"6am My little ladies wake up and I make their breakfast—green milk (almond milk with coconut water, banana and steamed baby spinach) and either whole wheat French toast or pancakes. I usually run downstairs to get dressed while they eat and then I get them dressed and do their hair...."
From a Forbes article titled "The Morning Routines of 12 Women Leaders."
Nice to see Forbes covering the achievements of women.
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I assume it is the undisclosed thirteenth woman leader who wakes up and gives her husband a blowjob. Take the day by the horns, as it were.
Enjoli.
I am Laslo.
4:45am: Get up and immediately go back to bed because it's way too early.
- From The Morning Rituals of 12 Less Ambitious Women
My skeptical meter contends this is the schedule they wished they kept.
Nice to see Forbes covering the achievements of women.
Can you point to a similar affirming article on single father leaders?
Only 4 of the 12 women mentioned a husband...
Ugh. So... women leaders are neurotic and insufferable?
Blah. Better to be my 'free-lance, work-at-home, easy-going slacker' self. I mean, sure, they may earn a lot of money and have a lot of power, but.... what is money good for if you're getting up at dawn eating Quinoa for breakfast?
I thought fabulous wealth was supposed to equal servants. And GOOD breakfast. And working at the beach.
Sure. This is "have it all" piece.
Getting up a hour early in order to do an hour of yoga seems foolish. It's like you need to spend less time sleeping in order to spend more time getting relaxed. You were asleep. Just sleep. It's the ultimate physical and mental relaxation. If yoga is supposed to be exercise, replace an hour of yoga with 10 minutes of running.
What bullshit!!
This is right up there with dodging sniper rounds on the runway in Kosovo.
My skeptical meter contends this is the schedule they wished they kept.
That's exactly what I was thinking. It's either that, or that lady has something else besides the little blue pill keeping her going.
The ridiculousness described in that excerpt is why so many women have trouble balancing. Stacey Bendet, tell the truth! You wake up at 7:30, shove some cereal in their mouths, do their hair at the stoplights and put your makeup on during your commute. See, the truth will set you free.
6:30 Get up, get dressed
6:35 Take dog out for walk
6:40 Clean out litter box, feed dog and cat
6:45 Eat small bowl of cereal (Joe-Os) with skim milk (bottled); read Paper (Wisconsin State Journal)
7:00 Brush teeth, leave, walk to work
7:30 Read my email.
Getting up a hour early in order to do an hour of yoga seems foolish
To you, maybe. She's getting something out of it, or she wouldn't be doing it.
Oooh, #3 is just as pretentious. Yes, I really needed to know the brand of your sweatpants and that your coffee is fair trade.
But 8,11 and 12 actually sound like real people. Good for them. SO many of these women make three different breakfasts. So time consuming. I don't make more than one thing for breakfast and I DON't have to be at another job in the morning. What gives, ladies?
What was left out was the nanny. The nanny got the children up. The nanny prepped the food. The nanny did the hair.
"Laslo, I need to see you in my office to review the new numbers."
"Yes, Ms. Sexy Boss Lady."
"Thank you -- you can shut the door."
"Sure, Ms. Sexy Boss Lady."
"Laslo, no need to be so formal: just call me "Sexy Boss".
"Will do."
"Say it, Laslo."
"Yes, Sexy Boss."
"I am sorry I am still in my skin-tight yoga clothes with no bra, but I was running late from the gym this morning."
"No problem, Sexy Boss, I hear yoga is good for you."
"Indeed: I am more flexible now than I was when I was a high-school cheerleader and gymnast."
"That's good, indeed."
"Here -- look at these numbers and tell me what you think."
"Well, I haven't had much time to research them..."
"Tell me what you see, Laslo..."
"I see the number '69' over and over and over."
"Do you like '69', Laslo?"
"Ummm.."
"Close the blinds, Laslo."
............
"You ARE limber, Sexy Boss."
"Keef doen wchh oo doen..."
"What was that, Sexy Boss?"
"Sorry: I had my mouth full. Keep doing what you're doing..."
"Yes, Sexy Boss..."
"Laslo, how did you get so good at this?"
"I practice a lot at Mexican restaurants."
"So you know the secret. Tickle the tomato in the taco?"
"MmmmHmmm."
"Lick the sour cream from the end of the burrito? Stretch the cheese in the enchilada?
"MmmmHmmm."
"Suckle the salsa with a finger in the refried beans?"
"Sexy Boss, would you like me to put a finger in the refried beans?"
"Yes, Laslo, yes..."
......................
And that is how I got promoted.
I am Laslo.
