१५ ऑगस्ट, २०२३

"'Take in the sounds,' said Rua Williamson, who was leading the men in a breathwork session.... Williamson laid his hand on the tummy of Alex Mero, a 52-year-old accountant..."

"... in a light-purple T-shirt and black eyeglasses. He wrapped his hands around the waist of 30-year-old Dru Haynesworth, an activist and community health worker from Southeast Washington wearing a T-shirt that said 'VOTE.' He brought the men together with a collective ommmm. 'Feel the vibration resonate in the floor,' Williamson said. 'Feel the connection to your brothers.' It was a kind of connection that U.S. men increasingly say is missing from their lives, leaving them lonely, disconnected and, often, angry.... American men’s isolation stems in large part from a pervasive cultural belief, experts say: that men should be self-reliant and hide their emotions, especially from other men...."

Writes Tara Bahrampour in "Men’s groups are embracing an alternative conception of American masculinity" (WaPo).

I'm not a man — neither is the author of this article — but given the choice between disconnected solitude and breathwork supervisors laying hands on my "tummy" and demanding I om my way into a connection with brothers, I'd go with the solitude. Surely, there are other ways for men to find men to find friends — much better ways.

I'm surprised these "men's groups" are still around.

७६ टिप्पण्या:

Mr Wibble म्हणाले...

Do they want more Andrew Tate? Because, this is how you get more Andrew Tate.

wild chicken म्हणाले...

About 20 years ago my husband went to a cursillo and I got to admit he was a lot nicer to me afterward. I think they did a lot of crying or something, and I suspect the deacon told them to be nicer to their wives. LOL.

I think my husband was disappointed that they didn't really all become pals afterward tho. They just moved on.

PrimoStL म्हणाले...

Unlike the definition ally challenged Kentanji Brown Jackson, I can define what a man is. I can do that mostly through a process of elimination. Those aren't men.

Go ahead. Give me another

n.n म्हणाले...

It's not just an American thing, the utilitarian sex, the masculine gender, lays hands on women's tummies.

madAsHell म्हणाले...

Men don’t group.

Enigma म्हणाले...

Men's groups are about drinking, and chatting about cars, the last war, home improvement, dreams of being a commando or LARPer, and lots of talk about women/sex. See the old school Masonic lodges, VFWs, Elk Lodges, and corner bars.

Men who attend mixed-sex female-heavy churches, clubs, or events are looking to (1) find a wife, or (2) find a long-term romantic partner, or (3) find a one-night stand. Random degree of commitment per the man.

Breathwork...a way to gain access to a different group of women...

rrsafety म्हणाले...

"Men are embracing an alternative conception of American masculinity"
No we aren't....

MadisonMan म्हणाले...

Meh. I suspect these men were pushed to this group by their partner.

Cappy म्हणाले...

If beer and football aren't involved those aren't men.

Kevin म्हणाले...

Real men don’t have tummies.

gilbar म्हणाले...

do you know what is Missing, from these poor losers lives?
you KNOW what is Missing, from these poor losers lives!
FISHING!

These pathetic losers wouldn't know a rapala floating lure, from a Dardevle spoon.
And that is Just SAD.. Maybe they should consider suicide.. Or a Zepco 33

tim maguire म्हणाले...

wild chicken said...I think my husband was disappointed that they didn't really all become pals afterward tho. They just moved on.

It's possible that all of them were disappointed that they didn't really all become pals afterward. Men are funny that way.

MadTownGuy म्हणाले...

Promise Weepers.

Heartless Aztec म्हणाले...

Solitude is preferable to the laying on the hands of strangers. I don't even like to hug my ife long buddies. A handshakes and fist bumps is just fine thank you very much.

NorthOfTheOneOhOne म्हणाले...

He wrapped his hands around the waist of 30-year-old Dru Haynesworth...

Are we sure they're men? I've knows a lot of men named Andrew in my time who went by "Drew", but I've never met one who went by "Dru". Looks like a diminutive for Drusilla.

Tina Trent म्हणाले...

It is all Robert Bly's fault.

Quayle म्हणाले...

Asking "How 'bout dem Bears?!?" seems sufficient to me.

tommyesq म्हणाले...

Play tennis, basketball, hockey etc.; join a band; find some fishing buddies; coach your kids' teams - that is how men interact these days.

tommyesq म्हणाले...

Men's groups are about drinking, and chatting about cars, the last war, home improvement, dreams of being a commando or LARPer, and lots of talk about women/sex.

In my experience, men (at least those over about 30) don't really talk about women or sex all that much, by then they have learned discretion.

