"'I don’t even leave the house anymore, I don’t want to be seen.' 'No Tinder matches in first 24 hours — is it over?' At one point, someone compares the skull sizes of Justin Bieber and Zayn Malik, carefully assessing which pop star has a more masculine-shaped head. Unhappy with how they look, thousands of young men are joining anonymous message boards such as Lookism.net to dissect their looks and exchange detailed tips on looksmaxing — their term for enhancing their appearance. Penis stretching, eyebrow botox, wrist enlargement, 'neck training,' nostril shrinking and 3D-printed skull implants are among the desired procedures and 'coping strategies' discussed at length on these sites."
From "Inside Incels’ Looksmaxing Obsession: Penis Stretching, Skull Implants And Rage/Thousands of 'involuntarily celibate' men in online forums are consumed by misogynist entitlement and a skin-deep quest for self-improvement" (HuffPo).
९१ टिप्पण्या:
Penis stretching; I always thought that had a different name.
Shave your ass and walk backwards on your hands.
Advice that has never been wrong.
I read that article yesterday. These guys seem really emotionally disturbed. And not in a sympathetic way. Frankly, they're pathetic creeps. They blame women for superficiality for rejecting them because they are (or see themselves as) ugly. The odd thing is, their unofficial saint and guru, Elliot Rodger, was a good-looking guy. His problem, as seems to be true of this gaggle of geeks, was consuming narcissism combined with self-hatred.
Incels!
The first step is to spend a few shekels going to a Nevada whorehouse to expunge this loserdom stuff out of your system.
The second step is bit more protracted. Get a job, move out of parents basement, get away from the internet, do a few push-ups, get some nicer clothes, be nice to girls, try to make conversation with live people in person, mebbe go to church, do some volunteer service, jeez, there's a lotta options out there!
Wait..when women can't find mates, it's blamed on men. When men can't find mates, it's blamed on....men.
Surprise!
They blame women for superficiality for rejecting them because they are (or see themselves as) ugly.
Yeah, women never complain about men this way...….
If you're ugly, find someone else who's equally ugly to go out with. But that's just too easy, isn't it?
Women are concerned over looks? Then how did I wind up married to a woman so beautiful and so smart (coming up on 44 years)? The right kind of woman wonders whether you are strong (hit the gym!), will you protect her if she ever needs it (back when we were dating a young man menaced the woman who became my wife — I think I teleported between her and him, and if he was going to get to her then all three of us knew it would only be if I was dead), will you be a good provider (or did you major in something that ends in “studies”), will you be a good father, will you do your share of the chores, can you make her laugh? Oh, and do you love her? That counts for a lot more than whether your nose is perfect.
To me, this is all about ethics. It is unethical to perform these treatments.
The ethical thing to do is to gas them and cremate their bodies for electricity.
Allowing, or causing Free-Ranging Insanity (FRI) should be a felony.
These guys seem really emotionally disturbed. And not in a sympathetic way. Frankly, they're pathetic creeps.
I thought the "on the spectrum" was cool now. So are we back to hating on the nerds?
3D printable skull implants? Great Caesar's Ghost!
These guys got it all wrong.
The only looks women care about are their own. And other women.
They'd do themselves a huge favor if they changed their attitude, not their looks. Confidence. That's a thousand times more attractive to a woman than any of that nonesense listed here. Botox? If a woman found out you were such a sissy you got Botox treatment, she'd laugh, and she wouldn't be laughing with you.
These fellas need more internal help than external.
If you're ugly, just do what Harvey Weinstein did.
Become a movie producer.
You'll have chicks galore. You won't even have to lose weight!
"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." So is "ugly."
Most people also wish their parents had given them some other name than the one they bear.
Or become a Funny TV Comedian.
Look at Bill Maher. The guy's an ugly midget (5-2)
But he has to beat them off with a stick.
A big wallet attracts more chicks then a stretched penis.
At least, that's what Zuckerberg told me.
Penis stretching; I always thought that had a different name.
I'm pretty sure that someone slipped that in as a joke.
I know because everything I buy off the internet is referred to as a penis enhancement.
The only penis stretcher I've ever seen was that one time when I was riding the bus, and looked up into an apartment. That guy!!....was stretching his penis. I don't think he was circumcised, so it might have been an optical illusion.
There are guys out there who never got much love from their mothers, and that is not their fault, but it can leave them feeling that something is wrong with them, that they have some kind of fatal flaw. Beating up on them only helps if you can crush their soul so low that they seek help.
Of course the trick in mockery and derision therapy is that you don't make them so angry that they kill themselves, but no big loss, amirite?
