३ सप्टेंबर, २०१९

"A naked man broke into a Downtown apartment... a white man in his late 30s to early 40s, about 6 feet, 2 inches tall, very skinny and very tanned."

From "Naked burglar awakens Downtown resident, steals cash, Madison police say" (Wisconsin State Journal).

Why would you commit burglary naked? This happened at 6:15 a.m. Sunrise was 6:24, so it was already light out. The resident was asleep, and "When the naked man woke the resident, he told the resident he just wanted to wake him up." Naked man then asked for cash and got it. I note that with a naked man, you can see that he doesn't have a weapon and that he's not really mentally with it. Would you give him cash?

११३ टिप्पण्या:

Sebastian म्हणाले...

"a white man"

Ah. As opposed to when a story doesn't specify race.

traditionalguy म्हणाले...

I suspect this burglar preferred Pot over walks among the trees. So you would have to treat him as a drunk and show him mercy.

Kevin म्हणाले...

"When the naked man woke the resident, he told the resident he just wanted to wake him up."

He should have said someone hired him as a naked alarm clock.

Then he could have held out for a tip.

gilbar म्हणाले...

you can tell when a corrupt politician is a Republican; 'cause they mention it in the headline
you can tell when a criminal is a White man; 'cause they mention it in the headline


you can tell a person is wacked out of their mind on drugs; 'cause they're naked

Bay Area Guy म्हणाले...

If I had young kids in the apartment, I would shoot first and ask questions later.

stevew म्हणाले...

I would if i was convinced he would leave. Worth a little cash to get the crazy guy out of my house.

Barry Dauphin म्हणाले...

This happens all the time in Germany.

readering म्हणाले...

Plus you figure he'll be caught and it increases the seriousness of the crime charged.

Johnathan Birks म्हणाले...

I'm guessing the guy was tripping his balls off.

Ignorance is Bliss म्हणाले...

Would you give him cash?

Naked man? No.
Naked woman? Tips would be commensurate with the quality of service provided.

readering म्हणाले...

If I had young kids in the apartment I would not want to create a crime scene for them if I could help it.

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

Why not offer him pants?

He's very skinny, so I'm sure the pants will fit.

readering म्हणाले...

Lot of focus on race in althouse comments.

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

I would tell him to get out!

Dust Bunny Queen म्हणाले...
ही टिप्पणी लेखकाना हलविली आहे.
Fen म्हणाले...

Meth addict looking for cash to score more. Very dangerous, hears voices that you intend on killing him. Either do what he says or put him down hard and quick.

Fen म्हणाले...

I had to refresh and repost that 8 TIMES to get it to finally take.

"Whoops! There's an error!"

Whip the Hamsters, they are slacking off.

Ralph L म्हणाले...

Thin and naked does not equal harmless.

You'd have to surrender a belt with those pants.
I struggled to find 32x34 adult trousers for decades until I got fat 2 years ago.

Fen म्हणाले...

readering: Lot of focus on race in althouse comments.

No, the focus is on racism and the double standards of racists like yourself.

Ignorance is Bliss म्हणाले...

readering said...
If I had young kids in the apartment I would not want to create a crime scene for them if I could help it.

At the point when you wake up to a naked man in your house, not a crime scene is no longer an option. Your choice relates to how messy a crime scene it is, and the level of police involvement.

Jeff म्हणाले...

note that with a naked man, you can see that he doesn't have a weapon
Or at least you can see how fearsome it is.

Dust Bunny Queen म्हणाले...

Would you give him cash?

(reposted to fix egregious errors)

I would make up a story about where my purse is at and tell him: "OK, you stay here.... I'll be right back"

Then just scamper out the door, half naked because that is how I sleep.

Then when I run to the neighbors, they will probably assume I am the crazy one, they will play along and call the police. I am ultimately arrested for being crazy and naked at the neighbor's house. When I tell the police about the naked man in my house, who is probably gone by now, I will get put into a padded observation room....for my own safety.

