May 16, 2023

"I had to wear nine different bathing suits. All these people were prodding me and talking about 'the girls.'"

"I have never called my breasts 'the girls' in my life. I hate stuff like that. The whole time, these people were nudging, 'Poke this out, push that in.' I had to put up with that for eight hours. Still, we were shooting in the Dominican Republic and I had a really good time."

66 comments:

Curious George said...

Ugh.

Dave Begley said...

The cover model was trans. Transition started at a young age.

I looked at the pixs of Martha. Great plastic surgery.

Back in the day, the swimsuit issue was published in January or February. SI can’t even get that right now.

Enigma said...

SI can sell copies of the swimsuit issue with an elderly person on the cover? Hmmm? What is the average age of the SI readers? Are they literally blind?

I await a cover aimed at the "minor attracted person" market with an underage jailbait transgendered affirming care model.

This is not the Onion. This is not the Babylon Bee.

Kevin said...

They couldn't get Lia Thomas?

Randomizer said...

Martha Stewart looks great for an elderly woman in a swim suit.

The point of the contemporary Sports Illustrated Swim Suit Edition seems to be to refute the original purpose of the Swim Suit Edition. Does anyone prefer to see someone who looks great in a swim suit while not being a comely young woman?



rhhardin said...

All value comes from being attractive to men. Complaining gets its footing from that. Then you can go meta and complain about being attractive to men.

Birches said...

Who is SI trying to sell magazines to? I always refused the swimsuit edition because I'm a woman and not a fan of soft porn, but I also don't want to see an old lady airbrushed to look fifty. The elites have gone crazy.

JES said...

One of the cover models is trans. I may not be up to speed on all this, but just who will be buying those issues?

tim maguire said...

She looks great for her age, but that's not why people buy the swimsuit issue. I guess SI's not done destroying the brand yet. How did sports become one of the most woke industries in the country?

Dave Begley said...

Martha claims no facial plastic surgery, but she has seen Mario regularly for 40 years.

Martha, “ And, really, I prefer younger men.”

Best ad placement in the world.

Breezy said...

Bizarre use of her brand. Glad she had a good time while being poked and pushed like some of her best dishes.

wendybar said...

They should have had Pelosi. She loves to show off her "girls"

Kevin said...

Is this a good thing?

Jersey Fled said...

This is just sick.

Temujin said...

This would be the other 'shiny new thing' the media is circling around rather than talk about the in-your-face corruption coming out of DC.

Tom T. said...

Does SI still publish a print edition?

As with Dylan Mulvaney, this is an item for the women in the marketing department to put on their resumés. It's not intended to actually sell product.

s'opihjerdt said...

Do people still buy magazines?

John henry said...

Who does she think she is, Helen Mirren?

John Henry

Kate said...

I'm not a fan of "the girls" title, either, but it's the current euphemism. It's objectifying, as if the boobs aren't a body part.

Old and slow said...

Say what you will about Martha Stewart. She is well known for doing things with the highest attention to quality and detail. I'll bet she's a firecracker in bed!

ga6 said...

Glad Martha liked the DR. I am also thrilled that I had a small part in the securing the country for Resorts International and various gambling interests, Spring 1965. Just call me a tool of capitalist oppression. Just remember to stay from the Haitian/DR border, not a pretty sight.

Wince said...

I refer to my man-boobs as "The Dudes."

Dave Begley said...

"When you are famous, you can grab men by the penis. Fortunately, or unfortunately." Martha Stewart.

This summer at the parties in the Hamptons, all the 40 something Street guys will just come up to Martha and say, "Sports Illustrated." She will then decide which one to take home for a one night stand.

That's what this was all about.

Rusty said...

Still. Even at 81. Titties!

Owen said...

Wait...did we just wander into a bad porn script?

Owen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mikee said...

Thanks for the warning, Althouse.

I'd have been suspicious of this post on April 1st, but I am sure you're being honest about it this late in May. And now I understand all the posts popping up in my feeds about 57 year old Pauline Porizkova in a bikini. Self promotion has lost all sense of propriety.