I know a couple of guys who should be incels, but they managed to avoid the fate with unjustified and bulletproof self confidence.
Know I've linked this before, but it's evergreen...
Louis CK: "You could find one and fuck one tomorrow, and solve the problem right there, with all that kindness in your heart."
"Thousands of 'involuntarily celibate' men in online forums are consumed by misogynist entitlement and a skin-deep quest for self-improvement" (HuffPo)."
Lee Siegel, call your office.
Which search keywords send traffic to this site?
Keyword Percent of Search Traffic
1. canthal tilt 5.01%
2. recessed maxilla 1.69%
3. negative canthal tilt 1.66%
4. lookism forum 1.57%
5. hunter eyes 1.54%
Subscribe to view more keywords for lookism.net
Your continued interest in "nostalgie de la boue" is a sad reflection of your jersey princess upbringing. Even in the bucolic midwest setting you just can't resist. You need a healthy dose of Phil 8:4.
Positive canthal tilt = you look like Vampira.
Negative canthal tilt = you look stupid.
Droopy incel eyes [Sylvester Stallone. Scleral show is evident, causing them to look deformed or like drug addicts. Often combined with negative canthal tilt / \ Often a sign of Crouzon's or Marfan's syndrome
“jersey princess upbringing“
Either you don’t understand that term or you don’t know my background.
I would probably have enjoyed and benefitted from a princess background but I didn’t get it. If I did, I would own it, because I’d have loved it.
"If you're ugly, find someone else who's equally ugly to go out with. But that's just too easy, isn't it?"
No. If they garner money, power, and fame they can date the world's most beautiful women. If you're a star they let you grab them by the cat.
Women with bad self image need our support as a society--it's our society's/the patriarchy's fault that poor girls are unhappy with themselves and we must devote 20% of the school day to positive self esteem training.
Men with bad self esteem are pathetic losers who need to get over it already. They deserve the shunning they receive; fuck them.
Say it with me, kids: equality!
Ann Althouse said...
If you're ugly, find someone else who's equally ugly to go out with. But that's just too easy, isn't it?
I'm genuinely trying to remember the last time I read someone tell women that the solution to their problem was to lower their standards. The only one that springs to mind is an article saying that aging women who want kids should be willing to settle for a guy without all the qualities she's been holding out for (to acknowledge the biological reality, etc) and as I recall that article was very widely condemned.
Not that it's bad advice, of course, but its notable how gendered advice of that type seems to be.
I'm genuinely trying to remember the last time I read someone tell women that the solution to their problem was to lower their standards.....Not that it's bad advice, of course, but its notable how gendered advice of that type seems to be.
No woman must ever be made to feel bad about, or responsible for, anything, ever.
The one that needs work is princess O-C with the crazy eyes.
Blogger Char Char Binks said...
"If you're ugly, find someone else who's equally ugly to go out with. But that's just too easy, isn't it?"
Well, it wasn't that easy for the guy with the harelip who dated the girl with a wooden eye.
Yesterday we are body shaming Tom Brady, one of the most athletically accomplished human beings in American History, for not looking like a male model, today we are wondering why young men are getting cues that looks are important.
In principle, and absent the massive presence of every kind of media putting up men as models who have both physical gifts and enormous time to spend on their body, not to mention makeup and hair artists, in principle, I would agree with you, but it’s just possible that the “toxic masculinity” that is out there is exactly the kind of masculinity that is visual catnip to women.
I am not saying that what the media is doing to young women isn’t a crime against humanity in the most literal sense either.
OK, Maybe not THE most literal.
"'Rate my face.' 'I already know I’m ugly.' 'Dropped 7K on a nose job.' 'Candid photo of my profile reveals my subhumanity.'"
Dropping $7K on a nose job - to look better - to attract a girl.
Dropping $7K at a Nevada whorehouse over 15 sessions to actually get laid.
I guess these Incels are stupid too.
This seems appropriate.
I'll note that I failed to follow the advice offered.
I don't really give a damn, but they should just shell out some bucks for prostitutes- that has got to be better than this shit....right?
Professor Althouse may need to make an incel tag.
In the early 70's I had a flat-mate who looked like a human-sized toad, but this guy got more ass than the proverbial toilet seat. He had a snappy line of patter and didn't take rejection too much to heart. Of course, none of the ladies hung around very long, but he made up for it in volume.
Total Trump voters.
Are they not even trying to hump some fatties at least or are their personalities really just that demented?
This is the first article I've read in a long time in which the people being discussed are assigned blame for their plight and not society.
They are; but the fact that it's mostly white males is just a coincidence, of course.
