७ ऑगस्ट, २०२३
"At first, I didn’t even totally comprehend that it was my penis that kept flaring up the security system. I thought I might just be outrageously unlucky."
"It wasn’t until one time when I caught a glimpse of the screen that the agents use to determine which part of a passenger’s body looks suspicious. Sure enough, a yellow square was painted right over my dick and balls, as if I was transporting an explosive in my nether regions."
याची सदस्यत्व घ्या:
टिप्पणी पोस्ट करा (Atom)
२८ टिप्पण्या:
Is that the tinny screech of the world's tiniest violin I hear?
You get the metal detectors with TSA Pre...
Let me be the first to assert that this has never happened to me. Lucky me, eh?
Also: the raw power and importance of the word 'never' shines brightly in this comment.
"Suspicious Package Airport security sucks for everyone. But for well-endowed men, it’s a whole different animal"
Oh. Thank God! I thought it was just me.
The art of the humblebrag.
Though, seriously I could have sworn the TSA had a program for people that set off security alerts...
Yes, TSA Cares.
The struggle is real.
Huh. I thought this happened to everyone. I didn't realize it was a big deal.
Is this a letter to Penthouse?
It was James Bond’s most valued weapon. Thank God we have sophisticated technology to see it coming, in and out of of countries the world over.
Is this news? People have long questioned TSA’s screening since its formation (blame George W. Bush), and it was well thought well endowed women were singled out for extra screening. I believe I’ve seen a few comedy skits of both well endowed men and women getting extra attention.
Yet, in the history of aviation, only one person has tried, unsuccessfully, to ignite an underwear bomb, and he wasn’t caught by the extra security. People have been calling for the abolishment of the TSA for longer than metropolitan police forces and the FBI.
Happens to me all the time.
I'm fat. And it isn't my private parts that are noted by the airport scanner. It is my moobs and my fat ass the scanner highlights. Something to do with density changes from muscle to fat, or perhaps scanner disbelief that I've let myself fall so far from my formerly svelte self to such a blob.
Glad I'm a grower and not a shower
Which actual, important stories are neglected in favor of this one?
How could the "important issues raised by this story" been better covered without the cock angle?
Answer: When cock is involved, Slate is all over it. There can be no other considerations when Slate can work cock into the story.
For Slate, cock is all.
Well, that's quite the Humblebrag, isn't it?
Is that a gun or are you just happy to…
I thought that joke had been retired.
Airport security screening is by now a self perpetuating waste of resources. If we have no disasters, it's working. If we have disasters, we should spend more on screening. There is no set of circumstances that could bring this foolish waste of time and money to an end.
Derek Smalls nods in agreement:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAargSCXQaQ
"Do you have any artificial plates or limbs?"
"Not really, no."
You can call him Ray
You can call him Jay
You can call him Ray Jay
But ya doesn’t has to call him Johnson
Is this a letter to Penthouse?
Name and address withheld by request.
Spinal Tap - Derek Smalls Airport Security
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAargSCXQaQ
A cross I'm willing to bear.
Worrying about the disproportional effect on black men in 3, 2, 1...
Nick Carter-Killmaster
Weapons and paraphernalia
...The third member of the triad is Pierre, a poison gas bomb, which is a small egg-shaped device, usually carried in a pocket but sometimes as a "third testicle" at his scrotum. Activated with a simple twist, it would, within seconds, kill anyone or anything that breathed its odorless and colorless gas.
I recall TSA claiming to have fixed the problem of privacy invasion and agents leering at passenger's privates, through some kind of software fix that would blur the relevant areas. Apparently not. And yes, TSA precheck doesn't use those scanners.
Spinal Tap redux.
A complain-brag.
After the underwear bomber, coming back to the US from Toronto, I went through TSA normally, stepped downstairs to go to the gate, and there was secondary security. Men on one side & women on the other. I had to open my computer to show it was operable and the dude literally grabbed my junk. I was like WTF?
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