"My husband and I had an agreement that when each of our children were born, I would take my maternity leave and then he would take a leave of similar length when I returned to work. We are finding now, after the arrival of our second baby, that neither of us wants to go back. I earn more money, and thus I have to return to work, but I am equally unhappy with the weekly grind...."
From a letter to the WaPo advice columnist.
This shows that the perverse privilege inherent in systematically paying women less. It preserves the traditional structure of man out in the world, woman in the home.
What can you say to this woman except welcome to reality? Well, I'd say that it doesn't have to be the higher earner who goes to work. Who has the more satisfying job? Who has the job that makes a greater contribution to the world? Maybe at some point, you'll hit upon the factors that let the wife have her wish of avoiding the difficulties of work.
Also, consider that you might also not be happy with the childcare "grind." It's all grind when you have a bad attitude, isn't it?
पोस्ट्स
७१ टिप्पण्या:
To paraphrase a line from”Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World”
Our lives do not always become what we thought they would be.
The guy then jumped off the ship holding a rock.
"What can you say to this woman except welcome to reality?"
Exactly. Welcome to reality. Took the words right out of my mouth.
What an odd dilemma we accept. We don't make money for its own sake. We make money to support the familty.
So the decision should be "who would be better to stay at home with the kids" instead of "who makes less money". Priorities are backwards
I've had friends that go so caught up in the grind, they forgot why they were working in the first place.
systematically paying women less.
It's supply and demand.
"This shows that the perverse privilege inherent in systematically paying women less."
Masterful trolling by our host. Guaranteed replies incoming.
This shows that the perverse privilege inherent in systematically paying women less.
Say what? It’s been shown for decades that the gender pay gap is a myth. It won’t die because belief in it is useful to polemicists.
There is a privilege on display here. The privilege of thinking work should be optional, that following your bliss should be the priority, and if your bliss doesn’t help you put food on the table, that’s the fault of our capitalist money-driven society.
Hi-ho, hi-ho. It's off to work you go.
Soldier on, children, and keep your eyes fixed on the shining future you are building together.
"It's all grind when you have a bad attitude, isn't it?"
Yes, that's true, but...
We're staring at the first generation where women outnumber men in graduating, going to college, getting advanced degrees in college, getting hiring preferences over men, and getting promotion selection over men. So a greater number of young and entering middle-aged women are well into a grind system that they've never been such a large part of in previous generations.
I'm not saying women haven't been part of the workforce. I'm saying they are the workforce, more or less, today and going forward for at least the next 10-15 years. Was this the Feminist dream? I don't think so. I think things got lopsided. The rule of unintended consequences. And I keep reading more and more about the unhappiness, the lack of fulfillment, the missing of a life, the missing the opportunity to make a family.
One other factor that hasn't played out yet. Men have always died younger. Women have always lived longer. I'll bet that trend evens out a bit over the next 20 years. Not delighting in saying this. Not at all. But with 'the grind' comes 'the stress'. Good luck with it.
It took me 50 years, but I finally figured out money is just one data point in making a decision.
It is no secret money does not make you happy. It is no secret the stuff money buys, often fails to make you happy, fulfilled, relevant...etc. Do you need the $70k SUV and 5,000 sq ft house? Living in Tulsa, you maybe don't need a 4WD vehicle, You have 2 kids, 5000sq ft? Really? Disney every other year, with the kids, and all inclusive resort in the off years? That's happiness?
Very few people do a budget. But google docs has a spread sheet. Its a great way to sort out the need vs desire thing. Then its figuring out if your feeding your ego, or your soul.
West coast cities will let you live on a sidewalk. You can take that option.
I don't know if it's accurate to say women are "systematically" paid less. I think the most carefully controlled apples-to-apples studies show that men and women are paid the same for the same work, work hours, and experience. I remember hearing about one at Google, for example [Sorry, no reference].
It may be the "system" is due to mutually reinforcing factors: Women may generally (on average and taken as a group) prefer to spend more time with children and family. As a result, they work less and gain less experience. They are therefore paid less. Since they are paid less, it's easier for them to choose to stay home in the situation where a choice can be made.
I suppose that's still "systematic", but I think it reflects individual preference to a great extent.