So. Nah. I should have shot him.

stevew म्हणाले...

At 5' 10" my pants would be like capris or shorter on a 6'2" guy, you would have to add the men in shorts tag.

Mike Sylwester म्हणाले...

As opposed to when a story doesn't specify race.

Yes, if the article had not specified that he was a white man, then everyone would have known he was a colored man.

John henry म्हणाले...

If he was "very tanned" was he still "white"?

Why is a very tanned person not a person of color?

John Henry

Mike Sylwester म्हणाले...

How come the article does not describe the man's penis.

In particular, was his penis very tanned too?

Laslo Spatula म्हणाले...

He didn't need a gun. The implied threat was that he would sit naked on your furniture.

I am Laslo.

Ralph L म्हणाले...

Imagine the police line-up.
Just like Porky's.

Fen म्हणाले...

Mabe give the hamsters some meth?

Mike Sylwester म्हणाले...

Since the man's height could be estimated to the inch (6'2"), the length of his penis could have been estimated likewise to the inch.

Since the man was white, the length might be relatively short, which would make this estimation relatively accurate.

Fen म्हणाले...

note that with a naked man, you can see that he doesn't have a weapon

According to FBI crime stats, approx 700 people per year are killed by fists.

I thought we dispensed with this stupidity after an "unarmed" Micheal Brown was shot.

Fen म्हणाले...

"Then when I run to the neighbors, they will probably assume I am the crazy one"

Murphy might also smile upon you. I'm told he loves irony:

"Half-Naked Lady Shot By Neighbors While Pounding On Their Door"

Mike Sylwester म्हणाले...

Correction to my comment at 10:36 AM

I inadvertently wrote the expression colored man.

I meant to write Man of Color.

Please make the mental correction.

Openidname म्हणाले...

The resident was male. This makes a huge difference. A male resident can proceed on the assumption that the perp just wants money. A female resident would have to assume he had the intent to rape.

Calypso Facto म्हणाले...

Just implore, "What about the Dingell-Norwood bill?!?" and send his drug-addled brain reeling.

Especially if he's from Norwood and his name is Bill.

Bob Boyd म्हणाले...

Forest bathing wasn't cuttin' it anymore for this guy.

mockturtle म्हणाले...

Would you give him cash?

Clothes, maybe. No, like DBQ I'd probably shoot him. Any stranger who breaks into my house in the middle of the night gets shot. It's really that simple. And I might feel some sorrow to know that he is a desperate drug addict and all but, sorry. He's toast.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM म्हणाले...

is "Crime Bathing" a thing now?

They say they need the money for clothes, but they just blow it on booze.

readering म्हणाले...

Now I'm thinking, Dutch remake of the Terminator.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM म्हणाले...

Mockturtle:
she's sweet
petite,
and packin' heat.

Ralph L म्हणाले...

I wonder if he was from Florida, though isn't Wisconsin full of Germans?

Where did he stash the cash?

An old saying at USNA was that it was a $100k education shoved up your ass a nickel at a time.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM म्हणाले...

@Readering

"Laundry Day-- nothing clean"

tim maguire म्हणाले...

In the moment, I'm not sure what I'd do, but I'd like think I'd offer him pants and breakfast.

rehajm म्हणाले...

Very nice DBQ. The situation you are describing is textbook goat rope.

rehajm म्हणाले...

Goat Rope: From LCDR Charles Breen, USN, who tried to untangle a goat's rope, only to be bitten by said goat, then to deck same goat, Mongo style, right as busload of tourists rounded the bend in time to think he was beating the crap out of a goat for no reason.

rehajm म्हणाले...

As for naked Madison druggie, seems too pedestrian to make the news...

Fen म्हणाले...

Goat Rope: From LCDR Charles Breen, USN, who tried to untangle a goat's rope, only to be bitten by said goat, then to deck same goat, Mongo style, right as busload of tourists rounded the bend in time to think he was beating the crap out of a goat for no reason.

