"... and there is no right way to do it. As a child who was often a subject of the writing of my mother, Erica Jong... I have very mixed feelings about the phenomenon. I like to think I truly hated being written about, but who can remember? Later, I found it gave me a profound lack of shame and no expectation of privacy, which helped me pursue a public-facing career I might otherwise not have...."
Writes Molly Jong-Fast, in
"When Your Mom Is Famous for Hating Motherhood/In Heidi Reimer’s novel, 'The Mother Act,' a daughter grapples with being parented (or not) by an actress who happily mines her life for material" (NYT).
"Personally, I have found that there is no solution for having a parent who uses your life for content. There is no salve for the resentment it produces. Would I have been normal had my mom not written about me?... Am I uncomfortable on this planet because I always knew my mom was squirreled away working on a novel in which I would figure prominently, once as twins?"
By the way, Erica Jong is still alive — she's 82 — and Molly Jong-Fast has children of her own — 3 of them.
What was your mom doing when she was squirreled away? Did it make you "uncomfortable on this planet"? Or are we all, always, residents of our mother's planet? In which case, why are you not comfortable in the world you were born into — born out of?
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१३ टिप्पण्या:
Ask chris buckley
"Or are we all, always, residents of our mother's planet?"
A day is coming, definitely prior to 2100, when humans may be born without fathers or mothers. It sounds dystopian in many ways, but when you hold it up in contrast to this neverending feminine angst it could be a blessing, as well as a self-solving problem.
"What was your mom doing when she was squirreled away?"
Apologies for the boringly normal normality, but mine never was "squirreled away." She was always there for us. No novels, no threesomes, can you believe it?
"Or are we all, always, residents of our mother's planet?"
We are, but not "always." Problem is, the actual planet is no longer hers.
Of all of the authors who did this, I have to say Madeleine l'Engle was the worst. And I hate to say that because I grew up reading her Austin Family and related books and wanting so badly to have that family. But she turned her kids into characters, even in one instance having the Austins "give away" the real life adopted daughter she had come to hate. She also wrote 4 "diaries", including one that is a heartbreakingly beautiful account of her amazing marriage to her husband. Except it isn't a diary at all, it's just total fiction. He was apparently famous for cheating on her almost constantly (he was a soap actor, of all things).
What do you do when your parent/spouse mines your relationship for material, and then writes you as she wishes you were and not as you are? My relationship with my mom has been damaged by her constant disappointment with me, but at least she didn't run around telling the world about it.
Ma's posterity is borrowed from "our Posterity".
My mother had 9 children in 14 years with a husband whose duties ended at bringing home a pay check. She was never squirrelled away.
One-child, selective-child, and data mining your child are novel ancient themes revisited in modern societies.
I’ve seen MJF on Twitter and CNBC. She’s unhinged. I didn’t know that her whack job mom made her daughter into a whack job by writing about her.
MJF is a person who should disappear from the public scene.
As the middle child of 6 siblings, more attention would have been appreciated, but at the same time I enjoyed the autonomy provided by older sibs who got in more trouble than me and younger sibs who needed more care. Having my extremely boring youth documented in factual form or fictional imaginings would be great for people who read to fall asleep, I believe.
Oh, the pitiful travails of world-famous, ultra-wealthy writers, actors, and singers! Oh -- and their offspring, too.
"Or are we all, always, residents of our mother's planet? In which case, why are you not comfortable in the world you were born into — born out of?"
I have always been comfortable in the world I was born into. The problem is, it does not exist anymore.
"there is no right way to do it."
And what, students, can we deduce from this statement?
"Would I have been normal had my mom not written about me?"
Setting aside what you might mean by "normal", the answer is no. If it wasn't the novel, it would be something else.
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