२४ जून, २००९

The "most overtly blow-jobby ad I've ever seen."



Gawker says:
For benefit of those of you who don't "get it," this is what's known as "branding" in the industry. Or something.

But wait, if that's not enough for you, here's the actual text of the ad:
Fill your desire for something long, juicy and flame-grilled with the NEW BK SUPER SEVEN INCHER. Yearn for more after you taste the mind-blowing burger that comes with a single beef patty, topped with American cheese, crispy onions and the A1 Thick and Hearty Steak Sauce.
The only thing this ad is missing is the disclaimer that you'll actually get fewer blowjobs if you eat these sandwiches, but perhaps that's the "genius" of advertising that we simpletons on the outside just don't get.
Sex sells food and food is a sex substitute. The food doesn't get you sex, but your desire for sex can be channeled into food-eating. I think we know that.

Gawker imagines that it's funny to say that food will make you fat and fat will keep you from having sex. They had to find some way to smirk and sneer. But the fact is, we all need some food, and the ad is eye-catching and the food looks pretty good. Also:

1. The ad is viral. Gawker printed it, and so did I.

2. The undeniably blatant blow-jobbiness is pure comedy, and that makes it cleaner than subtly sexual ads. Let's all have a good laugh. And a sandwich. And a blow job!

3. Burger King has a sandwich aimed at young guys. It's aimed at a young gal in the ad, but it's an ad aimed at young guys. They'll remember this sandwich.

It's a good ad.

ADDED: Note how well they've named the sandwich to promote hilarity at the counter: "Do you want the seven incher?" "I'll have the seven incher." "I love the seven incher." "I need a seven incher." Etc. Etc.

AND: Seven. It had to be 7. They probably thought about 8, even 9, and also 6. But in the end, it had to be 7. That was exactly right. Slightly aspirational, but not intimidating.

८२ टिप्पण्या:

The Dude म्हणाले...

Did Jeremy write that?

Fred4Pres म्हणाले...

I need to show that ad to my wife.

अनामित म्हणाले...

oh please analyze this a bit deeper. fast food is all about quickies. A mouth is more ready than a vagina, so to say.

arby's hat, subway foot long, etc. there is a race to see who can get those most references in in 30 seconds or a print ad.


Fine restaurants do it more subtly.

Yes, we can simplify all things just down to that. Thank goodness, some of us experiment with a few higher thoughts. That mental experimentation might lead to a blow job,


insert another whoop di do

but it most likely leads to something much more fulfilling that blows the sex away too.

You know it when you feel it.

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

Don't forget the onion rings!

Original Mike म्हणाले...

Arby's hat?

pdug म्हणाले...

This ad and the Quiznos recent "hot oven, put it in me, Scott" ad make me think that C.S. Lewis was on to something

"The biological purpose of sex is children, just as the biological purpose of eating is to repair the body. Now if we eat whenever we feel inclined and just as much as we want, it is quite true most of us will eat too much: but not terrifically too much. One man may eat enough for two, but he does not eat enough for ten. The appetite goes a little beyond its biological purpose, but not enormously. But if a healthy young man indulged his sexual appetite whenever he felt inclined, and if each act produced a baby, then in ten years he might easily populate a small village. This appetite is in ludicrous and preposterous excess of its function. Or take it another way. You can get a large audience together for a strip-tease act - that is, to watch a girl undress on the stage. Now suppose you come to a country where you could fill a theatre by simply bringing a covered plate on to the stage and then slowly lifting the cover so as to let every one see, just before the lights went out, that it contained a mutton chop or a bit of bacon, would you not think that in that country something had gone wrong with the appetite for food? "

kjbe म्हणाले...

Do they have an ad aimed at women? I'm guessing not.

John Burgess म्हणाले...

pduggie: Actually, I picture that taking place weekly, at the hidden dens of PETA and Vegan covens.

A.W. म्हणाले...

mmm, i am detecting a running theme between this post and the stamp post...

Zachary Sire म्हणाले...

