Justin Verlander is engaged to Kate Upton.

I'm seeing lots of news stories about this, and they all feature pictures of the exceedingly gorgeous Kate Upton. I think that's unbalanced gender-wise. Males and females are fully equal in the modern American marriage. So let me correct the imbalance. Here is Justin Verlander:



ADDED: The news of the engagement came out as a result of Kate's wearing a big diamond ring to the Met Gala. You can find her somewhere on this page, which has about a hundred photographs of models, singers, and actresses as dressed up as humanly possible. I recommend Claire Danes in a big ballgown that lights up in the dark, Lady Gaga and Madonna strapped into elaborate bottomless things, and Taylor Swift stealing my hairstyle.

"There should be a packaged microwavable snack for women called Hot Handbags."

I said in the comments to the post about the lady named Joy who collects expensive handbags and doesn't know what to say to her "good friend" who "wears" "fake" — i.e., knockoff — bags. I was responding to rhhardin who said "Pockets would be simpler."

To flesh out your understanding, here's Jim Gaffingan, explaining Hot Pockets:



Googling "hot pockets," I came up with a Hollywood report from 3 days ago: "Kate Upton and Snoop Dogg's New Hot Pockets Video Arrives Fully Baked (Video)." Who knew "hot pockets" was something new and trendy? Ever stumble into some weird accidental fashionableness like that?