"6am My little ladies wake up and I make their breakfast—green milk (almond milk with coconut water, banana and steamed baby spinach).."
Who steams spinach at 6:00 AM?
5:30 Wake up, put away the dishes that dried overnight, eat a banana, drink a glass of orange juice, down a cup of coffee
5:45 30 minute workout
6:15 Brush teeth
6:20 Wake up oldest son, go shower and get dressed
6:45 Write good morning notes for younger kids and wife who get up later
6:50 Say goodbye to oldest son, bike to train
7:15 Check email, RSS feeds on train
Too many of those women use almond milk. A fool and her money are soon parted.
Did they leave out wardrobe choices? If so, why?
MadisonMan said...
6:30 Get up, get dressed
6:35 Take dog out for walk
6:40 Clean out litter box, feed dog and cat
6:45 Eat small bowl of cereal (Joe-Os) with skim milk (bottled); read Paper (Wisconsin State Journal)
7:00 Brush teeth, leave, walk to work
7:30 Read my email.
What are you, some doggy hater?
Give that puppy 20 minutes outside minimum. Let him walk. Let him sniff. Let him _______.
Unless it's 5 degrees, that would be dog abuse.
Somewhere between 3 a.m. and 8 a.m. — Wake up naturally, without an alarm clock.
+30 seconds — check iPhone for weather and news.
When arms get cold or an idea for blogging occurs — get out of bed and get dressed.
In the next 10 minutes — get coffee and fire up the blog.
5:45 Alarm goes off from mobile device. Hit snooze until 6:10
6:11 Take dog out
6:15 Feed dog and cats
6:20 Make coffee, wait for wife to finish shower
6:40 Get in shower, get dressed
7:00 Drive to work
About 3 days a week this gets compressed into 30 minutes.
Tank, the dog is preoccupied on the walk because he knows it's breakfast time when we get back.
It was about 15 this morning, so not quite dog abuse (He did have to walk on salted sidewalks). Tomorrow it's supposed to be near zero.
Today I was lazy and didn't get out of bed 'til 7. Sometimes I get up at 5. The schedule above is the average.
If she's doing the 3rd or 4th series of Ashtanga, she's quite an experienced yogi. So she's doing it because she loves it.
I'm annoyed at her need to describe the healthiness of her food.
I also assume she sleeps in her office during her "Time alone"
"MadisonMan said...
Too many of those women use almond milk. A fool and her money are soon parted."
Never seen tits on an almond.
@MM
Zero?
Yikes, take that doggy to Florida for the winter.
You ever take a crap in zero?
What is wrong with women? Who gets asked to do this and thinks "oh wow, describing my organic breakfast habits in a nationwide magazine will advance my career?" No one, and to me that means these women are doing this solely to show how superior they are to "normal" women - it's the Mommy Wars (or a variation thereof) on steroids.
I blame Gwenyth Paltrow. Her dreadful blog is full of tripe like this, and because of it, these women think someone is interested in reading about their green spinach smoothies and custom crepes.
Wow I'm glad I'm mediocre, if this is what "successful" looks like for women in 2014. They can have it.
Good Lord, what a pack of pretentious douchequeens.
6:35 Take dog out for walk
6:40 Clean out litter box, feed dog and cat
*Five-minute* dog walk? Seriously? My older beagle spends that much time sniffing the first couple of mailboxes on the morning route.
You ever take a crap in zero?
Dude, it steams.
"7:00 Drive to work"
Includes dropping dog off at the nearby horse farm where she lives the farm dog life. For a mere $13, she runs all day with other dogs and sleeps on hay bales. When it's cold they play in the riding arena.
Tari said, ...to me that means these women are doing this solely to show how superior they are to "normal" women
Actually, the majority of the lists seemed quite normal to me.
Maybe the normality is the point.
That's why I posted my itinerary. I think it's better to add data than judge it.
Adjectives seem to be the springboard for judgement. Not just any yoga pants. John Eshaya yoga pants. But so what?
If yoga is supposed to be exercise….
Ashtanga (“eight limbed”) Yoga, aka Raja (“royal”) Yoga or just plain Yoga, is one of the six “schools” of orthodox Hindu philosophy — and as such, based on its “scripture” the Yoga Sutras, yogic practice consists of far more than just “exercises” — indeed, only a couple of the “eight limbs” of Astanga Yoga can be characterized as such.
See Wikipedia for more, and (my recommendation) I.K. Taimni's The Science of Yoga (a translation with commentaries of the Yoga Sutras) for much more.
...sweatpants, I mean. Not Yoga pants.