My ex stayed home for 14 years. I said stay home if you want, or work if you want. It’s your choice. I’ll take care of it if you want to stay home with the kids. Worked my ass off to deliver on that promise. I thought offering that option was a gift I could give. As a man, I had to work either way. I thought it was a loving gesture to work my ass off so she could have the choice. She had a college degree. Stupid me.
After two years at home, she drank herself silly, spent four years in the AA cult, gaslit me the whole time, and completely fucked up my kids. My kids would have been better off in daycare. Trust me...there’s....so....much....more.
If I left, no court would have given a white guy the kids, and they were like 4 and 6 when she went off the rails.
Sorry, but I’m tired of this pretend benevolence assigned to one gender when it comes to kids, families, and careers. And the idea that women are paid less to do “the same” job is complete bullshit. On this, Jordan Peterson is 100% correct.
About the attitude thing. Exactly right. She needs to adjust hers (and maybe he does also) to ever be happy with life.
Live a life with limited housing, clothes and food options. Now let's read what they think.
It's a shame Anonymous's picture isn't in the paper so it can be rhythmically admired.
Nothing in the article indicates that the letter writer is a woman. Not sure we should assume so. Just says “my husband and I”. And their pronouns are not defined. Men can get pregnant I hear.
"Maybe at some point, you'll hit upon the factors that let the wife have her wish of avoiding the difficulties of work."
I am thinking this is the (sarcastic) point of the post.
Am I right, Professor?
"This shows that the perverse privilege inherent in systematically paying women less. It preserves the traditional structure of man out in the world, woman in the home."
Oh god, really? It's a fallacy.
"Also, consider that you might also not be happy with the childcare "grind." It's all grind when you have a bad attitude, isn't it? "
Exactly!
One of the questions should definitely be...who is better at being the stay at home partner? Who is better with the kids, and the house chores, and the mindset all of that takes? It's a job with a skill set, just like every job!
Speaking from experience (depending on the place you live and your financial health going in) paring down income to one is possible BUT you have to make a lot of cuts to make it work. Figure out what is on you need to have vs nice to have list. You’ll find that you’re carrying a lot of nice to have expenses. You may not take destination vacations or have new clothes each season for example but if you value a slower living w it’s totally worth it.
Men don't make good Mommies.
Ill take starve for 100 Alex.
"I earn more money, and thus I have to return to work, but I am equally unhappy with the weekly grind...."
This shows that the perverse privilege inherent in systematically paying women less
Are you saying employers pay women less systematically? Or are you saying that employers should pay employers less as it reinforces a traditional marriage dynamic?
Because the evidence in this case says that there isn't a system of paying women less since in fact she makes more than her husband.
shorter: "I want to pop out babies an not work to support them."
"This shows that the perverse privilege inherent in systematically paying women less."
It shows why women are so fixated on finding a man who makes more.
"This shows that the perverse privilege inherent in systematically paying women less."
I didn't say that currently women are systematically paid less. I said that when this is the system, women receive a privilege, in that it's clear that the husband should be the money-earner in the single-earner family.
Over the years, things have evened out, and many women do make more than their husbands, and yet women may still have the hold-over perception that they are the ones who get to choose to work outside of the home or be the stay-at-home spouse. The idea of the husband getting to choose not to work (as opposed to the wife choosing to have him be the stay-at-home partner) is really new. Hence this post.
My divorced brother found a sugar mamma. He’s got a good career. But she’s a master degreed child therapist in Ozaukee County. Has like 15 other females therapists working for her. The referral$ from the school$ for kids that need therapy roll in like student loan debt for tuition. 2022 cash cow. They can’t keep up.
Best part of the business model is they don’t really cure any of these kids. But female teachers and administrators refer kids to her all female master degreed counseling firm....and everyone is happy. Except the kids of course. I gotta give her credit. She’s “working” like 20 hrs a week. BMW SUV. Play Porche. Nice country estate. REAL Gucci bags. And she’s pretty cool. I like her.
My brother has been living with me the last year and a half to get through the divorce grind and the surprise credit card bills his ex left him, the alimony on top of child support...her car that he has to pay off....you know...typical white guy shit.
I told him marry this therapist. In 2022 there is zero shame in being a kept man. It’s your time. Rise to the occasion. Fulfill your destiny. We’ll all live vicariously through you. Envy you while you fish on a Tuesday morning. Or get to the gun club early after lunch on Wednesdays.
And just maybe....he can move out of my house.
