This is such powerful advice. ✊🥲
— Titania McGrath (@TitaniaMcGrath) July 28, 2021
When approaching a black person, it’s also helpful to gently hum a Tracy Chapman song to let them know you’re not a threat. pic.twitter.com/OADNhdnb4v
२८ जुलै, २०२१
Smiling at black people.
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dwshelf writes:
"For a long time, I've been inclined to look an oncoming black person in the eye, and indeed, return any reaction, perhaps with a bit of smile, or a "good morning".
"I do this with white people too of course, but I'm more determined to not pass the opportunity to do it with a black person. Black people are somewhat rare in my daily life.
"The difference might be racist, but I'm thinking it's not much suppressing anyone."
Temujin writes:
"I'm actually surprised at how many people on the left seem to think that pretty much everyone on the right is just basically racist and cannot help themselves from barking out racist comments at Black people or any person not purely white, as if they all have some sort of Conservative Tourettes. It must be very confusing to run into conservative Black people or Hipanic people or Asian people. I'm sure it's one reason a person like Thomas Sowell is not on suggested reading lists in universities. I've often wondered how people like Robin DiAngelo get over-the-top praise and best sellers for writing grade-school level, mean-girl books disguised as critical thinking, when a Thomas Sowell is not even a name 99 out of 100 people could recognize.
"But I digress. I know the McGrath comment is in jest, but the other one? Holy Crap. It's got to be hard to have your mind so convinced of others' inability to be human."
Vinarce writes:
"Randomly showing solidarity with Black people is a thing? A desirable thing? A necessary for some weird reason thing? Is showing solidarity with any kind of random person that you encounter a thing?
"Maybe I should (I don't think so), but just randomly smiling at someone or randomly saying "Hi" to someone sitting at a cafe table or standing in a line isn't something I generally do. It isn't something most people do since it would generally make the person think, "Hmm, WTF was that?"
"Which all shakes out, of course, to this little homily being just more Blackmania rubbish."
Jack writes:
"I try to acknowledge black people in a way that I judge to be best received by them. When I pass a black bicyclist coming the other direction, this takes the form of eye contact, a head nod and a lifting of fingers from the handlebars to signal a wave. For older black people I try to look them in the eyes, smile and say some form of good day. By the way, these gestures are exactly the same as what I try to do for white people etc. I usually don’t get much of a response the first time, but when I see them again I do. In some cases they beat me to it. And it makes me feel good! I highly recommend it."
I'll add:
Yes, it's the norm around where I live to briefly look and people you pass and nod or say hi. It's good to follow a standard approach and treat everyone the same. I can't see any reason why black people would want extra acknowledgment. It's just patronizing. If your approach is too unfriendly, adjust it. For everyone. But there are some places, notably NYC, where it's not the culture to acknowledge people or smile or say hi and if you do, you will annoy some people and signal vulnerability to others. Not a good idea.
Leora writes:
"When I was 16 I was in a residential summer program at a major university which was racially mixed. I overheard two black girls talking about how one of the white girls annoyed them because she was always smiling at them. They then noticed me sitting there and stared at me. I said, “I don’t think that will be a problem with me.” I probably should have smiled at them, but I just left the room.
"I smile at people when I encounter then on my walks around the neighborhood anyway unless they are playing audibly loud music. So far I have encountered no objections. "
Gus writes:
"Wasn’t there a previous thread about a black women, who stated that she wished white people would stop smiling at her for no reason?"
I'll say:
Fortunately, I have a "smiling" tag, so I'll check.... not seeing it.
ALP writes:
"I have a story to share about this very issue. Happened around 2002 or so, while I was living in the Seattle neighborhood of Magnolia. I used a small bus stop across the street to get to work - just a small shelter with a bench seat and coverage from the rain. Once in a while when I got to my stop in the morning, I would see an elderly Black couple waiting for the bus. Unfriendly people - the would sort of scowl at me and ignore me. Fine - I was used to the Seattle Freeze by then. Kinda awkward if raining and we had to stand pretty near each other.
"One morning I just couldn't help myself. Determined to break the ice, I smiled broadly, looked the woman in the eye, and said "Good Morning." What did I get in return? No verbal response just an obvious doubling down of the "Who Farted?" look and angry scowl from both. I guess I was before my time, eh?"
r writes:
Hi Prof: Some anecdotal evidence from many years of living and working in DC:
- Saying good morning, afternoon, etc, to everyone you pass is a black middle-class thing. I can walk down the sidewalk with a black friend and pass 100 whites with no one saying anything, but nearly every black person we pass will either initiate or return the greeting of the day. This may be a southern thing, no longer practiced by DC whites because almost none of us are from the south anymore, but still reinforced in black families as polite behavior.
- I go running on trails in DC. I generally say some sort of greeting to fellow runners, or wave if I am too out of breath. White runners are about 50/50 in returning the greeting. Blacks say hello back at 80%+.
Again, just anecdotes, on the general theme that black culture is southern culture.
Amadeus48 writes:
"When I was a young lawyer in the 70s, my firm assigned me to do some work for a MESBIC (minority enterprise small business investment corp.) owned by one of our bank clients. One of the two principal officers was a very sophisticated, young black executive. One time as I attempted to make some rather clumsy remarks expressing appreciation for their business because we wanted to have business from the African-American community, he asked me, “Amadeus, are you patronizing me?” And I realized that I sounded like I was. I vowed to myself that I would never fall into that trap again. I liked him. I respected him. I was grateful for his business. That was enough.
"I have always been glad that he called me out. "
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