Republicans attacked him for owning an expensive boat, but it was cheap compared to the price of land-based housing in Washington.  

And John Denver didn't write that song, and the song wasn't really written about West Virginia! It's about Gaithersburg, Maryland or maybe Massachusetts:

"Public opinion suggests there’s widespread bipartisan support for liberalizing cannabis laws, but that shift hasn’t translated to the Senate..."

"Schumer has several reluctant members within his own caucus and will have to scrounge up at least 10 Republican votes for the legislation during an already chaotic Senate calendar filled with Biden administration priorities on infrastructure, police accountability and education. Schumer would also need to corner President Joe Biden — who has supported decriminalizing marijuana but not legalizing it — to sign the bill.... The discussion draft of the Cannabis Administration and Opportunity Act includes provisions that cater to both 'states rights' Republicans and progressive Democrats. While the proposal seeks to remove all federal penalties on weed, it would allow states to prohibit even the possession of cannabis — along with production and distribution — a nod to states’ rights.... Federal weed legalization is dicey at best, especially given the more pressing concerns of infrastructure spending and pandemic recovery." 

From "Schumer launches long-shot bid for legal weed/The majority leader backs marijuana legalization, but he still needs to convince his party, Republicans and even the president" (Politico).

It's a nice distraction from "the more pressing concerns of infrastructure spending and pandemic recovery." Schumer is cuing up a distinct accomplishment that can be grabbed if they choose. 

I'd like to see this pass if only to restore order. It's chaotic for various states to be operating as if marijuana is legal when it is outlawed at the federal level.

"We are deeply disappointed in this decision. We are not going to give up the fight to raise the minimum wage to $15 to help millions of struggling American workers..."

"... and their families. The American people deserve it, and we are committed to making it a reality." 

Said Chuck Schumer, quoted in "Biden’s minimum wage increase runs afoul of budget rules/The Senate parliamentarian has issued a ruling that could jeopardize the rest of the president’s $1.9 trillion Covid relief package" (Politico).

Speaking of reality, do you think he's really disappointed? I imagine he's relieved. He and his party have the benefit of looking as though they tried and the benefit of not having the potentially deleterious policy actually imposed on us.

"We’re glad Senator McConnell threw in the towel and gave up on his ridiculous demand. We look forward to organizing the Senate under Democratic control and start getting big, bold things done for the American people."

Said Justin Goodman, a spokesman for Mr. Schumer, quoted in "McConnell Relents in First Filibuster Skirmish, but the War Rages On/Senator Mitch McConnell dropped his demand that Democrats promise to preserve the procedural weapon that can grind the Senate to a halt, but with President Biden’s agenda in the balance, the fight is not over" (NYT).

Senator Mitch McConnell... had refused to agree to a plan for organizing the chamber without a pledge from Democrats to protect the filibuster, a condition that Mr. Schumer had rejected. But late Monday, as the stalemate persisted, Mr. McConnell found a way out by pointing to statements by two centrist Democrats, Senators Joe Manchin III of West Virginia and Kyrsten Sinema of Arizona, that said they opposed getting rid of the procedural tool — a position they had held for months — as enough of a guarantee to move forward without a formal promise from Mr. Schumer.... 

As they press forward on Mr. Biden’s agenda, Democrats will come under mounting pressure from activists to jettison the rule....  “I feel pretty damn strongly, but I will also tell you this: I am here to get things done,” said Jon Tester, Democrat of Montana. “If all that happens is filibuster after filibuster, roadblock after roadblock, then my opinion may change.”...

We were just talking about Tester. Remember? He's the Senator who brings his own meat to Washington and wants to "get shit done."

Democrats say they must retain at least the threat that they could one day end the filibuster, arguing that bowing to Mr. McConnell’s demand now would only have emboldened Republicans to deploy it constantly, without fear of retaliation. “Well that’s a nonstarter because if we gave him that, then the filibuster would be on everything, every day,” Senator Richard J. Durbin of Illinois, the No. 2 Senate Democrat, said Sunday on NBC’s “Meet the Press."  

Ah! That makes the most sense of it all. Democrats want the threat of abolishing the filibuster, and Republicans are moderated by the threat alone. Notice that actually to change the rule would require every single Democratic Senator to agree and a tiebreaker vote from Kamala Harris would still be needed. That's a lot of cohesion. 

Kyrsten Sinema is up for reelection in 2024, and she took over a seat that had been held by a Republican. The other Democratic Senator who faces reelection in 2024 and who beat a Republican incumbent in 2018 is Jacky Rosen. We don't hear much from her. As for Manchin, he's been in the Senate longer — since 2011, after the seat was vacated by the death of the Democrat/Klansman Robert Byrd (a historic filibusterer) — but Manchin too is up for reelection in 2024, and I think McConnell knows he can count on Manchin not to vote against the filibuster. 

"We all want to put this awful chapter in our nation’s history behind us. But healing and unity will only come if there is truth and accountability."

Said Chuck Schumer, quoted in "Schumer agrees to two-week delay of Trump’s impeachment trial/The ex-president's second trial is now set to begin the week of Feb. 8" (Politico). 

Is there truth in those sentences? 

"We all want to put this awful chapter in our nation’s history behind us." 

Who is "we"? The Senators or the people? I don't think he'd say "All we Senators want to put this awful chapter in our nation’s history behind us." That would be enraging. More than 74 million people voted for Trump, and the point of the impeachment, now that he is out of office, is to disqualify him from running for office again — to deprive the people of the option of ever voting for him. It's flatly wrong to assert that we all want Trump powerfully and absolutely excluded from electoral politics.

But what is "this awful chapter" that we are told we all want "to put... behind us"? The past is always behind us (assuming you use the conventional metaphor that time is a walk and we're facing forward), but there's some fuzzy idea of doing something to the past that makes it more behind us — resolved somehow or less accessible. But if the point of the trial is to bar Trump from running for office, Schumer is talking about manipulating the future, not alienating us from the past. 

What is the "awful chapter"? Is it the January 6th attack on the Capitol or is it the entire Trump presidency? We all deplore Trump and want to sever him from our understanding of ourselves? But obviously we don't all want that. Biden enters the presidency with a poll — from Rasmussen — that has the exact same percentages of approval and disapproval that Trump had on his last day — 48% approve, 45% disapprove. 

Of course, Schumer is explaining waiting until February 8th. The next sentence is: 

"But healing and unity will only come if there is truth and accountability." 

The implication is that by spending 2 weeks prepping for trial — after the House voted without taking any time at all — we'll get a proceeding that will deliver "truth and accountability." Another way to read that sentence is that there will never be healing and unity, because it will only come if there is truth and accountability, and that's not going to happen. Who believes the 2 weeks will be used to ensure that the trial is centered on the truth? 

And isn't the delay designed to give President Biden a little time to establish himself in the presidential role, to bask in the positive light the media are shining on him, before the harsh spotlight returns to Trump and it's all about "this awful chapter"?