And Martha has led a sheltered life not to known someone using "girls" for her breasts. That is one of the favorites among the gazillion euphemisms and nicknames and endearments for female (and male) anatomical delights.

Owen said...

Surely THE Martha Stewart could have used that cover photo opportunity to feature some charming hostess features, maybe a swimsuit with original needlepoint decoration, or a smashing little sun-hat?

rcocean said...

SI is still a thing? I thought they went out of business.

Maybe that's their target audience now, Old Boomers who want to see Martha Stewart.

Maybe the Gays will buy it now. They hate sports but love older women.

rcocean said...

BTW, all these rich Pols and celebrities and billionaires seem to be incredibly active in their old age. And they seem to be living forever. Is there some 'youth hormone or drug" that average people aren't? Or it that, they can afford to have massive amounts of medical testing that detects problems before they get started?

It is odd, that Carter is still alive. And so is Sandra Day O Connor. And that guys like Biden are bicycling and running around at 82. Is Kerry still windsurfing?

JAORE said...

She looks great - with the modifier - for her age.

But it beats showing a 350 pound woman that we are required to find both beautiful AND healthy.

Joe Smith said...

She was a hottie back in the day.

I'm sure Martha has done worse things than having people poke at her tits for a few hours...

MadisonMan said...

As with Dylan Mulvaney, this is an item for the women in the marketing department to put on their resumés.
I wonder if the woman executive let go because of the hairbrained Mulvaney idea airbrushed the fiasco out of her resume.

Big Mike said...

I guess they’re going for the geezer demographic.

JMS said...

I've seen the cover, I've seen news photos of her. What's the point of putting an 81-year-old in the swimsuit issue if you're going to use a face filter to make her look 20 years younger?

William said...

Centenarians have bodies that can fight off inflammation and infection. It's some kind of genetic variation. She looks like she's got that variation. If so, she can look forward to being the first centenarian cover model on SI. (I don't know if SI can look forward to being a centenarian though.)....She truly does look terrific for her age, but my guess is that this has more to do with the photographer's art than the model's beauty.

TaeJohnDo said...

The girls, AKA: Tits, titties, ta-tas, chi-chis, breasts, mounds, hooters, nips, pillows, Winnebago’s, headlights, bumpers, bazookas, boobs, boobies, sweater puppies, fun bags, mammaries, rack, the twins, tracks of land, gazongas, lungs, chesticles…etc….

TaeJohnDo said...

Oops, I forgot Jugs. Those are all off the top of my head, and I am sure I have used them in academic and casual conversation.

Sydney said...

She does look good for her age, but the spray tan and lighting still couldn’t hide the old lady arm and chest veins everyone gets.

Known Unknown said...

She seems like a cool broad.

mikeski said...

Just remember to stay from the Haitian/DR border, not a pretty sight.

On a vacation to the DR in 2008, we took a day trip and on the ride home, I was talking with our guide and he described Haiti as "our Mexico".

Yancey Ward said...

I like Ms. Stewart, and I think she looks pretty good for 81 years old but, for fuck's sake, no one wants to see her in a bikini or other swimsuit. The only good thing I can write about this is that it isn't as awful as the fear-to-be-coming Lia Thomas cover.

Ann Althouse said...

"She looks great - with the modifier - for her age."

I have no idea how "she" looks. I can only see an on-line image that has some relationship to her current real-life appearance, but seems to have been photoshopped (as, I presume, all the photos, even of young women are).

I mean, do you think her thigh, in real life, emerges from her waist?

Leland said...

Did she get a million dollars to shed her inhibitions?

n.n said...

It's not for the majority of men. It's not for the majority of women. Who is the target market?

n.n said...

Age-affirmation through digital processing. We have seen more unusual and cruel methods of affirmation therapy.

Another old lawyer said...

If SI wanted to go older, it should have gotten Lynda Carter, 72 this year. That would have shot down much of this discussion, and replaced it with remembrances of youth.

planetgeo said...