The brand-name callouts remind me of a certain kind of modern short-story realism, in which the writer uses brand names as a device for characterization. It's a lazy kind of descriptive writing that piggybacks off the hard work of professional designers and copywriters.
I get the feeling Forbes has been trolled by women who don't think it's any of Forbes' damn business what they do in the morning.
Henry-
Come on, you know what Tari was talking about.
You wrote your list, but you didn't add the brand of sweat pants or the organic home grown hand squeezed orangeness of your juice.
You also didn't tell us if you did oil-pulling with organic coconut oil or add any essential oils into your toothbrushing routine.
You are a slacker, Henry. Eat some quinoa.
This morning.
Woke about 7 because #4 was awake. Got him out of bed and went back to my bed to nurse him because I wasn't ready to get up.
Noticed #3 was in bed next to me, asleep. She comes in between 6-6:30 usually. Spouse gets her some milk. She drinks it in bed with us and then (hopefully) falls asleep again. Everyone else is still asleep.
7:05: #1 comes in and sits in the recliner next to the bed. Spouse gets up to get ready for work.
7:15: I tell #1 to get up and get ready and to wake up #2 for school.
7:20 Finish nursing, send baby back to bed. Look into #2's room. See him sitting, naked on the floor, staring at his school clothes. Tell him to get ready.
7:25 Head downstairs and make #1's lunch while Spouse and #1 and #2 eat cranberry cobbler I made night before.
7:35 Prayer with family before Spouse leaves for work (#3 still asleep).
7:40 Make sure #1 and #2 have brushed their teeth. #3 wakes up
7:45 Send #1 and #2 out the door. Get on computer to check email b/c I have an appointment this morning. Decide to check althouse because there's always too many posts in the morning and it's not as fun if I get to them in the afternoon.
8: Crap. Too much althouse.
You are a slacker, Henry. Eat some quinoa.
That made me laugh.
I should have mentioned that I grow my own bananas. In my solarium.
I have to admit, the television writer's contribution is a bit much.
Althouse@9:31am/
LOL. My routine is almost identical to yours except I'm the retired guy on the other end reading your blog posts.
Coconut water!
I'm sure that's full of nutrients.
Only about half of those women are "leaders" by anyone's description.
The Wall St. Journal is filled with this stuff, and not just targeting women. Today's "Personal Journal" (Personal!) lead story: Let Out Those Slim Suits.. and that's a story about menswear!
"Wake up and express in prayer how thankful I am to have woken up that day because someone went to sleep that night and didn’t wake up." -- If this were Sarah Palin, Tina Fey would have a field day and book lucrative speaking engagements skewering this quote.
Homeschooling and stay-at-home mothers, not so much -- too busy locking themselves in a closet so that they can scream that well-compensated ivy league researchers are peddling knockoff versions of the golden rule as novel research, while the children of Tiger mothers get their diapers changed by moonlighting adjuncts.
Also, the undisclosed thirteenth woman leader who wakes up and gives her husband a blowjob may be surprised to learn what the nanny was able to bleach out of his underwear, unless she did it when he came out of the shower, cleaned with locally-sourced organic, food quality soap, of course (available until health inspectors discover how much money a home-based entrepreneur brings in). Blue dresses excluded, there's a lotta reasons for buying mens underwear in dark colors when nanny "has to" wash in cold water to save the planet because Chinese filmmakers are burning tires.
Yep, being a courtesan would have been much easier. Shoulda, coulda, woulda...
I've read that the next new thing after coconut water will be maple water -- so you'll be drinking sap from a maple tree.
Horrible nutrition choices.
Indicates herd/authority following mentality, as independent research would lead to way better options, especially for the children.
It's funny how the Barbie doll is bad, but these women are not. If these uber-successful ladies can handle everything with ease, why can't you lowly middle-class mom?
MadisonMan wrote I've read that the next new thing after coconut water will be maple water -- so you'll be drinking sap from a maple tree.
My wife and her sister went to Montreal last month and brought some back. Trendsetters!
This is how this worked for most of the women profiled:
1) The Forbes columnist lets her contacts in the PR and corporate communications world know that she is doing a column about "The Morning Routines of 12 Women Leaders."
2) The contacts pitch the column to the marketing departments of client companies who have senior female executives.
3) Some of the marketing departments take a look at their binders full of female executives and solicit participation.
4) The female executives might take a moment or so to respond to some simple questions.
5) The marketing department then rewrites the answer to fit in with the company's overall marketing/image goal and sends it back to the exec, who may or may not read it before approving it.
6) The marketing department sends the piece to Forbes, either directly or through a PR agency.
7) Forbes edits and publishes.
Laslo Spatula said..."Enjoli."
There are certain commercials I remember from my youth. That is one of them.