Develop your personality. Be witty, funny, interesting. Or work hard and make money. Those will win over a lot of women. At least as many who go for looks.
There are way better ways to attract a girl with 7K. He could buy a jet ski. This guy needs a male friend or two who have actually accomplished the seemingly insurmountable feat of attracting a girl, not a bunch of theorizing from other men who can’t do it, or worse, con artists. My guess is no older brothers, absent fathers.
The two celebrities whose looks they're comparing might have become famous because of looks but that's only for little fangirls and the fact that producers gave them some music to lip-sync.
Damn, these aggro Trumpies are really stupid.
Re: Steve Galbraith:
They are; but the fact that it's mostly white males is just a coincidence, of course.
Asians are overrepresented in this demo too, I think. Cho Seunghui was Korean, and Eliott Rodger half-Asian. Not that this is apt to increase journalists' sympathy.
The first step is to spend a few shekels going to a Nevada whorehouse to expunge this loserdom stuff out of your system.
The second step is bit more protracted. Get a job, move out of parents basement, get away from the internet, do a few push-ups, get some nicer clothes, be nice to girls, try to make conversation with live people in person, mebbe go to church, do some volunteer service, jeez, there's a lotta options out there!
I agree wholeheartedly with the second paragraph (and would apply most of it to women too, tbh) but have to disagree with the first part. No quality woman is EVER going to be ok with someone who went to a whorehouse. EVER. If for some mysterious metaphysical masculine reason I can't grasp because I'm a woman you simply have to do it to reset your brain in some fashion, well, ok, but take my advice and never never never never ever tell her. And be prepared for the shit to hit the fan and to destroy her trust in you if she finds out, which she might, if you actually do it.
"but take my advice and never never never never ever tell her"
This goes for every ex-girlfriend you have ever had also. Never tell the current one about her predecessors of any stripe, professional or otherwise. She doesn't want to know.
She will probably try to tell you all about her ex-boyfriends. I don't know why women do that.
"This guy needs a male friend or two who have actually accomplished the seemingly insurmountable feat of attracting a girl"
True.
I am fortunate in that I am handsome, have a great body, and a big cock. I get hit on in Grindr in 5 seconds. I was in a tufts dorm last week doing a hottie. I felt kind of weird being in a dorm at my age but the sex was hot.
Tits.
It is pathetically sad that these young men are so focused on their own physical appearance and think that this (supposed) lack of good looks is the sole reason that they are unable to find relationships with the opposite sex.
Firstly, if the type of woman you are looking for is one who is so judgemental of superficial things.....she isn't worth having. Most women, of course, don't necessarily want to date Quasimodo. I would hazard a guess that most of these young men are basically normal looking and not deformed. There might be some who are seriously in need of cosmetic surgery. They are likely the minority.
Seriously guys, not looking like a male model will not disqualify you for dating. Guess what...there are a lot of not so attractive women out there too. Maybe you are being too picky?
Women want a man with character, sense of humor, good work ethic, kind to animals and children, willing to help and protect. A good family man. A good husband. A good friend. Looks come in way last in that race.
The attitude of these sad young men reminds me of that of self absorbed pre-teens and hormonal girls who are just certain that EVERYONE is looking at them. That everyone is judging them. If only I had the right hair, nails, clothes, shoes, boobs! then I can date the star quarterback.
The reality is that no one is looking, or judging you other than yourself. NO ONE CARES about that stuff.
You know how to get to date girls (or guys as the case may be)? Get out of your house. Hang around people of the opposite sex. Do fun things together as friends. Show interest in the other person instead of obsessing about yourself.
The problem, Titus, is with women.
That is the great game.
Women are the prizes worth having.
Ultimately your purpose, the reason you exist.
Anything else, male, animal, vegetable or mineral is a waste of time.
A shameful diversion from the essential.
Ms. Pantless,
No quality woman is EVER going to be ok with someone who went to a whorehouse.
That's not my general advice to all males, just my advice to these Incel dudes! These boys are stuck in loserville, and yapping with other like-minded losers on the internet about $7,000 nose jobs!
To cut through the fog, I'm merely suggesting a night with a quality, legal, Nevada whore. They need it! Crawl before you walk, walk before you run.
You think these goofs could find a quality woman on their current societal trajectory?
I think not.
But, in general, Yes, I agree -- it's better to meet women for drinks, dinner and dancing, and long walks on the beach, and all that fun stuff. The Incels are just not there yet.
My above advice is the same for the young girls who complain that there are no "good" men to date. Don't be so superficial and so picky.
