Politico finds what it calls "9 Political Issues That Bit the Dust This Year."

How do "issues" die? Based on this article, issues "die" when they don't work as Democratic Party hacks hoped. Thus, celebrity endorsements have died. The Kennedy mystique has died. Abortion — as a political issue — has died. The explanations may amuse you — or just annoy you. The lack of self-awareness is about exactly what you'd expect. For example, on the topic of celebrity endorsements:

In 2024, Vice President Kamala Harris’ campaign took that to the next level, siphoning up much of the Hollywood and entertainment A-list, from Arnold Schwarzenegger to Bad Bunny. Vogue at one point compiled a list of 37 stars who endorsed Harris. President-Elect Donald Trump tried to counter with endorsements from the likes of Jason Aldean or Kid Rock, but he couldn’t keep pace. “We don’t need a star because we have policy,” Trump said at a rally in Pittsburgh. In some ways, he wasn’t wrong: Trump won without the elite sheen of Harris’ fleet of surrogates. If anything, her star-studded backers may even have hurt her campaign, giving credence to conservatives who cast her as an out-of-touch California elite. In a fractured country, with the monoculture all but gone, and with anti-elite sentiment building, it’s getting harder and harder for any celebrity — even Taylor Swift — to move enough voters to sway an election.

Are Joe Rogan and Elon Musk not celebrities? I guess to Politico, "celebrities" are only in the acting and popular music category. Politico won't admit that these people flocked to Kamala Harris because they needed to for their own selfish reasons — not because KH's campaign operated at some especially high "next level"! Their endorsements, unlike the endorsements of Trump by Joe Rogan and Elon Musk, did not represent any kind of knowledge or thoughtful judgment about the candidates. Maybe the way celebrity endorsements work on us is changing, even improving. But they didn't work for Kamala, even in massive abundance, so, to Politico, they died!

"For the unacquainted, Mr. Trump’s gyrations are a far cry from the complexities of the moonwalk, the Macarena or the Electric Slide."

"Both simple and strangely hypnotic, Mr. Trump’s wiggle incorporates the kind of stiff swivel often employed by arrhythmic wedding guests or awkward, one-too-many conventioneers."

Writes Jesse McKinley, in "Trump’s Signature Dance Move Finds Its Way to the Sports World/Jon Jones punctuated his U.F.C. win with the president-elect’s shimmy, and numerous N.F.L. players followed suit on Sunday" (NYT).

It says there that McKinley is "a Styles reporter who covered the criminal trial of Donald J. Trump earlier this year, from opening statements to guilty verdicts."

McKinley has written a lot of other things too. Why focus on Trump's criminal trial? Maybe subtle humor: Not long ago it seemed that New York authorities had found a way to put Trump in prison, and now we're just wondering if it's okay for football players to dance the Trump dance.

McKinley also wrote, recently:

Pointing my fingers... pointing my fingers... at you....

ADDED: And Trump already replicated the mirror routine — here, with Jimmy Fallon, back in 2016. The Mick Jagger routine happened in 2001. There may be earlier examples of this routine, or similar things, like Harpo and Groucho in "Duck Soup," and, replicating that, Harpo and Lucy on "I Love Lucy."

"'If it takes Vice President Harris to elevate the voices of women in Houston so they are heard in Madison and Kalamazoo and Pittsburgh, that’s what we’re going to do'..."

"... said Trey Martinez Fischer, the Democratic leader in the Texas State House. Just about everything related to Ms. Harris’s Houston trip is engineered to create news that will reach voters in the battleground states. Before the rally with Beyoncé and [Willie] Nelson, she is scheduled to record a podcast interview with the popular podcaster Brené Brown, a University of Houston professor and vulnerability researcher who has an audience of millions that skews heavily female.... No Democrat has won a statewide election in Texas since 1994. Ms. Harris’s Houston rally appears to be the first for a Democratic presidential nominee in Texas this late in a campaign since President Bill Clinton went to San Antonio in the final days before the 1996 election."

From "Why Harris (with Beyoncé in tow) is heading to solidly red Texas" (NYT)

Meanwhile: "Mr. Trump is planning his own Texas sojourn on Friday, heading to Austin to record Joe Rogan’s podcast...."

What ever happened to Harris's "talks" with Rogan? Here's what I wrote about that 10 days ago:

"I'm dying for some action... I need a love reaction...."

Bruce Springsteen has been dying for that action for so long. "This gun's for hire," he sings to us, in that puzzlingly straining voice he's been foisting upon us since the 1970s.

And here he is, last night, at the Democratic Party rally....

 

"You can't start a fire/Worrying about your little world falling apart...."

Now, there's a political slogan.

But who's the best candidate for those of us who do worry about our "little world" falling apart?

Both VP nominees are now participating in the old tradition of responding to questions written on an orange that a reporter has rolled up the aisle of the campaign plane.

ABC reports.

Walz did it first, responding to the question "Dream dinner guest?" His answer (written on the orange and rolled back (more than a day later)): Bruce Springsteen.

