From Wikipedia, and I looked that up because yesterday we were talking about mayonnaise — as we began the "Bonfire" project, and I was motivated to start looking things up when Laslo Spatula quoted Richard Brautigan:
I have always wanted to write a book that ended with the word "mayonnaise."What a quote! There's also a Tom Robbins quote about mayonnaise. (Remember when we all read Richard Brautigan and Tom Robbins?)
All Carolina folk are crazy for mayonnaise, mayonnaise is as ambrosia to them, the food of their tarheeled gods. Mayonnaise comforts them, causes the vowels to slide more musically along their slow tongues, appeasing their grease-conditioned taste buds while transporting those buds to a place higher than lard could ever hope to fly. Yellow as summer sunlight, soft as young thighs, smooth as a Baptist preacher's rant, falsely innocent as a magician's handkerchief, mayonnaise will cloak a lettuce leaf, some shreds of cabbage, a few hunks of cold potato in the simplest splendor, restyling their dull character, making them lively and attractive again, granting them the capacity to delight the gullet if not the heart. Fried oysters, leftover roast, peanut butter: rare are the rations that fail to become instantly more scintillating from contact with this inanimate seductress, this goopy glory-monger, this alchemist in a jar.
The mystery of mayonnaise — and others besides Dickie Goldwire have surely puzzled over this — is how egg yolks, vegetable oil, vinegar (wine's angry brother), salt, sugar (earth's primal grain-energy), lemon juice, water, and, naturally, a pinch of the ol' calcium disodium EDTA could be combined in such a way as to produce a condiment so versatile, satisfying, and outright majestic that mustard, ketchup, and their ilk must bow down before it (though, at two bucks a jar, mayonnaise certainly doesn't put on airs) or else slink away in disgrace. Who but the French could have wrought this gastronomic miracle? Mayonnaise is France's gift to the New World's muddled palate, a boon that combines humanity's ancient instinctive craving for the cellular warmth of pure fat with the modern, romantic fondness for complex flavors: mayo (as the lazy call it) may appear mild and prosaic, but behind its creamy veil it fairly seethes with tangy disposition. Cholesterol aside, it projects the luster that we astro-orphans have identified with well-being ever since we fell from the stars.
४४ टिप्पण्या:
The tangy zip of Miracle Whip.
How do you make an enemy of a Southerner? Offer them Miracle Whip.
The key to Carolina gentility and culinary perfection is Duke's mayonnaise.
They can cure anything at the Mayo Clinic.
And nabs. Nabs must be on hand.
That sounds like a parody of Everett Dirksen's marigold tribute bill.
I'm one of those weirdos that enjoys artisan mayo on French fries. However, this continues to grow in popularity. For the record I was doing it before it was popular.
Best 'consumer brand' I've ever had is Kewpie. It's Japanese. It's got a cute baby on the front so that you know for certain it's made 100% from babies.
As I kid growing up in the NY area, Mayonnaise was a staple. Had to be in all sandwiches. And it had to be Hellman's, just as Ketchup had to be Heinz.
All Carolina folk are crazy for mayonnaise, mayonnaise is as ambrosia to them, the food of their tarheeled gods.
And all us Tarheels have a genetic quirk; we can eat dishes made with mayonnaise that have been sitting in the sun for a while with no ill effects!
I call that a win!
"A common theory is that [mayonnaise] is named for Port Mahon in Menorca, in honor of the 3rd Duke of Richelieu's victory over the British in 1756..."
Actually, wasn't that Port McMahon?
I hold in my hand the envelopes. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed. They've been kept in a mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnalls' porch since noon today. No one knows the contents of these envelopes – but you, in your mystical and borderline divine way, will ascertain the answers having never before heard the questions."
Mayonnaise? Meh. It's OK … I like it better than ketchup with fries. I've used it most often in tuna salad. And Dukes, Hellmanns, Kraft … the difference is minimal.
Mayonnaise? It's Science!
Mayonnaise sucks.
It is, in general, bad. When applied to a burger, it is downright evil.
It's so bad, they've taken to try to sneak it into our foods by renaming it aioli
Blogger Lucid-Ideas said...
I'm one of those weirdos that enjoys artisan mayo on French fries. However, this continues to grow in popularity. For the record I was doing it before it was popular.
Like, before Pulp Fiction
@Howard
4sho. Incidentally, I was also cool before Sam Jackson was cool. No one - I mean no one - drops more F-Bombs than I do.
