१८ जानेवारी, २०१३

"I always start with physicality when I’m writing as a woman. So I always have a vagina and think about having periods."

Said Will Self, who has a new novel, "Umbrella," the title of which is based on the Joyce quote "A brother is as easily forgotten as an umbrella."

By the way, the first appearance of the word "umbrella" in English, according to the OED (not linkable), came in 1611:
T. Coryate Crudities sig. Lv,   Many of them doe carry other fine things.., which they commonly call in the Italian tongue vmbrellaes... These are made of leather something answerable to the forme of a little cannopy & hooped in the inside with diuers little wooden hoopes that extend the vmbrella in a prety large compasse.
That predates the first use of "vagina," which was in 1682:
T. Gibson Anat. Humane Bodies 20   It has passages..for the neck of the Bladder, and in Women for the vagina of the Womb.
The etymology of "vagina" is: "Latin vāgīna sheath, scabbard." The etymology of "umbrella" is: "Italian ombrella and ombrello, < ombra < Latin umbra shade."

Here's Perry Como singing "Let a Smile Be Your Umbrella."

Fill in the blank: Let a smile be your umbrella. Let a _________ be your vagina.

४८ टिप्पण्या:

tiger म्हणाले...

Geeze. :)

I have no response except to say:
'Heh'

Hammond X. Gritzkofe म्हणाले...

Taco. Wife made one for breakfast this morning. Silky soft corn tortilla, over easy egg with runny yoke, ground turkey meat, onion, jalapeno.... Hot, spicy, tasty.

Tim म्हणाले...

"Let a smile be your umbrella. Let an assault weapon with a high capacity magazine be your vagina."

Works for me.

Oso Negro म्हणाले...

We can never have too many posts about vaginas.

Shouting Thomas म्हणाले...

Let a whiny complaint be your vagina!

Shouting Thomas म्हणाले...

We can never have too many posts about vaginas.

There are approximately 3.3 billion on this earth. Each equally deserving of government subsidies.

Meade म्हणाले...

I have no response except to say:
'Heh'


Smile when you say that, cowboy.

Chip Ahoy म्हणाले...

Soft taco, right?

AllenS म्हणाले...

Let a smile be your umbrella. Let a wise Latina be your vagina.

Hammond X. Gritzkofe म्हणाले...

Soft taco, right?

Oh yeah!

(Much better than ham 'nd eggs, grits, coffee.)

chickelit म्हणाले...

The etymology of "vagina" is: "Latin vāgīna sheath, scabbard.

The German word for vagina is Scheide which is cognate with sheath.

Scheidefreude is the joy of vagina.

David म्हणाले...

Asshole.

Someone had to say it.

ricpic म्हणाले...

How much is that vagina in the window, arf arf,
The one with the waggly tail?

chickelit म्हणाले...

David said...
Asshole.

Such umbrage!

traditionalguy म्हणाले...

A tight glove sounds the best to me.

Or in some cases, a Honey Badger. The Honey Badger just don't care.

chickelit म्हणाले...

Is a penumbra a hermaphrodite?

Chip Ahoy म्हणाले...

Ha! That's where I stopped. Why click to page 2 when page 1 isn't all that arresting?

I always start with physicality when I’m writing as a woman. So I have these two tits hanging there pendulously and I think, "perk up!" and then I rub an ice cube on them and they do.

bagoh20 म्हणाले...

What is thing of which you speak, this "vagina"?

I should probably learn more. Can anyone advise me in what corner of the Earth I might encounter one which I may examine? I hope to avoid repeating my current embarrassment from being the only one not familiar with this apparently fascinating oddity.

Will I need any special equipment to facilitate my exploration and education? Will supplies be needed, or possibly inoculations? Also what will be required in terms of porters, beasts of burden, or watercraft? It goes without saying that I will need some good stout men and arms for protection. I don't wish to repeat the fiasco I endured when I went in search of the elusive Taint.

Meade म्हणाले...

"A tight glove sounds the best to me."

Sure, unless it doesn't fit. And then you're all like whoa, now I must housesit!

chickelit म्हणाले...

traditionalguy said...
A tight glove sounds the best to me.

Why the preference for digital bifurcation and articulation?