Blogger Tank said...
Give that puppy 20 minutes outside minimum. Let him walk. Let him sniff. Let him _______.
Our dogs get an hour off-leash at dawn every morning, and about 45 minutes every afternoon. We just "adopted" a stray young rez dog who's used to running loose and is pretty manic all evening w/o the 2nd walk.
Unless it's 5 degrees, that would be dog abuse.
Our old dog, a Pyrenees/Chow mix with more fur than a Malamute, preferred to sleep outside on a sheet of ice at -20F with a 30mph wind rather than come in at night.
Hey super smart and productive female execs: make your kid's lunch the night before. Saves time in the morning.
You're welcome.
Somewhere between 3 a.m. and 8 a.m. — Wake up naturally, without an alarm clock.
+30 seconds — check iPhone for weather and news.
When arms get cold or an idea for blogging occurs — get out of bed and get dressed.
In the next 10 minutes — get coffee and fire up the blog.
And not a hint of professoring.
I appreciate the Professor telling us her morning routine. I was going to ask if she cared to share. I like that 3am to 8am wake up range.
7am - wake up to youngest baby (1 yr) awaking, bring her to mom to feed, go shower and shave
715 - get youngest up and dressed, wait for oldest daughter (2 and a half) to wake herself and get her dressed.
730 to 830 - play with girls, read to them or read to myself, pre-work prep, check email and respond to anything crucial, review my calendar, line up my day in my head
830 - breakfast for the girls
Somewhere between 9am to 930 - head to office
I usually read Althouse over lunch or just before bed (usually both).
Come on working mothers, do you really believe that she makes that breakfast every morning or that she makes it herself? As someone else said, I am sure that there is a nanny in the mix and I wonder how many days she even sees her kids in the morning.
The very successful working women with children that I know are amazing. I couldn't do it if I were in their heels.
- Krumhorn
Two surprises on this article: the women were generally not top executives at large companies, as I expected from the title. I don't see a writer for TV as a "women leader" (and "women" is a noun, not an adjective -- grammatically this should be "female leaders").
Second, they all start their days comparatively late.
And the author's "common thread" that highly-successful women have their routine carefully scheduled? I don't buy that. Most people who need to meet timing such as a school or work start time, or have objectives for the day, have a morning routine -- it's not something special.
Clones.
4:45am: Get up and immediately go back to bed because it's way too early.
Pretty much this. Getting up at 4:45AM is for idiots.
Poor, poor kids.
And the author's "common thread" that highly-successful women have their routine carefully scheduled? I don't buy that. Most people who need to meet timing such as a school or work start time, or have objectives for the day, have a morning routine -- it's not something special.
But they're women! They're leaders! They're icons for social justice warriors!
Woof, woof!
6:00 Wake up to NPR ATC, listen to first five to ten minutes.
6:10 Piss, get the coffee started, cook breakfast
6:25 Eat, look at news on web
6:35 Get son out of bed and get him some milk and PB
7:10 Grab son's clothes jump in shower
7:20 Get dressed
7:30 Out the door for school
7:45 Leave school
7:50 At office
Geroge - I take it you home school and have a home business?
How many different ways can you say, "Wake up, eat, work out, ready children, read to-do list"?
"Leader" appears to be an elastic term.
The Morning Routine of 1 Woman Who Leads 3 People
Sometime between 7:00 and 7:30: Our children jump into our bed.
A short time later: Get up. Put on workout clothes (clean, maybe). Find earbuds (cheap).
Next: Torture and boredom (working out).
Finally: Coffee (capitalist) and food (egg or egg avec oh [Eggo]).
egg avec oh
Hahaha
MadisonMan said...
6:35 Take dog out for walk
6:40 Clean out litter box, feed dog and cat
11/20/14, 9:06 AM
Chiming in with tank and furious a who advocate for the dog. Less than 5 minutes outside? That ain't a walk. I guess you're one of those dog owners who just rush your pet outside to piss and as soon as he relieves himself, rush him back inside. Cold is not an excuse. Let your dog go outside, Torquemada.
Nope, school is about eight blocks away and its about a mile from there to my job.
[G]reen milk (almond milk with coconut water, banana and steamed baby spinach) - poison sugar potion! Well, other than the spinach. How will they grow, for god's sake?
It's a given that each these power women has a "Maria" who comes by to clean while she's away. I'd like to know how often. Asking for a friend.
Not a single bowel movement in the story or the comments. Everybody taking a crap on company time?
Not a single bowel movement in the story or the comments. Everybody taking a crap on company time?
I'm a mid-afternoon man. Very efficient, too.
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