Shoulda made it 8. "Eight inches" is the standard size people reference when talking about big dicks. Seven is fine, but it's 8 that's great.

And, I hope they have an ad planned with a guy in front of it with his mouth open. If they don't, Burger King is homophobic,

Original Mike म्हणाले...

And, I hope they have an ad planned with a guy in front of it with his mouth open. If they don't, Burger King is homophobic,.

If they do they turn off more people than they attract. Money trumps inclusiveness.

अनामित म्हणाले...

oh i guess you didn't see that six meal reference for the less than visual people.

price enters into the picture as to what you pay.

play all the numbers, ann.

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

"Shoulda made it 8. "Eight inches" is the standard size people reference when talking about big dicks. Seven is fine, but it's 8 that's great."

Yes, but you don't want the customer to feel diminished by his sandwich. He may want an 8-inch penis, but he's buying a sandwich, and he doesn't want the sandwich to best him.

अनामित म्हणाले...

and the lesbians?

where are they getting their food for thought?

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

One questionable phrase is "something long, juicy and flame-grilled."

"Long." Check.

"Juicy." Check.

"Flame-grilled." Aaaaaaa!

अनामित म्हणाले...

those of us who are alone,

so funny about inches. and so funny that no one knows the rules of physics and expansion and contraction.

You are discussing/arguing over inches and expandability.

when the real satisfaction is the ability to tighten your belt in these times.

अनामित म्हणाले...

you also want to note why they decorated the impact type with a splattering.

c'mon ann, there is foreplay in this ad. or did you just see the penis?

अनामित म्हणाले...

Gawker imagines that it's funny to say that food will make you fat and fat will keep you from having sex.

Only if you're a man. Fat women get lots of sex, fat men get very little.

Peter

अनामित म्हणाले...

sorry, that wasn't impact.

wow, i gave them too much there for the font choice, but i can see the air-ness in choosing this lighter font.

Tibore म्हणाले...

After seeing that, I don't know if it's a sandwich I want, or a cigarette.

Tibore म्हणाले...

"Ann Althouse said...
One questionable phrase is "something long, juicy and flame-grilled."

"Long." Check.

"Juicy." Check.

"Flame-grilled." Aaaaaaa!"


So, you're now saying the ad is about emasculation via broiler, is that it?

(*ducks*)

अनामित म्हणाले...

don't forget to take your MEDs two.

अनामित म्हणाले...

and the lesbians?
where are they getting their food for thought?


If Taco Bell comes out with fish tacos ....

Peter

अनामित म्हणाले...

yea and tacos don't come with the seeds sprinkled on top.

now what if i don't get the sex. what if i am strange and cant associate? that thing looks like a book with all kinds of thick hearty pages for me to develop my mind. What if i am getting full on thoughts?

you would call me stupid for not seeing the sex and seeing a pocket book?

not the new jersey kind, or maybe indeed yes.

The River Otter म्हणाले...

Have you ever seen the packaging for fruit-flavored cigars (blunts?) Wow. "Blows" me away!
(I just know from cleaning up other people's garbage in parks etc- I actually get more excited about finding used condoms. As in, it actually GOT USED.)

SteveR म्हणाले...

Otter: "mine's bigger than that."

William म्हणाले...

I certainly hope that this manipulative ad doesn't cause young women to substitute oral sex for their need for healthy food. America doesn't need any more thin women obsessed with giving oral sex.

Beta Conservative म्हणाले...

Maybe they'll offer a 3 1/2" sandwich on the .99 menu.

Not as satisfying, but better than none at all.

Beta Conservative म्हणाले...

And you could always order two.

rhhardin म्हणाले...

I'd think you'd want wider not longer, unless you like cervix jostling. The C-spot.

Bob म्हणाले...

Only way the ad could have been better is if were dripping a bit of mayonnaise-based "special sauce" from the side facing the gaping maw.

अनामित म्हणाले...

the 3.5 incher rounded up to four plays nicely, huh?

sorry, ann, for flooding your post here with my commentary. I don't know what got into me. Must have been latent things left over by my drop out status in graphic design that i had to get off my chest,

and i never he worked far enough to get to the portfolio class where you actually do these evaluations

traditionalguy म्हणाले...

