That's the question from the Washington Post advice columnist as she addresses the problem, "I’m a bisexual man. Why don’t women want to date me?"
Straight women in droves [were] saying they wanted to date a guy who was “a little gay,” something of a metrosexual. They called these men “fruity,” but actual bisexuality wasn’t material to the categorization. They never got that far. A recent YouGov poll of Brits showed that two-thirds of straight women wouldn’t date a bisexual man, and even among women who had a “very positive” view of the group, almost half were still unwilling to date bi men....
Wait. Half were. That's a lot!
Anyway, the columnist decides that the problem is geographical. He needs to relocate to a major city — a place "where the guys are acting fruity, the women are acting butch, and no one is so sure of anyone else’s sexuality."
So people are saying "fruity" in a positive way now... or a few years ago? Here's some poor lady in 2025 anguishing over her inability to make her boyfriend "fruity":
@izzysiim I’m unmedicated today…
♬ original sound - izzysim
पोस्ट्स
११४ टिप्पण्या:
Trans trends.
Poor Talerico
Double nose ring.
Run. Run very fast.
“Half were”. That’s half of one-third, so around 16%. And that’s in general. Out of that group, probably only a fraction would be willing to date this particular guy. So by being fruity he’s eliminated nearly 85% of women.
The main problem with listening to women talk about what they want in men is that they lie about what they want in men.
Well, what can I say. She's magic. Her boy friend will either turn fruity all by himself, or turn into an axe murderer.
Hooked and branded is so meta.
Aggie,
You shouldn't entirely discount the possibility of a fruity Ax murderer.
Given the rate of VD is the Homo community, a bi guy is in a significantly higher ick factor category.
"of Brits showed that two-thirds of straight women wouldn’t date a bisexual man"
"That thing was where!"
Women want fruity boyfriends in the same way that mothers want gay and trans children.
Let’s get real. The reason some women want this is that they want group sex and gangbangs. There’s nothing ideological about it.
I don’t care what women say they want. What they REALLY want is someone who can open a jelly jar and who would put himself between her and a threat. This close to the George Washington National Forest that threat could be a hungry black bear.
Advice to women, never date a guy who demands that you date him.
"pertaining to or noting a story, conversation, character, etc., that consciously references or comments upon its own subject or features, often in the form of parody."
- meta
Mothers, six weeks to trans and a gay old time, maybe, baby, maybe. Don't let your fetuses evolve to become simulants.
Boy am I glad I'm old.
As I grow old - I'm finding that humor is the key.
You can look like almost anything if you make me smile and laugh.
"some women want this is that they want group sex and gangbangs"
Now, now, now. Now? Not now. Such a burden. Abort, and progress no more, now.
"Fruity" yeah. In the UK I'm shocked that is allowed. Speech crimes in the UK are as ubiquitous as the creepy "they-them" pronoun police social contagion in the US.
Odd too as there is a large faction of immigrant rape. You'd think women would want someone to stand up and fight for them. LOL - not is the fruity UK.
Fruities are high in sugar, a sweet prelude to diabetes. Perhaps a veggie, green, not Green, would be a healthy alternative.
Maybe they just don't want to taste Felch on their boyfriend's junk.
…let me sit-com mom fix this for everyone- tiktok woman, one of two things are happening- you either have a fetish or you’re attracted to women. Go figure it out and get back to us. Bi-guy- hetero women mostly want to date men with masculine traits and bi-women get with men when they want a masculine fix. Best I can do for you is maybe hook you up with tiktok woman if she comes back…
…and no Rachel you weren’t supposed to put meat in the triffle. It did not. taste. good…
BTW, I’m speaking from experience. I live in SF at the tail end of the Summer of Love. Girlfriends just about always wanted me to be “friends” with their gay male friend, and the reason was always that they wanted a threesome.
Perhaps I am alone - but a threesome was never appealing to me. Even when I was young and my whore-o-moans were raging. Now - aging kills the female libido. I understand why old dudes have young GF's.
The real problem is that at a biological level women do not want an average man.
In order to have a society that is based on pair bonding, society must put constraints on women and force them to live with and honor an "average man."
This is what the battle between the 50's and the 60's was all about.
