२७ नोव्हेंबर, २०१४

"Too much makeup... led to millionaire’s restraining order."

I read this entire article trying to understand a headline I misread. Somehow the word I didn't see — which belongs at the ellipsis — is "sex." The topic of too much makeup interests me, so I see those 3 words together, and they make a set.

Maybe others look at that headline — "Too much makeup sex led to millionaire’s restraining order" — and go right to the word "sex," then group it with "makeup," and immediately realize the makeup is not mascara and lipstick and so forth but the relationship stage, and perhaps the subject of "makeup sex" seems compelling. To me, it's one of those old Seinfeld memes.
Jerry: Well, at least you probably had some, uh, pretty good make-up sex afterwards.

George: I didn't have any sex.

Jerry: You didn't have make-up sex? How could you not have make-up sex? That's the best feature of the heavy relationship.

George: I missed out on the make-up sex.

Jerry: In your situation the only sex you're going to have better than make-up sex is if you're sent to prison and you have a conjugal visit.


By the way, I love the title of that YouTube: "Sexo de reconciliacion."

I'm still interested in the fantastic scenario in which a woman's wearing too much makeup led to a millionaire — a man, one presumes — getting a restraining order. What exactly would have had to happen? But it didn't happen, so it's absurd to... make up that story.

१५ टिप्पण्या:

sojerofgod म्हणाले...

Never much cared for makeup.
Have you ever kissed a woman wearing lipstick? That stuff tastes terrible!
I prefer my woman with the bark on.

(Ok, that's enough joke fodder for the next few hours...)

Meade म्हणाले...

And then there's ketchup sex... a misreading of "catch up sex."

Too much ketchup sex led to millionaire’s restraining order.

Probably because of the high failure rate of condiments.

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

Nice verbal hijinks there, Meade, and I didn't know "catch-up sex" was a thing, but I see it's in Urban Dictionary:

---------------quote---------------------------

Sexual intercourse engaged in to make up for having missed opportunities for sex. The missed sex could be due to your partner traveling, or being too busy, or having a fight. This is different than make-up sex. With make-up sex there is one sex act which accomplishes the goal. With catch-up sex you have to compensate for all the sex you missed having.

Wife: That was really good sex.
Husband: Yes, but we'll need to do it again in 2 hours.
Wife: Why on earth?
Husband. We were mad at each other for a week. We would have had sex 5 times in that week. We have four more to go.
Wife: Oh yeah, catch-up sex.

Joe: Hey want to go to the driving range tomorrow?
John: No, I can't. I have to stay home with my wife all weekend.
Joe: Honey-do list?
John: Sort of. I was out of town for two weeks straight, tomorrow is dedicated to catch-up sex. I have to honey-do her a lot.

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

"Have you ever kissed a woman wearing lipstick?"

I've kissed a man wearing lipstick.

Laslo Spatula म्हणाले...

I would pretend to be angry at Taylor Swift just to have the make-up sex. I'd be angry at her being so, so naughty: she has been a naughty girl. So, I guess: make-up spanking, then make-up sex.

Laslo Spatula म्हणाले...

If she REALLY wanted to make it up to me, she'd invite Scarlett Johansson to help.

Gahrie म्हणाले...

I really miss Sir Archy

David म्हणाले...

What happens when good looks meet money, and it turns out those are their only assets.

Scott म्हणाले...

"A woman who doesn't wear lipstick feels undressed in public. Unless she works on a farm."

--Max Factor

traditionalguy म्हणाले...

A wise judge will issue a Self Restraint Order.

Ignorance is Bliss म्हणाले...

I can certainly understand your misreading. I makes perfect sense to group Too much with makeup. I makes absolutely no sense to group Too much with sex.

Drago म्हणाले...

Ann Althouse: "Nice verbal hijinks there, Meade, and I didn't know "catch-up sex" was a thing,..."

Come on down to the Pier when a Navy Carrier pulls back in after a 6 to 9 month cruise.

The sheer volume of couple interactions ranging from those who can't even wait to get to the car to start to heartbreaking situations (such as a woman walking up to a sailor and handing a baby and divorce papers to that sailor and then walking off) is really hard to describe.

Erich म्हणाले...

Mike Nesmith's Television Parts had a short bit with Jerry Seinfeld playing a film noir private eye type who, while sitting behind his desk reading the paper, delivers the following line to the femme fatale who enters:

"Excuse me, miss. I believe you're in the wrong office. The auditions for rodeo clown are down the hall."

cubanbob म्हणाले...

It appears that the rich really are different. Can't imagine an ordinary fifty year-old Average Joe filing a restraining order against his attractive twenty eight year old girlfriend on the grounds of too much make-up sex.

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

If you read the article, you'll see the sex per se wasn't the problem.