LOL that sounds like my day.

Bob Boyd म्हणाले...

Home Intrusion Therapy guide requires a different set of aptitudes than a Forest Therapy guide.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM म्हणाले...

DBQ's is somewhat Thurber-esque re: Unicorn/Garden

exiledonmainstreet, green-eyed devil म्हणाले...

Years ago, I was living in a ground-floor apartment on the East Side of Milwaukee. Late one winter night, I was in the living room watching a movie when I heard someone knocking on the window. The Venetian blinds were down but not closed, so I could see a person was out there but I didn't have a clear view of him. He said, "Please help me. Please let me in. I'm in trouble." "I'm not going to let a naked stranger in," I said. "I'll call the police and they can help you." He said, "Don't do that. I don't have any clothes on. It's a long story." I said, "I'll call the cops." I called the cops (who either thought it was a prank call or not worth investigating, because they never showed) and while I was on the phone, the guy ran off.

He could have been a perfectly innocent guy in some sort of weird and unfortunate situation, but I wasn't taking any chances.

exiledonmainstreet, green-eyed devil म्हणाले...

Oops, I kinda wrecked my own story there. I told him I was not going to let a naked stranger in AFTER he told me he was naked. I wouldn't have let a clothed stranger in either.

Beasts of England म्हणाले...

I think it’s time for a ‘naked outdoors’ tag...

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM म्हणाले...

Mae West would have turned the tables on this poor guy--

The Cracker Emcee Refulgent म्हणाले...

Sounds like meth to me. You do a lot of drugs long enough and your standards start to slip. A little.

Fernandinande म्हणाले...

Ah. As opposed to when a story doesn't specify race.

Yes, normally "no race" = black, but try this search, madison.com doesn't seem so bad:

site:madison.com "suspect" "described"

suspect described as a black man,
suspect described as Hispanic
robber was described as a black man
suspect was described as a white male
suspect, described by police as white,
suspect was described as a white male,
suspect .. a black male,
suspect was described as a black male
suspect was described as a black male,
suspect was described as a white male

etbass म्हणाले...


Mike Sylwester

“Correction to my comment at 10:36 AM

I inadvertently wrote the expression colored man.
I meant to write Man of Color.
Please make the mental correction.”

Correction, please, Mike.
You don’t know how he/it/she identifies. You shudda said, Person of Color. POC wudda been ok.

Dust Bunny Queen म्हणाले...

Goat Rope: From LCDR Charles Breen, USN, who tried to untangle a goat's rope, only to be bitten by said goat, then to deck same goat, Mongo style, right as busload of tourists rounded the bend in time to think he was beating the crap out of a goat for no reason.

Fen said: LOL that sounds like my day.

My husband said it sounds like his entire LIFE!

LOL too.

Yancey Ward म्हणाले...

"He could have been a perfectly innocent guy in some sort of weird and unfortunate situation, but I wasn't taking any chances."

Yeah, he could have been this guy.

Yancey Ward म्हणाले...

Skinny and naked has meth written all over it. If I were the homeowner, I would have cracked his head with a baseball bat- or shot him with a gun if I had one.

n.n म्हणाले...

Why did the chicken cross the road... to reach the clothes on the other side.

The mythical climate refugee. Deprivation and coloring are incontrovertible evidence of Catastrophic Anthropogenic Global Warming.

That said, sequester a baby... fetus. Reduce your carbon footprint.

Beasts of England म्हणाले...

’From LCDR Charles Breen, USN, who tried to untangle a goat's rope, only to be bitten by said goat, then to deck same goat, Mongo style, right as busload of tourists rounded the bend in time to think he was beating the crap out of a goat for no reason.’

That’s fantastic, rehajm - thanks for sharing it!!

RobinGoodfellow म्हणाले...

“Would you give him cash?”