Maybe that single guy who fixes your car, builds houses, sits quietly in class studying dumb stuff like chemistry....but who isn't Mr. Handsome, might be your perfect match. You won't know if you are too self absorbed to try to find out.
The problem with men and women, and advice thereof, is that all of this is only barely rational. What people should be doing isn't what people actually do, regardless of advice.
Irrational factors count for much more, including social ones, like local fashions and group dynamics.
There are plenty of unhappy, good looking people who have no trouble getting laid. Having loving relationships is more important in life than how many people you had sex with if your goal is happiness and fulfillment. We see that played out all the time with sports figures and celebrities. Incels really are low IQ guys.
I went over to lookism.net and watched part of the intro video which is devoted to "proving" that women are more available to guys who are good-looking. Duh.
I got the impression these Incels were very good-looking in their last lifetimes and were real dicks and completely missed learning the lesson on the importance of developing love relationships. Karma. They are still learning but from a different vantage point.
Reading the article, most of these guys sound like they have body dysmorphia. People of both genders suicide from it every year. I’ve suffered from it and recovered from it after many years. It’s literally like looking into a funhouse mirror at a carnival. What you (think you) see in your appearance isn’t actually there. This paragraph nails it:
Despite being conventionally handsome, as many commenters on his videos remarked, Kyle has repeatedly threatened to kill himself if his imperceptible balding continues.
The advice of most commenters here - get out of the house, do some pushups, show some confidence - is well-meaning but pointless. It’s like telling an anorexic that they’re concentration camp skinny and need to eat more - they simply won’t listen.
But I agree with Steve Galbraith, this is the only identity group (young males) that would ever get blamed and sneered at for its problems in articles of this kind.
No quality woman is EVER going to be ok with someone who went to a whorehouse.
While I agree with this in some ways: consorting with hookers is gross and unsanitary. I wouldn't throw out a perfectly good man if I found out that long ago, in a galaxy far far away he had done so once or even a few times. The long ago and infrequency matters.
However, I really don't want to know some things about my partner. I'm certainly not naive enough to imagine that my husband never had sex with others before we got married and he isn't naive about me either. Obviously, as being the second marriage for both of us, we were not virgins or even born again virgins. (although I did make that joke)
What I don't need are details, numbers or any other in depth discussions about past flames or past flings. "Yes. I know. You had a lot of girlfriends. Want to hear about my past boyfriends? Nope. Good. Then we will both shut up, then won't we?" :-D
What I do want to and need to know is the health status (STDs, HIV etc) of my future partner.
Balfegor said...
Asians are overrepresented in this demo too, I think. Cho Seunghui was Korean, and Eliott Rodger half-Asian. Not that this is apt to increase journalists' sympathy.
I knew one. He was US born with Laotian immigrant parents. He could have easily gotten married if he'd been willing to settle; his mother had set him up with half the Laotian girls on the east cost. He had a self-worth issue that in his mind would not be resolved unless he married an American girl. Not an easy task when you're 35 and have been raised to be a dutiful Laotian son who still lives at home.
Have an acquaintance who literally wired money to overseas women for air fare.
I knew a guy, actually a well known CBS News radio guy, who married a Ukrainian woman who came through one of those marriage broker things. Don't know what happened but they are not together,
Yeah, maybe I was a bit harsh about the brothel thing. If it was part of the journey -- and if you really love someone you share your journey with them -- ok fine, your future quality woman might not find it completely repellent. I am thinking about how during a particularly low point in his first marriage Mr. Pants had a regrettable incident with a woman not worthy of his attentions, and I understand it in context while it makes me sad that he did not have someone to love him as he deserved thus making something like that seem like a good idea. Part of the journey.
Also agree with others' points about how the problem is largely the self-absorbtion.
Maybe they could take up German saber-dueling.
A few good scars should divert interest from whatever else is wrong with ones face.
Scars are always good.
The danger, fear, exultation and and pain may also be therapeutic.
Academic Fencing
I think most incels are autistic or have some other serious brain disorder and they are hard to like, never mind love. These guys are looking for someone to love and be loved back, prostitutes are not good substitute, they should try to find female incel and they would be able to tolerate one another.
I question the validity of the idea that these dudes exist as some kind of definable group. Yeah, there’s an inordinate amount of fat schlubs in the current crop of twentysomethings, but it’s even truer of the chicks than the dudes. I see them paired off, the elephantine couples, compensating with ugly tattoos, ear gauges, piercings, black lipstick and cheap hipster fedoras. It’s not for me to question the course of love but I find it sad that they’re lives seem so graceless.
but take my advice and never never never never ever tell her [that you’ve been to a brothel]
Good advice. But neither wives nor husbands should probe too deeply in their spouse’s sexual history, beyond testing for STDs.
