It feels too much like an obligation, but what's worse is that I don't feel that it works well for me as raw material for blogging anymore. Must I once again live through the early auditions, where one mouth after another opens and something either reasonably good or horribly bad comes out?
What difference does it make? It will either be good or bad. If it's bad, you're to laugh.
(And I did laugh pretty hard at one poor man last night. He told us he was like Paul Robeson, sang with his mouth oddly constrained and his lingual frenulum on obscene display, and then blamed his failure to impress the judges on his choice of religious material. )
If it's good, you're supposed to bond. You're supposed to care as these characters begin their journey into the months long sifting process. They prod you to bond by presenting mini-melodramas that emphasize the contestants' close bonds to their mothers, their sick children, and their horses and kitties.
You're supposed to upload the significant singers one by one into your consciousness so that you can appreciate the experience of seeing them systematically and slowly eliminated, until there is one left standing, at which point, you — or at least I — will realize I am not at all interested in this person. Get off my TV screen.
And then they do. They go away. They hibernate — they estivate and they hibernate — until the following January, when you will have forgotten what a pain it was to follow the show week after unrewarding week, and you'll be able to feel excited by the return of the boinging theme music, and the old panel of judges, who will file in wearily and act pained that they have to sit through it all again.
But they are being paid. I'm not. Seriously, my readers paid me $200 to eat an egg salad sandwich that one time, but no one pays me to blog "American Idol." Would I take a job watching and writing about "American Idol" for $200 an episode? Of course not! But even as we do some things for money that we wouldn't do for free, we do some things for free that we wouldn't do for money. Nevertheless, somehow, this year, blogging every episode of "American Idol" doesn't seem to be one of them.
IN THE COMMENTS: Lots of great discussion of later episodes.
ADDED: Actually, there's a glitch that cuts off the comments in that old post making it impossible to see all of what I pointed you too. So here are the comments from this week's girls show (and some more), all by ace commenter Trooper York:
Now the ladies.
Carly is up and guess what her secret is? SHE"S IRISH AND SHE WORKS IN A BAR!!!! WOW.
She sings Crazy on you by Heart and does an ok rendition. The judges are trying to rehablitate her since the controversy seems to have blown over about her prior record contract. But she has a long way to go to really have a chance to win.
Syesha's up and does a smokey, sexy version of Me and Mrs Jones, but turns it into Me and Mr. Jones which freaks out Simon since he can't deal with gender confusion, (see his relationship with Seacrest). The judges dog her and she seems sad, but I think she is safe unless everyone forgets her. But she has the Latin base and the Miami people so she might be ok this week since other people will suck much worse.
Brooke is up next and takes her guitar and sings a letter perfect copy of Carly Simon's Youre so Vain to Simon. He loves it because it plays to his image and praises her for it. It's funny how they ask for orginality and then love a letter perfect copy. This is pure karioke if I ever heard it. I do admit she does have the horse face and lips of Carly Simon. Lets give her a carrot and move on to the next contestant.
Which is our favorite, little Ramile who belts out some Donna Summer. The judges don't buy it because they want her back in her box. It's funny because she is the only contestant who could actually fit in a box. Maybe a hat box. Or even a McDonals happy meal box. Or a happy ending box. Simon does call her one of the three best singers in the competition. So she should be good for this week.
Next up is pony girl Kristy Lee Cooke who sings "Youre No Good." Very appropriate because she is no good and I hope she is one of the two who are out this week. Simon says she has a lot of potential, but I think that is on her looks alone, cause she can't sing for shit. I would pay good money to see her saddle up horse face Brooke and ride her around the Surreal Life house, but that won't happen for a year or two.
Amanda Oversinger, I mean Amanda. Overbearing, I mean Amanda Overmeyer the motorcycle chick is next and she sucks big time. The judges really trash her big time and deservedly so. But the looks she is giving them are classic. I bet she's thinking, let me get a tire iron and come back here and see what's what. I guess she is going back to singing in bars and raping waitresses on pinball machines with pool cues. Sweet.