Ever since the 60's won we have feminized society and allowed all sorts of primitive behaviors.
The pendulum is about to swing back.
Peachy+2 said...
Perhaps I am alone - but a threesome was never appealing to me. Even when I was young and my whore-o-moans were raging. Now - aging kills the female libido. I understand why old dudes have young GF's.
There is no real biological reason for the group sex phenomenon. That was all social contagion.
Women want the biggest strongest man to be the father so the biggest strongest man will protect her and her offspring.
My kids say zesty, not fruity.
"He needs to relocated to a major city"?
That's all I got this early in the morning.
Birches said...
"My kids say zesty, not fruity."
Whatever happened to "flamboyant?"
...titus, pick up the white courtesy phone. titus...
tits
Hard-wired biological traits are real, even if one pretends they don't exist. It reminds me of high school so many years ago. Girls would say "I'm just looking for a nice boyfriend. " Except the nice boys were quickly relegated to the friend zone. Next thing you now, she's in love with the local weed dealer who, as rumor has it, steals cars from time to time. The essence of attraction is primal and doesn't chan.ge due to societal fads
Splitting the difference is rarely a viable choice.
What Big Mike said.
Protection
Resources
Stick around
If you're a woman out on a date with a man whose eye wanders now and then to another woman passing by, you can probably live with that better than if his eye wanders to another man passing by.
Fruity and nutty in spectacular, Equitable, Inclusion.
BTW, this shit is not new. I lived in SF during the late stages of the Summer of Love. It was common for the current girlfriend to suggest getting together with her gay male friend. The reason was always the same. She wanted a threesome. However, there’s a bug in this program. She assumed that this would make her the center of sexual attention.
That young lady has so many red flags I blanked out for a second.
If a bisexual man catches that strain of treatment resistent diarrhia that's going around the gay community, that would be a huge turn off.
Neck tats and dead eyes. Gonna bet some head meds.
DJ99 said...
Hard-wired biological traits are real, even if one pretends they don't exist. It reminds me of high school so many years ago. Girls would say "I'm just looking for a nice boyfriend. " Except the nice boys were quickly relegated to the friend zone. Next thing you now, she's in love with the local weed dealer who, as rumor has it, steals cars from time to time. The essence of attraction is primal and doesn't chan.ge due to societal fads
We have animal impulses.
But we are human and we can make decisions that lead to civilized society.
Women need to be content with an average man.
Average men need to step up and take responsibility for a family.
“In order to have a society that is based on pair bonding, society must put constraints on women and force them to live with and honor an ‘average man.’”
So the pitch for marriage is ‘you’ll be forced to’?
You’re a marketing genius.
Doesn't matter. Won't be too long before two-thirds of British women won't be able to do anything their husbands don't let them do.
Average men need to step up and take responsibility for a family. Do they not? Or is that what three decades of ads and sitcom husbands have convinced you of?
“Doesn't matter. Won't be too long before two-thirds of British women won't be able to do anything their husbands don't let them do.”
Exactly what he’s suggesting.
An average woman can get an above-average man to take her to bed. There won't be any commitments, but she'll still take that as a sign she's above average, too. And she won't be satisfied with the average men who might be actually be willing to make a commitment.
They called it Fruity Pebbles, not Fruity Bamm-Bamm.
The past is another country.
“The main problem with listening to women talk about what they want in men is that they lie about what they want in men.”
Particularly to other women. Feminism is choking itself out in a Ouroboroian frenzy.
"The main problem with listening to women talk about what they want in men is that they lie about what they want in men"
THIS. Sometimes (often?) we're lying to ourselves - it's not always with malice aforethought.
'...So the pitch for marriage is ‘you’ll be forced to’?...'
What he's suggesting about the future U.K. comes with your choice of burqa or niqab or hijab, depending on the ambient average.
"I want to know the secret! Please tell me."
Bud Light.
Remember when George Costanza tried being a Bad Boy to make himself more attractive to women. He had observed that Bad Boys are typically Chick Magnets.
We all know, there's a simple math that takes root in societies that vote by democratic methods. If 2% of your slice of society has 95+% voter turnout, while the other 50% slice has less than 20% voter turnout, and the numbers are trending over time in one direction, then sooner or later the motivated small minority starts gaining political power. It's happened already in the U.K., and its happening here, now.
