Don't get snippy. It's either see you naked or feel you up. Just kidding. You also have the option not to travel by plane.
ADDED: "The 'don’t touch my junk' guy speaks."
याची सदस्यत्व घ्या:
टिप्पणी पोस्ट करा (Atom)
To live freely in writing...
१०६ टिप्पण्या:
I choose getting felt up, and letting out loud, orgasmic groans during the process. Is that an arrestable offense?
Harry: You beat me to it. I'll add that after my passionate encounter with the TSA, I'll stare at those fliers behind me with contemptuous jealousy.
"Janet, please. Keep your hands to myself!"
You need an option for "will submit for necessary trips, but will not fly unless necessary."
I guess a lot of people whose jobs require travel by air could quit and try to find other employment (hah), but for many people, not flying is not a real option.
Incidentally, I flew to Paris last month, and at the security gates on the return trip, the Americans were all taking off their shoes, but the French simply smiled and the security staff told us that they don't require you to remove your shoes.
If people thought the TSA's rules were really necessary, there wouldn't be such a backlash against this latest intrusion.
Wait until you see what you have to do to board a high speed train. This man going hunting was a discretionary traveler. There will be many less of those travelers. The rest of the serfs are going to be molested at will. Once again, Obama's form of rule is first to win his War against the rebellious US people. If we give up and let him win, he has promised us all eternal Kenyan friendship.
LOL @ Harry.
That was my idea as well. Like in when Harry Met Sally.
Or....barring that...Just get really naked. Strip off all your clothing.
I suggest a form of chemical warfare as a means of protesting both the scanner and the second-base touchy-feelies.
Before you fly, eat or drink copious amounts of whatever makes you the most gassy. Then let loose as you approach the screening area and try to evacuate as much gas as possible as close to them as possible.
If you can, try to keep one blanket-buster sealed up for when they do groin you. And when it does peel out, try to put as much reverb into it as possible.
I've pretty much given up flying.
Screw it.
If you drive, your dog is your seat-mate instead of some fat stranger.
Does this mean that Nancy Pelosi will be molested too once she reverts from royalty to just another common Congresswoman
My husband travels to Chicago from the Twin Cities often for work, usually 1-2 round trips per month. He has started driving instead of flying and has no plans of switching back.
Turns out, it's only about 7 hours from door to hotel via car, which is only a couple hours more than when he flies and the hassle/stress factor is way, way lower. Not even this week's snowstorm would deter him.
I don't mind going through the naked tourist device, but I have EXTREME problems letting them use it on my four years old son and daughter. Especially when there've been cases of the images "escaping" from the TSA'm machines.
Creepy factor through the roof.
You know how stuff you buy is in a shrink wrap and and then you need TNT and/or an axe to open it? Couldn't they shrink wrap us when we fly leaving an air hole natch so we can breathe?
Or as DBQ said, we could all just fly naked.
FWIW we Americans have become such sheep.
This sucks because if you are flying for work, not flying isn't an option. if you are going to Europe or somewhere overseas, you're stuck flying. If you are going 3000 miles, or even 1500, driving is a really bad option. So, hang out at home, or close to, or fly and become cheap porn for somebody at TSA.
You could always hop on high speed rail to get to your destination without getting sexually harassed and humiliated while enjoying comfortable airtight doors, ice-free windows, handicap accessibility and Wi-Fi. Need a break from all that Wi-Fi and work? Mozy over to the bistro car, which will serve you hot and cold sandwiches and beverages.
:Dated Nov 1st 2010:
They can feel me up if they buy me dinner afterwords.
Personally, I don't care. I DO care about long lines at screening, and I avoid flying like the plague, but the screening tools themselves don't upset me.
My favorite part is TSA thugs requiring the Pilots and cabin crew to go be sexually molested or serially irradiated to an early death...all for NO reason. If a pilot or cabin crew person wants to take over or destroy the aircraft, then it will all be over anyway.
Hey, if we had s high speed railroad, I bet they wouldn't do these searches.
So maybe there is a reason for high speed rail after all.
Of course this hassle may lead to smaller airlines, smaller planes and concierge service offered by premium flying member groups I bet. It will have a catchy new slogan:
"The only thing we will do to your ass is put it in a nice comfy seat!"