I don’t keep a lot of cash in the house. I have precious metals—mainly lead and copper. I’d give him all the metals he could carry.

gilbar म्हणाले...

This would another situation, where waiting for the police to come and take care of the body wouldn't be much of a problem.
Instead of "I NEVER saw him, until it was TOO LATE"
it'd be "I woke up and THERE HE WAS, I was i fear for my life; so i SHOT him"

{now, (again,)i'll get someone that needs explaining that just because you have to fill our forms doesn't mean that the person isn't dead}

John Ray म्हणाले...

Cop: What color hair?

Vic: I don't know, he was naked.

Cop: What color eyes?

Vic: I don't know, he was naked.

Cop: If I bring a sketch artist in, can you describe his face for APB purposes?

Vic: I doubt it, he was naked.

A perfect crime?














AllenS म्हणाले...

All right, I'll ask the question then: was he circumcised or not. That would be really helpful with a line up of 5 or 6 citizens.

AllenS म्हणाले...

male citizens of course.

cacimbo म्हणाले...

I share my home with two dogs.One 115 pounds and the other 70 pounds.The dogs ensure strangers know not to enter uninvited -whether they are wearing clothes or not.

Left Bank of the Charles म्हणाले...

The “Would you give him cash?” question presumes a fact not in evidence:

Althouse: “Naked man then asked for cash and got it.”

Original: “The suspect then walked through the apartment before going back into the bedroom and asking the victim if he had any money, “ [Madison police] said. “The suspect then went through the victim’s wallet on the dresser and took the cash in it before leaving.”

Iman म्हणाले...

Too bad he wasn’t wearing white gloves, he could’ve claimed he was doing a housekeeping spotcheck...

Wince म्हणाले...

A divorced lady arrives home from a bar
Guess, guess what she sees, sees there?


Fucking In Rhythm And Sorrow

There is a naked person in my flat!
He's got a weird expression on his face!
Oh my god and jesus as well!
W-what are you doing here?
Are you hurting your chest?
Offending yourself?

Forcing yourself into pain and sorrow like there is no tomorrow?
You should use the pain and sorrow
To fill you up with power
Life's both sweet and sour!

He looks at me hopeless with tears in his eyes
Goes out of the window and up on the roof
Naked man, naked man calm down!
I-I'll give you some strawberry cake

Louie Looper म्हणाले...

One could clearly see his nuts.

Darrell म्हणाले...

One could clearly see his nuts.

One could clearly see he's nuts.

rhhardin म्हणाले...

It's a trick to keep people from remembering his face.

rhhardin म्हणाले...

Pretty much, genital-wise, all men look alike. No hope for identification.

Jim at म्हणाले...

Give him the money? Are you serious?

Dude would be dead.

exiledonmainstreet, green-eyed devil म्हणाले...

Yeah, he could have been this guy.

9/3/19, 11:39 AM

Yancy, everyone in that video is surprisingly calm and unruffled by the sight of a naked man wandering around in the hotel. Nobody even laughs. I was starting to wonder if it happened in Germany, until I heard the desk clerk.

Crimso म्हणाले...

"According to FBI crime stats, approx 700 people per year are killed by fists."

21 ft. rule. And if you break into my house, you're going to get shot. I know too many people who are dead today because they weren't armed.

The way this played out is about as amusing as watching Timothy Treadwell hang out with grizzly bears.

walter म्हणाले...

"I note that with a naked man, you can see that he doesn't have a weapon "

Note that with a naked woman, the same cannot be said.

Bob Boyd म्हणाले...

Keep in mind, if you shoot someone, even if you are exonerated, it's going to be an ordeal and it's going to be expensive.
My advice is, have alternatives to the nuclear option.

Ralph L म्हणाले...

My grandfather slept with a pistol under his pillow until his first heart attack. We found 5 pistols in the bedroom after Grandma died.

