"A single shower might include undressing, turning on the water, lathering, hair-washing, shaving, rinsing, drying off and choosing what to wear. For someone without depression... moving through those steps might feel seamless, like watching a flip book animation in which the transitions are nearly invisible. But for someone with depression, the same process may feel like flipping one page at a time, with each additional step making the undertaking seem increasingly daunting.... The subsequent inability to shower can reinforce the belief that you can’t do anything right.... That can cause a feedback loop where poor hygiene actually exacerbates the underlying symptoms that prevented the shower in the first place."
From "Why Is It So Hard to Shower When I’m Depressed? Issues with hygiene are common symptoms of depression. Here’s why, and how to make bathing a little easier" (NYT).
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Maybe subconsciously what initially caused your depression, such as unwanted attention at a tender age, has led you to conclude poor hygiene will deter that attention. I recall having this theory explained in a court setting to me by a couple of psychologists. It comes to mind when I see young people do things to their body that seems repulsive.
Well, many on the left do reek.
Fuck Me!!! What schlocky worthless depression enabling advise. If you are so depressed that showering is an impossible chore, you have bigger problems than BO and greasy hair.
The solution is to continue with your junk food dietary habits, daily alcohol and cannabis consumption, don't exercise, don't get out in the sunshine and fresh air, don't immerse yourself in Nature, then go to your doctor and have them prescribe a cocktail of ssris and benzodiazipans.
If you don't sacrifice your health and well-being, the economic model will collapse.
Leland,
I think that is a very astute comment. I also think that is why some lonely young people ensure that loneliness by becoming overweight. Overweight used to work and now it seems they go further to obese. Speaking as a someone who was sexually molested at a very young age, four or so, I know that I spent a great deal of my life isolating myself with weight, physical distance, humor, and as a last resort anger. Thankfully, I was so depressed that showering was an onerous task. In fact, hygiene was something I remained scrupulous about.
In my 20s, my roommate and I played a fairly constant, “you can go first” thing with showering. Neither of us really liked taking showers. It was more about the stuff after…drying off, slathering on moisturizer, drying the hair…that we found tedious. So, I get that if you are depressed it can seem an ordeal. I’ve often said I’d love an ultrasonic (or some such) shower. You walk in, it zip zaps cleaning. No hair drying, no dry skin to moisturizer…just in and out. I say all this as someone who put in a big walk-in shower that makes me feel like I’m on vacation whenever I’m in there. I still find it tedious.
Follow up article will be "Why It Is Hard to Get Dressed While Depressed."
Part III: "Why It Is Hard to Get Out of Bed While Depressed."
Part IV: "Why It Is Hard to Eat and Breathe While Depressed."
Part V: "Why, God, Oh, Why?"
There is enough bullsh*t in one issue of the NYT to fertilize a field.
It takes me ten minutes to take a shower. It takes my wife an hour.
I rest my case.
OK Howard - that was good.
I don't need to read it, but if a newspaper is writing an article to help people make their way through a depression, then they should be complimented on that effort - wherever they started from. It's a devastating condition, and I'm thankful that modern medicine has made good progress on treatments for this.
I don't know what to say about someone that would gloat about a depression sufferer, except that it's hardly human and not terribly manly.
Depression is the disease of the narcissist. The cure is to snap out of it.
Jersey Fled-
Somewhat related joke by Jeff Foxworthy:
You can have a wife with long beautiful hair.
Or, you can be on time.
For me its the opposite. I like to take long showers when I'm depressed, lathargic. It's a way of getting out of my rut and getting the sense that I'm doing something without expending lots of energy.
Spring is depressing not despite its wondrous beauty but because of it. How is it that winter lasts forever, but cherry blossoms are gone in a week? Such depression is compounded if you have hay fever. Not only is it the most poignantly beautiful season of the year, but the beauty makes your eyes itch. You are literally allergic to the beauty around you. Well, the plus side of hay fever is that you have to shower frequently to rinse that pollen from your body. The only relief is when you're standing under the shower. Hay fever patients have many dark thoughts about the transient nature of life and beauty, but they practice good hygiene.
people just Need to Realize, that their "depression" is all in their head.
It's not a Real illness, you're just thinking it
The answer is in the question: Why?
I'm with @EAB and @Aggie.
For the commenters here who haven't lived with a clinically depressed loved one, God bless you.
EAB said...
