Althouse: "What's the money for if you're celibate?"

September 5, 2024

"What's the money for if you're celibate?"

Stephen Colbert asks 50cent:

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20 comments:

Iman said...: Fitty shoulda said, “it’s to pay for my execution should I ever wear a hypodermic needle costume and shimmy-dance on network TV.”; 9/5/24, 8:38 AM
Quayle said...: "What's the money for if you're celibate?"

How about feeding the poor, clothing the naked, and administering to the sick.; 9/5/24, 8:38 AM
tommyesq said...: It is like when George was forced into abstinence (his girlfriend had mono) in Seinfeld - he became a genius. Of course, Elaine in the same episode withheld sex, hoping that her boyfriend would experience a similar intellectual surge and actually pass his medical licensing exam, and abstinence turned her into an idiot.; 9/5/24, 8:40 AM
Wince said...: 50 Cent making a reference to one of the great old-school rap songs by Young MC?

You're on a mission and you're wishin'
Someone could cure your lonely condition
Lookin' for love in all the wrong places
No fine girls, just ugly faces
From frustration, first inclination
Is to become a monk and leave the situation
But every dark tunnel has a lighter hope
So don't hang yourself with a celibate rope

Bust A Move

This here's a jam for all the fellas
Tryin' to do what those ladies tell us
Get shot down 'cause you're overzealous
Play hard to get, females get jealous
Ok, smarty, go to a party
Girls are scantily clad and showin' body
A chick walks by you wish you could sex her
But you're standin' on the wall like you was Poindexter
Next day's function, high class luncheon
Food is served and you're stone cold munchin'
Music comes on, people start to dance
But then you ate so much you nearly split your pants
A girl starts walkin', guys start gawkin'
Sits down next to you and starts talkin'
Says she wanna dance 'cause she likes the groove
So come on, fatso, and just bust a move

Ah, ah, ah, yeah
Ah, ah, yeah (just bust a move!)

You're on a mission and you're wishin'
Someone could cure your lonely condition
Lookin' for love in all the wrong places
No fine girls, just ugly faces
From frustration, first inclination
Is to become a monk and leave the situation
But every dark tunnel has a lighter hope
So don't hang yourself with a celibate rope
New movie's showin', so you're goin'
Could care less about the five you're blowin'
Theatre gets dark just to start the show
Then you spot a fine woman sittin' in your row
She's dressed in yellow, she says "hello
Come sit next to me, you fine fellow!"
You run over there without a second to lose
And what comes next? hey, bust a move!
If you want it, you got it
If you want it, baby, you got it, (just bust a move!)

In the city, ladies look pretty
Guys tell jokes so they can seem witty
Tell a funny joke just to get some play
Then you try to make a move and she says, "no way"
Girls are fakin', goodness sakin'
They want a man who brings home the bacon
Got no money and you got no car
Then you got no woman and there you are
Some girls are sophistic, materialistic
Looking for a man makes them opportunistic
They're lyin' on the beach perpetratin' a tan
So that a brother with money can be their man
So on the beach you're strollin', real high-rollin'
Everything you have is yours and not stolen
A girl runs up with somethin' to prove
So don't just stand there, bust a move!
If you want it, you got it
If you want it, baby, you got it (just bust a move)
If you want it, you got it
If you want it, baby, you got it (break it down for me fellas)

Ah, ah, hey, yeah
Ooh, uh, hey, yeah!

Your best friend Harry has a brother Larry
In five days from now he's gonna marry
He's hopin' you can make it there if you can
'Cause in the ceremony you'll be the best man
You say neato, check your libido
And roll to the church in your new tuxedo
The bride walks down just to start the wedding
And there's one more girl you won't be getting
So you start thinkin', then you start blinkin'
A bride maid looks and thinks that you're winkin'
She thinks you're kinda cute so she winks back
And now you're feelin really fine 'cause the girl is stacked
Reception's jumpin', bass is pumpin'
Look at the girl and your heart starts thumpin'
Says she wants to dance to a different groove
Now you know what to do, G, bust a move!; 9/5/24, 8:46 AM
lamech said...: "You know there's a couple motivating factors in our [5:05] evolutionary biology and they don't include celibacy.”