Those trains to Europe are so damned hard to get a good seat on.
I see HD beat me to it by a few. In regards to high speed rail, the reason it might not be a target, is because no one would use it. If it were used then of course it would attract terrorst attacks, and then the govt would implement some form of searches if you wanted to get on board the train.
If you are going to run for president or maybe hope to become a Supreme some day.. you dont want your naked pictures out there.. ready to be plucked out of the ether by opposition research.
Who wants to see their president naked?
I sure dont.
again, if you want the White House.. dont take the plane.
"Once again, Obama's form of rule is first to win his War against the rebellious US people. If we give up and let him win, he has promised us all eternal Kenyan friendship."
Nice try, and Obama is certainly to be condemned for his countenancing of such policies, but don't try to pretend this assault on our privacy has started with him and is not simply a the inevitable extension of intrusions that have been underway for years. I recall the shouts of approval as Bush boasted of having broken the law in his electronic evesdropping on Americans without the required warrants.
Isn't this the next step from our having to remove our shoes (and sometimes belts) and having our belongings searched as we enter gate areas of airports?
After all, it's all just to keep us safe! Hasn't this been the clarion call of the right these past 9 years? "I regret that I but have only so many rights I can surrender in exchange for my safety!"
It's all part of a plan to limit where we go, and what we do. Soon they'll say we need domestic passports, and "Back in the USSR" will hit the charts for a repeat performance. Trust me. I've lived in these kinds of countries, and I see it coming.
On a serious note, this heightened [or maybe the more accurate word is 'lowered'] scrutiny indicates the feds and the TSA have gotten dire warnings about more and more underwear bombers. And Napolitano is sounding even dumber & more clueless than usual.
If it were used then of course it would attract terrorst attacks, and then the govt would implement some form of searches if you wanted to get on board the train.
Except for high-speed rail, the obvious way to attack it would be a bomb placed somewhere along the hundreds/thousands of miles of tracks. Or an RPG from a convenient vantage point. Or a big dump truck driven onto the tracks just ahead of the train. Or...
But even though there'd be so many easier ways to create carnage with HSR, I'm sure our friends at Homeland Security would insist on the virtual strip search anyway.
Scott Walker still waffling on high speed rail. And I'm noticing a steep decline in number of anti-rail trolls at jsonline.com. Ain't dead yet!
jr565 said...
...In regards to high speed rail, the reason it might not be a target, is because no one would use it. If it were used then of course it would attract terrorst attacks, and then the govt would implement some form of searches if you wanted to get on board the train.
If terrorists wanted to attack high speed rail, wouldn't it be easiest to just blow-up the track right as the train approaches? How are you going to guard hundreds, or possibly, thousands of miles of track?
The Blonde has been felt up since 9/11 because of the underwire in her bra and her knee implants (in that order), so it's nothing new.
This all started because Norman Mineta wanted to get even with America for interning him during WWII (we should have sent him to Biak). Anybody who's serious about catching the crazies is going to do what the Israelis do - profile (it even works!).
But Big Sis and The Zero wouldn't dream of it.
garage mahal said...
You could always hop on high speed rail to get to your destination
Let me know when that high speed rail to Jamaica starts up.
Am I confused, or are the same people complaining about tight security the same ones that were complaining about loose security?
As regards high speed train:
The Unstoppable train is the TSA bureaucracy. It can only get larger and go deeper and deeper into our lives.
How safe is your car anyway?
(Eventually we'll all have our own personal TSA employee.)
Cookie...You caught me. But why cannot a real solution be found short of abusing everyone? Why won't the Harvard geniuses with their sneaky death panels figure this out as if Americans have their own choices and are not fodder for every ridiculous plan dreamed up by Phds recently unemployed from Faked Climate Crisis duties.
Naked pictures for me, thanks.
Oh, of me. Well, still better than the groping. Honestly, I feel the best way to hurt the TSA is to make them look at nude pseudo-photos of me.
I think it is possible to have highly effective security which is also efficient and non-intrusive.
What we actually have is inefficient, highly intrusive and yet not very effective.
so there is certainly room for irritation and complaint.