My spouse tells me all the time that I would be far more successful than him working. He's also told others that we place our greatest asset where there is the greatest need: our children. I definitely do the stay at home stuff better than he would, so it's irrelevant how much better I would do working.
Life’s a bitch and then you die*. Same as it ever was. Sure, life would be nicer if you can survive without having to work. Who is going to pay for that?
*I once saw a bumper sticker that read, “Life’s a bitch, and then you marry one.” I don’t want to know the story behind that one, but I can guess.
The idea of the husband getting to choose not to work (as opposed to the wife choosing to have him be the stay-at-home partner) is really new. Hence this post.
Thanks for the clarification.
Maybe the husband was making noises about going back to work and the wife is pulling the old Tom Sawyer whitewashing the fence trick.
This shows that the perverse privilege inherent in systematically paying women less.
Oh, bullshit, Ann.
You must be one of the last people on earth still believing this silliness.
Women make about the same as men when you compare equal jobs with equal continuous experience and so on.
Men tend to choose more pay and less benefits. Less comprehensive medical plan, no child care and so on. If looking strictly at monetary compensation women earn less. If looking at overall compensation, the differences are greatly reduced.
Women work different kinds of jobs and they tend to work at jobs that are safer (men get killed in workplace injuries at about 10 to 1 vs women) that give more time off and are more compatible with child rearing.
The shorter the period looked at, the closer they become. Look at a man and woman doing the same job in the same company. On an hourly basis, they make the same. But the guy is more likely to work overtime than the gal. If they work an extra hour a day at time and a half, they get paid for 47.5 hours. vs 40 for the gal. Waaaaahhhh... the woman is only making 84% of the man. It gets worse if you look at annual earnings and even worse if you look at lifetime.
In short, when you compare apples to apples, women make about the same as men. Women have different work patterns in the jobs they choose and the hours they work at them. This explains virtually all the supposed differences.
It's been this way since at least the 70s when I was studying HR and compensation management. It remains so today.
I thought everyone knew this. I am apparently wrong.
John stop fascism vote republican Henry
This shows that the perverse privilege inherent in systematically paying women less.
Oh, bullshit, Ann.
You must be one of the last people on earth still believing this silliness.
Women make about the same as men when you compare equal jobs with equal continuous experience and so on.
Men tend to choose more pay and less benefits. Less comprehensive medical plan, no child care and so on. If looking strictly at monetary compensation women earn less. If looking at overall compensation, the differences are greatly reduced.
Women work different kinds of jobs and they tend to work at jobs that are safer (men get killed in workplace injuries at about 10 to 1 vs women) that give more time off and are more compatible with child rearing.
The shorter the period looked at, the closer they become. Look at a man and woman doing the same job in the same company. On an hourly basis, they make the same. But the guy is more likely to work overtime than the gal. If they work an extra hour a day at time and a half, they get paid for 47.5 hours. vs 40 for the gal. Waaaaahhhh... the woman is only making 84% of the man. It gets worse if you look at annual earnings and even worse if you look at lifetime.
In short, when you compare apples to apples, women make about the same as men. Women have different work patterns in the jobs they choose and the hours they work at them. This explains virtually all the supposed differences.
It's been this way since at least the 70s when I was studying HR and compensation management. It remains so today.
I thought everyone knew this. I am apparently wrong.
John stop fascism vote republican Henry
My other brother (46) just got married last weekend at The Geneva National to a great girl (41). Good looking. Cool. Both are completely a-political. They live in a high-rise downtown Chicago. They got me a Trump robe and slippers for my birthday when they went to the Trump tower for a couples massage. Her idea. Great gift. Hilarious.
She makes like $250K a year working for Bank of America in the “app” department. There was a pre-nup of course; insisted upon by the banker dad. Whenever I ask her what she actually “does” working in the “app” department, she can’t really describe the “do”. Good for her!!! Does anybody really know what the fuck bankers do?
Anyway, neither of them can have kids. They travel all over. I’m not jealous. He’s my brother and was bullied his whole childhood at school. Wish his bullies could see him now. He’s a great guy and I love him.
So I have two younger brothers who have recently found sugar mamas. And neither of the sugar mamma’s actually produce a fucking thing!!! If that’s not the American dream, I don’t know what is.
They have my respect and admiration. Go for it. I think they both deserve a round of applause from the Althouse peanut gallery.
Why are people not happy? Why can’t they find happiness in what they do?
