"... subject to everyone else’s opinion except mine. I simply happen to be the person living in it. In an attempt to block out the never-ending judgment, I told myself that I was 'body-neutral' – I felt nothing about my body – and that was that. Except, feeling 'nothing' about my body led to me not caring for it in any way. As a result, I became prediabetic and developed hypertension and gout (Henry VIII would be proud). I felt that if my body was inherently 'bad,' it didn’t deserve to be cared for and that I didn’t deserve better because I was 'bad,' too. Oh, the wonderful mindfuck of fat-shaming."
From "At 34, I’m fitter than I have ever been – no thanks to the fat shamers" by Evelyn Mok (The Guardian).
पोस्ट्स
५७ टिप्पण्या:
What are "weak ankles"? Is that a new excuse to get out of PE class? Are there Nautilus machines to strengthen ankles now?
Dating is a primal, animalistic, and "survival of the fittest" aspect of life. In a pure form. There is no way around it, and there has never been a way around it. Men want the "best" woman they can find, and women want the "best" man they can find. Every person estimated the potential of mates by appearance in a few seconds. Age. Health. Clothes. Grooming. Symmetry. Weight (too thin or too fat). Wealth. Everyone does this to others and everyone experiences this.
Obesity visibly signals medical issues and (sometimes) lifestyle issues. These are facts. Many people don't want less-than-ideal mates. Your body is public property to the extent that a government can force you to take a vaccine, wear a mask, etc. Your body is public property should you commit a crime and be committed to prison, or be confined for mental illness. Facts. Your body *may* be public property in some places for living unhealthy lifestyles and adding to group medical costs.
In the old days less attractive women competed for men through personality, as the often criticized Elenor Roosevelt and Michelle Obama were "not attractive" to many but married to presidents. Some are born with advantages and some are born with challenges. Some find a way to overcome.
Everybody's their fittest at 34.
"I'm fat and it's everyone else's fault."
I don't believe the gout, hypertension, pre-diabetes at age 34......and then recovering her fitness.
I think the whole story is bullshit.
I'm certain she knows her own navel inside out. . . . .
"my body has always felt like public property . . . subject to everyone else’s opinion except mine"
It has "felt" like that, has it? Maybe it's different for women, whatever they are, but I call BS.
"my body has started to change. I’m fitter than ever and I’ve managed to reverse all my health issues"
Surprise! So the "fat-shamers" are right that 1. fat is pretty bad, and 2. less fat can reverse health issues. Oh, and 3. for most people it doesn't take that much to "manage" it.
I love how the only picture in the entire story is of a fit Asian woman exercising who isn't the author.
"Fat shaming" is what used to be called "medical advice."
Evolutionary biology does not care about your feelings. In caveman days your heavy body and weak ankles would have made you food for the lion. Today you get to agonize over why people don't find you attractive and why girls are so mean (They are trying to entice the alpha males.) The truth is, almost everyone deals with inadequacy in the biology sweepstakes. I'm not tall enough. Some guys legs are too short or too long, not broad shouldered enough, not alpha enough, not rich enough. Some girls are too tall, too short, too fat wrong shape. Mostly it sucks because you either have looks are you are settling for the beta males. Don't blame, people. Blame the system that Darwin wrote about. And if fat shaming made you get healthy so that you live a higher quality of life, attract better men, live longer, and get fewer mean tweets, thank those fat shamers, they did you a favor.
At some point the editorial pages of newspapers are going to have to announce a moratorium on women writing about themselves.
Are all women mentally ill, or just the ones who are "journalists" and celebrities? How in the heck has this species survived for hundreds of thousands of years, I cannot guess
Why are we discussing this? Is it not just one more self-reporting case study of Toxic Narcissism or, as we used to call it, “Poor Me”?
If this instance sheds new light on the pathology, OK. Otherwise, meh.
Speaking of a body as public property. I stopped at a popular Omaha breakfast spot on Sunday. It was very apparent that a woman in the parking lot had some type of nipple piercing. It was obvious both through her bra and shirt. At least she didn't have any tats. Not that I noticed as I was distracted.
Her core is probably strong from sucking her gut in 16 hours a day. That's how I got mine.
When Tank was 19 or 20, he was 50 pounds overweight. He knew he was too fat. One day he was walking with his Dad and guy from town called him a "lard ass" in front of a lot of people. It was embarrassing. Tank was a lard ass.
Tank used that as motivation to finally start working out and eating less. Soon Tank was not a lard ass. As a former lard ass, Tank had more self confidence and more interest from the ladies. Tank was way happier as a former lard ass. Also healthier.