There are ghettos in many American cities made up of immigrants that have no interest in assimilating, but are happy to feast on easily available benefits that they don't contribute toward, while their original behaviors remain unchanged. There are Calls to Prayer being broadcast by loudspeaker in many neighborhoods now, and whether you want to hear them or not doesn't matter.
Vote for the future of your choice, or another will be provided for you.
“What he's suggesting about the future U.K. comes with your choice of burqa or niqab or hijab, depending on the ambient average.”
What he’s suggesting is the same thing for all women, just with a velvet glove.
What women should really look for in a man is fidelity, kindness, respect, honesty, and the ability to provide; whether or not he's "fruity" is irrelevant.
Eva Marie said...
“In order to have a society that is based on pair bonding, society must put constraints on women and force them to live with and honor an ‘average man.’”
So the pitch for marriage is ‘you’ll be forced to’?
You’re a marketing genius.
You are a juvenile loser. I never said anything like that. You are dishonest and pathetic.
Be happy. I am treating you like a man. You say you want equality. Well here it is.
You are too stupid to discuss what I actually said so you made up your own version to argue against.
This is why most women shouldn't be voting. They just cannot discuss these issues honestly or seriously.
Those of you who are married: do you think of yourselves as average? Your spouse? Would you be just as happy with any other average man or woman?
I called you a genius.
You didn’t like that?
Eva Marie said...
Those of you who are married: do you think of yourselves as average? Your spouse? Would you be just as happy with any other average man or woman?
You are not a serious person on this subject. It is pathetic.
You have been programmed to act like this. Probably college "educated." But you don't have the self awareness to figure that out yet.
You need to grow up.
For Pete’s sake. I quoted your exact words.
Point taken. Never quote Achilles verbatim. He immediately defaults to YNTGU (You Need To Grow Up).
"He needs to relocate to a major city — a place "where the guys are acting fruity, the women are acting butch, and no one is so sure of anyone else’s sexuality.""
If you're going to San Francisco
Be sure to wear some flowers in your hair
If you're going to San Francisco
You're gonna meet some gentle people there
The "boyfriend" (I doubt he exists) may not be fruity, but he certainly has some very low standards of female companionship. Yick!
In Lake Woebegone, everyone is above average.
It's surprising how many topics nowadays can be illuminated by a reference to Japanese school girls ooh-ing and a-ing over gay male romance anime. First it's the hockey player romance television series and now this ...
"I’m a bisexual man. Why don’t women want to date me?"
Maybe they don’t want to get AIDS? Or maybe they want to date an actual man.
Eva Marie said...
So the pitch for marriage is ‘you’ll be forced to’?
You’re a marketing genius.
Point taken. Never quote Achilles verbatim. He immediately defaults to YNTGU (You Need To Grow Up).
You are a joke. Just not a serious person.
This message board would be more fun if everyone was required to post. in video format saying the ridiculous things they write.
“It's surprising how many topics nowadays can be illuminated by a reference to Japanese school girls ooh-ing and a-ing over gay male romance anime.”
It’s really not that different here. Except that the Japanese are overzealous in much of what they do. Our middle school girls go crazy for boy bands - whose members invariably are fairly androgynous. For middle school girls, androgynous guys are safe, for young females not secure yet in their femininity.
So, if this fruity guy wants a girlfriend, then maybe he should stick with middle school girls - but without sex, because ar that age, it would be statutory rape.
Maybe it's just me, but it's possible women don't want to date a man whose entire life is wrapped around his sexual identity.
The NYT and WaPo sure do spend a lot of coverage on SWPL shit but which is also the very category of Americans that the despise too. Go figure?
We need Crack to say what these women really want.
Or Laslo's Diversity Consultant, or his other character with Black Monster Cock.
Or I suppose Titus could rhapsodize on the virtues of muzzle hog. CC, JSM
I think I'm like a lot of straight white males. And probably males "of color" who've been raised here in the USA. If some woman is looking at me she needs to realize that "What You See Is What You Get". We're not going to change into who we are not--no matter how attractive the female. --So WYSWYG "wzziwig" is an accurate thing.