You left out "tar and feather" TSA agents.
as Bush boasted of having broken the law
That's a good one!
Of course Bush did no such thing.
The only people I hear saying that the TSA makes us safer are liberals. My right-winger friends are smarter than that.
You could always hop on high speed rail to get to your destination
That's going to be a trick when you are traveling to Hawaii or Costa Rica.
Try again.
Dont beat a dead horse garage ;)
The left's obsession with "high speed rail" is simply bizarre.
Is it because all your other ideas have been spectacular failures, you're now looking for some sort of validation of your kookiness or what?
traditionalguy: the air crew is getting irradiated at thousands of times the scanning exposure every time that go up. Background radiation in nearly every part of the world is higher than what you get from the scanners. And that's for only the back-scatter scanners one of two types in use. The millimeter wave scanners don't give you any additional radiation. Here's a chart giving relative exposure data.
I do hope the people objecting to the scans are carrying a card in their wallets informing emergency medical personnel that they are not to disrobe the patient as they're not intimately related. And are primed to file sexual harassment charges when the EMT does it anyway. Can't have those strangers scoping out our blushing bodies, after all.
Besides, didn't xkcd already give us a great way to mau-mau TSA and its scanners? Why, yes he did!
WV: Faking it for TSA: fauglasm
The porn scanners need public scorn and push-back. The next iterations will only get worse.
Why the sudden overwhelming urgency of naked screener or feel up? Why is the Obamites pushing this? I think that having ruined a number of other sectors (insurance) of the economy and turned them over to the unions, it is now the turn of the airlines.
That's going to be a trick when you are traveling to Hawaii or Costa Rica.
Try again.
No one is suggesting we get rid of air travel.
Edgehopper has it. I say let them take naked pictures of all of us but force them to look at every one.
If terrorists wanted to attack high speed rail, wouldn't it be easiest to just blow-up the track right as the train approaches?
Why bother even with that? Just drive over to a curved section of the track with a pinch bar and pull the spikes out of the ties on the outside. Let a few hundred tons of train enter the curve at over a hundred miles per hour and let Newton's laws take over.
Naked pictures? You gotta be kidding me. You see more skin walking down the street these days.
But the TSA has stopped so many.... Never mind.
I have to fly. I have no choice. In that vain, I will submit to a pat down vs. scanner. Also, I will request a woman give me the pat down. I don't want a same sex pat down. Big Sis seems to think that same sex pat downs are in line with how she would like to have hers. Oh wait, she doesn't get any. Shocking!!! This guy at Lindbergh Field, which by the way is the shittiest airport on earth for a multitude of reasons isn't a folk hero to me. He's just a guy that said no.
And again, this only illustrates to me implicit consent in buying airplane tickets. It's bullshit and those conditions shouldn't be there. In fact, I wonder if this could be a cause to start attacking laws and statutes where implied consent is used.
Hey if you want to see me naked just hook up to my webcam.
If you want to see a pasty skinned fat fiftyish Irish douche bag naked that is.
And who wouldn't want to see that.
John Burgess. I agree with you that the air crews are already way over exposed to radiation. So what is the point of TSA finishing them off? Do the TSA thugs think that pilots with cancer and having nothing left to live for are likely Muslim terrorists?
Lem, Yale had a naked photo of GHWB (and everyone else in his class). USNA took photos of all midshipmen in jock straps. Someone found and displayed my dad's roommate's photo at his 50-something birthday party. It was actually appropriate because he was the only one in their company whose chest and hip measurements were identical. He was also brigade boxing champ for three years.
Robert Cook said...
I recall the shouts of approval as Bush boasted of having broken the law in his electronic evesdropping on Americans without the required warrants.
Sorry retard. There was already precedent that was set by your good ole' boy Clinton with Echelon and Carnivore. You won't pass that bullshit.
No one is suggesting we get rid of air travel.
Actually, AGWers are. Or rather, restrict it for "important" people. More than once I've been lectured to as to how we will have to give up our lifestyle for the greater good. Air travel is prominent on their list.
TSA screening pilots is idiotic. Once they are in the air then they are the ones in control of the plane, duh. Crew screening? Possibly, but I wonder if ground crews undergo the same scrutiny and even then there is so much interaction that anything can get through. That's already been proven my the TSA's own internal audits. TSA really needs to go away.
