I'm glad to see the NYT covering this story and making it clear that the contestant Benjamin Glaze did not somehow, behind the scenes, agree in advance to be subjected to a scripted, faux-unwanted kiss. Glaze had never been kissed, but Perry invited him to give her a kiss on the cheek, and as he meekly complied, she rotated her head and gave him a smacking kiss on the lips:
”I was a tad bit uncomfortable,” Mr. Glaze said by phone this week, after the incident aired on the season premiere. His first kiss was a rite of passage he had been putting off with consideration. “I wanted to save it for my first relationship,” he said. “I wanted it to be special.”Well, she did ask him, but only, apparently, for a cheek kiss, which he, pressured, offered. He's using "kiss" there to mean a kiss on the lips — a sexy and not merely social kiss.
“Would I have done it if she said, ‘Would you kiss me?’ No, I would have said no,” he said.
“I know a lot of guys would be like, ‘Heck yeah!’ But for me, I was raised in a conservative family and I was uncomfortable immediately. I wanted my first kiss to be special.”...He clearly stated a principle that deserved respect and that, I would think, gives respect to women, the kind of respect #MeToo proponents would seem to want.
After he entered the studio, guitar slung over his shoulder and looking a bit star struck, he said he enjoyed his work as a cashier because it let him meet “cute girls.”
“Have you kissed a girl and liked it?” asked [judge Luke] Bryan, making a coy reference to Ms. Perry’s first hit single, “I Kissed A Girl.” Mr. Glaze said that he had not. “I have never been in a relationship and I can’t kiss a girl without being in a relationship.”
At that, Ms. Perry stood up. “Come here,” she said to Mr. Glaze. “Come here right now.”But he does not have a relationship with Katy Perry, so she is ordering/tempting him to betray his own principle. She has power to make a decision he wants, so right before our eyes, we're seeing something like the Harvey Weinstein situation. If you don't like it, why don't you just leave? Glaze's response is something like the way many women reacted to Harvey: play along a little to humor him, and maintain your dignity by not giving too much:
Ms. Perry motioned for him to come over to the judges’ table and stuck her face toward him. “One on the cheek?” he said and she smiled. He quickly touched his face to her cheek. She asked for another kiss, complaining that he hadn’t even made the “smush sound.” As he moved toward her cheek again, Ms. Perry swung her face toward him and kissed him quickly on the lips. “Katy!” he yelled, as he stumbled backward. “You didn’t!” Ms. Perry raised her arms in victory.Watch the video and compare the exultant Katy Perry and the instigating Luke Bryan to Lionel Ritchie. Ritchie tries to buck up Glaze. "That's a major deal... You're first kiss was Katy Perry." That, of course, stomps on Glaze's principle: He wanted his first kiss to be someone he knew and cared about. Talking to the NYT, months after the incident (which was recorded in October), Glaze describes needing to go through a process of rationalization: It doesn't really count as his first kiss, because "It was lip contact versus a romantic situation with someone you care about." It depends on what the meaning of "kiss" is.
Mr. Glaze then asked for a drink of water, delivered a lackluster audition and was kindly rejected by the judges.
Ritchie seems to be aware of the moral transgression, and he eventually asks, sort of comically, "What has this show turned into?" Was he trying to connect with viewers who might disapprove — such as those who don't accept a double standard in sexual assault, those who believe in romantic love, sexual conservatives, and those who are rigorous about coercion and true consent? I don't know, but "American Idol" chooses what footage to include in the final edit, and they must have liked this. I'm sure they have their lawyers, and I'm guessing, now that I think about it, that they got full, explicit consent from Glaze before airing this clip. But that doesn't explain why they thought we would like it, and why — in #MeToo times — they'd promote their big star judge Katy Perry like this. How could they think we'd just love this and not feel that this decent young man had been violated?
He said he does not feel he was sexually harassed and is grateful to Ms. Perry for tweeting about him.Did he sign an agreement not to disparage the show?