Bob Boyd म्हणाले...

The first rule of Tummy Club is you don't talk about tummy club.

tommyesq म्हणाले...

Maybe they should consider suicide.. Or a Zepco 33

Zepco? ZEPCO??? Gilbar is loosing some credibility here (hint - it is "Zebco" and the 33 is the spincasting reel that virtually everyone learned to fish with as a kid).

cassandra lite म्हणाले...

Sri Robert Bly.

Sebastian म्हणाले...

"Men’s groups are embracing an alternative conception of American masculinity"

The horror, the horror. And that's how progs sneakily reinforce the deplorable conception.

Siduri म्हणाले...

Wait ... this was a Star Trek episode. "The Way to Eden." Hilarious.

Still, in my very conservative church with definite distinctions between men and women, occasionally Elders will lay hands on other men and pray. But this is what these men will never have, so they substitute ohmming.

Buckwheathikes म्हणाले...

Ann Althouse wrote: "I'm not a man — neither is the author of this article ...

Bwahahahaha.

Rest assured Ann ... men are not doing this. Stop reading the NY Times and the Washington Post. THEY are doing this. Not men.

hombre म्हणाले...

The CCP has been watching the evolution of the Democrats' "alternate conceptions of masculinity" reflected in our armed forces for some time now.

Tina Trent म्हणाले...

Jordan Peterson is the new men's movement. Bob Boyd is a moniker genius.

Tina Trent म्हणाले...

Jordan Peterson is the new men's movement. Bob Boyd is a moniker genius.

Paddy O म्हणाले...

Is there a drum circle, if there's not a drum circle then it doesn't take itself seriously as men's connecting group.

Also, I'd like to have some barbaric yawps too, but that might have been replaced by the civilizing om, a sure sign of our weakening society.

Assistant Village Idiot म्हणाले...

If they have to call it "work," it's not work, it's play.

Bob Boyd म्हणाले...

Tara: So what would you two say is the basis of your friendship? Alex?

Alex: "Well...we met at Tummy Club. That's when we discovered we share a deep, almost Obamian level of abdominal androgyny."

Dru: "That's right. One day Alex farted when Rua, he's our session leader, touched him. It was a hardwood floor so it was really loud, right? And like everybody laughed, but then I realized I had felt the vibration through the floor. And it made me tingle. Isn't that wild? That's when I knew we had a...I don't know...a connection. So, after class I asked Alex if he wanted to go for smoothie and he said, and I'll never forget this, he said, "Uh...okay." We've been hanging out ever since. Alex is like this really cool guy and now that really cool guy is my best friend. How about that?"

Alex: "Dru's way cooler than me."

Rusty म्हणाले...

I think maybe those guys should be shopping for frocks.

Iman म्हणाले...

Mincing their way to self-realization…

The Crack Emcee म्हणाले...

Many of the most popular cults of the 70s were based around large group awareness training.

Some Americans just like to give themselves over to groups.

gilbar म्हणाले...

oops! i am embarrassed beyond belief. In my defense; i haven't used my zebco 33 in a LONG time, and i've NEVER used a rapala (which i had to look up to spell correctly), and the last time i cast a Dardevle spoon (which i ALSO had to look up to spell), i cast it With my zebco 33 (which i DIDN'T look up, because i ASSUMED i could spell :()

Please note: i am now a complete and total flycasting snob. I don't even think tenkara is fly fishing (and i spelt that correctly, but Still had to double check).

But the point is: these losers should go fishing! i assume that they'd be too girlyish to use real worms, but a chartreuse mister twister should be a good starting place. They should stay away from trout streams though.

Big Mike म्हणाले...

"Men are embracing an alternative conception of American masculinity"
No we aren't....


+ 1

Bruce Hayden म्हणाले...

“If beer and football aren't involved those aren't men.”

I think that you need to broaden it from football, or fishing, etc. I don’t do either. Even less, for me, baseball or basketball. I will leave a party early, if all the guys congregate to watch a football game. Not that much beer. For me, it’s skiing, esp back country skiing. For my best friend, it is even more sailing. Also, guns for a lot of guys. I think that is more sharing a passion.

gilbar म्हणाले...

To be fair though a zepco 33 is just about the most best spinning rod on earth.
Nearly indestructible, and can be purchased with a zebco rod for less than $30 (amazon portal)

protip: but take off the 10 lb test (or whatever) that's on it, and replace with with 4lb test.
You'll catch more bluegills. Heck, you can use it then for trouts.
(gilbar's 1st hundred or so trouts were ALL caught on a 33 with 4lb test and a #9 baitholder hook and a small nightcrawler. If you're looking to kill some trouts: THAT is What to use. mmm!)