I still like that power trip the TSA thugs got from threatening to file civil law suits for $10,000 against every non boot licking passenger they met. Just one more Big Lie...all in a TSA guy's day at work lying for fun and profit.
I do hope the people objecting to the scans are carrying a card in their wallets informing emergency medical personnel that they are not to disrobe the patient as they're not intimately related. And are primed to file sexual harassment charges when the EMT does it anyway. Can't have those strangers scoping out our blushing bodies, after all.
Oh Bullshit with a cherry on it.
Having an EMT or a Doctor see you in a state of undress, when you need medical attention, is not the same as some high school power mad drop out working for the TSA getting his or her jollies out of groping you and playing Nazi prison guard with you.
I don't have a problem with nakedness. My parents were nudists, and I spent a lot of time in nudist colonies as a child, as a teen and as an adult. The naked body is no big deal and I wouldn't bat an eye to stand nude at the TSA counter......if I wanted to.
I DO have a problem with out of control, petty tyrants who commit sexual assault and disguise it as security.
I will ask for the hottest looking female TSA screener for the frisk. Cheap thrills courtesy of our government
I agree with garage, we really should spend tens of billions of dollars on a high speed rail line so that we don't have to get molested at the airport.
More seriously, Robert Cook is right that you can't lay any special blame at Obama's feet for this. We have had an ever more expensive and intrusive security state for decades. Obama is merely the latest head of the expanding hydra.
The problem started with J. Edgar and hopefully will stop with the Tea Partiers, but probably not. Most likely it will continue to get worse, bigger, more intrusive and more abusive until we break out the tar and feathers.
Oh Bullshit with a cherry on it.
Thank you, DBQ. I wanted to respond to that nonsense but was too busy to repond.
I will ask for the hottest looking female TSA screener for the frisk. Cheap thrills courtesy of our government
No kidding.
The Israelis, who have substantially greater security concerns than we do, figured out a long time ago it's far easier to find bad [i]people[/i] than find bad [i]things[/i].
The TSA security-charade is about political correctness. My 92-year-old mother was aggressively frisked in late September. All in the name of "we don't profile."
Well it's long past time to start profiling, you clueless fuckwads. Talk to the Israelis.
And if the current bunch of butchy dykes, martinets, and affirmative-action hires -- often combined in the same agent -- can't figure it out, then fire their sorry asses.
I've gone "commando" for a quarter-century, ever since spending a lot of time in the tropics, much of it 50 miles or more behind guerrilla lines in a couple of rather nasty countries.
If I ever fly again and the TSA droids wish to "see me naked" ... well they shoulda been careful what they asked for.
WV = comess --> I guess that depends on how they do the pat-down.
Actually, AGWers are. Or rather, restrict it for "important" people.
And some people that are for SB1070 in AZ are Neo-Nazis.
Not kidding, garage. Spent last Thanksgiving with my cousin who is a climate researcher. It's a shiboleth in the climate community that we will need government restrictions on non-essential travel. Not that there's any illusion about how hard this will be to pull off.
I see showing my naked ass to the TSA as a feature rather than a bug.
Lem wrote:
"Who wants to see their president naked?"
If Palin is elected, I could be persuaded to look.
I'm just waiting for the day when a guy goes through the scanner and some smart-assed TSA person turns to his wife and says "I feel sorry for you, lady."
Fortunately it won't happen to me.
And the new procedures just happen to be put into place when so many HSR projects are about to be cancelled?
Sounds like this is all a scam to get us to switch over to the choo-choos.
I'd pick the feel up. Definitely. Come on, it's fun. I think I'll sell t-shirts at the airport that read:
"I paid $600.00 and all I got was a plane ride and a detached uninvolved feel up."
bet this hurts first class sales as those who are on the fence financially choose to charter a plane and take all their tooth paste.
"I DO have a problem with out of control, petty tyrants who commit sexual assault and disguise it as security."
Not saying there might not be exceptions, but most of these TSA agents are doing the job they were hired to do.
You may not think that job should exist, or that the scanners and pat downs are going to far, and that's fine. What seems unfair is blaming anyone other than the decision makers.