Their next promotion should be to give away a free condom with the super-sized upgrade.

halojones-fan म्हणाले...

A: I'd hit it!

B: Actually, the most suggestive food ad I've ever seen was a Taco Bell TV spot for some sort of burrito, which featured a black man with an expression of beatific joy "dancing" while eating a tubular food item. The theme was "Taco Bell is hip and cool like those dance clubs where they play that bippity-boopity techno music!", but it looked like he was fellating a tortilla-based sex toy.

C: As I've said elsewhere, eating and sex are both sensual activities; why not just go whole-hog with that idea? After all, food is often used during sexual activity.

D: Commentors, remember that Ann thinks everything looks like a penis. Even cars--remember when she wrote about the redesigned Audi TT and suggested that it was "boxy and angular, like a penis"?

Penny म्हणाले...

I feel certain that the cute, young girl in the ad couldn't POSSIBLY eat the whole thing, but she will sure give it that ole college try.

"Could I have some extra napkins, please?"

Big Mike म्हणाले...

If they don't, Burger King is homophobic,

I don't know, in its previous ad campaign the King always looked like he swung from both sides of the plate.

Penny म्हणाले...

As for that "flame broiled"...

INFLAMED!

To be excited or aroused!
To catch fire!

Unknown म्हणाले...

She looks like a blow-up doll to me. That plays into the solitary aspect of eating fast food.

Darcy म्हणाले...

Huh.

Big Mike म्हणाले...

(I just hope the white stuff in the sandwich really is mayonnaise.)

MayBee म्हणाले...

IMO, "Tastes Better" is a real selling point.

Joe म्हणाले...

I'm very dubious that this is a genuine Burger King ad. It could be a viral ad produced elsewhere, but I suspect that it's a parody.

XWL म्हणाले...

"2. The undeniably blatant blow-jobbiness is pure comedy, and that makes it cleaner that subtly sexual ads. Let's all have a good laugh. And a sandwich. And a blow job!"

As to your point number two, I do patronize a variety of fast food joints throughout Southern California (and sometimes Southern Nevada), and without a doubt, the establishments with staff that I'd most wish to offer me oral favors along with consumables happens to also be the place with the best food (they give me 'quality you can taste', so only fair that I give some back in return, I suppose).

(I think it's partly the white uniforms, and the red aprons fastened with comically oversized safety pins, oddly erotic)

Wince म्हणाले...

This ad may be a bit more explicit.

I don't know, in its previous ad campaign the King always looked like he swung from both sides of the plate.

What is it about the Burger King and blow jobs?

Beta Conservative म्हणाले...

I'm having nightmares about my ex-wife doing a Vienna Sausage ad.

She was always a tough out.

bagoh20 म्हणाले...

""Flame-grilled." Aaaaaaa!"

G.Gordon Liddy does this and he gets chicks.

knox म्हणाले...

I'd think you'd want wider not longer, unless you like cervix jostling. The C-spot.


"Cervix jostling." LOL What's with all the body-parts stuff on this blog lately? It's cracking me up.

Kev म्हणाले...
ही टिप्पणी लेखकाना हलविली आहे.
Kev म्हणाले...

(the other kev)

I think I still prefer Hardee's/Carl's Jr.'s 'Fist Girl' for out-and-out porniness, but at least BK seems to be moving away from the guy in the creepy psycho killer mask.

Beta Conservative म्हणाले...

Maybe McDonald's will offer an 8 inch "McCervix Jostler".

Not sure what the ads will look like.

Ophir म्हणाले...

eating and sex are both sensual activities; why not just go whole-hog with that idea?

George Costanza was way ahead of you.

Cedarford म्हणाले...

William said...
I certainly hope that this manipulative ad doesn't cause young women to substitute oral sex for their need for healthy food. America doesn't need any more thin women obsessed with giving oral sex.
.

Sarcasm tags lacking, William!

