... but "Why Your Vagina Gets Dark And How To Lighten It" sets a standard of badness against which other bad blog posts can be judged.
Just at the anatomical level, it's wrong. It claims your vagina gets dark from "friction" because you need to lose weight. Even if we correct the terminology to "vulva," that's stupid. But if we don't, it's just silly. Your vagina is dark for the same reason your esophagus is dark and your colon is dark: It's inside your body where it's not exposed to a light source.
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And queue up the dark meat jokes...
And the racist jokes...
It's inside your body where it's not exposed to a light source.
I know that's a joke, but it makes one wonder if there is melanin in mesodermal tissue.
Outside of a vagina, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a vagina, it's too dark to read.
Obviously, some of these pussies have not been grabbed enough.
It's a parody mocking stuff women are willing to click on and read.
Oh fer fuck's sake, stop playing dumb.
If the friction theory were true most teenage guys would have coal-coloured dicks. And palms.
Your vagina is dark because a gypsy has put a curse on you.
Let the sunshine. Let the sunshine in. The sunnnnnnnnnnshinnnnnne in.
Finally, the song makes sense.
"I know that's a joke, but it makes one wonder if there is melanin in mesodermal tissue."
But who would care about the color of body parts that are not looked at? How would they even know? What color are the insides of your internal organs?
But who would care about the color of body parts that are not looked at?
They are looked at, by the guy you chose; and if you trimmed all that hair away, you might worry that he won't like the color.
There's labiaplasty, so color can be another imagined worry.
No guy cares. But it's a woman worry if you can sell it to them.
Usually, if a woman is fretting about the color of her nether regions, you can ask her,
"Did a gypsy woman recently come up to you, brush her finger along your groinal area and whisper the word Darker?"
Often times that will jog her memory and she'll go like, "Holy Shit! That bitch cursed my cooter? Whoa!" or something like that.
Then you help her lift the curse.
Bleaching is a growing industry.
Perhaps the 4Chan guy can enlighten us.
But who would care about the color of body parts that are not looked at? How would they even know? What color are the insides of your internal organs?
The color is the light — no light, no color.
I never thought I'd be explaining one of Althouse's jokes to Althouse.
How does this impact the 2018 vagina voters?
Whenever two dudes are talking, it's pretty common to hear a conversation that goes something like this:
One dude says, "How's it going with your new lady, bro?"
The other will invariably answer either, " Dude, she has the palest vag, it's like super pale, right? I think it's love, Bro."
Or "I had to let her go, dude. She was getting a might dark in there, you know? I couldn't deal with it."
But who would care about the color of body parts that are not looked at? How would they even know? What color are the insides of your internal organs?
Lay open the toro as in a surgical procedure and you'd find many colors, browns mostly. The heart is brown. So are the liver and the kidneys. But the heart is a muscle, which the other brown things are not. I don't know what that means other than you're likely to be in big trouble if someone can appreciate the colors of your innards.
Do I care? Well, I wonder why Mother Nature made us land-dwelling tetrapods so boringly monochromatic compared to your average cephalopod. They live underwater where the predominant "color" is abyssal black, whereas we live in nearly unfiltered sunlight.
Please tell me this is a sly joke. Its getting harder and harder to distinguish between parody and reality.
"I had to let her go, dude. She was getting a might dark in there, you know? I couldn't deal with it."
Dark for dark business.
As for this bleaching trend, I suppose if you're going to get that "special place" all tatted up, you might as well start with a clean canvas.
My colon produces its own light.
All I have to do is spread my ass cheeks, and I need dark glasses to read between my legs.
I thought exposure to light darkened skin.
chickelit said...
Perhaps the 4Chan guy can enlighten us.
So you think the 4Chan guy is funny, chickelit? I can't imagine what sort of mind thinks like that. Sad.
Pretending everyone doesn't understand the blogger is talking about the vulva when she uses the word vagina? Althouse just became Rob Lowe’s character in “Wayne’s World,” correcting people when they say “champagne” instead of "sparkling white wine."
"Huda then brings in the expert in all things vagina, Dr. Doris Day"
Ha!
Althouse misses the cultural perspective of the author: as a good muslim, she believes friction darkens the labia, which is the part of the body actually under discussion.
