"The world Lizzo has built around herself is essentially a cult: it’s dependent on everyone thinking the same extreme, bizarre, contradictory things as she does."

"You find it a lot nowadays: in the arts; politics, obviously; even in banks, for God’s sake. People rush to reinforce warped thought systems, like the pathetic Beyoncé, who has constantly sucked up to Lizzo, chasing the fat dollar. Until last week, of course, when the allegations came out, and then it was as if Lizzo had died: no regular shout-out from Beyoncé on her tour any more."

Writes Camilla Long, in "If you sign up to work in the seedy world of Lizzo, you must expect some XXXL lunacy" (London Times).

"Usually I choose not to respond to false allegations but these are as unbelievable as they sound and too outrageous to not be addressed."

"These sensationalized stories are coming from former employees who have already publicly admitted that they were told their behavior on tour was inappropriate and unprofessional.... I am very open with my sexuality and expressing myself but I cannot accept or allow people to use that openness to make me out to be something I am not.... There is nothing I take more seriously than the respect we deserve as women in the world. I know what it feels like to be body shamed on a daily basis and would absolutely never criticize or terminate an employee because of their weight."

Said Lizzo on Instagram, quoted in "Lizzo Denies Allegations in Former Dancers’ Lawsuit/Three dancers have accused the Grammy-winning singer of creating a hostile work environment, claims that she said were 'as unbelievable as they sound'" (NYT).

"Liberals win control of Wisconsin Supreme Court ahead of abortion case."

That's the headline at The Washington Post.

I remember when it was considered important at least to pretend that judicial elections where nonpartisan and that judges decided cases according to something that was quaintly called "the law." 

The article does throw a crumb of nostalgia to those of us who remember:

Judicial candidates in Wisconsin do not run with party labels, but...

10 words and then the "but" grabs back any concession to the old pretense: 

... the race was steeped in partisanship....

Lots of political money sloshed over both candidates. And: 

At Protasiewicz’s victory party in downtown Milwaukee, the three liberals who sit on the court marched into the hotel ballroom arm in arm to Lizzo’s “About Damn Time.”

Marched, did they? 

"The word, not used intentionally in a harmful way, will be replaced. The road to success is always under construction."

Said representatives of Beyoncé, quoted in "Beyoncé to cut ableist slur from Renaissance song/Charities question why lyric was released weeks after similar controversy" (London Times).

The objected to line — on "Heated" — is "Spazzing on that ass, spaz on that ass." 

Who wrote that line? "The song has nine credited writers including Beyoncé and Drake, the Canadian rapper, but it is not clear which of them wrote the lyrics."

What was the "similar controversy" that happened recently? Lizzo used the same word, in the line "Hold my bag, bitch, hold my bag/ Do you see this shit? I’m a spaz."

"I apologize for saying white male writers having trouble finding work is a form of racism. I absolutely do not believe that racism is practiced against white writers."

"Please know that I strongly support a diversity of voices being heard — in literature, in Hollywood, everywhere."

Said the best-seller writer James Patterson, quoted in "James Patterson Apologizes for Saying White Writers Face a ‘Form of Racism’/The comments by Mr. Patterson, the prolific author of best-selling thrillers, had been widely criticized" (NYT).

How dumb do you have to be to make that point if you're not willing to stand by it? The criticism was utterly predictable, so the apology means just about nothing.

It only makes me wonder, why is he such a big success? And yet he wanted to try out the idea that guys like him are held back while others are promoted ahead of him.

A staple of best-seller lists, he has written children’s books and biographies as well as works of science fiction and fantasy.... Mr. Patterson has also written two books with former President Bill Clinton and one book, “Run, Rose, Run,” with Dolly Parton, published in March. He was awarded the National Humanities Medal in 2019. A White House citation accompanying the honor called him “one of the most successful American authors of our time.”

Not one of the best American authors of our time, just one of the most successful! Not even the most successful, just one of the most successful. He got a medal for that — from the President of the United States! Funnily, Trump's name is left out of this article, but it was 2019 and the medal is presented by the President of the United States. So that was Trump, and right after Patterson had co-written a novel with Bill Clinton. 

Speaking of white men, did Bill Clinton deserve his position as co-author of "The President Is Missing"?

And speaking of apologies, Lizzo — who is neither white nor a man — apologized after she got criticized for using the word "spaz" in a song: "I’mma spaz; I’m about to knock somebody out." See "Fans told Lizzo a word in her song was offensive. She changed the lyrics" (WaPo).

"I don’t believe in seedless watermelon — that is against my religion."

