1. "You’re 13 today! If you had a rich boyfriend he’d give you diamonds and rubies. Well, maybe next year you will — when you’ve bigger boobies!" (Hallmark's excuse is that it was printed in 1998.)
2. This child-drawn card that was topping Reddit yesterday. (I'm not convinced it was really drawn by a child. Are you any good at detecting faked childish writing? I'm looking at the "a" in "balls" and seeing fake.)
११ डिसेंबर, २०१२
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I'd imagine it's among the joke cards and would be given by a girlfriend of the girl.
Girls know about boobies and future boobies.
Writing expertise is not even in the top 100 of my best skills, but I did spend a semester in college deciphering and transcribing an old 19th century journal written by a guy with bad writing, so got used to looking closely at the letter shapes.
Seems like there are two different writers in that "child's" note. The "tell me" stands out as being an adult (notice the different 'e' and 'm'). Compare also the "Replace" with "balls." Two different 'a'. The same 'a' as 'replace' shows up in 'has', so I suspect a bit of either writing in spaces or photoshopping.
Althouse... the place where everyone can try their hand at being an expert at sundry topics! It's like a postmodern version of a tourist gold mining camp, where visitors can pan for gold. Keep what you find!
I suspect this was a child's note that got adapted
The second, if done by a child, reflects the success of pedophilia hysteria.
One of Imus's crew, flying to some location for a remote broadcast, had his son along. Imus reports having his eyes closed and hearing the kid complain, "Dad, Bernie [McGuirk] touched me inappropriately."
That was the 10-yo kid of a comedian making a joke, possible only because of the evil male narrative.
More accurately, Hallmark says the offensive card was printed by a company they BOUGHT in 1998. The card itself was printed before they owned the company, and has not been printed since.
Somehow, though, a few copies seem to still be floating around on store shelves...
Totally a fake.
Source: mom of four; preschool teacher.
Failed Hallmark store, now a soon-to-fail Sears appliance store that doesn't stock parts ("I can order it for you") that you can buy online anywhere.
What store has 15 yr old cards on the shelf? They do toss stuff after a while to free up space.
@W.Cook Yes, I know, but it's still their company and their merchandise.
If printed by Creative Publishing before 1998, and so marked, how did the woman know it was a Hallmark card? A copy of her "tweet" would help with this I suppose. Did she know it was Hallmark or did they just up and fess'up?
The "boobies" card is not without precedent:
We must, we must, we must improve our bust.
The bigger, the better, the tighter the sweater.
The boys depend on us.
Introduce right-to-purchase legislation...
Wait...
What would that mean again?
I never noticed the rubies/boobies rhyme before. Gotta give points for that.
As a mom of two - I am saying that handwriting is fake. It looks to me like the person writing it is using their non-dominant hand. The shakes in the 'R' are what my writing looks like when I write with my left hand (as a right handed person).
Interesting how the US seems to have dichotomized, the early teens becoming simultaneously more prudish and more overtly sexual.
Badly done child's writing on the second one.
I forgive you Hallmark. It's Mother's Day or Valentine's Day cards with impossibly long and schmaltzy text that I can't abide.
We do seem to get offended too easily by what others do.
I like humorous cards. I always get my older sister something about being old or short. She's the only short perons in my family. My favorite is a card that said on the outside, "For your birthday, I got you something you'd never get for yourself." On the inside, "This card. It was high up on the shelf."
Agree the second is a fake. Sounds like Titus.
As for the other, the country really needs to get back its sense of humor.
At the risk of sounding like Marian the Grammarian, it is obvious by the syntax that a child did not write the second card. Only an adult (and a rather wordy one at that) would compose a grammatically correct compound sentence with two subordinate clauses, one of which contains two predicates.
I agree that the second card is a fake: the text simply doesn't sound like a child's threat to begin with, and the writing is too variable: children have learned one way to produce letters, and stick with that way (look at the letter 'y', which varies between a print y and a script y, and 'e' looks like a script e, not a print e. Kid who prints this awkwardly would not have learned handwriting forms as well. Fake.
Another point: what little girl of this age group (1st or 2d grade) worries about someone flirting with another female anyway, much less threatens to "replace" his eyes with his balls. Jessie Soprano? NB: I'm assuming it's supposed to be a little girl -- Jessie is the feminine form, Jesse is the male version, and even if the writer's parents couldn't spell, the cake and the hearts are a fussy touch that is little-girl style, not little boy. Total fraud is still my verdict.
The problem with the second card are the words 'another man'. Another man?
Who is the first 'other' man?
I'm assuming that Jessie is the girl and Riley is the protective boy. But since he's a boy, he would say 'man' not 'another man'. -- Unless he knows the girl has previously been violated by some man (extremely unlikely he'd know this) and wants to defend her in the future.
'Riley' could be a girl, I suppose, but that does not fix the illogic of the wording.
Expert opinion:
The sentiment expressed in the 2nd card may be suspect, but not the handwriting itself; evidence strongly indicates one writer.
The age of the writer is more difficult to ascertain - which in this sample has more to do with linguistics than stroke construction. In my opinion, however, the writing itself was executed by a teenager:
A very detail-orientated teenager (see the consistent alignment of the "i" dots with the i-letters); a methodical, mathematical thinker; investigative mind (see inverted "v" strokes, particularly in the letter “a” throughout) and notably, an individual with a flare/talent for music (shown in the atypical capitalization of “Flerts” and “Replace”).
Unfortunately, "Riley's" love appears unrequited, indicated by the overall downward slant of the handwriting in the sample - although it becomes more optimistic/hopeful in the "Happy birth day Jessie" on the cake.
Summary: What you see is what you get with this writer; he's straightforward, uncomplicated, and fundamentally honest.
David Baker, CGA (Certified Graphoanalyst – 25 years)
Lately when I've gone to stores looking for cards I've been shocked at the disgusting content in 90% of the cards in the "humor" section. The degradation of society continues apace led by the MSM and Hollywood.
Harrumph!
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