Thus if you are a woman with darker labia, you are likely either sexually active or using a mechanical device to stimulate yourself, which might not be the most welcome news to your muslim hubby, so... lighten up.
Yes, it makes as much sense as Victorian women having to take up horseback riding to explain their ruptured hymens, but hey, let's remember that one culture is just as valid, just as good, just as wonderful as the next. At least this article didn't take up government keeping maxi-pads from deserving welfare addicts.
But who would care about the color of body parts that are not looked at?
Where is Laslo when you need him?
Some old apropos Laslo:
Again: depends on how successful the surgery was.
http://iamlaslo.blogspot.com/2015/03/again-depends-on-how-successful-surgery.html
I have seen your vagina. Countless times. I could faithfully draw it from memory.
http://iamlaslo.blogspot.com/2014/11/cinnamon-girl-one-note-solo.html
Hillary, I hate it when your vagina tastes like vodka and ass..
http://iamlaslo.blogspot.com/2015/07/can-i-at-least-get-towel.html
All you ladies can observe and report from their own experience. In fact, for privacy with candid responses, the good professor could have a poll with a series of questions for ladies only.
You all would be the best judges of your own, er, complexions over time. Go on, fetch mirrors; we can wait.
All cats are gray in the dark. When the lights are on, that's a cat of a different color.
Blogger Earnest Prole said...
Pretending everyone doesn't understand the blogger is talking about the vulva when she uses the word vagina? Althouse just became Rob Lowe’s character in “Wayne’s World,” correcting people when they say “champagne” instead of "sparkling white wine."
EP, how long have you been here? Althouse will go to the stake on this one, of old. So she is at least consistent in doing whatever it is that she is doing. It does make it interesting if you want to go to the mattresses with her, so bring it, sure. We can use a show; I like to see you engaged instead of feigning to be slumming. Make her agree with you! You can do it!
"And the angel of the Lord appeared to the Israelite maidens, for the Lord had heard their cries of despair over the darkness of their nether regions. And the angel of the Lord spake unto them these words:
Oh, ye maidens of Israel & Judea, fear not, for since ye have walked righteously in the path of the Lord, He has heard thy plaint, & I bear thee good tidings. For already before thee has the Lord set the answer in the wisdom He gave to thy forefathers. Behold, does the Psalmist not say:
Bleach me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Therein, oh ye daughters of Zion, lies thy comfort and solace. Go now in peace & make it so."
Here endeth the Lesson
Had my first colonoscopy a couple of months ago. I declined the sedation, in part so I could watch (and remember) the video. My colon wasn't very dark. Not even blood-pink or reddish, which I expected. More like beigey-pink (white person flesh color).
So I guess I have a socially desirable colon color! Just think how much I'll save on colon bleach.
Can't wait to see Kim Kardsahian's colon on Instragram and so I can compare.
I really don't understand why this has become a "thing". Too much porn, too much self absorption?
Gentlemen, have you ever been with a woman, and decided she was unattractive because her nether region wasn't the color of a fresh ream of copy paper?
It seems it is supposedly feminist women and women's magazines, which are all lefty, who are obsessed with telling women about the the unsuitability of normal adult woman's genitals. The waxing, the steaming, the herbal treatments, the bedazzling, holding a marble egg up inside, and now bleaching.
"I have a dream-- that one day my children will live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their vaginas, but by the content of their character"
A woman's vagina will grow darker (redder) as she becomes more aroused, and finally as she reaches and achieves orgasm. If the vaginal tissue is already dark, this effect is not as pronounced. As a man who gets quite the thrill out of watching this process unfold (giggety), I prefer women with lighter colored vaginas. This does not mean that I wouldn't date a woman whose vagina was darker - but all else being equal, I'd choose the one with the lighter color 100% of the time.
Nipples and lips do the same thing. The upper chest area does too but this effect is inconsistent, I've found. When I was young, I learned to pay more attention to (aside from the noises and vocalizations of my partner) the more obvious erogenous zones. These tend not to lie.
Ewwwww.
-sw
Vaginas are like mood rings.
Codes:
Amber: Nervous, unhappy, cool.
Green: Average, calm.
Blue: Emotions are charged, active, relaxed.
Violet: Passionate, excited, very happy.
Black: Tense, nervous
Gray: Strained, anxious
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