ADDED: In "I Kissed a Girl" — "I kissed a girl and I liked it" — does Katy Perry ever address the question whether the girl liked it (or consented)? This question occurred to me and I studied the lyrics. Excerpts:
I got so brave, drink in handSo she's drinking and somewhat out of control and forms a desire to "try on" another person. The girl is dehumanized. "Try you on" ≈ trying on a costume.
Lost my discretion
It's not what I'm used to
Just want to try you on...
No, I don't even know your nameI genuinely don't know whether "game" refers to trickery or a hunter's prey. In either case, the girl is dehumanized.
It doesn't matter
You're my experimental game...
Us girls, we are so magicalI know the innocence under direct discussion is experimentation with homosexuality, and this was a big subject when the song came out 10 years ago — e.g., Slant Magazine said the song "isn't problematic because it promotes homosexuality, but because its appropriation of the gay lifestyle exists for the sole purpose of garnering attention — both from Perry's boyfriend and her audience." (Garnering.)
Soft skin, red lips, so kissable
Hard to resist so touchable
Too good to deny it
Ain't no big deal, it's innocent
But it's 2018 now, and the song is being used to generate excitement about Katy Perry as an "American Idol" judge, and I want to talk about the lyrics in 2018 terms, where the issue is the recognition and rejection of nonconsensual sex. In this new context, enthusing about the difficulty of resisting the magical kissability of women's lips is exactly like Donald Trump in his notorious "Access Hollywood" remarks: I'm automatically attracted to beautiful—I just start kissing them. It's like a magnet. Just kiss. I don't even wait.
पोस्ट्स
९६ टिप्पण्या:
Sexual remarks among on-air hosts are taken as performance and exempt.
Which is how the weather girl segment gets to be a place of male banter on the air.
Relax. Guys don’t lose their shit over stuff like this.
Women and kids can be foolish. We can’t have men being fools, too
Being me, the main thing I get out of this is that we need to stamp out the usage of "tad bit".
One may be or have "a bit" of something. Or "a tad".
There is no more "tad bit" than "rate of speed", you savages.
London - Actress Vanessa Redgrave, 30, stunned a packed theater here by ripping away the opt of her stage costume and dancing around half-naked.
Movie camera rolled, recording Miss Redgrave's dance and the embarrassed reactions of the richly-dressed audience - all paid film extras who had no previous hint of what would happen.
It happened Wednesday as one scene in her new picture "Isadora"...
Description here would have to be careful. The movie Isadora is a "real" movie, not a faked one, except for one bit in it which is not genuine cinema, having been produced by a real set producing not scripted response but the real thing. Indeed, a further twist can occur : it has been argued by poker players that the best bluff is an unintentional one, that is, an individual's playing conduct following upon his misidentifying his own holdings. Here, again, is straight activity which functions in the scene as a bluff.
Goffman _Frame Analysis_ p.122-123
This aw shucks Nonsense is bullshit.
This guys Schtick. Good luck with it. Katy Perry was a @good conservatuve@ too when she was young
Katy Perry is a celebrity, Althouse!
She could grab him by the pussy.
The rule in the 70s was that a kiss in a performance is taken as acted and not real, "not felt."
Intercourse however was taken as real and not acted.
I don't know what the rule is today. I think it can be either.
When I saw this Katy Perry kiss on "American Idol," I said, "He should sue her.
Written like a true lawyer.
I know almost nothing about Katy Perry, but my impression of her isn't helped by this or that apparently one of the Nuns who were suing her dropped dead in court.
"Written like a true lawyer."
More like a true feminist.
Do the lyrics of "I Kissed a Girl" — "I kissed a girl and I liked it" — ever talk about whether the girl liked it?
On the cheek was the deal for the first kiss. There was no deal for the second kiss. Plus he leaned in for it. That’s the Katy Perry defense.
Well, America dodged a bullet in that it was Katy Perry & not Stormy Daniels:
"I was hoping to save my first hum job with prostate massage for someone who truly loved me. Now, that hope is forever dashed & I'm a poorer man for it. I also really wish that didn't just happen in front of the whole world. Especially my grandparents!"