I used to keep a bayonet from the Spanish American War under the bed, but it got misplaced when I moved. For years, I had several feet of 2x4, but now I have a hammer.

अनामित म्हणाले...

Yeah, my dogs will wake me up first; if somebody gets past the dogs (who are actually just noisy sweethearts), they're getting shot. It's utterly moronic to assume that anyone in your house, uninvited, is there for good reasons, clothed or otherwise.

Bob Boyd म्हणाले...

A hammer could definitely mess somebody up, but it's kind of up close and personal. That's not for everybody.
If you're not a hammer kind of person,here's an affordable option
Available through the Althouse portal.
Buy two, take one out and shoot it at a target so you know what to expect.
I'm not associated with Kimber or this product in any way.

n.n म्हणाले...

Law of Self Defense

You carry a gun so you’re hard to kill. Know the law so you’re hard to convict!

–Andrew

Attorney Andrew F. Branca
Law of Self Defense LLC

Ralph L म्हणाले...

I chased away by yelling obscenities a guy who was breaking into my car parked behind the house, so now I keep a hatchet by the backdoor.

walter म्हणाले...

So we are told the guy was very tanned..but no mention how he got in.

Bob Boyd म्हणाले...

now I keep a hatchet by the backdoor.

It sounds like its only a matter of time now. Maybe keep a roll of visqueen and some duct tape in the trunk too.

Jim at म्हणाले...

My advice is, have alternatives to the nuclear option.

Sure. Easy to say when you're not facing the threat.

I caught a guy dead to rights inside my attached garage trying to steal my car. He fled before I could do what should've been done.

The police caught him later. He was positively ID'd by me. And the prosecutor declined to file charges.

From now on, it's shoot, shovel and shut up.

Jaq म्हणाले...

A person I grew up with became a paranoid schizophrenic at around 20. This sounds like a normal day for him when he was off his meds.

Fernandinande म्हणाले...

Yeah, my dogs will wake me up first; if somebody gets past the dogs (who are actually just noisy sweethearts), they're getting shot.

I definitely wouldn't shoot my dogs, and besides that I'd also hesitate to shoot the crazy POS, especially if it was some jerk lame and fucked enough enough to be naked, because the noise would hurt the dogs' ears.

Framing hammer in close quarters should work well on that sort, 22 auto if necessary.

Fernandinande म्हणाले...

Law of Self Defense

"If you have to shoot somebody, make sure he's dead." -- Dad.

Maillard Reactionary म्हणाले...

AA asked: "Would you give him cash?"

No, that would just encourage him to do it again.

Someone who breaks into my house in the daytime will get shot with the 9mm I keep in the closet safe. Someone who breaks into my house at night, and disturbs my sleep, will get shot with the .45 I keep in the night table. That one has the spiffy tritium sights on it.

I really hate being bothered when I'm trying to sleep.

Bob Boyd म्हणाले...

Law of Self Defense

"If you have to shoot somebody, make sure he's Dad." -- Mom.

Dust Bunny Queen म्हणाले...

Jim From now on, it's shoot, shovel and shut up.

Around here it is not uncommon to see this sign.

NO TRESPASSING!!
I OWN A GUN &
A BACKHOE

And generally, that is the truth.

Duty of Inquiry म्हणाले...

Cue Randy Newman...

https://youtu.be/Ycv6W-QSg0Q

"Won't nobody help a naked man?"

Leland म्हणाले...

You guys need to learn your drugs. People running around naked committing crimes is usually associated with hallucinogens like LSD or PCP. Meth and Pot typically cause people to become calmer and less likely to do something as active as burglarizing while naked.

PJ57 म्हणाले...

I had the opposite experience in my younger days. I was sleeping naked back when I looked okay sleeping naked, when a burglar started to pry open my apartment's glass doors. I bounced out of bed and just as he came through the drapes in front of the open doors, I socked him once in the face. I don't know if it was that mighty blow or his seeing that I was naked but he turned tail and was out of the apartment in nanoseconds.