Alexandrea comes out in the professor's favorite outfit: a bubble shirt and cargo shorts. This outfit would be good for about six posts if some dude wore it on the Promonade. She sang "Hopelessly Devouted to You" in a hopelessly depressing monotone. The judges trash her gently and give just enough encouragement so she might skate this week. But I think she has a chance to go this week. [NOTE: He's right.]
Wait a minute I screwed up. It was Alaina Witaker who sang Hopelessly Devoted and ALexandrea who had the bad outfit. Both sucked and have a chance to be out. See what happens when you wait a day and rely on your notes. You forget. I feel like Roger Clemens. Please don't tell Congress.
Next up is Kady Malloy who does the Britney impression. I said it before and I will say it again, if she wants to be noticed she needs to show her cootch just like Britney cause otherwise she is out this week or next. Jeeez.
Last but not least, Asia'h rocks. All By Myself and the judges diss her lightly but I think it was the best of the night. Since she got the pimp spot she should be ok and get throught to the next round. Good tone, good belting, good dance moves, good look. She will be in the final ten.
So to recap, I think Amanda and Kady will be out this week. Also Jason the child molester guy with the Damien kid and Robbie the Axel Rose douche bag guy. Lets see. [NOTE: He was right about the guys, but wrong about the girls.]
Remember don't look at the spelling because I am typing as fast as I can and I can't spell for shit. Sorry....
I think that the Humility Kid [David Archuleta] will wear out his welcome before the final. He is peaking way too early. I think it will be a surprise winner this year. The Hernandez kid has good instincts and might go far, but my bet is split between Syesha or Ramile. Hey it might be the year for people with strange names to win it all. Right Hillary?
Not [Archuleta's] singing, but his popularity. He is the fave of the little tweener girls, notice the squeals and the screams at his performance. He might keep that demographic but everyone else gets pissed off. Witness the Talyor Hicks fiasco. Plus kids have a short attention span and most of the tweeners favs fade just as it happened in the first season with that bozo haired guy.
The question is who gets the Ralph Nader protest votes marshaled by Vote for the Worst. My bet is Cha-cheese-ie or Noriega. That is important because it kept Sanjaya and Scott Savol the secret squirrel around for quite a while.
A good personality can go a long way. People get tired of wise guys, but that is what puts the Vote for the Worst guys in your corner. Although that might have died out too since it was fun last year with Sanjaya but will Stern and the rest of them get on the bandwagon. It's not a good idea to talk back to the judges and overly bitchy like Noriega goes quick. But who ever thought that old pineapple face's kid would be on American Idol. General Noriega must be proud wherever he is these days. (Dead?)
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२१७ टिप्पण्या:
217 पैकी 1 – 200 नवीन› नवीनतम»So why didn't this occur to you last year? Or the year before?
I've been one to join along with you in the AI discussions here. I think, overlooking the negatives such as you mentioned, was easier when there was not multiple seasons of the same thing going through your mind as you watch.
The only thing that rewards is the bright spots, when they come and talent revealed. With few of the former and not much of the latter, the trainwrecks and cheesy drama are not worth it.
We all move on, I kinda feel the same way about the presidential election, I think I'm going to have to stop watching it.
"...where one mouth after another opens and something either reasonably good or horribly bad comes out?"
Like watching the debates?
"So why didn't this occur to you last year? Or the year before?"
Why didn't what occur to me? Be specific, and make reference to old posts.
My point is that the old posts are full of negativity about the show. The notion that I love the show comes from other blogs. I blog about the show because it's part of American culture that many people share. Blogging about something doesn't mean I love it, and there are many things I love that I never blog about. Blogging about something only means that I regard it as good blogging material. There are some things near the line and AI is falling below the line for me now. On any given morning as I scan the news, there are a few things I almost blog about that I reject because I decide it doesn't rate.
FNot doing things you actually don't like to do might be one of the benefits of your fourth nonadecimal.
I watched every episode of AI the first year, picking Kelly Clarkson as the winner the first time she showed up. I was real emotionally involved, loved the competition and the interaction and even called in.
The second year I hit some of the early episodes but didn't watch much until the last few weeks or so.
Haven't watched much since. The pattern became stale and it became uninteresting to keep pushing for emotional involvement for people I don't really know.
I still like the show, though almost entirely because I still have fond memories of enjoying that first season.