Do women like homosexual men kissing on television?
What's the old saying? A woman marries a man thinking she will change him, but he doesn't. And a man marries a woman thinking she won't change, but she does.
Then there’s the even older saying:
“In order to have a society that is based on pair bonding, society must put constraints on women and force them to live with and honor an ‘average man.’”
Wouldn't most women be 'average'? Seems like an average man ought to be sufficient.
apparently not, if you have to constrain them and force them to live with and honor an average man.
I'm not advocating for forcing anyone to live with or honor anyone else. I'm just asking why an average woman wouldn't be okay with living with an average man.
I agree with you but it seems that some men, looking at the average men that they are and see around them have come to the conclusion that unless society (meaning them) doesn’t constrain women and force them to live with and honor average men, those average men will . . . (they didn’t elaborate much further)
Wouldn't most women be 'average'? Seems like an average man ought to be sufficient. One word: hypergamy.
I get "overload-protect triggered" in lieu of any image. Blogger stroking out?
"but it seems that some men..."
Well, an average woman is more likely to hold out for an above average man than an average man would hold out for an above average woman.
So there's that...
"A little bit gay" means "not a complete slob," and "boyfriend" often means "safe, non-threatening gay buddy." Also, consider the famous meme of the woman walking hand in hand with her boyfriend and turning around with a disgusted expression as she catches him checking out another woman who has just passed by: it's not any better if he's checking out another guy. Another familiar trope, this time a line from films, explains: "If it were another woman, I'd know how to compete."
constraint and force is apparently an option
"This message board would be more fun if everyone was required to post, in video format saying the ridiculous things they write."
But then everyone would know I'm a dog. An above average dog, but still , , ,
I'm not talking about (or supporting) 'constraint and force'. Since you want to, let's carry it ahead a few years- you know, after a couple of kids and the divorce that the woman wants, because she's not happy- and see who benefits from it then.
Correlation
is not always automatically causation.
What force is in play, here? What constraint?
Is it wrong to notice when the more vocal and militant of modern feminists don't mind pulling on a hijab to appear with male Islamists, as if they suddenly found it easier to be respectful and conformist ? What force? What constraint?
This is just one case, but I haven’t seen parents pressure their sons to marry. The parents I’m thinking of are elderly and seem happy with things as they are, and I don’t think they want a woman coming in and upsetting that. The son looks to be waiting on the house he’ll inherit and doesn’t want to risk the arrangement. If he were sure a wife wouldn’t disturb it, maybe he’d be open to marriage, but maybe not. He travels when he likes, he thinks “we’re destroying the planet,” and he’s told me he has no interest in kids even if he did marry. He doesn’t have much reason to change anything.
Calling him a casualty of women rejecting the “average man” doesn’t fit what I’ve seen. Nobody rejected him. He’s comfortable where he is.
Force and constraint are not my words. Let me quote again;
Achilles said: “In order to have a society that is based on pair bonding, society must put constraints on women and force them to live with and honor an ‘average man.’”
I didn’t say that. I find it abhorrent.
I didn't say they were your words, but they keep coming up in your replies to me.
“Is it wrong to notice when the more vocal and militant of modern feminists don't mind pulling on a hijab to appear with male Islamists, as if they suddenly found it easier to be respectful and conformist?”
This is why it’s important we vote Republican in the midterms.
Mason G, I agree with you.
Tempted by the fruit of a mother
Tempted but the truth is discovered
What's been going on
On that now mowed lawn
h/t Difford / Tilbrook
"He's comfortable where he is."
Sounds a little like my son. He's forty, has a decent job and a ypunger GF (since about 18 months ago). Stands to inherit this old doghouse and whatever money might be left, as well as my brother's more substantial estate.
He has made no mention of marriage to us, and we all understand that he doesn't owe us grandkids.
Eva Marie said...
Then there’s the even older saying:
“In order to have a society that is based on pair bonding, society must put constraints on women and force them to live with and honor an ‘average man.’”
Post the entire argument you dishonest loser. I will do it for you since you are a dishonest bad faith poster:
"Women need to be content with an average man.