Chuck said...
"Katy Perry is a celebrity, Althouse!
She could grab him by the pussy."
Okay. Show us on the doll where Trump grabbed you by the pussy, Chuck.
The kiss is kosher. The short blonde dyed hair - is absolutely not.
Do the lyrics of "I Kissed a Girl" — "I kissed a girl and I liked it" — ever talk about whether the girl liked it?
The other girl? No.
Do the lyrics of Help Me Rhonda ever ask if Rhonda needed help, too?
Written like a true lawyer."
More like a true feminist.
That too.
I hope they paid him a lot to use the footage. But the mentality of wanting to be (much less sing) on national TV is alien to me.
Ralph L,
That’s the tell or giveaway. This isn’t American Bandstand in 1964.
This guy knows what he’s doing. He’s selling his virginity and virtue just like Britney did 20 years ago. It’s an interesting ploy. Ladies can’t get way with this bullshit anymore.
And no guy can either.
Everyone who's downplaying this must remember: Both Russell Brand and John Mayer have been in that mouth.
Now, still think it is cute? I'm surprised his face didn't just melt off like the Nazi on Raiders of the Lost Ark. Her mouth is the very definition of toxic femininity.
That's Katy Perry? Good God! In the Star-Spangled-Banner video I thought she was Miley Cyrus.
"In a #MeToo world, this must be called sexual assault:"
Let us hope that such a world never comes to pass.
"Do the lyrics of Help Me Rhonda ever ask if Rhonda needed help, too?"
Now, that's laugh-out-loud funny...
BUT...
Katy Perry could have sung about asking a girl for a kiss. But she seems to have just taken the kiss. So it would be a better analogy if the Beach Boys had sung, "I'm Holding Rhonda in Involuntary Servitude."
Do the lyrics of Help Me Rhonda ever ask if Rhonda needed help, too?
The Beach Boys actuall did do a "Let me help you, Rhonda" version live every now and then.
Here's a studio version
Getting kissed by someone wearing five pounds of makeup would upset any self-respecting male and it was a Mama's closed-mouth smooch to boot.
Oh come on. The paraphrase of Perry's "Kissed a Girl" line that came out of the blue from country looking guy on the right should have clued everyone in that it was all part of the act.
He said he does not feel he was sexually harassed and is grateful to Ms. Perry for tweeting about him.
Did he sign an agreement not to disparage the show?
The kid is no fool. Nondisparagement agreement or not, he knows the power that "the show" and someone like Katie Perry can wield in advancing or restraining his career. He needed to make nice and he did.
Sometimes outrage is not the best reaction. Unless you are peer pressured into outrage.
He's absolutely entitled to his feelings in this current environment. Perry should be roasted according to the rules #MeTooHypocrisy. That said it was kind of sweet. And there's always first anal.
But she seems to have just taken the kiss
The song is inconclusive about the prequel to the kiss. Some contemplation of consequences, a beverage, the application of flavored lip balm is all we know for certain.
The thing that sorta bugged me about I Kissed a Girl is the implied intoxication involved (“drink in hand, lost my discretion”).
I think it’s implied that the kids was consensual (“us girls”) because the narrator is concerned about what her boyfriend might think.
Of course, the narrator could be a 16 year old sociopath
Oh come on. The paraphrase of Perry's "Kissed a Girl" line that came out of the blue from country looking guy on the right should have clued everyone in that it was all part of the act.
I'm sure the producers have done a lot of background work on a number of the contestants so that the judges can be prepared. In this case, Perry may have known (from a questionnaire?) that he'd never been kissed and the judges had decided to play off of that. But, that doesn't mean the contestant was 'in on it'. For such a set up to work, the contestant would either have to be a very good actor or you'd need to take him by surprise. Since the vast majority of the public are neither good singers nor good actors, it just doesn't make sense for the producers to let contestants know in advance of anything 'special' they have planned for them.