I have to admit I don't get the homoerotic Quiznos ads marketing. Deep male voiced toaster oven talking to a nubile boy about "how much we both enjoyed!" him cleaning out the oven. Now it is time to stick that long sub right in, for even more pleasure......

Male homosexuals are less than 2% of the demographics. The average young male will tend to be repelled at a product tied to backroom homo hanky-panky. Unless the message is targeting females - "that since gay men and toaster ovens make Quiznos...why gays have such refined taste.. that we women should suggest our group goes to eat there..."

------------
Another one I don't understand is Red Lobster. Where for 3-4 years, every new product or special is announced accompanied a gospel-like chorus of several "down-ghetto" black women moaning as if each Red Lobster entree` gives them total sexual pleasure.
It seems to be branding Red Lobster as a place mainly for blacks...the men to take their oversexed, horny black women for some orgasmic shrimp, southern-fried golden catfish with lobster sauce....Purely apocryphal - I noticed a shift in clients at a local one to more blacks, less whites and hispanics. Less people eating there overall...

traditionalguy म्हणाले...

The lowly hamburger as a dildo is a new twist on "sex sells". Now its flavor comes from a Thick Sauce, and it's shape blows your mind. The thin, short hotdog has been replaced.But will a Foot-Long Thick and Meaty Dog reclaim the lust food crown? This is a competition that customers are winning. Over at Hooters the waitresses are nervous already. Will the breast in show restaurant win again or lose by a nipple?

Issob Morocco म्हणाले...

Let's name it the "Half a Holmes".

Wilber म्हणाले...

"ADDED: Note how well they've named the sandwich to promote hilarity at the counter: "Do you want the seven incher?" "I'll have the seven incher." "I love the seven incher." "I need a seven incher." Etc. Etc."

Somehow I don't thing many guys at the bar will be joking about getting a seven incher.

"America doesn't need any more thin women obsessed with giving oral sex."

Umm, we could deal with it.

BJK म्हणाले...

(I just hope the white stuff in the sandwich really is mayonnaise.)


That's the thing that draws my attention about the ad (in conjunction with the orality...if that's not a word, it should be). There is nothing in the description of the sandwich that should look like mayo...unless A1 started making a white steak sauce. On the other hand, I can't believe that they'd leave out the chance to tout their creamy white sauce, given the context of the ad.

Also...seven inches...why so small?

अनामित म्हणाले...

overheard truth in a men's locker room support group;

"if all our penises were hung on a line, you would take yours and i would take mine."

gads, this inch envy is really funny to me as a woman because i have never seen confidence in a man, as in the way a man walks and talks to relate to any bulges in pants. The data is allover the map on that.

Roy Lofquist म्हणाले...

Two guys in a bar.

What do you have in that suitcase?

A twelve inch pianist. Opens case. Out jumps a little guy with a toy piano. Starts to play.

Amazing! What else?

This lamp. Give it a rub.

Genie appears. One wish!

Ah, ah, a million bucks. The bar is suddenly filled with ducks.

WTF?

You don't think I really wished for a twelve inch pianist, do you?

Tibore म्हणाले...

"BJK said...

Also...seven inches...why so small?"


Yeah, but it's a really girthy sandwich.









... what??

RLB_IV म्हणाले...

"c'mon ann, there is foreplay in this ad. or did you just see the penis?"

Today's Wednesday and Althouse hasn't seen Meade since Sunday.
She's horny, the little devil.

Separation makes for hot weekends unless, of coarse, you're republican.

traditionalguy म्हणाले...

Like crackerjacks, the burger King combo pack for this sucker will have to include a pearl necklace favor so that all of your friends will know that you have beaten the Burger King Super Seven.

अनामित म्हणाले...

oh i don't care about political affiliations, nor do i vote

with my hands or feet

i might have misunderstood the whole ad. i miss too much sexual inuenda because i don't go to movies, don't have a tv, nor newspapers delivered or read on the internet. Obviously haven't had a multitude of sexual partners. I'm also straight and was raised Catholic. i am sure the sexual therapists would have a field day with all my problems and the experience of all the others dwarf my knowledge.