Of course there’s the story about marrying a virgin and later being told there are LOTS of guys who have better technique.
Part of the problem is that women barely in the top 50% only want to date guys in the top 5%.
Anyone see the article about that ex-Marine in Hollywood who serviced all those movie stars. Apparently rich, famous people don't have any scruples about paying for sex. Who knew that Spencer Tracy was occasionally gay and paid for sex? On the plus side, that's less scandalous than getting drunk and slapping Katherine Hepburn around. Katherine Hepburn paid for sex too.......Give the ex-Marine credit. He kept his mouth shut (figuratively speaking) for many years until his customers had passed on. He had more discretion and honor than Stormy Daniels. Semper fi.
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Rat my face
It seems that "incel" is the wrong characterization of the issue and a #Label that progresses the problem (PP).
I know this is a simplistic question, but did any of these guys have fathers in the house while growing up?
I think the problem is super heated egos or self-esteem paired with low self-confidence. That is a sense of entitlement backed by nothing more than a culture of deception. This is a progressive condition for both boys and girls, with clear and forward-looking consequences. Perhaps this is one of the diverse side-effects of Catastrophic Anthropogenic Global Warming.
I'm curious. How many younger guys are “volcels”, voluntarily celibate? Almost none right?
Young religious guys are, sure.
Most, perhaps all, boys and girls are, despite contemporary incentives to the contrary, capable of self-moderating, responsible behavior.
I think that contemporary youth culture contributes greatly to this issue. In the past, young people, who are typically super-conformist to their peer group, disconnected from said peer group when they were at home, or were limited to whatever amount of phone access they could get, which usually entailed limited privacy. With modern smartphones ever at hand, they NEVER disconnect from their peers, and get constant reinforcement of preposterous ideas and reasoning. I feel sure there is a measurable decrease in the amount of interaction with adult family members in this century. This exacerbates the reduction in the number of adult family members available to many kids as a result of marriage trends of the past 50 years.
Another point worth echoing is summarized by the Grateful Dead:
"Most of the cats that you meet on the street speak of true love
Most of the time they're sitting and crying at home
One of these days they know they gotta get going
Out of the door and into the street all alone"
If you never get off the bench and get in the game, you are never going to score.
Finally, though Ms. I Have Misplaced My Pants might rate it as one rung below consorting with prostitutes, a man can go international. Personally, I was done with American women as a class by the mid-1990s. On average, too much bullshit. Almost any American man will find his dating stock greatly improved OUTSIDE of the United States and associated western countries. Eastern Europe and Southeast Asia are very good places to find a wife, as is sub-Saharan Africa. In any of those places, the typical young woman is much less likely to be under the pernicious influence of modern feminism. For the $7,000 that asshole spent on his nose, he could have flown to Bangkok, gone up-country, gotten himself a hill-tribe bride, and come home with money in his pocket. And a word to older gents - where young American women see an "icky old pervert", foreign women see "a successful, established man."
I've always suspected most Althouse commenters were old men (like me) but this seems especially good evidence.
Up country Thailand!
@readering - Since he was a young douche-bag without any game, up country was probably his best shot. The whole scene in Pattaya is pretty much old white guys and young Thai women. I thought it was encouraging. There is still something to do if I am fortunate enough to live to be 80.
I dated a Thai woman a couple of times in Sydney. She told me to stay away from Thailand. I figured that the mountain had already come to Mohammed.
Women, of course, are not monolithic in their choices in men. Some are attracted by looks, but others by a wide assortment of virtues, as some have stated above. Some are merely attracted by money or power. The best advice for so-called "incels" is to stay in the game. Look at women for who they are, not for what you can get from them.
As a humorous aside, I knew a sergeant when I was in the service who had a very straight forward approach to getting laid. He wasn't very good looking, but was reasonably fit, was funny and gregarious, always upbeat. Called himself "Sugar". He had a huge wardrobe of nice suits. He always had a nice car. He carried with him a picture of him naked with his huge cock at full mast. At the right moment in his repartee with a potential "date", after a couple of drinks, he would show her the photo. He told me that 9 out of 10 women would slap his face, but the tenth... ah the tenth.
And he wasn't too concerned with their looks.
The peach orchards await.
Dear boys, try charm-stretching. It's easier to laugh women out of their clothes than to talk them out of them. Work on teh funny.
Lovernio is right boys, dick pics. That's the way to go! God knows women can't get enough of them!
Yes, Tim. Look where it got Anthony Wiener.
It wasn't just the photo, it was also that fact that he persisted in the face of slaps.
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