Bart Hall is right: real security is achievable and looks nothing like what the TSA is doing. Pre-flight interviews by trained and competent people works. So does profiling.
That's why this silliness is such a powderkeg. If it were effective, most of us would say OK, fine. If it were easy and fast and unobtrusive, we'd say OK, fine. But it's neither, so we conclude that the government is conducting idiocy.
Besides, didn't xkcd already give us a great way to mau-mau TSA and its scanners? Why, yes he did!
I'm surprised I haven't seen a reference to this classic scene yet in the thread.
Two more ways to mess with them: Wear a T-shirt with "SCREW THE TSA" in aluminum foil letters pasted on it.
Or better yet, one with الله أكبر (Allahu Akbar) in metal foil letters. If they hassle you, loudly demand your rights and claim that they're discriminating against you on account of your religion.
I'm opposed to big government intrusion. That's what this is, imo.
And some people that are for SB1070 in AZ are Neo-Nazis.
And then what?
The problem for you, is not only do you buy into the AGW nonsense, the AGW crowd is respected on the left.
Quite different than "neo nazis"
Carry on in your silliness.
Seeing me naked is something you usually have to earn. But if they want me to go through the "'naked' screener thing," well, I say, "enjoy the show"!
I got the pornoscan at Reagan National on the way out to Flyover land three weeks ago. Today, on the way home, at the little regional airport, I had to walk through a metal detector, my bags were scanned as usual, and I was sent on my way.
The secret must be to live and fly from a small town.
Despite what Rae assumes not all of us want absolute safety so much (an unattainable goal in any case) that we are willing to give up all our rights as Americans. If we are in a war with terrorists we should assume we are going to take the occasional hit. It's far better that than to spend the rest of our lives groveling on our knees, as some here are so willing to do.
Penny, I do blame the TSA personnel who earn their living groping other people. They didn't have to take a job that involves making other people intensely uncomfortable. There's nothing dishonorable about flipping burgers. And at the end of the day you can look yourself in the mirror without feeling ashamed.
BTDT: Flew out of Reagan National this summer.
The worst thing is that having to choose between genital groping and porno scans is not the end of this. Sooner or later some would-be terrorist is going to put a bomb up his butt (or in her vagina), whereupon the TSA will announce that their new policy is body cavity searches for everyone over two. The sad thing here is that there are plenty of Americans who will happily say, "That's fine with me if it makes us safer."
People who are so afraid of the world they are willing to give up every liberty they ever had really shouldn't get out of bed in the morning. They could trip over their slippers.
Dust Bunny Queen, I bet the TSA has already studied the possibility of making us all fly naked. They no doubt decided against it on the grounds that it would be too hard to keep the seat cushions clean. Their next ploy will probably be to make us check all our clothing and fly in paper jump suits.
Osama Bin Laden is sitting in his cave sipping his tea and laughing his head off. Our panicky reaction to 9-11 has done far more damage to America than anything he ever did.
If these porno scan images are so inoffensive the TSA should require the scanner operators to have their scans posted above their stations. Or better yet, Janet Napolitano should post a photo of her scan on You Tube so the rest of us won't feel so bad.
I don't understand why so many here are touting high speed rail as if it's a real alternative. There's only one high speed rail line in American (between Washington DC and Boston) and it's average speed is only 70 mph. I do better than that in my car.
You also have the option of not flying? Are you kidding?
This would seriously limit you in the modern world. It would limit the kind of job you could take (sorry, can't travel), it would limit your vacations or your ability to see relatives who don't live within driving distance.
Also, I don't think its really a choice between subjecting yourself to personal humiliation or getting blown out of the sky. Our government needs to rethink and reapproach the way it conducts airport security.
I LOVE how the men here want a Hot TSA Babe to give them a pat down.
Have you guys ever looked at at TSA women? Not a looker in the bunch.
LilyBart said...I LOVE how the men here want a Hot TSA Babe to give them a pat down. Have you guys ever looked at at TSA women? Not a looker in the bunch.
Same thought. The hottest looking babe in the TSA looks like Janet Napolitano.
The only people I hear saying that the TSA makes us safer are liberals.
I don't know of anyone who thinks TSA makes us safer.