Maybe a little shaming can be a good thing?
It worked to get a lot of people to stop smoking.
Oh my gosh, that isn't her picture in the story AND she's a comedian. Here's the real her:
https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/edinburgh-comedy-review-evelyn-mok-hymen-manoeuvre-pleasance-courtyard-2t9vfgtl3?region=global
'Nobody wants to fuck fat chicks.'
There's this thing called 'the internet.'
Women and their weight. The never ending story.
"Everybody's their fittest at 34."
The same here. Now that I am more than twice that age, my doctor says I'm doing pretty good for an old, fat guy. I think it's French wine that's holding me back.
A weak ankle is but a step on the Road To Becankled.
If you’re fat, do what you need to do to lose weight. Lose enough and at some point you’ll feel like you’ve been given a new lease on life.
I've been fat and I've been skinny, and not fat is better.
"Her core is probably strong from sucking her gut in 16 hours a day. That's how I got mine."
Don't do that! It's unhealthy!
WaPo article from last November: "Stop sucking in your stomach all the time — it could be bad for your health."
"Beyond potentially affecting the pelvic floor muscles, which are involved in posture, urination, bowel movements and sex, sucking in your gut all the time “could alter the mechanics of your abdomen; it could alter its ability to respond to demands in the environment,” Wiebe said. “It could change your breath patterns.”....It’s also possible, she said, to consistently overwork your transverse abdominis muscle, which creates a “co-contraction” in the pelvic floor muscles and could result in a loss of flexibility in those muscles over time... [T]he effects of sucking in your stomach can extend beyond the pelvic floor. You might notice that it’s harder to take deeper breaths, or you could develop soreness and stiffness in your lower back and hips. Contracted muscles are also less responsive, she said, meaning you could be affecting your body’s ability to absorb impact from activities such as running. People who run with their abdominal muscles over-tensed may, for instance, have an increased vulnerability to running-related injuries...."
You are mistaken, browndog. There are millions of chubby chasers out there.
They be fixated on the folds…
Yes, indeed, mikee! I’m 6’2” and had been stuck at 265 lbs. s
Since early 2020, I’m down to 217 at this point (haven’t seen that for over three decades) and I feel so much better, mentally and physically.
I recommend it.
She's lucky she grew up in the West. Fat-shaming in East Asia is far more oppressive and starts at a much lower BMI than in most (all?) Western countries.
Also, all the scare quotes in the world won't change the reality that bringing her BMI and her blood pressure down is good for reducing her risk of a whole host of chronic diseases. Good for her.
It's strange that so many people today are so overly concerned about other people's opinions about them.
Also, I know that it's just my personal experience but I don't really see people making a lot of comments about other people's weight these days. People are more sensitive about things like that then they were decades ago.
If anything, I see people being more concerned about other people's lifestyles. People do like to offer unsolicited advice that they feel might be helpful to someone else.
A few years ago, a friend of mine who had moved to Switzerland a few decades ago came to the park. Dickie and I went to meet her and her family out at the main gate. As we walked up to her she exclaimed, "Dickie, you got fat!" She wasn't intending to shame him; it was just a blunt observation.
Who are these people?
I've always been short and sturdy with little aptitude for team sports. I've never considered my health in terms of societal expectations, but only in a personal sense like dating opportunities or fitness for activities. I've always aspired to eat better and exercise more, but do better or worse, like everyone else. I wouldn't think of my struggle as something heroic or worthy of a column in the Guardian.
When I read something like Ms. Mok's opinion piece, I feel like society has screwed up the last couple of decades. Let's bring back bullying, fat-shaming, that "Sticks and stones" saying, hot women on magazine covers and ditzy blondes.
Oh, grow up. Nobody but you are responsible for what you put in your mouth.
'Fat-shaming in East Asia is far more oppressive and starts at a much lower BMI than in most (all?) Western countries.'
I've never seen so many actual size 0 women as in Japan.
I tried to buy a suit off the rack in Tokyo (at 5'11" and 190 pounds) and I couldn't find anything that fit : )
Good for you Iman. Overcoming the obesity lizard brain mind fuck isn't easy. Was it shame that motivated you or was it fear of suffering the accelerated obesity aging process?