There’s a 99.57 percent chance that there are being told by social/media to not be happy, and are accepting that.
“The idea of the husband getting to choose not to work (as opposed to the wife choosing to have him be the stay-at-home partner) is really new.”
Twenty or thirty years ago.
I don't know where the, work from home, variable fits into the equation. Lots of jobs don't have the option. Pressing the flesh is the job. My DIL has went from full time stay at home mom for the last 12 years,(4 kids,12 to7) to getting back to an 8 hour a day job (can't say nine to five anymore). We went to see the grandkids play their games(cross country, and soccer) last weekend. The DIL says she may have to find a new work from home job. Her current job is threatening to force them into the office in Chicago, 2 to 3 times a month. Not pay for commute time, mileage or parking.
Same grind, different grinder. Come on people, they call it work for a reason. I've discovered a little self pep talk about what I'm doing and why, usually gets my head out of my ass, and I feel productive and worthwhile. That makes tasks just fly by.
What make you think that women get paid less (for the same job with the same credentials with the same seniority and experience and taking no more time off than men)?
MarcusB THEOLDMAN
You don't really believe the "women get paid 77 cents to a man's dollar" BS, do you?
"What do you do when neither spouse is happy with the working and income-generating grind?"
That's when you slap the husband upside the head and tell him, "Be a fucking man. Go to work."
Was this the Feminist dream?
What exactly was the feminist dream?
People dream of a better life, and tell themselves that their dreams were always of a better life, when really they were dreaming of a different life. Life is better for women now in the sense that they aren't dependent on men, their options aren't as restricted, and they aren't made to feel less than men, but swapping home life for the rat race wasn't necessarily an improvement. The grass is always greener ...
I'm trying to find out who said that maybe the most humans can do is "loosen what's tight and tighten what's loose," but all the search engines give me is articles about muscles and vaginas. Maybe the feminist dream, like so many Sixties/Seventies dreams was of a mix of meaningful work and meaningful leisure, but was that really likely to happen for most people?
Personal experience: my second wife and I had a deal. We were both in similar jobs, earning similar money when we married. We decided that if we had a child, she would leave work for the first seven years of our child's life, then we would switch. It happened. I enjoyed taking my little one to school, keeping house (I was a chef and I already had been doing all the shopping and cooking) and being a "house husband". It wasn't long before my wife decided that I didn't clean the house up to her standards (funny, I had NEVER complained to her that she was behind on housework or wasn't tidy enough) and bitched about work at the office. She got resentful at our situation. She decided she wanted a divorce, the female judge gave her the house (that my early-withdrawn retirement nearly paid off), and she took a blue collar job with steady hours. She wound up doing it all by herself (with my child support and somewhat limited shared custody). I doubt the house got to any higher level of cleanliness. I have forgiven her but it is hard to pick up my adult daughter for dinner now and then from a 4/2 house on a nice lot that we paid $120,000 for - which is now worth $500,000 in these crazy times.
MarcusB THEOLDMAN
If women want the house deep-cleaned on a daily basis, they should hire a maid or chip in. My home was cleaned to my standards, which were pretty high IMO, and I dedicated more time to being with my daughter -- that's more important as far as I am concerned. The house was clean -- it was just resentment at her having to hold up her part of the deal and going back to work after seven years off.
Gusty I know a therapist just like that, an NP and boy what a racket she's got going! And she can prescribe meds too! Owns a crap ton of property.
Some friends went to her for marriage counseling and she ended up taking the man for herself.
Who says there's no opportunity for women with a little hustle eh?
To paraphrase:
"Nobody on their death bed wished they had had a cleaner house during their lifetime".
MarcusB THEOLDMAN
"Say what? It’s been shown for decades that the gender pay gap is a myth. It won’t die because belief in it is useful to polemicists."
Is it? Maybe the pay is similar or identical for men and women who hold similar or identical jobs, but is there parity of men and women employed in each job or career category? I'd bet there are still more men than women in the higher- and highest-paid job categories.
" I earn more money, and thus I have to return to work, but I am equally unhappy with the weekly grind..." Equality Alert noted. As has long been concluded, women are systematically 'paid less' because they systematically reproduce and their time during/after childbirth is biologically governed as are many of their free-will choices. I know plenty of wage earner role-reversal families and modern culture seems to be flexible enough to accept this without becoming stressed. It sounds like there's a little bit of lifestyle sticker-shock at work, there.