Omaha1 म्हणाले...

I am internally laughing at the potential fate of some guru who laid a hand on my husband's "tummy." It would probably be worth me paying for this course just to observe his reactions. Sadly, there are no such therapies in small-town Kansas.

Bruce Hayden म्हणाले...

“In my experience, men (at least those over about 30) don't really talk about women or sex all that much, by then they have learned discretion.”

Talking about sex is more high school. I lived in a fraternity in college, and sex was something that you did, and didn’t talk about. If a guy did talk too much about his sexual conquests, it would get around, and the women would start shunning him, for good reason - he couldn’t be trusted. Sure, we had some hound dogs there, asking about my live in GF, but they were the followers, who never got the best women. I would never confirm or deny what was going on behind closed doors. That’s what the better quality women wanted, and got. Sure, after a couple decades, you could admit some of it.

donald म्हणाले...

I just bought a Stella 10000. I’m gonna throw huge poppers at dolphin and tuna from a kayak. Then I’m going out the next day to jig tuna with it. I’m doing that Thursday. I’m no badass, but yeah, those ain’t men. More like males I guess. Gil bar is right.

Ficta म्हणाले...

Beavis : I'm not gonna join any men's club unless it's got like, chicks in it, and stuff.

Mr. Van Driessen : Being in the captivity of nature without women is the perfect way to wrestle with your manhood.

Butt-head : Beavis wrestles with his manhood.

Beavis : Heh-heh... Yeah, and I usually win.

Yancey Ward म्हणाले...

Our society is well and truly fucked.

Maynard म्हणाले...

I am not sure what "an alternative conception of American masculinity" really is.

A secure, masculine man tries new things and keeps or discards them as he sees fit. Life is not static if you are secure in yourself.

I wore a ponytail in the early 70's and a diamond earring in the 80's. It seemed cool. Now I get a short haircut every 7 weeks and the pierced ear has probably closed up.

Do I think differently of my masculinity now? No. Of course not. It is just fashion.

~ Gordon Pasha म्हणाले...

I've had a steady group of male friends for over 25 years.. We concentrate on gun dog training, fishing, boating, and waterfowliing. No one has touched any one else's tummy - and we're all ok with that.

Narr म्हणाले...

Sounds like yoga by another name to me.

I detest physical contact with other men and only enjoy it with certain select females.

The guy we hired to say the right words at my brothers' and mother's services was a big one for the manly shoulder grip. I thought he had a lot of nerve.

DLH म्हणाले...

Cappy and Gilbar nailed it. Outdoors, sports, football etc… that’s how most men engage. Gilbar, jointed Rapala or unjointed?

JAORE म्हणाले...

Ommmmmmygawdthesepeopleareinsufferable.

The Tangerine Tornado म्हणाले...

What's a man?

wild chicken म्हणाले...

"Men are funny that way."

I am too. Get all involved, hold these big events then everyone moves on afterward. Friendship just doesn't take like when you're young.

PM म्हणाले...

Used to host a poker game at my office every couple weeks. Same crew. Pizza, beverages.
'Felt a connection with my brothers' while trying to clean 'em out. Good times.

Oligonicella म्हणाले...

Not uncommon to hug a good friend where I live. Caressing someone's stomach? Not happening.

We do, however, have some Baptists who will try to take your head and put their forehead against it as the "pray" for you (laying on of hands). We call them head grabbers and no one likes them except their brethren. I've only had it tried twice in forty some years and they seemed surprised that I did a double outside block to bat their hands away followed by a finger wag in their face with a "No, no, no."

Oligonicella म्हणाले...

Bruce Hayden: said...

"Sure, we had some hound dogs there,"

We called them horndogs.

Aggie म्हणाले...

When male is not masculine. Are they wearing yoga pants?

Bigwig म्हणाले...

"Men are embracing an alternative conception of American masculinity"

The WP would let us know if these are trans-men, right? Right?

BUMBLE BEE म्हणाले...

I'm surprised these "men's groups" are still around.

Well it IS WAPO after all.
Paid by the word, Publish or Perish.

M म्हणाले...

This sounds really homosexual. I’m surprised you are not all for it.

JaimeRoberto म्हणाले...

While these men are at their group gathering, their wives are having a nice date with their boyfriends.

whiskey म्हणाले...

Men's prayer groups are incredibly popular in the tiny slice of life I am part of. I have been invited to three and know of many more.

mikee म्हणाले...