Easy answers to today’s problems:
1. Lose weight. Do it the easy way by eating less.
2. Snap out of depression. Just Do It!
3. Don’t get tats. If you already have them, cover them up.
4. Don’t learn to love yourself. Waste of time … your self-love is already off the charts.
5. Don’t learn to accept yourself. Feeling bad about yourself is your life coach screaming at you to get off the couch.
6. Stop pretending to be an atheist. Nobody really is.
7. Cure your belief in evolution by reading. Wikipedia entry on any biological process.
8. Quit playing video games. Do Wordle instead. Only takes a couple minutes.
9. Don’t watch so many movies. They’re all the same story anyway.
10. Accept imperfection. Use yourself as an example.
You’re welcome.
Weak ankles are caused by overly supportive shoes, high heel position and thick soles. Xero Shoes are the solution.
You know your fat when you "suck in your stomach" and it still looks the same.
Sounds like she's found out that exercising regularly requires self-discipline, but is highly rewarding. I'm glad she feels better. I guess she felt needed to make it about "fat-shaming" to get it published. It does seem like she has an unhealthy concern with other people's opinions. But at least she didn't trash her Mom.
Our fat, ourselves.
Come to America.
"No Fat Chicks" is unconstitutional over here.
The "fat is beautiful", "healthy at any weight", are affirmative affirmations and excusatory judgments and labels that are first-order incentives for pathological and pathogenic progression, and shared/shifted responsibility of unaffordable medical care and progressive prices (e.g. "inflation").
I married above my weight.
I'm fat and have been for most of my life, but have never experienced "fat shaming." Seriously, I don't know what that is. I have experienced people, including my doctor, who have expressed concern for my well-being. But it's never been a "shaming."
What I have experienced is a multitude of people who support me as I workout on a continuous basis. I've gotten to the point where I have run two half-marathons and several other lesser runs and I've also done some long-distance swimming competitions (the longest being a 3.5 mile swim). As I train for these, I've had a great deal of encouragement. I've lost some weight and hope to lose more, but the main thing is that I've gotten so much stronger and healthier. I am very grateful for all the support I've had. And, as I've said, I've never experienced shame.
I also found the Guardian's choice of image for this article very strange. They commissioned an editorial against body-shaming -- written by someone who's a successful comedian in Europe -- then illustrated it with a generic stock photo titled "Asian woman lifting weights in a gym." Did they think the actual person isn't fit enough for them to show what she looks like? If so, they're making the opposite of her point.
This is mental illness. Not the result of “fat shaming”.
Oh, @Howard! I just discovered Xero shoes and I love them! That's funny. And true. My ankle tendonitis is much better now.
She's ethnic Chinese. That could possibly be her in the photo, though she's much heftier in most of her pictures.
The caption says “ (posed by model)”
"The caption says '(posed by model)' "
It's a stock photo from Getty images -- one of a series of six that, based on the credits, were taken by a prolific photographer in China.
Hi Kate: Xero needs to offer you ladies more colors. My workout buddy who likes flamboyant colors is frustrated they only have one scheme she is wild about.
The Guardian, NYT, WaPo and much of the leftmedia cater to the mental gymnastics of neurotic women - journalists and readers.
“It's a stock photo from Getty images -- one of a series of six that, based on the credits, were taken by a prolific photographer in China.”
With six you get egg roll
Isn’t “fat shaming” a cousin to “mask shaming”?
Keep asking questions.
Everyone's opinion matters. Some are easier to qualify than others. It is up to you to discern their value, judge their source, and react accordingly.
That excerpt about sucking in your gut was hilarious. Here are the caveats: "...potentially affecting ..could alter ...could alter...could change...It’s also possible...could result...You might notice...or you could develop...you could be affecting...may, for instance," That's all in one paragraph without a single positive statement. I think that may affect my ability to take it seriously.
Oh, the wonderful mindfuck of self-victimizatiom.
"In an attempt to block out the never-ending judgment..."
In my youth we used to say, "Get over yourself".
Pay heed lady.
I saw a video on YouTube where a woman said, "If you're exercising and losing weight solely to look better, that's fatphobic."
Putting aside the one question people who make statements like that can't answer (which is: why?), I decided that my response was, no I don't hate or fear fat people, I just don't want to be one, and to the extent I am one, I want to change, because I want to live longer with less pain. And I want to look better.
I don't see why that's a problem. Is it the American tendency for evangelism, i.e., I feel okay about my weight (which, you know, might be a lie), so everybody else should be okay about being overweight, too. Or else.
I bet that's part of it. Sort of scaring people into not attacking you over being fat. But the accusation has to create indignation, doesn't it? People might be silent, but I guarantee you they're walking away muttering, "fat pig..."
Consider that in today's world self-exposure to a degree that once would have been considered narcissistic or pathological has become normal and accepted, even encouraged and demanded.
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