This shows that the perverse privilege inherent in systematically paying women less
So lazy statistics and feminist propaganda hurts women too?
Odd that both of them want the hardest job n the world. Of course if the dad stays home with the kids he’s a lazy SOB sponging off his hard working wife.
I worked with several men who supported families remotely. Not broken families, just them at sea making money. One engineer I sailed with saw his family for a couple weeks each winter. They lived in Arizona and he sailed out of Hawaii, with 8+ months actual at sea and the rest broken up by port time repairing and outfitting in port. Of course, he'd worked a tug that had 90 day crossing the Pacific with a tow. So slow, a container ship on their 3rd passing with the tug had called up to see if they needed help. "No, just slow" Two to three knots US to Australia.
Men who did what was necessary to provide. And trust me, 4 on, 8 off gets to be a grind after 20-40 days straight. A least in home port you worked 8 straight and had evenings off.
This shows that the perverse privilege inherent in systematically paying women less.
Yup, the female receptionist at the front desk makes les than the male CEO, so proof positive that women get paid less. Um hum.
"And neither of the sugar mamma’s actually produce a fucking thing!!! If that’s not the American dream, I don’t know what is.
"They have my respect and admiration. Go for it. I think they both deserve a round of applause from the Althouse peanut gallery."
If I have to support these useless layabouts with higher fees and prices, I can think of something better to do with my hands.
Think of it along the same lines of supporting the rich people who get the government to support hurricane insurance that lets them build properties on the shore, and the higher prices we're paying for food thanks to Biden-fueled inflation.
Having taken the "one works for money, one mothers" path and am still happily married, I'm reminded of Adam's curse in Genesis. We all work. We all suffer. We all die. And that drives us crazy.
This shows that the perverse privilege inherent in systematically paying women less.
Do you really believe this? There are hundreds of examples disproving this.
My wish the other day for Althouse to dial up the rhetorical technique neglected the corresponding need for improved reading comprehension.
Also, men still die on the job at something between 10x and 30x the rate for women (depending on how you mince the stats.)
I've been the sole earner, the sole earner putting a wife through grad school, a joint earner (both more and less than spouse), a partner of a SAHM mother, a SAHM father (with and without paid work), and a retiree. They all had their charms, but on balance I preferred being a househusband with flexible contractor work hours.
I see Althouse has identified the key concept that articles like this strain to avoid: that the old system fit the culture and offered advantages that are no longer there. Men were systematically paid more because the workforce was overwhelmingly male. But the system adapted to the culture shift (which was enabled by huge technological advances that domestic chores easier and faster and giving women a lot more free time) by eventually holding men’s pay steady or increasing it slowly as women caught up. The 70% wage gap myth was out of date. We became equal mostly through gains by women and neither can make enough to support a household generally, at least not in the comfort our parents generally enjoyed.
"What can you say to this woman except welcome to reality?"
You could tell her "You've come a long ways, Baby!" That would really buck her up!
"This shows that the perverse privilege inherent in systematically paying women less."
This shows the perverse privilege of feminists systematically saying anything that coddles the sisterhood regardless of evidence.
Anyway: not if you control for skills, experience, and time worked.
And of course, all those women who are systematically paid less can set up their own businesses to make money and pay themselves more.
Or might lots of women, now being free to choose, want to have the less-pay excuse to justify taking the role they prefer while still being able to complain about the patriarchy?
Robert Cook said...
"Say what? It’s been shown for decades that the gender pay gap is a myth. It won’t die because belief in it is useful to polemicists."
Is it? Maybe the pay is similar or identical for men and women who hold similar or identical jobs, but is there parity of men and women employed in each job or career category? I'd bet there are still more men than women in the higher- and highest-paid job categories.
It’s not enough that we give the same pay for the same work, we need to give the same pay for different work? That’s your fall-back position? Really?
'There was a pre-nup of course; insisted upon by the banker dad.'
$250k is nice, but hardly prenup territory.
Besides, are there any states left where money gained in the marriage aren't community property?
I could see if she has an inheritance in the future, or if she already has a few million in the bank.
But just based on her salary? Not necessary...
I retired quite early.
My wife loves her job and makes way more than me.