Said Gabrielle E.W. Carter, "a multimedia artist and gardener in Apex, N.C.," quoted in "Summer’s Greatest Prize: Watermelons, With Seeds, Please/For many Americans, juicy, scarlet watermelon is a must for Juneteenth. The heirloom varieties are a sacred summer fruit" in The New York Times.

I did not know that it was possible to write an article about black people and watermelon, but here it is.

All season long, you’ll find watermelon eating in its purest form — palms clenching the rinds over gingham tablecloths; all pleasure and no tropes — at family reunions, at get-togethers on terraces and around patio fire pits. Consuming the fruit is a sacrament of an American summer, and, for many Black Americans, a must for Juneteenth, the Texas-born holiday gaining national recognition that’s celebrated with red punch, strawberry spoon cake and dry-rubbed ribs.

On the received wisdom that it's racist to discuss black people and watermelon, here's "How Watermelons Became a Racist Trope" (The Atlantic). 

"I started talking to my belly this year. Blowing her kisses and showering her with praises."

"I used to want to cut my stomach off I hated it so much. But it’s literally ME." 

From "Lizzo talks to her stomach in empowering self-care video" (NY Post). 

Sometimes, the belly talks back:

Outrage of the day.

Do let us know when you can twerk and play the flute at the same time, Jillian. Until then, shut your mouth. https://t.co/jvvYlNK5Fu

— Imani Gandy (@AngryBlackLady) January 8, 2020

Yes, Eddie Murphy came back to "Saturday Night Live" and reprised his old characters — Mr. Robinson, Buckwheat, Gumby, Velvet Jones — but...

... here's what I think is the most important segment from last night's episode, this part of "Weekend Update," where I think you can see that the show knows that Trump himself is doing better comedy than they are and chooses to edit in clips of Trump's hilarious routine:



Yes, they've surrounded his material with their material, but their material isn't as funny. It mainly functions as packaging to protect Trump-haters from their own reflexive aversion to the toxic President. Now, they can enjoy his comedy. They have access to the bad orange man.

Speaking of color, that Eddie Murphy material was full of racist stereotypes — Mr. Robinson, the criminal; Buckwheat, whose one joke is that he cannot articulate words; Gumby, the angry one; Velvet Jones, the pimp — and yet because these were reprisals of supposedly beloved characters by the show's biggest star from the distant past, they were apparently considered okay to present today. This too is packaging. Take something funny that you can't do, do it anyway, but swathe it inside of something that seems to say that this isn't really what it is.

The cold open was the Democratic Debate, and there was no room for Eddie Murphy in that. Well, they could have had him as Deval Patrick barging into the debate, because they had Fred Armisen as Michael Bloomberg barging into the debate, but what would the joke be? With Bloomberg, they could billionaire-bash. He bought his way in. Obviously, that's not too funny either. So what did they do? They had Trump (Alec Baldwin) crash the debate. The SNL audience wants Trump... wants Trump because they want to hate him some more? Or is this love, packaged as hate? Let me start you 7 1/2 minutes in as Trump swaggers onto the debate stage and trash talks: "You think I'm nervous? What are they going to do, impeach me? Hey, losers! Impeach me outside. Okay? How about that?"



By the way, the Velvet Jones material was full of sexist material. To Jones, all women are whores. One of his many books is about pole dancing. Incredibly, that segment ran right before the music guest, Lizzo, performed a song with dancers who were pole dancing.



I think Lizzo is trying to present a character who's a very independent woman, but Velvet Jones had just been sleazily advising women to find independence through prostitution. Doesn't Lizzo have people to protect her from that sort of extremely disadvantageous framing? Talk about packaging. She got mispackaged by Murphy.

Of spoons and forks and Birch Bayh and Amy Klobuchar.

From Ryan Lizzo's interview with Democratic presidential candidate Peter Buttigieg (in Esquire):

By the way we just got the word that senator Birch Bayh passed away. Did he have any impact on you growing up as a fellow Hoosier?

He was already out of office by the time I came of age but we’d see him campaigning for other people around Indiana. He was famous for carrying a spoon in his suit pocket to be ready for stops at Dairy Queen. He had that kind of nice retail touch. But also —

If only Amy Klobuchar had adopted a version of that.

Eeeeeeewww, uh, yeah.

I will note the non-response to that.

I looked through 52 photographs — a whole deck of cards — of the fashion at last night's VMA's.

Maybe I did it so you don't have to, or maybe you'll go through — here — and challenge my ratings:

1. Miley Cyrus
2. Lizzo
3. Nicki Minaj
4. Demi Lovato

Remember, it's the VMAs, not the Oscars. There's supposed to me some weirdness and playfulness in the glamour.

I'd never heard of Lizzo before, but her strange getup got me to look at her for a long time, to notice a very beautiful face, and to look up her music and listen to this: