२० ऑगस्ट, २०१४

"My husband's transition forced me to make emotional and sexual transitions of my own. As his breasts developed..."

"... I didn't want to touch my partner's chest anymore and the female hormones destroyed his libido.... The sexual side of our relationship faded.... While sex was a major part of our early relationship, we now rely on deeper forms of intimacy. We connect through deep discussions, mutual discovery and respect, caring and generosity. We focus on non-sexual ways of expressing love - cuddling, gentle caresses, holding hands. These interactions became more critical to our relationship than frequent sexual expression."

From "I’m a straight woman married to a woman. It hasn’t been easy. My husband became a woman and our marriage is stronger than ever." The author, Leslie Hilburn Fabian, is a social worker/psychotherapist. She reveals in the first paragraph that when she met the man she married, he was wearing makeup and a dress and it was at a "a gathering" — is that a party or something else? — hosted by an "expert on transgenderism." Those facts make this case quite different from a situation where someone is completely blindsided by her spouse and had previously shown no interest in the transgender movement.

४१ टिप्पण्या:

Unknown म्हणाले...

"the female hormones destroyed his libido ..."

Imagine that.

Martha म्हणाले...

TMI

dbp म्हणाले...

If my wife decided to become a man, I would decide to become, divorced.

gerry म्हणाले...

Interestingly, Johns Hopkins, the pioneer in gender reassignment surgery and therapy, discontinued the program when its own psychiatric department presented a report that followed up on a couple of decades of work. It turns out most patients revealed that the conversion had not helped and in many cases aggravated their well-being, worsening their lives.

In twenty years, the 1990-2010 era will be viewed as a time of incredibly goofy sexuality ignorance.

MathMom म्हणाले...

I think John Lithgow made the transition better.

MadisonMan म्हणाले...

What Martha said. I do not care to read about the relationship between any two adults, and this one is no different.

I wish them good luck in their move to Louisiana.

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

"I wish them good luck in their move to Louisiana."

Why are they moving to Louisiana (from Massachusetts)? That was another thing in the article that made me feel that I was reading about movement activists, not ordinary people struck by strange and challenging events.

Birkel म्हणाले...

dbp:
I would challenge you to race me to the courthouse.
There are some problems no amount of love can overcome.

Martha:
The only reason I disagree, if only slightly, is that one must see clearly the way the world is. Hearing one of these tales seems important to fully understand how others see the world. But I understand the impulse not to want to stare into an abyss.

Wince म्हणाले...

"As his breasts developed..."

Why are they moving to Louisiana (from Massachusetts)?
"

"If I had boobs like that, I'd never leave the house"

...except to get a mirror, to look at my boobs.

Magson म्हणाले...

One of my firends had something similar happen, though he was extremely emotionally abusive to her -- pretty much had this idea in his head of how he wanted to be and tried to force her into being it. As a result, a divorce ws in the cards long before he started transforming into "Jessica." But yeah, they're divorced.

He's still straight, so he's now w lesbian, I suppose. And she's remarried to someone who treats her very well, so everyone's happy.

SGT Ted म्हणाले...

It's called "co-dependence".

MayBee म्हणाले...

That was another thing in the article that made me feel that I was reading about movement activists, not ordinary people struck by strange and challenging events.

I agree. Either activists or drama seekers.
I feel comfortable saying there are more people who seek drama and conflict in their lives than there are people born into the wrong gender.

AustinRoth म्हणाले...

Transgender surgery is tattooing for the sexually confused.

Seems like a good idea at the time, but many come to regret that decision.

Unknown म्हणाले...

David Fabian's shoes were definitely bi-curious.

NorthOfTheOneOhOne म्हणाले...

Ann Althouse said...

Why are they moving to Louisiana (from Massachusetts)? That was another thing in the article that made me feel that I was reading about movement activists, not ordinary people struck by strange and challenging events.

I suspect it's so they can get divorced and force the same sex marriage issue. I read something like this recently; a married lesbian couple from Massachusetts that had relocated to Mississippi and were seeking a divorce. There was a lot of hemming and hawing about why they'd moved to so Podunk town in the bible belt, but plenty of outrage that Mississippi law didn't cover same sex divorces..

Freeman Hunt म्हणाले...

In local news, this happened this morning.

Heartless Aztec म्हणाले...

Why are they moving to Louisiana (from Massachusetts)?"

New Orleans is a lot more permissive than Boston when it comes to that kind of thing. They've had centuries of practice not to mention the underlying fabric of France within that specific Southern society. The people of New Orleans are much more liberal (politics non-withstanding) and any enclave of priggish Yankees descended from Puritans in the Northeast. But I generalize. My question is what does she do when she needs that one night of drunk monkey sex that is innate in all human beings?

Freeman Hunt म्हणाले...

So she already was into the gender bending thing, and therefore the piece is pointless.

Michael K म्हणाले...

Another point about Johns Hopkins in this matter is that they had a large number of patients asking to reverse the gender reassignment. They changed their minds, such as they were.

DanTheMan म्हणाले...

>> not ordinary people struck by strange and challenging events.

AA, in what possible sense are these *ordinary* people? She met "him" at gathering where he was wearing makeup and a dress.
I think that puts him about six sigmas from the mean...

Greg Hlatky म्हणाले...

She's not a straight woman married to a woman, she's a straight woman married to a man with a mental problem.

XY chromosomes? You're a man, period. No amount of puffing, snorting, chemical adulteration or genital mutilation is going to change that.

Scott M म्हणाले...

Only in a society as affluent as this one...

The Cracker Emcee Refulgent म्हणाले...

Trapped not by love, but by the obsessive need to signal her ideology to other true believers. That must be it's own kind of addict's Hell.

MadisonMan म्हणाले...

Freeman, glad to see that's enacted in Fayetteville. Sad that it's necessary, but glad that it's happened. Would've made my brother happy too.

If I'm renting to someone the only thing I care about is that they pay the rent on time, every month.

Brian म्हणाले...

broomhandle has it.

"At first, I missed the sex. But then I experienced the powerful, intoxicating thrill of Being More Tolerant Than You."

retired म्हणाले...

Troll

HoodlumDoodlum म्हणाले...

At a certain point we're just visitors at a freak show, right? I mean, not to be unkind but these are weirdos talking about their weirdness--how much relevance does any of that have in most people's lives? What's the larger agenda here?

Fernandinande म्हणाले...

gerry said...
It turns out most patients revealed that the conversion had not helped and in many cases aggravated their well-being, worsening their lives.


These aren’t women trapped in a man’s body. They are nuts trapped in a crazy person’s body.

DanTheMan म्हणाले...

HooDoo,
The goal: See Brian's post... Step 1: "I am more understanding and care more than you do."

Step 2: "Therefore, I am a better person than you are".

Step 3, which usually follows is:"Therefore, I have the right to tell you what to do. For your own good, of course."

As to "freak show", there are no more freaks. Deviancy is now defined as just north of cannibalism, but is heading south quickily....

Justin म्हणाले...

The transvestite tag doesn't have a place here. Try to understand this issue a little better and you'll see why.

Freeman Hunt म्हणाले...

MadisonMan, I thought it was interesting that local government officials offered many sanctimonious comments about the importance of the ordinance after exempting themselves from it.

jr565 म्हणाले...

Give people hormones to make their body change is extremely problematic. men for example need testosterone. If you convert it to estrogen it may lead to them growing more feminine features but it will also lead to serious problems for men. Men with low testosterone go on testosterone therapy because having no testosterone makes them weak. And I'd imagine the same is true for women.
Further, giving women estrogen has caused all sorts of medical problems for,women.

अनामित म्हणाले...

Fernandinande, when I clicked on your link a black filter floated down over my screen with a stark white announcement saying sternly that the piece had been reported to their censors for being insensitive and bigoted or something like that. I was able to click it away and read the piece, but what an odd thing to do--not pull the piece, not let it stand and answer it with another editorial, but try to scare people off reading it with a "warning."

When I actually read the piece, it was notable only in two ways. One, that it appeared to be authored by a liberal man who supports gay marriage but finds transsexualism aberrant and disturbing. Two, that his feelings on the subject match those of pretty much every liberal, conservative, and moderate I know. It's just a matter of how much confidentiality they require before they confess it in so many words.

Interesting times...

अनामित म्हणाले...

Alright I read the WaPo story now and I have a curious question for anyone willing to answer...

It says this individual is a surgeon. I looked at the "after" portrait...I want to know, if you needed surgery and that person walked into the room to do it, how would you feel about that?

I admit I would be uncomfortable, for several reasons, primarily the same reason I would be uncomfortable if my surgeon walked in wearing a pirate costume.

Alex म्हणाले...

of course we're supposed to celebrate this.

अनामित म्हणाले...
ही टिप्पणी लेखकाना हलविली आहे.
Anthony म्हणाले...

"I suspect it's so they can get divorced and force the same sex marriage issue."

It won't work. Iowa legalized same-sex divorce well before same-sex marriage.

Bart Hall (Kansas, USA) म्हणाले...

Legally ... "constructive abandonment", which is grounds for divorce in many states.

socally773 म्हणाले...

My male friend. Loved blondes of a female kind. Married a plain Jane. Had two kids. So his conversion had many stages with his wife. I want to dress like a woman but still love you. I want a 'love more than one person' marriage. Where the other person is a man. [so he is a TG gay guy now?] They divorced. He lived with a woman and he became a she. Now she is married to a woman - he ended up a lesbian. So I'm sort of skeptical of the whole thing.

Bob Boyd म्हणाले...

Problems of this nature can be avoided by following a simple rule.
Never go to "a gathering".

jr565 म्हणाले...

"I’m a straight woman married to a woman. It hasn’t been easy. My husband became a woman and our marriage is stronger than ever."
Saying you're straight means you like someone of the opposite gender. ILuckily her man never actually became a woman, he just took hormones to grow breasts. But isn't that confusing?
If I was married to a woman and she decided to be a man and got a penis, I would cease to be in a sexual relationship with her because I don't want to have sex with a guy with a penis.