It seems Colbert is suggesting that sterilization is unsound, in terms of evolutionary biology, and for primacy of evolutionary biology? Sounds anti-trans?

More complete interview video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbW05qhrA1c; 9/5/24, 9:00 AM
Leland said...: FTW right out of the gate!; 9/5/24, 9:04 AM
RideSpaceMountain said...: Women - loved by many though they are - can be a colossal pain in the ass, saying nothing about juggling more than one at the same time. Give the man a break. He's had plenty of fun. Sometimes you just need perspective.; 9/5/24, 9:04 AM
RideSpaceMountain said...: Muito Picante Iman! Roasted.; 9/5/24, 9:06 AM
RideSpaceMountain said...: Women don't need to be celibate to act like idiots.; 9/5/24, 9:06 AM
gilbar said...: so, just to get clear.. Colbert is saying that a life without children is meaningless?
or; is he saying that a life without p*ssy is meaningless?
or.. is he just saying random words, and Hoping people like their sound?; 9/5/24, 9:07 AM
narciso said...: We have the wrong incentivs structure deliberately i think; 9/5/24, 9:25 AM
Narr said...: Women sense his power, but he denies them his essence.; 9/5/24, 10:04 AM
David53 said...: Glad I wasn't drinking coffee when I read your comment. You win!; 9/5/24, 10:21 AM
RCOCEAN II said...: Colbert asks the question because without Money and fame, he'd get zero. Plus, like most show biz types, he lives for his dick and thinks banging chicks is the reaon to exist. Has he been "Me-tood"?

Colbert really fooled me. Based on his CC gig, I thought he was smart and maybe more normal than most "Show biz" types. But that was just the affect produced by his CC writers. As shown by his talk show he stupider than Kimmel and is a complete Hollyweirdo. By comparison, Conan or Leno seem like massive intellectual giants.; 9/5/24, 10:57 AM
JK Brown said...: Developing the awareness to stop being a "rutting" idiot is a powerful advancement for a man. Like becoming truly educated, it is a rare accomplishment.

The rut is characterized in males by an increase in testosterone, exaggerated sexual dimorphisms, increased aggression, and increased interest in females.

The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Feminism tried making women "rutting" idiots but it didn't work out well so now men and women are trying going off the rut earlier in hopes of a better life.; 9/5/24, 11:03 AM
RideSpaceMountain said...: "God gave man a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to operate one or the other at the same time." - Robin Williams; 9/5/24, 12:10 PM
Hassayamper said...: Women are expensive, but worth it.

If I were not married, I'd have more money than I would know how to spend on myself, given my current lifestyle. In fact I think that even if my wife divorced me and I had to pay her a fixed alimony, I'd end up money ahead. I love her more than life, but it's a constant battle to keep her from spending every penny we have in the bank and then maxing out the credit cards.

Thankfully, my son is in the financial services industry and we have arranged things so that 25% of my income goes straight into savings and investments that she cannot touch. There are strict spending limits on her cards, and my son is the trustee of a spendthrift trust that will produce an income to give her a comfortable living when I snuff it, no matter how long she lives. She is well aware that her level of responsibility and judgment on financial matters approximates that of a spoiled 14 year old girl, and is quite willing to allow us a free hand to plan for the future in this manner.

Of course, without her support, I never would have completed my education and embarked on the successful professional career that funds her lavish lifestyle. Had I not met her, I would probably be an old bachelor ski patrolman living in a disgracefully messy single-wide mobile home 30 miles down the valley from Telluride or Aspen. My wife bore me children, raised them perfectly, keeps a spotless house, feeds me well, and loves me madly, which to me is worth more than all I own.; 9/5/24, 12:16 PM
Breezy said...: Invasion of privacy. Colbert is such a jerk.; 9/5/24, 1:51 PM
Kevin said...: Michael Irvin just said on TV that he would have played football for free but his mama and lady demanded he be paid.; 9/5/24, 6:46 PM
HoodlumDoodlum said...: Colbert likes to talk about his deep Catholic faith, but here seems perplexed by the concept of celibacy outside of marriage. Odd!; 9/6/24, 1:47 PM