I Wanna Hold Your Hand should be okay.
“Kiss was consensual” not “kids”
Call me old-school but I remember, around 10 years ago, after asking her may I kiss you? and she said yes please do, I kissed a blogger. And I liked it.
I don't remember her saying that she liked it. But she did reportedly tell the NYT that she enjoyed it when someone driving by yelled "Get a room!"
So sue me. I'm easy. I'll settle.
Please Please Me not so much.
"I'm Holding Rhonda in Involuntary Servitude" -- As they used to say on American Bandstand, I'd dance to it, but I wouldn't buy it.
As for Katy Perry and the producers, their tone deafness is remarkable. It's almost as if they live in a narcissistic bubble.
Sometimes in the pursuit of your dreams you have to put up with indignities. A meaningless peck on the lips -- he will come to view it as this, in time -- is pretty low down on the list of things to be concerned about.
I found it hard to believe he's never been kissed by his parents/aunts/grandparents, etc.
I don't remember her saying that she liked it. But she did reportedly tell the NYT that she enjoyed it when someone driving by yelled "Get a room!"
This is just TMI.
At least when he contracts herpes he can brag that he got it from Katy Perry.
Katey Perry was a big mistake.
Is is just the first of many. This edition is a train wreck.
LLR, Lefty Narrative Booster and Failed Biology Student Chuck: "Katy Perry is a celebrity, Althouse! She could grab him by the pussy."
Requires no additional comment.
She looks like a hooker.
Popping his cherry is a fe-male trophy
Kevin said...
Everyone who's downplaying this must remember: Both Russell Brand and John Mayer have been in that mouth.
Ugh, I hadn't realized that. A veterinarian told me that most of the germs die in a few minutes, but that was dog germs in a dog mouth and they're not as bad.
Maybe he wanted to be molested by the older, cuter version of Katy Perry with long hair and less SJW preening, not new, butch-hair, unfun Katy Perry?
Or maybe that's just me.
Baby, you're a firework.
or perhaps
You're so gay, and you don't even like boys!
She humiliated him.
People dismiss when boys are molested by older women, but the part they miss is that the difference between a fantasy and a violation is that a fantasy is when the other person is about what you desire & a violation is when you're about what the other person desires.
A 19-year old male, who's never kissed a girl?!!?
Puh-leeze
This is the problem ab initio.
No 7th Grade camping spin the bottle games?
No snapping the bra straps?
This is a poor development for American youth.
I hope Mr. Glaze is the exception, not the rule.
Ms. Perry was doing him a favor.
Finally got around to watching the clip. Totally scripted. He was in on every bit of it. Did the segment producer pressure him to agree to the shtick? Maybe, and if so, that's a little Harvey Weinsteinish. But I have precious little sympathy for him.
walter,
"She looks like a hooker who can't get any clients"
FIFY.
The kid has to learn.
You never kiss a whore.
Just drop your load and go.
Heterosexuals have so destroyed this world that we should give homosexuals a crack at it. I didn't mean "crack" as in vagina; I meant as in crack cocaine.
If I were the kissee, I wouldn't complain if she let me fondle her boobs during the kiss.
Equal and complementary, not transgendered (e.g. homosexual, bisexual). Guys will generally welcome a kiss from an attractive women, and tolerate it from other women, are unlikely to exploit a moment of social awkwardness for political or monetary leverage, and will ignore progressively corrupt (PC) social protocols if and when necessary.
This is like the many stories we see of teachers sexually abusing their male students.
It is the difference in power not age.
Feminist Bullshit 101.
We have to make them live up to their own rules.
The kiss is kosher. The short blonde dyed hair - is absolutely not.
Completely agree. No straight male would admit to a serious objection to being kissed by a Katy Perry who looked like Katy used to look with long, dark hair.
Not saying she looks bad as a blonde...just that she used to look so much better.
An Englishwoman, and Irishwoman and a Scotswoman were walking by the seaside at low tide when they spotted a young man in a wheelchair stuck in the sand.
