२२ ऑगस्ट, २०२३

"[P]eople enjoy repeat experiences more than they predict they will. And not because they use the sameness to lull themselves into a comfortable trance..."

"... but because they discover new things they’d missed first time around.... 'Doing something once may engender an inflated sense that one has now seen "it," leaving people naive to the missed nuances remaining to enjoy.' It’s less a question of loving the familiar, then, than of discovering it wasn’t so familiar after all. This isn’t so surprising when you consider the mismatch between the information bombarding our brains at any given moment and the tiny amount our conscious minds can process (about 0.0003% of the total, according to one estimate) which means almost everything gets filtered out.... We have no trouble accepting that the work of Shakespeare or Austen repays multiple encounters. But our limited capacities mean the same is true, to some extent, of any airport thriller or TV reality show. When you relate to everyday life in this spirit, you begin to grasp what the writer Sam Harris means when he says that 'boredom is always just a lack of attention.'"

 From "Do you love doing the same thing over and over? Here's why it doesn’t make you boring/We don’t always need new distractions – there’s a value to experiencing something more than once" (The Guardian).

That's from January 2020. I found it this morning because I googled "I love doing the same thing every day." 

I also found "Benefits of Doing The Same Things Every Day" by a man who'd started doing the same 6 things every day — "Read 20 pages/Play piano for 20 minutes/Express gratitude/Make the bed/Meditate for 2 minutes/Write at least 500 words."

If you were going to commit to doing 6 things every day, what 6 things would you pick? I don't think "make the bed" should be on a list. That's like putting brush your teeth or drink coffee on the list. And  “Express gratitude" — is too vague. It's like putting "Smile!" on the list.

Also, I don't like the numericality of: 20, 20, 2, 500. I wouldn't keep score. I blog every day (and as of January 14, 2024, I will have blogged every day for 20 years), but I have no rule about how much to blog, and I'm low-level amazed to see that no matter how slow or fast I seem to go, I end up with about the same number of posts a week and a year. 

I'm just noticing that I'm good at doing the same thing every day. I have a knack for doing things by the day. If you're bored or anxious about doing the same thing every day, you're not doing it right.

Here's an old Reddit discussion: "How the fuck are people okay with doing the same thing everyday? Doesn't it get old? Why do you want to be in the same cycle for the rest of your life?" Notably, it's from the subreddit "depression."

Somebody comments: "I'm not okay, but I feel like I'm trapped. I'm a slave to addiction and routine...or lack thereof. I do the same shit every day and always, always feel bad about it, but never enough to actually get my shit together and change...."

It's similar to the question how can marriage work. If you do it right, there's more variety within the sameness than variety in variety.

४३ टिप्पण्या:

gilbar म्हणाले...

back in the 1990's i was re-rereading The Lord of The Rings..
After finishing the appendixes (the Best Parts), i carried the Return of the King back to the bookshelf.
While there, i picked up the Fellowship of the Ring, intending to start over again..
BUT WAIT! i thought to myself. If i just re-read The Lord of the Rings, WHENEVER i want to..
there Might come a time, that i MIGHT become Bored re-re-reading it.
I IMMEDIATELY imposed A Strict Rule. i am NOT allowed, to read The Lord of the Rings, More than ONCE a year.
Since that time, i have followed that rule (religiously) and am currently impatiently awaiting Bilbo's birthday (sept 22), so that i can reread it this year. I can't wait to find out how it will end
(the book i mean. Usually it turns out to end well, but i'm making No Predictions)

RideSpaceMountain म्हणाले...

"[P]eople enjoy repeat experiences more than they predict they will."

And that is why McDonald's are on every continent except Antarctica.

wild chicken म्हणाले...

Whenever I feel like I'm bored with my days I remember the 9/11 widows saying how much they missed their daily routine.

So that.

rehajm म्हणाले...

...but because they discover new things they’d missed first time around...

...and that's the thing- it isn't the same thing. It is new and different. Only the language label is the same...

Lem Vibe Bandit म्हणाले...

Confessional: Lem still plays solitaire on the computer like he used to do when he worked at an office a long time ago in a state very far away.

RigelDog म्हणाले...

I walk my neighborhood and nearby wooded park many times a week. It's always different, you just have to look, listen, smell, and take in the vital air.

deepelemblues म्हणाले...

I reread books, essays, and rewatch shows and movies, all the time. If they're good they're good and I enjoy them just as much as the first time.