Average men need to step up and take responsibility for a family. "
When you ask men to rate their physical attractiveness the average is between 4-6.
When you ask women to rate their physical attractiveness the average is around 8.
When you ask women to rate the attractiveness of men they don't know the average is 3.
This is all pure biology. For women to get over this they have to be able to look in the mirror and accept they are average and that 5'8" 180 pound man working 9 to 5 is just as average as them.
The problem is that self awareness is rare. Eva Marie is a perfect example of lacking the requisite honesty for self awareness.
Achilles, I will help you out by explaining what I think you meant by some of the words::
"Society" - not government. Just most people doing mostly the same things, according to mores and customs.
"Constraints" - social constraints. Not backed by state coercion, but just by society's ways of showing disapproval. Conversely, certainly not endorsed by the state giving the hypergamists money it coerced out of the average men -either that specific hypergamist's ex-husband via alimony or the great mass of average men via taxes.
"Force" - again, not state (or anyone else's) physical force. Just social mores making it not worth the tsoras to be a hypergamist. And also no state force making it easier.
Did I get that right? RLTW, JSM
"Mason G, I agree with you."
Thank you for that. I'm not trying to pick a fight, I'm just asking a question:
"Wouldn't most women be 'average'? Seems like an average man ought to be sufficient."
Coming at this from the average man's point of view and assuming constraint and force are off the table, just what is it that average men are being asked to "step up" to do instead of just MGTOW, when the average woman is looking for something better and not willing to settle for "average"?
O please, that’s not what he said. He used the word force and then he doubled down and added later, “This is why most women shouldn't be voting.”
I am not asking men to step up. That again was Achilles:
“Average men need to step up and take responsibility for a family”
Young people (the ones I have contact with) don’t want kids.
The men I know are decent young to middle aged men and they don’t want children.
Achilles you make up statistics.
Men rate themselves 4 to 6. False. If anything, men tend to rate themselves higher than women rate themselves. One study found men’s average self-rating was 3.35 on a 5-point scale, compared with 2.56 for women. The authors said this matches earlier research showing that men tend to overestimate their attractiveness. Psychology Today summarized that study the same way: men rated themselves higher than women did, but outside raters rated the women as more attractive.
“Women rate themselves around 8. I couldn’t find any research that supports this. In the same study, women’s self-ratings were lower than men’s, and 14 women gave themselves the lowest possible score, compared with only 2 men. A speed-dating study found no real difference between men’s and women’s self-ratings.”
That was Perplexity
Perplexity again:
Women rate unfamiliar men around 3. This is partly true, but it’s usually overstated. It comes from a 2009 OkCupid blog post. On that site, women rated 80% of men as “worse-looking than medium” on a 0 to 5 scale. A later peer-reviewed study of one dating site also found that women rated men lower: 2.13 versus 2.84 out of 5.[realworldappeal +1]
There are some important caveats:
• The ratings were based on dating-profile photos from one website, not a sample of men in general.
• Women still sent messages fairly evenly across men they had rated low. Men were the ones who mostly messaged the top-rated women.
The only reason, Achilles, you don’t get push back from anyone else because no one wants to be attacked personally which is your modus operandi.
“Did I get that right? RLTW, JSM”
Apparently not because he hasn’t said you did get it right. And BTW he had plenty of time to explain himself but it was too much fun calling me names - which BTW, fortunately or un, doesn’t bother me.
'...The men I know are decent young to middle aged men and they don’t want children. ...'
Interestingly, my experience is exactly the opposite, probably 85-90% of the time. My daughter is in a neighborhood with mostly young families, and going to a church that is even more so - and the families are 3-5 kids mostly. Her neighborhood has a few older couples, grandchildless, and a few spinsters, who try to spoil her kids. My own neighborhood, different town, is young families with multiple kids, high school and downward. It's common to hear kids playing and screaming outside. We have friends with their own sets of grandkids. And we have friends that are unmarried, approaching middle age, and childless.
I don't pay a whole lot of attention to commenters that come here to be outrageous while risking nothing.
“Interestingly, my experience is exactly the opposite, probably 85-90% of the time.”
My theory is that children are contagious. Young people who are around other young people with children tend to want children. I don’t know if that’s true but it’s my theory.
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