In my 20s, my roommate and I played a fairly constant, “you can go first” thing with showering. Neither of us really liked taking showers. It was more about the stuff after…drying off, slathering on moisturizer, drying the hair…that we found tedious. So, I get that if you are depressed it can seem an ordeal. I’ve often said I’d love an ultrasonic (or some such) shower. You walk in, it zip zaps cleaning. No hair drying, no dry skin to moisturizer…just in and out. I say all this as someone who put in a big walk-in shower that makes me feel like I’m on vacation whenever I’m in there. I still find it tedious.
Don't use soap or shampoo. Then you wont need moisturizer.
It has been years since I have used either soap or shampoo. I take several showers a day in the summer when it gets hot and humid. They take a couple minutes each at most. Brushing my teeth in the shower is the long shower time.
You will be shocked how fast your skin dries off when you let it act naturally. Dandruff is caused by shampoo. My hair and scalp are so much healthier now.
Showers are a very quick thing. Usually a reset between indoor and outdoor tasks now.
Simple household chores are a great antidote to a seeming inability to accomplish tasks. Somehow performing a repetitive task like sweeping a broom across a floor helps the mind reroute from its blockages. And I say that as one who personally has lived with depression, to the point that a basket of laundry needing folded once daunted me utterly. When that happens, try a simple chore along with someone else.
Then hie thee to a doctor and get on Pristiq or some other brain chemistry fixer-upper.
What Jersey Fled said.
Aggie said...
I don't need to read it, but if a newspaper is writing an article to help people make their way through a depression, then they should be complimented on that effort - wherever they started from. It's a devastating condition, and I'm thankful that modern medicine has made good progress on treatments for this.
I don't know what to say about someone that would gloat about a depression sufferer, except that it's hardly human and not terribly manly.
These are soft times in the United States. Most people have not been through formative events that lead to self reflection.
Pretty much every child in Afghanistan is used sexually at a young age. They live with dirt floors, no shoes, and livestock under their bed so their neighbors can't steal it. All of us deal with shit. Some more than others and with a variety of effects.
I have manic/depressive cycles. When I am in the valley it sucks. The hardest part is that fact that I could sleep for 20 hours a day. I don't but it still sucks.
If you watch TV you are coping with depression by the way. Watching TV reduces brain activity and lets time pass with low levels of stimulation. There are many other modern activities that follow this pattern.
The New York Times ... America's number one self-help magazine.
I thought we weren't supposed to shower, in order to save the planet (heating the water requires energy, wastes scarce water resources, soap is bad for your skin and phosphates pollute fresh water supplies).
I've known several depressed people. Serious depression. They describe it as not being able to do anything. Even gettng out of bed or a chair takes great effort. One stopped eating and had to be forced by his wife to take in food. The other just wanted eat all day to feel better.
Fortunatly, neither had a drug or alcohol problem.
Mental illness is frightening because it's real, because it's origins and cure are uncertain, and because self diagnosis is fraught with error.
We are in the midst of a mental illness pandemic that is having horrendous social consequences.
For the commenters here who haven't lived with a clinically depressed loved one, God bless you.
Hear hear.
The difference between clinical and situational depression is profound. "I'm so depressed" is not at all the same thing as "I don't know why I should stay alive."
Depression is real and it is horrible. I am surprised so many well-informed people are ignorant of that.
This makes sense...
Moisturizer? What dat?
Steve, I learned this as a juror on a juvenile sexual assault case. The perp tried to use the victims coping mechanism as suggestions they had mental issues, which was partially true, but actual psychologists pointed out those were usually associated with unwanted sexual contact. It was critical evidence, but the conviction was mostly based on the perp also claiming the youth learned about sex by accidentally catching the perp watching porn, then in cross denied ever watching porn. My only hope was that the conviction would help the victim recover.
Having a broken nose from when a cow kicked me on the ranch as a youth, the shower is the one time when my nostrils become completely clear (don't ask). So even when I was depressed, shower time was the best.
What M Jordan said...
I come from a place where, given the lack of wealth and the necessity to work, people could not avail themselves of luxury goods such as rumination and depression. I never - not once! - observed a depressed person after a day toiling the soil in the hot summer sun!
Exercise can be an effective tonic for mild depression. The problem can be getting started. I have the additional problem that pollen allergies make me lethargic.
Moisturizer? What dat?
Grease. Makes a mess of my skin.
Like everything else, depression comes in many forms -- it's not a 'one size fits all' deal. But let's accept the description that, for some, it can be so debilitating that showering becomes a challenge. So, can a battle with cancer or obesity or lots of other maladies even if the debilitation manifests in a different way. Everyone has his or her particular cross to bear in life, and they can multiply as you get older. No one gets a pass on that (sorry if this is news but no Garden of Eden open and accepting residents right now). So, it's certainly true that it sucks to be afflicted with any of those maladies. Now, if you're unfortunate enough to be in that position (and we all will be at some point), what are you going to do about it?