Lem wrote: Dont beat a dead horse garage
Dead Horse (w) v. Garage Mahal (b)
1) P-KB3 / P-K4
2) P-KKn4 / Q-KR5 mate
Garage Mahal went on the loose the tournament to Dead Horse 1-1-3
"Our government needs to rethink and reapproach the way it conducts airport security."
They just did that, and maybe this is the best they can do right now. That isn't to say that they aren't looking at alternatives all the time. That's the job.
"Penny, I do blame the TSA personnel who earn their living groping other people."
Pat downs are hardly groping. If someone gropes, I would expect an investigation.
"They didn't have to take a job that involves making other people intensely uncomfortable."
There are many things that make people intensely uncomfortable, including our current unemployment rate or their personal inability to take care of their families. You can't seriously expect people to turn down jobs because there are a bunch of people screaming about airport scanners. Wouldn't you also be screaming at them to get a job and off the government dole if they were collecting unemployment?
"Wouldn't you also be screaming at them to get a job and off the government dole if they were collecting unemployment?"
Penny, there are plenty of hamburgers that still need flipped. Security groin screeners can always ask for their old jobs back. At least that way they won't be embarrassed in their childrens' eyes for how they earn a living.
Penny, your "what about their job security" meme is a weak argument in favor of the TSA as it currently operates. It would be the worst of all possible worlds if we begin to think of the TSA as a make-work program for the unemployable.
wv: bhuct - what my ass will say during my next body scan
f we begin to think of the TSA as a make-work program for the unemployable.
That is how to best describe government jobs.
WTF ever happened to the Fourth Amendment?
Put me down for "not flying unless it's an emergency." Unless the person doing the feeling up is female, young and attractive enough to moonlight as an exotic dancer. Other than that, they can keep their hands off my junk, too.
I don't understand why so many here are touting high speed rail as if it's a real alternative. There's only one high speed rail line in American (between Washington DC and Boston) and it's average speed is only 70 mph. I do better than that in my car.
but, but, but, .... 90 MPH!
and its average speed is only 70 mph. I do better than that in my car.
Traveling by car from DC to Boston at an average speed of 70 mph requires a good bit of speeding.
Traveling by car from DC to Boston at an average speed of 70 mph requires a good bit of speeding.
And, you have to pee into bottles.
Story on NPR this (Tuesday) morning about how its 160 mph rail connection has helped Wuhan, China.
MadMan,
"Traveling by car from DC to Boston at an average speed of 70 mph requires a good bit of speeding."
And... ... ... ?
"Story on NPR this (Tuesday) morning about how its 160 mph rail connection has helped Wuhan, China."
I'll bet you a huge sum of virtual dollars that the HSR system in Wuhan is replacing, or supplementing, a current system that's inferior.
that the HSR system in Wuhan is replacing, or supplementing, a current system that's inferior.
China Southern Airlines lost half their passengers to the HSR.
I am not sure where "Traditional Guy" was talking of with his comment: "Wait until you see what you have to do to board a high speed train." For one thing, there are no high speed trains in the US.
Today the Acela out of the Route 128 Station at 1:28 PM was FULL. There was no security check. I asked the lady who gave me my ticket about security checks and she said not yet, but smiling, she asked me if I was a bomber and I said (stupidly), not for a long time. That would have been a major faux pas at an airport.
I was taking the Acela because (1) I could use WiFi the whole way, (2) the seats don't feel as cramped and (3) it wasn't going to take that much longer in terms of time getting to the airport, waiting at Logan or Manchester for an airplane that might be delayed, and then having to deal with Philly International.
When I was a pilot (F-4, T-29, O-2, F-16) I loved flying. Today not so much.
Acela is NOT high speed rail, but it is a small step back in that direction.
Regards — Cliff
There's already been a bomber with the bomb up his a** -- in a Saudi assassination attempt. The screener won't see that and the feeler won't feel it. Next, people will be swallowing plastique the way drug mules swallow condoms full of cocaine. They should learn behavioral profiling from the Israelis and cut this bullshit out.
If you want to see a pasty skinned fat fiftyish Irish douche bag naked that is.
Wait . . . I thought that was your picture.
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain . . .
टिप्पणी पोस्ट करा