Mayonnaise is good.
Good on burgers.
Good on french fries.
Good on roast beef sandwiches with horseradish.
Not good on hot dogs. Neither is ketchup. Hot dogs demand mustard.
Basil Fawlty on Mayonnaise
Use it on Chik-Fil-A #1. And it’s good on hotdogs. But mixed with peanut butter ? That is a new one.
I have always wanted to write a sentence that ended with the word "mayonnaise."
Yes!
Duke's is the best mayonnaise. Homemade is very good but not as good as Duke's. I made mayo using just a whisk once--once. It took a while and was good; bright, citrus-y, smooth...but it took so long and made my arm so sore I never bothered again. Makes you appreciate pre-utility/electricity kitchen staff!
Shrimp or Crab Dip:
1 quart mayo (Duke's regular, full regular size jar)
1 pound shredded sharp cheddar cheese
1 pound shrimp (very fresh, cooked with Old Bay or preferred seasoning) or crab meat (supermarket is ok, I do 1/2 jumbo lump and 1/2 regular grade)
1/3 cup buttermilk
1 medium onion
Garlic salt
Salt and Pepper
Hot sauce (optional - I use with crab but not with shrimp)
Puree onion and buttermilk until slushy. Add a few shakes of garlic salt some hot sauce. Mix together puree, mayo, cheese, and meat. Add a little hot sauce and salt & pepper to taste. Refrigerate 12-24hrs. Serve cold with townhouse or ritz crackers. Will keep for a week or so in the fridge.
Mix mayonnaise with a bit of Sriracha for those pommes frites.
The only time I eat mayo (or miracle whip) is in tuna salad, potato salad and macaroni salad.
Amexpat said...As I kid growing up in the NY area, Mayonnaise was a staple. Had to be in all sandwiches. And it had to be Hellman's, just as Ketchup had to be Heinz.
I was at least 10 before I realized there were brands of pickles other than Mt. Olive. It was a shock!
HOLY CRAP. I always thought I was weird because of my love for mayo and peanut butter. It's a bizarre yet amazing combination that tastes like nothing else. Mayo and no-sugar PB go surprisingly good together!
And if you try it and want to go deeper on the subject, grab a jar of hellmans, a jar of natural peanut butter (the kind that separates; it shouldn't have any sugar), some turkey hotdogs and some kind of sandwitch bread. Mayo on one side, PB on the other and cold split hotdogs in the middle.
Do it.
Bayonne is better known for the bayonet. And chocolate.
The town in France, of course.
Carolina slaw is the best slaw.
Probably because it has zero mayonnaise.
I had an ex Carolina brother-in-law who'd have a Carolina barbeque party once a year.
With the slaw he'd import from somewhere up there. It was only once a year so he was humored
graciously.
Quaestor eschews mayonnaise generally, except when constructing a chicken sandwich with less than perfect tomatoes. The condiment does atone for many vegetable sins. Lately, he has turned to Caesar dressing as a tastier stand-in.
No mayonnaise ever pollutes a Quaestor creation made with salami or capocollo, however. Olive oil, wine vinegar, salt, oregano ... done.
BudBrown said...I had an ex Carolina brother-in-law who'd have a Carolina barbeque party once a year.
You'll going to have to be more specific, I'm afraid! NC or SC? Pepper vinegar, mustard, or Lexington/red/ketchup vinegar BBQ?
There's room for both vinegar-based slaw (which is fantastic with good pepper vinegary or mustard-based pulled pork BBQ) and for mayo-based slaw (which is great in a chili dog). With a mayo slaw you'll want to include some apple cider vinegar or buttermilk.
Chick-Fil-A's coleslaw was not bad--a bit too sweet but otherwise solid.
Well, I think I'm going to have to make an egg salad sandwich for lunch.
As I recall, Ed McMahon had something to do with this.
This timing is funny because tonight I’m making asparagus stuffed chicken and I need to make a tarragon mayo.
I love mayo, my husband considers it white death, but he’s game every few years. I don’t eat it as much as I used to and never on a hamburger.
"McMahon claimed that mayonnaise was originally called “Macmahonaise” and was named after his great-great-great-grandfather, who loved the condiment."