Win-win : )
Just be thankful for what you've got. William DeVaughn
Cook knows about as much Economics as Biden does. When I was applying to medical school, admissions committees tended to discourage accepting women. Their rationale was that women would not practice as much or for as long as men. There was a perceived doctor shortage and they felt obliged to assume that women doctors would get married and have children, thereby retiring from active practice.
This, of course, was considered an example of bias against women and needed to be corrected. Now 60% of medical students are women. Problem solved.
Many new medical graduates are working in an entirely new system that resembles "gig work." In this new system, very few doctors are in small independent offices. Most are employees or free lance among several jobs. There are now companies that arrange these jobs in Urgent Care centers or ERs. These agencies note that female physicians work an average of 28 hours per week. Male physicians work considerably more hours per week.
Maybe those admissions committees knew something about human nature.
'You could tell her "You've come a long ways, Baby!" That would really buck her up!'
Then throw a pack of Virginia Slims at her.
They'll keep her awake when she's grinding it out at work : )
"Just be thankful for what you've got. William DeVaughn"
Diamond in the back, sunroof top
Diggin' the scene with a gangsta lean
"Nobody on their death bed wished they had had a cleaner house during their lifetime".
I was in the hospital last year with a life-threatening condition. As I was lying there, not only was I scurrying to take care of some potential estate issues because I could have died, I was also SERIOUSLY of the mind that I could not die yet precisely because my house is a mess and it would kill me with embarrassment a second time to have my family see it in that condition.
On my potential death bed, my wish WAS that I had a cleaner house.
Husband not wanting to work is less about having choices from sex equality. It is from the emasculation of men and because he is very likely a millennial or Gen Z, leading him to be a bum.
but is there parity of men and women employed in each job or career category?
Do you mean like elementary teachers and HR depts? Head of Nursing. OBGYN's? Gender Equity in employment is stupid.
18 years ago more than 50% of our son's engineering class were women. At graduation less then 10% were women. It would be easy to say women just aren't smart enough. The reality, women just don't thing like engineers. Women don't enjoy the process. They gravitate to other professions. Not sure about Hedge fund managers, my limited experience is money/markets experts are men. Men thrive on the adrenaline, and women hate the uncertainty.
Besides, are there any states left where money gained in the marriage aren't community property?
Sadly, yes.
I have a relative negotiating a divorce settlement. Non-community property state. Her attorney is on round 3 of give and take. After 32 years together she was willing to settle for 38% of assets. Her attorney said that may be a bridge too far with the local judges.
By the way... will women achieve workplace equality only when they get killed on the job at a rate similar to men> Or crippled. Can we settle on crippled.
In a better world, Gusty Winds would have a book out and everybody would know about it and somebody would be thinking about giving him a TV show.
Woo-hooooo, joe smith!
I remember the days when people were happy to simply have a job.
That quote about "loosen what's tight, tighten what's loose" (continued "and scratch where it itches") was attributed to Tallulah Bankhead when I heard it ca. 1970.
"It’s not enough that we give the same pay for the same work, we need to give the same pay for different work? That’s your fall-back position? Really?"
No. If you really interpreted my comment that way, I can only shake my head at your obtuseness. Jeezus!
Anatomically modern humans have been around for about 300,000 years, or maybe 12,000 generations. For 11,998 of those generations human females have had no choice at all – their work needed to be in and around the home for obvious biological reasons. And likewise for male humans – if they wanted their children to survive they had to do all the kinds of work that their womenfolk couldn’t do. Including “couldn’t” for logistical domestic reasons, not just “couldn’t” for reasons of strength or competence.
So this “choice” business is a VERY recent cultural invention, largely derived from wealth and technology, so it’s hardly surprising if evolved human instincts are poorly attuned to it.
As Jordan Peterson has been mentioned, I’ll mention him again since his role in life seems to be say things that are (a) obviously true to the point of banality but (b) hotly denied.
Most people – male or female – do not have a “career” in the sense of a well paid activity that provides deep intellectual fulfillment and personal satisfaction. Most people have “jobs”. And as JP points out, in his usual obvious way, a “job” is something you get paid to do, because you would not do it if you weren’t getting paid.
So not only is this choice thing a 2 out of 12,000 generations thing, it’s something that even in those last 2 generations applies to well under 10% of the working population.
The angst of that tiny privileged minority that does get some kind of “choice” is no doubt real, and it is on my list of things to worry about. But only in about 8,647th position.
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