As long as the belly touching stays out of the workplace, I guess it is OK by me.
But if some office Johnny tries a "And Leon's getting LAAAARGER!" on me, I'm gonna sit on him.

Mad Anthony Wayne म्हणाले...

I’ll skip the ohm or touching and join a Model Railroad club, a miniature or board Wargaming club, or other hobby group.

Jupiter म्हणाले...

Technically, those aren't "men", they're "pre-ops".

Jupiter म्हणाले...

"But the point is: these losers should go fishing!"

I'm probably going to piss some people off here, but What did fish ever do to you? What kind of a sick bastard gets up before dawn to go torture hapless fish to death? I really don't get it. Fish have it hard; birds, bears, other fish, everything on Earth is trying to kill them and eat them. Plus, of course, they're hungry too. But they don't stick a barbed hook into a can of beer and try to haul me into the lake by my face.

Iman म्हणाले...

Perhaps these are pop-up men.

Kate म्हणाले...

When I lived in Germany and rode the city transit in the evening, a whole gaggle of young men would board, singing at the top of their lungs. They were also drinking beer and wearing matching (soccer) scarves.

Did we used to sing more, or is that my imagination? Nothing beats singing as a way to breathe deeply.

Mikey NTH म्हणाले...

This stuff again? I recall back in the 1970's how men were fetting more sensitive and opening up to and in touch with their emotions, etc.

What goes around comes around again and again.

IamDevo म्हणाले...

Unless we are within three degrees of consanguinity or you are married to someone within that classification, don't touch me. Just... don't. Man Rule No. 1.

Bruce Hayden म्हणाले...

"Sure, we had some hound dogs there,"

“We called them horndogs.”

Same thing, I think. I look back, and had a better selection of women, because I wasn’t. I took one girl to a fraternity function, and she left with my best friend. After that, I was the safest guy in he house for her, and 20 years later at a reunion, she insisted on dancing with e all night, because I was the only one she could trust. We were talking about my next brother just now, and I think that was his problem - he ran after the wrong women, because his friends did. In HS, it was fine, but his college GF was trying to move up to real money, and she succeeded, marrying one of his fraternity brothers in Aspen, where his family had a place, and private jets to get there. He couldn’t afford the girls his fraternity brothers attracted.

Omaha1 म्हणाले...

"Try that in a small town"

gilbar म्हणाले...

What did fish ever do to you?
fish are VICIOUS killers! they eagerly MURDER Every mayfly they can.
I'm Just Trying to avenge the Mayflies!

Prof. M. Drout म्हणाले...

Creepy. Very creepy. Men, and young men especially, NEED good relationships with other men, but there are fewer and fewer places for that to happen. The multi-decade war of the "Student Life" bureaucracy against fraternities has mostly eliminated one of the most effective socializing institutions in middle-class American life. Unless they have played pretty intensive team sports (particularly football), a lot of young men just don't know how to get along with other guys. Fraternities are great at teaching how to keep your individuality when living in a group without irritating the crap out other people. In fraternities, young men first learn followership and then leadership: how to work in a group to accomplish things without "orders" being given. When you can't give orders, because people will just ignore you if you do, you learn better ways to lead and motivate.
I think one of the reasons our current "leadership" class sucks so badly is that too few of them ever learned those kinds of lessons and therefore have no idea how to lead through example, encouragement, and personal interaction. All they do is create "policies" and give orders (and they actually suck at both of those) with the result of immensely more organizational friction and less organizational competence.
And yes, single-sex organizations work MUCH better at doing this developmental work, as men can much better handle failing, being publicly corrected, and learning from the experience when they are in an all-male environment. Having even a single woman present completely changes the psychological dynamic (I assume the same is true for women). And yet, in order to indulge the resentments of a tiny group of upper-middle-class women, we have systematically eliminated all-male spaces throughout the educational system.

Narr म्हणाले...

Just here to get the comments up to the sacred 69. Seemed appropriate.

Gahrie म्हणाले...

But they don't stick a barbed hook into a can of beer and try to haul me into the lake by my face.

They would if they could.

Rusty म्हणाले...

The basis of all male humor is the other guy getting hit in the nuts.
Women do not understand this.

Jupiter म्हणाले...

"I'm Just Trying to avenge the Mayflies!"

OK, that's legit. Do you get to wear a costume?

Jupiter म्हणाले...

"They would if they could."

No doubt. Look what they do to the mayflies.

But I follow the military doctrine. "We don't consider intentions. We consider capabilities."