The very first time!

n.n म्हणाले...

Are we there yet?!

Wa St Blogger म्हणाले...

Paragraph 7. think = thing

Like most things, people fall on a spectrum. There is both the comfort of the familiar and the value of variety. the blogger spouse is much more on the familiar than I am, and I am more on the familiar than the variety than average. Blogger spouse can eat the same breakfast every day, day in and day out. I couldn't stand that. I like variety within a set of familiar. I re-read books, but usually not for at least 5 years later. Anything sooner and I remember too much of it. I rarely re-watch tv shows, but I do have a number of movies I've seen multiple times, (though often many years later.)

.0003%? Maybe they are counting microscopic things we can't see. Or maybe we just don't care to notice some things, but even still I can't fathom missing that much. If I re-watch something soon after the last time there is very little I notice the 2nd time that I missed. maybe I just have huge tunnel vision and would never notice the other 99.997%. Ever. I suppose I will never know.

I did notice the think/thing right off the bat, there is that...

R C Belaire म्हणाले...

There are a few books I re-read now and then, but it's mostly movies that I re-watch. My wife doesn't get it, but I find comfort -- and entertainment -- in doing so. Oftentimes, something unnoticed in past viewings suddenly jumps out. Amazing!

Anthony म्हणाले...

Some of us tend to thrive on routine. That makes doing new or different things a little more fun.

I've probably read The Raven over a hundred times and I still find new things in it to enjoy.

I go to the gym every morning (weekdays) and then do something (run, swim, bike) in the afternoon nearly every day (mainly as an excuse to drink beer afterwards). And write in a journal/diary every evening, and usually do some typing on a typewriter (letters) every day as well. And go for a walk after dinner every evening. Maybe I'm a bit OCD, whenever I start doing something it's kind of like a ratchet and I feel like I have to keep doing it.

Interested Bystander म्हणाले...

I have several writers I'll read over and over again. Like the article says, everytime I re-read a story I've read before I see new things in it. So often when I'm reading I skim through the story wanting to see what's going to happen but when re-reading I can take it all in and enjoy the choices of phrases and descriptions.

CJinPA म्हणाले...

If you were going to commit to doing 6 things every day, what 6 things would you pick?

#1...

I can't think of any beyond what I normally do anyway. I go to my job(s), read (blogs), strum guitar, talk to my wife, watch real crime shows, eat. It's fulfilling.

I think imposing an artificial routine would drain the enjoyment and make the day...boring.

Smilin' Jack म्हणाले...

Make the bed/Unmake the bed/Nap in bed/Make the bed/Unmake the bed/Sleep in bed/. Done!

Kate म्हणाले...

That sounds wonderful, @gilbar. Waiting for Bilbo's birthday ...

Narr म्हणाले...

I've lived in the same city all my life, have been married to the same lucky woman since 1977, worked at the same place for almost forty years (two years doing something completely different), and study and enjoy the same topics and pastimes that I have since I was a kid.

I'm amazed at the sort of regularity and diligence the Prof displays with the blog; I don't even read all the posts every day.

Temujin म्हणाले...

I, with my limited capacities, likes to repeat things. Good movies. Good books. Great vacation spots.
And I also like new things.
The problem is time. With the time we have left, how do we split up that time between those things we know we love and new things that might be great?
Life is short (and money is limited). One can only go on so many vacations. Read so many books. View so many movies. Vote so many times in the same election. Sometimes doing the new thing is the best thing. If my limited capacity can handle it.

Leland म्हणाले...

If people didn’t enjoy routine, then the phrase, “get out of your comfort zone” wouldn’t exist.

The routines I share with my wife are the most precious things in my life.

PM म्हणाले...

1. Africano.
2. Web.
3. Write.
4. Hike.
5. Fix shit.
6. TCM.

Static Ping म्हणाले...

I have a tendency once I become interested in something that I want to know more and more about the topic. Once you understand Layer 1 of something, that unlocks Layer 2, and once you unlock that, you are ready for Layer 3, and so forth and so on. The main problems with this sort of things are twofold:

1. After a while it feels more like an obligation rather than fun. There does come a point when stepping away, at least for a while, is healthy.
2. People who are not interested in the topic, are generally put off discussing anything beyond Layer 1. If you want to continue with this subject, either you need to join a niche group of people who really like this sort of thing, or you will end up socially boring.

ronetc म्हणाले...