Why not Mitt?

rhhardin म्हणाले...

Gladius, sword, meant penis

jungatheart म्हणाले...

Is that a gun in you pocket, or are you just gladius to see me?

Bob Boyd म्हणाले...

Let a smile be your umbrella. Let tonsils be your vagina.

Chip Ahoy म्हणाले...

bagoh20, it's a thing of great diversity sometimes made of plaster apparently. A thing flaunted by 400 women on the Great Wall of Vaginas. Probably a good place to start one's research, because of variety and not colored in. That would not be a good place to start -- a wall of colored in vaginas. Too overwhelming.

traditionalguy म्हणाले...

Chickelit...I have never tried bifurcation, although articulation at the right moment sounds good.

X म्हणाले...

""I always start with physicality when I’m writing as a woman. So I always have a vagina and think about having periods.""

then you take away reason and accountability and voila!

Known Unknown म्हणाले...

X beat me to the punch.

edutcher म्हणाले...

Let a Lefty mind be your vagina. They're both empty, after all.

rhhardin said...

Gladius, sword, meant penis

I thought penis meant penis. Now I find out it means tail.

Hmmmm....

PS Gladius means sword, but may have been euphemized.

rhhardin म्हणाले...

Sword A wedding in cherokee county.

David म्हणाले...

Think about this:

"If it flies, floats or fucks, lease it."

(Old Marine saying, no longer permitted in polite company.)

Vaginas can bring out the worst in men. Maybe that's the point.

bagoh20 म्हणाले...

I've been told that often there is a landing strip nearby in a place known as the "Mound of Venus". Are there comfortable accommodations there, or will we be forced to rough it in the bush? That's fine with me, I've been practicing my skills at starting a fire with nothing but my bare hands. You'd be amazed at how quickly I can complete the task.

chickelit म्हणाले...

@bagoh20: If you're ever in Wisconsin, be sure to visit the Cave Of The Mounds.

chickelit म्हणाले...

Sheathing with penis-envy

chickelit म्हणाले...

or penis ennui...

bagoh20 म्हणाले...

Cave of the Mounds? Oh no, Chicklit I can't go to a strip bar. I get a funny feeling, like when I climb the rope in gym class. It's scary.

Johanna Lapp म्हणाले...

Smile is to umbrella as vertical smile is to vertical umbrella.

Guimo म्हणाले...

Unless you're in the Orient.

Smilin' Jack म्हणाले...

Fill in the blank: Let a smile be your umbrella. Let a _________ be your vagina.

Rihanna. Actually I'd prefer Ann Hathaway, but that doesn't scan as well.

Crunchy Frog म्हणाले...

Q: How do you write women so well?

A: I start with a man, and I take away reason and accountability.

Crunchy Frog म्हणाले...

Q: How do you write women so well?

A: I start with a man, and I take away reason and accountability.

Thomas म्हणाले...

Let a favor

or book

tiger म्हणाले...

Meade said...
I have no response except to say:
'Heh'

Smile when you say that, cowboy.


Ok, I will:

I have no response except to say:
'Heh' :)

Sydney म्हणाले...

The best portrayal of a woman I have ever read written by a man was Mrs. Bridge. The author did a much better job of portraying her than he did of portraying Mr. Bridge. Didn't like that novel at all. I was surprised to learn the author was a man after I had read the two books.

I don't know what kind of mind frame he used, though. Speaking for myself, as a woman, I rarely consider the vagina. That sounds like something a man would do if he were trying to find something to substitute for his penis in a woman. The breasts fill that role in women more than the vagina.

Methadras म्हणाले...

50 shades of red?

Jose_K म्हणाले...

There is spaniard collection of erotics books called the vertical smile.

अनामित म्हणाले...

Re: "Fill in the blank: Let a smile be your umbrella. Let a _________ be your vagina."

God, this made me flash on Gene Rayburn in the 70's with his skinny pointy microphone on "Match Game". He would always say "blank" for the missing word, then Brett Somers would say "cockenspleil".

RigelDog म्हणाले...

A helping hand

Lem Vibe Bandit म्हणाले...

Let a smile be your umbrella. Let a Naomi Wolf be your vagina.