I am quite strong and quite limber, however, so it may just be a terrible thing that these blatant ads turn me off. never know, but i do know what i am waiting for and it aint fast food.

Revenant म्हणाले...

Is this ad really aimed at young guys?

I mean, there's a world of difference difference between "our product will make women want your penis" and "our product is a big penis". This ad conveys the latter. Now, call me homophobic, but I've never once thought "hm, I think I'll have a great big penis for lunch today", even subconsciously. :)

To get the whole "this sandwich will make women want to have sex with you" vibe that 95% of beer ads use they should have had a guy at least holding the sandwich. Showing the sandwich and woman by themselves doesn't work.

chickelit म्हणाले...

Nice plug XWL!

Alex म्हणाले...

What they didn't say is the sandwich has 2000 calories and will make you very, very FAT. You will become very un-hot and Titus will not want to shtup you.

MayBee म्हणाले...

Have you all seen the Quizno's Toasty Torpedo?

Tibore म्हणाले...

You know, something's wrong here: We got a whole thread insinuating fellatio, yet not a single peep out of Titus.

What gives? Too easy, perhaps?

The Dude म्हणाले...

Titus beclowned himself talking about Iranian pussy and his sweaty balls on the thread about Neda being shot.

He will be back - afterall, nothing is more important than Titus to Titus.

Jason (the commenter) म्हणाले...

Have you all seen the Quizno's Toasty Torpedo?

Yes, that's in your face homosexuality! "Put it in me Scott."

Weird how you can go after a young male audience with either blow jobs from girls or a homoerotic toaster oven.

Don't tell Original Mike, it will blow his mind.

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

Don't be mean to Titus. He's sad because one of his dogs died.

Alex म्हणाले...

Ann Althouse said...
Don't be mean to Titus. He's sad because one of his dogs died.

June 24, 2009 10:20 PM

Ah that excuses months and months of vulgar, narcissistic behavior. Nice to you have such high standard Althouse!

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

In fact I do have high standards, and Titus is one of the best commenters ever, possibly even *the* best.

Alex म्हणाले...

Ah, especially the part when Titus went on and on about Iranian pussy and hogs. Ok.

Revenant म्हणाले...

Ah that excuses months and months of vulgar, narcissistic behavior.

He's entertaining. That's all the excuse anyone needs.

Alex म्हणाले...

Entertaining is doing it once a week. But thread-jacking every single day is just gluttonous behavior. Sorry, but Titus can go to troll hell.

Jason (the commenter) म्हणाले...

It's probably only 5 inches long and if you complain they'll say something about shrinkage.

amba म्हणाले...

An Italisn guy who'd had a butcher shop in the Village for decades, maybe generations, drove a delivery truck around the streets that had this legend on it: "Pat LaFrieda says: 'Eat my meat.'"

The Dude म्हणाले...

Ann, that narcissitic mother-fondler Titus carries on about how often he works out in the gym, how strong he is, and so on, and yet after overfeeding his dog for years, when the dog was crippled by morbid obesity and unable to walk, he claimed he was too weak to carry it. What a pussy. And by pussy I mean asshole, just like Steve's use of the word.

So, he is a weak, habitual liar, an animal abuser, a self centered wanker and the best commenter ever. Nice.

Ann Althouse म्हणाले...

"So, he is a weak, habitual liar, an animal abuser, a self centered wanker and the best commenter ever. Nice."

You're only giving him depth.

Alex म्हणाले...

Althouse - I'm speechless. so if the Iranian dictator thug was a clever writer, you'd be singing his praises too.

The Dude म्हणाले...

You are correct, if by "depth" you mean "shallowness".

Hey, it's your blog, you love Titus, for reasons that escape me, so let us all enjoy reading about feces, animal abuse, unprotected anonymous gay sex and other equally deep subjects.

MadisonMan म्हणाले...

I did not realize a clumber died -- I guess I should be reading here more often.

Titus has probably left this thread, but he has my sympathy. I still miss the Great dog we lost to old age 6 years ago.