(I struggle to resist re-telling the story of My Dinner With Bruce Springsteen.)

Vance's reporters wanted in on this orange action and rolled him the question "Fave Song." Under the circumstances, I would have chosen "Let Me Roll It"...

But Vance rolled back — immediately — "10 Years Gone":

Thank God something light-hearted is happening on this overwrought campaign.

Rivers always reach the sea/Flying skies of fortune, each a separate way/On the wings of maybe....

Why did it take Walz over a day to think up Bruce Springsteen? If you were going to workshop the most politically opportune answer, assuming you'd pick a pop star, wouldn't you pick a pop star affiliated with a battleground state? 

I see that Kamala Harris, on Steve Colbert's show last night — see "The high life: Kamala Harris cracks open a beer with Stephen Colbert" (Guardian)— chose Miller High Life as the beer for the little exercise in relatability" and...

Harris repeated the popular slogan “The champagne of beers”, while Colbert noted that it comes from Milwaukee, in the swing state of Wisconsin. He said: “So that covers Wisconsin. Let’s talk Michigan. Let’s appeal to the Michigan voters, OK? What are your favourite Bob Seger songs?”

Walz could have said Bob Seger! What're his politics?  

Vance answered quickly, and his choice is a bit idiosyncratic, but that doesn't free him of any suspicion of answering what he thought was politically advantageous. He's a quick thinker, and he knows the assignment. But he's chosen British pop stars, and "Ten Years Gone" is not near the top of obvious Led Zeppelin songs.  It's #40 on Vulture's "All 74 Led Zeppelin Songs, Ranked." So there's a good chance it really is his favorite Led Zeppelin song.

Is Led Zeppelin his favorite band? The name appears 4 times in "Hillbilly Elegy." Here are 2::

"Saturday Night Live" cold opens with lots of political impersonations — including Dana Carvey as Joe Biden.

Scroll ahead if you must — to 10:23 — but don't miss Dana Carvey:

 Also — beginning at 2:22 — Jim Gaffigan as Tim Walz.

Maya Rudolph does Kamala Harris well, but the show's urgent need for us to love Kamala makes it too hard to like what Rudolph is able to do. The show presumes we agree politically and will simple-mindedly experience fun as "Kamala" has "fun" (and that's how Harris's campaign feels to me). I resist feeling the candidate's emotions as enacted on the political stage. And, for political satire, I want to laugh at her. Speak to me as someone on the outside. Don't treat me like a willing guest at her party. 

Sample line, spoken by the Trump impersonator: "We had this in the bag, but then they did a switcheroo and they swapped out Biden with Kamala. And now everything is chaos. They're eating the dogs. They're eating the cats. They're taking your pets, and they're doing freak offs. They're doing freak offs with the dogs, and they're making the geese watch. It's very sad. It's very sad. They're doing a Diddy."

ADDED: Mixing the P. Diddy story with the Haitians-in-Ohio story: Is that racist? It would be considered racist if Trump did it. It's in the black-people-remind-me-of-black-people mode. But in the sketch they have the Trump character combining the 2 topics, so if it's racist, it looks as though the racist is Trump. Clever? That's how you (try to) get away with it.

ALSO: For clarification, I substantially rewrote first 2 sentences of the paragraph that begins "Maya Rudolph does Kamala Harris well...."

The NYT finds joy in MAGAville.

I'm reading, "Kid Rock Threw the Party. MAGA Faithful Brought the Joy, Rage and Smirnoff Ice. A music festival headlined by the pro-Trump musician offered a snapshot of a maturing American subculture, with a mash-up of hedonism, rebellion and beer-guzzling pursuit of happiness" (NYT).

Sample text: "The shows felt like Trump rallies without the former president, unburdened by policy talk, speeches from lesser-known G.O.P. players, and the buzz-kill tendencies of Mr. Trump himself, who tends to noodle at the lectern like a jam-band soloist. What remained was a snapshot of a maturing American subculture, with unwritten conventions rivaling those of Deadheads or Swifties, and a dizzying mash-up of hedonism and piety, angry rebellion and beer-guzzling pursuit of happiness."

Credit to the writer of this prose. It's Richard Fausset.

Have Trump people been compared to Deadheads before? On November 2, 2020, Variety had "'Wave That Flag': Meet the Deadheads Who Stump for Trump" ("I’m not a big fan of the president, but at the end of the day, Trump is about individual freedom and so was the Dead").

Meanwhile, 9 days ago, Rolling Stone came out with "You’ve Heard of White Dudes for Kamala. Now Come the Deadheads/Fans of one of the most enduring of classic-rock bands — along with Mandy Patinkin — will rally on Zoom in support of the presumptive Democratic presidential candidate."

"Can I make a suggestion — as a marketing professional — what about licensing the Sheena Easton tune 'Sugar Walls' for use in the Harris/Walz campaign?"

"The line, 'Come spend the night inside my sugar walls' — how about: Come spend 4 years inside my Harris/Walz."

 

Here is your source material, written by Alexander Nevermind (AKA Prince):