The obvious answer is for depressed people to read poetry out loud in the shower -- but do it first, so that the list of steps involved isn't so daunting.
Singing in the shower is for happy people.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
As does a trip to the shower.
Of course, there is no law that states you have to do either.
Skipping a shower every now and again isn't harmful. I've been known to do it every now and again. Different reasons or none at all. Could be too exhausted at the end of the day. Or could be I was too lazy to do anything all day that got me to where I needed one.
Actually, just finished my 2nd one today. First one after 30 minutes on the treadmill, 4.5% grade, 3.5 mph. Second one after using the string trimmer outdoors for about 40 minutes. Would still be doing that, but rain started up. Again.
Reminds me that one task I had on one vessel I served on was to tell another sailor to shower after every other watch- every 36 hours or so. Bunch of others were standing around complaining he never took one and smelled. TBH, my sense of smell isn't all that good, and I hadn't noticed. So after next watch together, I told him "Take a shower." Of course he asked why. I gave him the simple answer- "Because I told you to." He didn't object, he just needed a reminder... Anyone who has served in the military has known someone like that.
Not all depression is clinical depression.
Most peoples depression (IMO, YMMV) is due to people not achieving something. It's 'depressing' when at the end of the day, looking back and asking yourself 'what did I do, today? Nothing'. This isn't depression, but can be easily exacerbated.
Make a list, do things on the list. Make it as granular as you like. Instead of 'take a shower' as a single item, break it out into two items: 'take a shower' and 'wear those funky green socks grandma bought last Christmas'. Check those items off your list.
Jesus, these people are so tedious.
I wonder if they have in reserve an article on how difficult it is to defecate in a toilet when depressed.
Getting up, walking to the lav, opening the door, turning on a light, and so many steps to do before you doo then the post doo steps - exhausting!
I never - not once! - observed a depressed person after a day toiling the soil in the hot summer sun!
Exercise is generally part of the treatment plan, I understand. And it does help. (So is carrying out the routines of everyday life like personal hygiene.)
But we live in a world that doesn't make it mandatory, so the depressed person has to choose to follow through on the treatment plan. Which is the point of the article, it seems to me.
I believe I've previously told of my day at the driving range, either topping the ball or hitting six inches behind it on every shot. A friend of my husband happened to show up and helpfully told me, "I see your problem. You've got to just brush the grass."
I refrained from hitting him with my club, but I did say, "Well, Jim, if I could do that I wouldn't be having the problem, would I?"
Let’s not forget federally mandated bad shower heads - that depresses me.
When going through horrible grief after the death of my son, I had to steel myself and use every ounce of willpower to get in the shower each morning, so I think there might be something to this article. It is weird that showering was so difficult, and it's weirder still to find out that people with serious depression feel the same way.
I wonder if the custom of sitting shiva arose because people suffering terrible grief after the death of a loved one just could not bring themselves to bathe for a few days and others just assumed that was the proper way to mourn, so it became a custom.
One thing I don't agree with in the article is that idea that some kind of cognitive complexity causes the problem. I think instead it might have something to do with vulnerability and a hesitancy to enter into another day. Even months later I found myself thinking that if I just did not DO anything maybe I would finally wake up from the horrible dream in which I found myself.
I have nothing but sympathy for the people dealing with this kind of feeling even in the absence of immediate grief and loss. To feel that way all the time is a horrible torture.
I'd be depressed if I couldn't take a shower. Nothing improves your day better than feeling clean and fresh.
Make a list, do things on the list.
That's probably a good test to distinguish between frustration, disappointment, laziness and actual depression.
Depressed people don't make fucking lists. If, somehow, they could start one, it would probably take several weeks to finish.
Is that why Biden showered with his daughter???
Everything is hard when you are depressed.
Jordan Peterson had a neuropsychologist on once, who was saying something to the effect that his studies showed that every positive act of "work" or directed activity generates a shot of dopamine or something, and that builds upon itself. So the key is to take that small action. He may have been a quack (and I am way oversimplifying what he said), but it makes a certain amount of sense.
It is part of what Peterson is talking about when he tells people to clean up their rooms. He works (or did work; the Nazis a re taking away his license) with the very seriously depressed, so he knows of what he speaks.
Getting out of bed and making yourself take that shower is a big and important step.
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