One of the few good parts of being old is that I can read a novel or watch a movie that I remember enjoying . . . but experience it as completely new, since I have forgotten all details. I find that if I remember enjoying it before, I will this time too. The amount of time needed to forget details is steadily dwindling. Soon I will need to choose the only one novel and the only one movie I will watch.

Art in LA म्हणाले...

I had a discussion with a friend long ago and we decided that the best life is the one lived right on the edge of boredom, LOL.

Free Manure While You Wait! म्हणाले...

"How the fuck are people okay with doing the same thing everyday? Doesn't it get old?"

Does that include working on an assembly line? Because I did that when I was in my early twenties. And yes, it does get old, but at the same time, the mind is free to wander, make plans, fantasize about the hot girl working across the aisle, etc.

Was I okay with it? Oh hell yes, because back in the early 1970s, if you landed a job at the right factory as I did (at 21 years of age) you could be earning 50% above the median income for a household of four. Of course that is no longer the case these days which is why back then, only one household member had to work.

In 2021, the median household income in America was $70K. Adding another 50% brings that up to $105K. How many unskilled 21-year-olds earn that today?

Free Manure While You Wait! म्हणाले...

"I reread books, essays, and rewatch shows and movies, all the time. If they're good they're good and I enjoy them just as much as the first time.

The very first time!"

Yup. Which is why I've watched Apocalypse Now more than 40 times.

typingtalker म्हणाले...

This isn’t so surprising when you consider the mismatch between the information bombarding our brains at any given moment and the tiny amount our conscious minds can process (about 0.0003% of the total, according to one estimate)

That's three ten-thousandths of a percent ... or ... 3/1,000,000 ... or 1/333,333.

Who did that experiment and where was it published?

I can process that statement on paper but not in my brain.

Heartless Aztec म्हणाले...

The search for a perfect waves and riding them when discovered. I've been chasing and riding waves all over the globe since 1965. Every wave is different - a unique canvas to perform a gymnastic dance while riding moving water. I've ridden thousands of waved in close to sixty years prowling surf breaks. It was and remains obsessive.

iowan2 म्हणाले...

I have never read those self help books, but is suspect a routine is a part of all of them.

People that are at odds with themselves, or the world, however look to such aides to attain a better outlook.
That is a process of actions more than thoughts. Thoughts are lazy. Actions, well you have to DO things.
Making the bed is interesting. To Althouse, a made bed is no more than brushing your teeth. But is the action and result that delivers a 'change'. If you dont make your bed are you a terrible person? No, but it does say that you think so little of your own worth, even you, wont invest 90 seconds, that delivers the simple joy of crawling into a crisp made bed. You refuse to take an action that you are the one receiving the reward.

Express gratitude" — is too vague. It's like putting "Smile!" on the list

Again, you are in your sweet zone. Lots of people feel like they could be doing better. A gratitude list, updated everyday, with different things to be grateful for, can be a path to change of attitude, and then persona. My son commented on something I said I was grateful for, he said that was something he was adding to his new list.
My son like Althouse, is in a good place almost all the time....but he is already doing lots of these things. He also commits to reading a novel a month. Four kids from 13 to 8, but he blocks out time for recreational reading.

I was talking to a lady, and she was two days into a pledge to not complain about anything, at anytime. Two weeks later she said she felt so much better, she had extended the pledge.

Got someone that really rubs you raw? Pray for their well being and good fortune for two weeks. If you are still mad, do two more weeks. The Point is, the person wont change...but you will feel better.


Things like that start to change who you are.

But I need to create my list of 6 things.

traditionalguy म्हणाले...

Love is trips going back to the specially good places. Which is why it’s sad to see so many now destroyed by lawlessness. We still go to Healdsburg and Carmel but never stop in SF anymore. Also we like Stratford by way of Buffalo but no longer bother going via lawless Chicago and Detroit. The south is still good with Williamsburg, Lexington, and Asheville’s Biltmore House. But the old favorite NYC is scratched for good.
Also enjoy trips back into the Holy Spirit’s scriptures which never fail to be rewarding.

charis म्हणाले...

I'd pick the six I'm already doing.

1. Do Wordle, sent result to my sister.
2. Read One Year Bible, say prayers.
3. Log meals in a food diary.
4. Take dog for a walk.
5. Have dinner with my spouse.
6. Write in my diary.

The Cracker Emcee Refulgent म्हणाले...