The Englishwoman felt sorry for him and said, "Oh you poor dear. All alone and stuck out here with no one to help. Tell me, have you ever been hugged by a woman?" He shook his head and she leaned over to give him a hug.
Not to be outdone the Irishwoman asked him, "Have you every been kissed by a woman?" He again shook his head, and she leaned over to give him a kiss.
It was the Scotswoman's turn. She asked, "Aye, lad, have you ever been fooked?" He nervously shook his head, to which she replied, "Well you will be when the tide comes in."
Ms. Perry exceeded the consent, imposing an unauthorized a kiss on his lips, warranting that young Mr. Glaze, respond in kind
#MeToo? Perhaps. In light of social progress, the parameters to establish equivalent behaviors need to be further evaluated. We know that men and women are equal and complementary. So, a kiss on the lips and fondling a breast may not be the right place to begin reconciliation.
@William Chadwick,
"If I were the kissee, I wouldn't complain if she let me fondle her boobs during the kiss."
I think you're on to something here, perhaps a step towards restoring harmony in the universe.
If the 19-year old man had never been kissed, then likely he had never touched a boob, either.
So, he arguably consented to a kiss on the cheek, but Ms. Perry exceeded said consent, imposing an unauthorized kiss on his lips, without giving notice or consent. This would warrant young Mr. Glaze to respond in kind, with a right-hand move to the left breast of Ms. Perry - to last not more than 1.5 seconds -- as an appropriate compensatory reaction.
I think any fair-minded judicial arbitrator would accept this resolution.
Relax. Guys don’t lose their shit over stuff like this.
Women and kids can be foolish. We can’t have men being fools, too
Disagree. We need to illustrate how stupid #metoo and "inclusion riders" and this faddish Politically Correct nonsense has gone before it will stop.
I know that's the conventional wisdom take on this but it's correct. I worry that we haven't taken it far enough - Hollywood has tried to co-opt it. We need to reclaim it.
Is this the same Katy Perry who sued a pair elderly nuns to acquire their property? Sued them to the point where one collapsed and died on the witness stand? Why yes, yes it is.
I'd use my knuckles to "kiss" a piece of trash like that, and I'm not Catholic.
when you're a star they let you do it.
CJ
Let’s not get in the way of these fools destroying themselves. But I’m all for stoking the embers if you think they’re at risk of going out.
Watching the Far Left eat the Old Left is the best part of The Age of Trump
Can’t wait for the Socialists to turn against Universities next.
Big Mike, the nuns wanted to sell it to someone to turn it into a boutique hotel ... so moral of them (daily fornication is holier than Katy Perry?).
Too bad for them the Archdiocese has the ownership and thus their sale was voided.
But yeah, its Katy's fault they tried to sell it illegally to someone else after she made the initial offer.
Thats a pretty weak complaint.
I enjoyed American Idol years ago, so I dialed up the first episode on Hulu. I watched about five minutes, said this is not for me, and switched to something else.
Now that I've read this blog post, I see I really made the right decision.
“I'd use my knuckles to "kiss" a piece of trash like that, and I'm not Catholic.”
Violent asshole.
Taylor Swift is a heroine for successfully countersuing that man who (allegedly, I guess) groped her butt.
Katy Perry is a heroine for successfully violating a man's stated sexual boundaries (in front of an audience).
Whatever women do is empowering & praiseworthy. That's the rule. Easy.
@Mark, in that case why was Perry harassing the nuns in court?
I'm so old I remember when Katy Perry was hot.
I'm still having problems with the short, dyed-blonde near crew cut of Ms. Perry.
It reminds me not of a sexy Hollywood female pop star, but of my 6th Grade gym teacher, Mr. Frey.
Leftiats: I totally believe in evolution.
Leftists: I want to remake human sexuality to reflect current values.
Me: Please prioritize.
“Sometimes outrage is not the best reaction. Unless you are peer pressured into outrage.”