Dunning, Spungette, and Leach... That's approximate; I'm listening rather than reading, but it's very clever. much better than Dewey, Cheatam, and Howe.
dun (third-person singular simple present duns, present participle dunning, simple past and past participle dunned)
(transitive) To ask or beset a debtor for payment.
(transitive) To harass by continually repeating e.g. a request
sponge (slang) A person who takes advantage of the generosity of others (abstractly imagined to absorb or soak up the money or efforts of others like a sponge.
leech A person who lives as a parasite, a sponger, a bloodsucker, a vampire.
Correction. It's Dunning Sponget & Leach. No commas. Wolfe missed that one. Spungette is much better, more subtle.
. Remember when we all read Richard Brautigan and Tom Robbins?
No. But I remember when other people read them, also Pynchon and Vonnegut. I didn't find those writers interesting.
Most of my ancestors were in NC before 1800. My grandmother used to make mayonnaise when my dad was young, and he'd eat it with a spoon.
Some BBQ places put pepper in the slaw, an error because the slaw should contrast with the pork.
Learned to make mayonnaise in high school in Latin Club, of all places. Teacher claimed that the origin of the spread was Roman. But talking about home made mayonnaise, my partner cannot handle the consumption of many fats. Thinks it might have been the result of something that her older sister got her to ingest at a very young age. Regardless, to this day, almost 60 years later, she throws up if she eats mayo. Anything shiny is suspicious, including what is supposed to be crushed avocados (apparently, mayonnaise or the like is often used as filler). Her mother, a granola girl even before the hippie era, made a lot of her own food, and that included making mayonnaise. My partner remembers dropping a spoon in the blender one time, when this was a chore of hers, and getting it all over her self, including her hair. Took several washings to get it all out. Mother would pack lunches the night before for her five kids that inevitably included her homemade mayonnaise in a sandwich. After a night on the counter in the Las Vegas heat, she was expected to eat it the next day at lunch. When she complained to her mother that she would throw up if she did, her mother (raised on a ranch) would tell her it was just in her mind (It isn’t - we have inadvertently encountered this sensitivity of hers several times, with inevitable, often almost violent, consequences). In the end, another girl in her class had a mother who never made lunches, but instead sent money, and my partner would swap every day, buy an apple and a candy bar, and would pocket the rest. Everyone was happy (though her mother, no doubt wouldn’t have been, if she had known, but five kids is enough to have kept her from wondering about the finances of one of her middle kids).
I didn't find those writers interesting.
Thank gawd for chuck. I was holding back on Brautigan and Robbins. I gave old Dick twenty minutes to make the sale, but all I got was the certainty he was much too obsessed with his GF for his latent talent. Brautigan came across as Baudelaire fed on a diet of hotdogs.
As for Robbins... there's man guilty of playing some very cruel jokes on dewy-eyed English undergrads.
...at least it's fresh puke.
Learned to make mayonnaise in high school in Latin Club, of all places. Teacher claimed that the origin of the spread was Roman.
Wonder how Teacher acquired that hypothesis. If Hellman's mayonnaise contained rotten sardines I'd find the claim plausible.
But it don't.
I remember Johnny Carson making fun of Bayonne, New Jersey... because Ed McMahon lived there.
Isn't that freaky? We're talking about Mahon/McMahon and Bayonne...
From Ed McMahon's NYT obituary https://www.nytimes.com/2009/06/24/arts/television/24mcmahon.html:
"Edward Leo Peter McMahon Jr. was born in Detroit on March 6, 1923. His father, a vaudevillian, had to move a lot to find work, and young Ed had attended 15 high schools by the time he was a senior. Edward Sr.’s career was so erratic that one year, awash in money, the McMahons lived in the Mark Hopkins hotel, atop Nob Hill in San Francisco; another year, flat broke, they existed in a cold-water flat in Bayonne, N.J.
"As a boy in Bayonne, Mr. McMahon recalled, he dreamed of becoming an entertainer and did impersonations of stars, using a flashlight as his microphone and his dog, Valiant Prince, as his audience. He shined shoes, sold newspapers, dug ditches, sold peanuts, worked as an usher, labored on a construction gang and sold stainless-steel cookware door to door."
Looking for a clip of Johnny Carson making fun of Bayonne, New Jersey, I stumbled onto this.
Kind of blew me away!
That was from 1986, and I assume the joke was that Joe Biden, running for President, was getting in trouble for lying.
टिप्पणी पोस्ट करा