Iman म्हणाले...

“Pretty much, genital-wise, all men look alike. No hope for identification.”

Except for WJ Clinton, who was said to be “like a roll of quarters bending left”.

Earnest Prole म्हणाले...

As Dave Chappelle notes in his new Netflix special, the handiest tool for dealing with trespassing heroin-addicted white people is a 12-guage shotgun.

Bob Boyd म्हणाले...
ही टिप्पणी लेखकाना हलविली आहे.
Fen म्हणाले...
ही टिप्पणी लेखकाना हलविली आहे.
Fen म्हणाले...

Meth causes people to become calmer and less likely to do something as active as burglarizing while naked.

Riiiight. That's why one sign homebuyers should look for to be sure they aren't buying a meth house is holes punched into the walls... because meth heads are calm.

mockturtle म्हणाले...

Keep in mind, if you shoot someone, even if you are exonerated, it's going to be an ordeal and it's going to be expensive.

As the saying goes, I'd rather be tried by 12 than carried by 6.

And Leland---you obviously have never been around any tweekers. For those unaware, the word 'tweeker' is a contraction of 'two-weeker' which usually describes a binge for a meth-head.

JPS म्हणाले...

Bob Boyd,

"My advice is, have alternatives to the nuclear option."

Funny. I live in a rather safe part of a city with considerable crime. The one time I just plain forgot to lock the front door after me, I was alerted to my failure three hours later: The stranger in my dining room seemed taken aback when I demanded to know what he was doing there, and roared at him to get out.

Only after I'd backed him out the front door and down the steps did I realize, he wasn't an intruder. Not by intention, anyway. He didn't want anything from us. He was drunk, and thought he'd just walked into his friend's house. (He was off by several miles.)

Anyway, it got me thinking afterward. I could have killed him. If I'd thought I had to, I would have. But it just wasn't necessary, so I'm glad I didn't.

Josephbleau म्हणाले...

used to keep a bayonet from the Spanish American War under the bed, but it got misplaced when I moved. For years, I had several feet of 2x4,

According to a pro tip from Redd Foxx you should keep your 2x4 soaking in a barrel of used motor oil for at least a year so it will not crack or splinter when used.

Narayanan म्हणाले...

Queen of COOL.
https://www.thoughtco.com/intruder-enters-queen-elizabeths-bedroom-1779399

gilbar म्हणाले...

Leland said...
You guys need to learn your drugs. . . Meth and Pot typically cause people to become calmer and less likely to do something as active as burglarizing while naked.

You Know HOW you can tell that someone REALLY NEEDS to learn their drugs?
They start sentences with Meth and Pot typically...

I think it's safe to say you're not a Regular meth user?

FullMoon म्हणाले...

Anybody here ever shoot an intruder?

Narayanan म्हणाले...

What's different in effects of amphetamine?
Meth and others?
Don't military use them?

Bob Boyd म्हणाले...

Anybody here ever shoot an intruder?

My advice is one of my take-aways after having been through it.

MaxedOutMama म्हणाले...

From the article: ""The suspect then walked through the apartment before going back into the bedroom and asking the victim if he had any money," Radovan said. "The suspect then went through the victim's wallet on the dresser and took the cash in it before leaving.""

He asked for it, but then took it. Victim never gave the nut the money.

If you want to have a fight with a six-foot naked breaker-and-enterer, go ahead, Althouse. Most people would say it's not worth it.

I'm having trouble believing this story ever happened, though. Was the victim's name Jussie?

FullMoon म्हणाले...
ही टिप्पणी लेखकाना हलविली आहे.
FullMoon म्हणाले...
ही टिप्पणी लेखकाना हलविली आहे.
Rosa Marie Yoder म्हणाले...

I know a young man who was found running naked through a city parking lot one very cold February. He's also very thin. And paranoid schizophrenic.

I'd give him the money.