I appreciate the pleasures of the familiar, but guess what? Doing different shit makes them even sweeter. Which is why returning is 50% of the joy of traveling.

What I do not understand is the couples, many of them childless, who repeatedly go to Disneyland. Weirdly insular.

madAsHell म्हणाले...

We went to Africa for the 1999-2000 new year. They were gouging tourists in the Masa Mara, and Serengeti lodges.

The tour guide was old school. "Let's get the tents out!!" (He wasn't going hand the money back, and let us go home.)

After dinner in the evening, we all sat around the campfire like Ernest Hemingway. The magic of that adventure could not be re-captured.

Old and slow म्हणाले...

I return to the same cities and towns year after year or at least whenever I can. Dublin, Nenagh, Westport. Thinking of adding Porto to the list, though it's a bit late in the day. I just read the paper and live my life while I'm there. Run, walk, shop, cook, read. That's it.

Michael K म्हणाले...

Blogger Free Manure While You Wait! said...
"I reread books, essays, and rewatch shows and movies, all the time. If they're good they're good and I enjoy them just as much as the first time.


I like rereading books, not so m uch movies although I do from time to time. It's not that I forget like rontec but I find some parts that I did not notice the first time. I just beginning to reread "The Sleepwalkers" as I still spend time reading about WWI. I don't think we have ever recovered from it. It began the western elites hating themselves.

Fred Drinkwater म्हणाले...

Fred has recently (well, more recently than Gilabr) re-read Lord of the Rings. But Fred is civilized and will not write any spoilers here.

Except one (Fred is weak and can't resist.)

There is a ring. It's pretty important.

Sorry, Gilbar.

walter म्हणाले...

Well..sex can be like that.

Valentine Smith म्हणाले...

We all got bug DNA. Ask Kafka.
Depression is I’m surrounded by gold with no way to touch it. And I know it. Or is that neurosis? Ask Jung.
There’s a rather thin line twixt redundancy and obsession. Ask Valentine.

I reread the complete works of Arthur Conan Doyle to try to capture the exhilaration of my youth. No dice. Ditto the Tolkien trilogy. Again nothing. For the last year all I have read is sci-fi. Love it. Eschatological and post apocalyptic. wondrous technology. galactic warfare. You know easy reading.

MikeD म्हणाले...

As always, I'm pretty much an outlier here on the Althouse board. The only movies I've watched more than once are mostly 50's scifi sagas (Forbidden Planet, Destination Moon et al) as they were entertaining then and, occasionally, now. Then, movies were viewed as entertainment. 60's movie Midnight Cowboy was powerful, but not entertaining. As far as books go, in the 60's I read a great deal of non-fiction as well as entertainment fiction. The only tome from that era I've read/reread is Loren Eiseley's "The Immense Journey" from 1957. (Eiseley is best known for the poetic essay style, called the "concealed essay".) More recently, I continue to do a semi-annual read of the Pulitzer Prize winning "Old Dogs are the Best Dogs". The vignettes contained therein always, to me, express what it means to be human.

Heartless Aztec म्हणाले...

I reread the Aubrey/Maturin books by by Patrick O'Brian once each decade. I'm on my 4th read through of the canon.

Michael K म्हणाले...

Blogger Fred Drinkwater said...
Fred has recently (well, more recently than Gilabr) re-read Lord of the Rings. But Fred is civilized and will not write any spoilers here.


I read "The LOrd of the Rings" to my kids when they were little. Now they are in their 50s and I am not sure their kids read.

boatbuilder म्हणाले...

In the Aubrey/Maturin series (which I have also read 4 times) Maturin's Catalan acquantances have a parting blessing: "May no new thing arise."

Most of us are still trying to get our own lives right; the world often rudely interrupts. Routine is peaceful and allows us to focus.

Of course Aubrey and Maturin spend a lot of time seeking out the new and chaotic...

Narr म्हणाले...

I'm not much of a re-reader, with a few exceptions. I'm more likely to sprint through BOTR than try the LOTR marathon again.

Given my historical interests and affinities, I find plenty of new books (or old but not-yet-read) to keep me busy.

There are only a few movies or series that I hope to rewatch sooner or later . . .

I re-listen much more than I re-read or re-watch, put together.



Narr म्हणाले...

Re-listen to music, that is.

Jaq म्हणाले...

"I had a discussion with a friend long ago and we decided that the best life is the one lived right on the edge of boredom, "

Was that friend Ann Althouse?