Jeez, you'd think that she could have found SOMEBODY in NYC to fraudulently sue for a winning multi-million dollar sexual assault case rather than having to get semi-naked for an SI cover. That seems to be a popular sport in NYC right now.

KellyM said...

Funny, "the girls" are common parlance for now; I use it on occasion for amusement. Guess it's better than "fun-bags".

I remember in the late 80s - early 90s we referred to them as "bodacious ta-tas"

The Vault Dweller said...

It seems like a few things that were initially designed to appeal to men, by having pictures of pretty women in various amounts of clothing, have shifted into vehicles to empower women to celebrate their own inherent beauty and cast off the shackles of the male gaze, and by that I mean assuage the various anxieties of women.

Narayanan said...

what kind of dishes [culinary] did a dishy Martha dish out?

walter said...

Stolen from E Jean Carroll!

Sydney said...

Here’s what she looks like without the photoshopping:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.allure.com/story/martha-stewart-sports-illustrated-bob/amp

gilbar said...

https://www.foxnews.com/sports/sports-illustrated-faces-backlash-naming-transgender-female-pop-star-kim-petras-swimsuit-cover-model
Sports Illustrated faces backlash for naming transgender female pop star Kim Petras as swimsuit cover model
Petras made her debut on the cover of the SI Swimsuit Edition

Y'all need to ask yourselves..
WHY are they pushing, SO HARD on having tranies EVERYWHERE?
WHO is doing the pushing, SO HARD on having tranies EVERYWHERE?

Companies are voluntarily Losing MILLIONS AND MILLIONS of dollars to push this..
If you think (for ONE Second), that they are doing it "because it's the 'right thing' to do"..
You're Really Stupid.
They are doing it; because they are being FORCED to do it.
The The Human Rights Campaign has So Much money, that Millions are Nothing

PM said...

And they retouched her three prison tears.

Lilly, a dog said...

When I was young, I had to go to church every week, as my mother was the organist and choir director, and my father was in the choir. We always sat with some other kids whose parents were also in the choir. One summer Sunday, a lovely and and very tanned young lady walked past our pew, and one of the older boys said (loudly), "Look at those Golden Bozos."

I would describe Stewart's as Bazooms.

Michael K said...

Maybe the Gays will buy it now. They hate sports but love older women.

Great line. I don't think the gays are enthusiastic about Bud Light either.

Jim at said...

I remember when the SI swimsuit issue was a big thing ... 40 years ago.

MayBee said...

Isn't there a point where women don't have to be looking great in a bathing suit? Like, somewhere well before the age of Martha Stewart?

I get wanting to look great. I get swim suit models as some sort of ideal at a younger age.
But there's a point where it just becomes cruel to say, "He meemaw. It isn't enough for you to play in the pool with the kids anymore. You gotta look like a photoshopped 40 year old. "

This isn't empowering. It's setting an ever-later, ever more attainable ideal for women to have to aspire to.

Ampersand said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
walter said...

" It's setting an ever-later, ever more attainable ideal for women to have to aspire to."
Cher and Cher alike.
(There are plenty of rebels)

lonejustice said...

I don't mean to brag here, but my wife is 64 years old. She was a ballerina for many years. She is 5.6 feet tall and weighs 130 pounds. She runs every day, lifts weights, and eats healthy. I should do as well. I say good for Martha Stewart. Few women her age would even attempt to do what she has done with her life.

lonejustice said...

My wife is 64 years old. She is 5.6 feet tall, and weights 135 pounds. Every day she runs/walks like our host, lifts weights, and watches her diet. She studied ballet for 20 years. She has a Master's Degree in English Literature, and a Bachelor's Degree in Computer Science. So as a white woman with a college degree she is the reason for all of our problems, according to Drago and others like him on this blog. Grow up and get over it.

Jersey Fled said...

"But it beats showing a 350 pound woman that we are required to find both beautiful AND healthy."

Amen to that.

Bunkypotatohead said...

It's just clickbait.

walter said...

Drago,
Join the conversation wherein lonejustice has invoked you.
Like Kasich's Dad was a postal worker, LJ's wife was a ballerina.
He's not bragging!