Of course! But that’s part of the problem of sexual harassment. People see it’s against their interest to object. It is often endured and ignored because the person doing it holds power over you. I address that in the post.
What makes feminists think their answers to these questions are the correct ones? Surely if their answers provided long-term benefits to the species they would appear in societies across time.
Dame Althouse de La Mancha.
Whatever this guy does, he has to wait 32 years to do it. That's today's gold standard.
The kid looks like he just listened to "The Lemon Song".
Blogger HoodlumDoodlum said...
Taylor Swift is a heroine for successfully countersuing that man who (allegedly, I guess) groped her butt.
You don't have to say "allegedly" when it's res judicata - a court determined that he in fact did grab her butt. Since he's not appealing the ruling, it's done.
"He should sue her."
He should have motor boated her...and then feigned ignorance. "That's what I thought you meant!"
Give her the (alleged) full Cuban.
At 3pm JaimeRoberto said...
An Englishwoman, and Irishwoman and a Scotswoman were walking at low tide,...
Tough day at the office today - Thanks for a great belly laugh!
It's like the SNL skit. If a cute guy hits on a girl, then it's not sexual harassment. If a girl hits on a guy, then it's not sexual harassment. Sex differences.
Whatever this guy does, he has to wait 32 years to do it. That's today's gold standard.
The #MeToo waiting period, which may be shortened for political convenience... Yet another PC.
To judge this sorta thing folks should think about a homo being in the Catty P position.
Would it be cool for a total flamer to do this to this boy?
OTOH, that may help the wee little fella w/ what could be a self-imposed closet cloister calamity. So, could be good for the lad.
OTOOH, even post-18 years old, the Milo logic = sick. So, put me down as joining the anti-Katness. I only like mocking in the turtle form.
@Mark - As I understand it, the nuns say the property was left to their order, and the diosese doesn't own it, but tried to sell it out from under them. Wouldn't surprise me really. When she found out the story, she should have just let it go. She can afford any property she wants.
When she found out the story, she should have just let it go. She can afford any property she wants.
@Ctmom4, spoiled brats want what they want, when they want it.
"When she found out the story, she should have just let it go."
Perry had purchased the property for $14.5 million.
That's a lot of letting go.
Bad conduct against Perry and the Archdiocese by the woman plotting with the nuns led to a punitive damages award against her of $10 million (with most of it awarded to the Archdiocese).
Bottom line, Hollywood sucks.
Thanks JaimeRoberto!
Otherwise, why waste your sympathy on anyone foolish enough to sign up for the entertainment business, especially the reality competition type. Of course they are going to be exploited.
Really makes me appreciate people like Conchita Wurst, who know it's bullshit and then pull off a world class prank like winning the Eurovision contest. With, I might point out, a dynamite performance.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToqNa0rqUtY
She’s got a terrible look going these days.
Ughs all around.
Once that girl only wanted to sing about God and how much she loved him. I hope she's happy with the life she chose.
If life was like a horror movie, she would have kissed him & then stabbed him in the brain with a knife or stuck her demon toungue through the back of his neck.
Maybe he thought would happen.
Bangs mean business!
When you consent to be presented on television, or be part of an entertainment industry, perhaps one should observe what happens on such shows before deciding to be part of it.
Having said that, perhaps the hashTagMeToo ‘thing’ is actually just part of the military entertainment industry?
Was he never kissed by his mom?
Ah, to remember when Katy Perry was a champion of decency! News item, 6/8/10:
Lady Gaga’s long awaited ‘Alejandro’ video came out Tuesday, and at least one person is not impressed.
Katy Perry took to Twitter to air her issues with Gaga’s use of Madonnaesque use of Catholic imagery:
"Using blasphemy as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke."
‘Alejandro’ features Gaga dressed in a latex nun’s habit, sucking on rosary beads and at the center of a gay orgy dressed in a crucifix-emblazoned robe with a cross over her crotch.
The teaser for Katy Perry’s ‘California Gurls’ video, in which frosting shoots from her breasts, was also released Tuesday.
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