७ ऑगस्ट, २०२१

"Angel argues that, unlike the drives of hunger or thirst, desire does not operate on a deprivation model for either gender."

"She does, however, support the idea that male desire is 'spontaneous' and female desire 'responsive' to explain why women are perceived as suffering from a lack of overt sexual interest. The intention to have sex doesn’t 'just happen' for women as often as it does for men; it may, however, be elicited. She quotes contemporary work by Rosemary Basson, the director of the Sexual Medicine Program at the University of British Columbia, that describes a kind of loop in which the sexual setting, 'the relationship, the power dynamics, the safety and trust…are all critical in enabling or impeding the virtuous circle of arousal and desire.' So men can persuade women into bed by supplying context first ('love,' perhaps) and then by arousing them. This also feels a little transactional. No matter where we start from, we are always back in the same place.... It is not clear to me, in the discussion of the 'circularity' of female desire, what 'linear' male desire might look like (apart from the obvious)." 

From "The Burden of ‘Yes’/Katherine Angel is part of a new generation of female writers who are revisiting ideas of female submission" by Anne Enright (NYRB).

३ टिप्पण्या:

Bob Boyd म्हणाले...

"the sexual setting, 'the relationship, the power dynamics, the safety and trust…are all critical in enabling or impeding the virtuous circle of arousal and desire.' So men can persuade women into bed by supplying context first ('love,' perhaps) and then by arousing them. This also feels a little transactional. No matter where we start from, we are always back in the same place.... "

Remember the pick-up artists? Isn't this essentially what they had observed and were teaching?

Can you imagine trying to teach this to young men in schools? But why not, if it would make both men and women happier and more successful in their relationships?

Are the incels just young men who have been given the wrong operator's manual?

Temujin म्हणाले...

We males are purposely and by design, very simple. Don't complicate it trying to figure out our 'linear' male desire might look like. It is as obvious as it's suspected to be. That's what makes us so special.

mikee म्हणाले...

Before you get the rope to lynch me, I've been married quite joyfully to the same strong, smart, independent, wonderful woman for over 35 years and, beyond that, I am immune to internet spite. Plus, my interpersonal and sexual relationships all fall quite fully within social norms of polite middle class Americana. That said:

Direct Clitoral Stimulation, a la Hite, is dandy, but domination is quicker. Just ask Bill Clinton, whose go-to method for sexual gratification as a mere governor of Arkansas was to drop trou and suggest to complete strangers, "Kiss it." His dominating brutishness worked so well for him, so often, for so long, that he was surprised and truly amazed to be sued for sexual harrassment over this behavior by Paula Jones.

Here's suggesting Ms. Angel go to a used bookstore, find some old sci-fi "Gor" novels of John Norman, and ponder/research the various modalities of domineering human interpersonal and sexual behavior presented in this 50+ years' worth of ongoing pulp fiction. Gor-ish domination dreck has been published under just this one plot line for over half a century, suggesting an ongoing interest in the subject. Bill Clinton probably (maybe) read this stuff while in college, and took it to heart. Either that, or he is just another human swine.