Getting back to the eggsalad. Sorry you did not like it. I like mine with horseradish. Just a thought---but I think eggsalad come on the scene when farmers wives kept chickens, hence lots of eggs, and since eggs are a good source of protein, it was a creative way to use surplus eggs. Maybe some cooking history buff can educate us all about things they did during WW2 and the Depression to survive.
To be serious for once.
I wonder if the threat to drop the American Idol blogging is in fact surrender to the pompous douche bags who fulminate that it is beneath the dignity of a “Law Professor.” I have made light of that it in the past but I think the enmity of the pompous gasbags and the pretentious pseudo intellectuals has influenced you to the point that you want to cut and run. American Idol is the highest rated show in America and is followed by millions of people every week. Sure it is homogenized and packaged but you get to meet people from all over the country. The story of the single mom with the child with Retts syndrome was smaltzy, but the genuine emotion of the family when they talked about that little girl felt very, very real. By watching these contestants, we see people from outside our frame of reference. I have no contact with the trailer park culture of the south and it is easy to make fun of them. But when you meet a contestant like Bucky from a prior season, you can get a feeling for what their life is like, just as someone from the rural south can get a feel for urban culture with some of the black contestants. People get to see normal Americans from a whole other world and see that they are the same as you and me. Sure it’s low brow culture, but it’s leveling, and hits a common denominator among so many people. If you can’t extract interesting and bloggable vignettes from meeting a bunch of kids from throughout the United States, then you are not as intelligent and talented as I thought you were. You can always go back to the ivory tower and the gated community and debate arcane points of the law with pretentious pettifoggers. Or wax poetic about the high brow culture of opera with constipated communists. But if you drop American Idol blogging, you will drop a big part of what makes your blog unique and interesting.
Just my 2 cents. I don't presume to try to tell you what to do. It is your blog after all. You have to decide what interests you. And your readers must do the same. Now back to the infinitesimal changes in the horse race for president that means so much to all of us.
Why didn't what occur to me? Be specific, and make reference to old posts.
That the show is aimed at an audience on the lower half of the bell-curve in intelligence who don't know real talent, culture, or music but just mindlessly swallow the gruel that is spoon fed to them by corporate drones?
Obviously, your problem is that you didn't have any liquour in the house last night and for some reason you decided to watch AI sober. Like the old song says "You're a lot less fun since I quit drinking".
Just because AI is part of American culture doesn't mean it is a good part of American culture. Are you really admitting you blog about just to keep your traffic up to your site? Are you that insecure that you subject your self to those two and a half idiots (Randy at least has half a brain), plus what ever sub-par talent is appearing on the stage, just so you have something to write about?
I wonder if the threat to drop the American Idol blogging is in fact surrender to the pompous douche bags who fulminate that it is beneath the dignity of a “Law Professor.
Like me. Excuse me if I grieve for the deplorable state of popular music. And I know very few communists who like Opera--too burgeois. Try Woody Guthrie, Bob Dylan, or REM.
You ever notice how you mention someone who you don't want to see and then you have jinxed it and that person shows up five minutes later. I hate that.
Popular music isn't affected by American Idol. Other than by having a bunch of kids get interested in music and singing. It's people having fun and singing and enjoying life. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. But it's fun. A foreign concept to dour deutsche douchbags.
American Idol hasn't changed a bit. That's the problem. The formula seems to lose potency with each iteration. They need to make changes to keep it fresh.
As for not blogging it, do you really want to totally miss out on this year's Sanjaya, or whatever campy sensation it is that bubbles out of the froth? It seems to be good for one each season.
Last year my husband watched for the first time. He heard Jordin on the audition show and said she'd win. There wasn't anybody last night that he thought would be the winner.
Paul from Toronto with his Ode to Paula was hilarious however.
You're suffering from "compassion fatigue" for American Idol, but you LOVE blogging shows. Every good marriage (you and blogging) needs "spice" or "a change of pace" from time to time. So why don't you switch to Big Brother 2008, which is starting up in a few weeks? Put a bunch of people in an artificial environment, let their true natures come out under the glare of cameras and the media, let them build alliances, and then battle it out to see who is the last one standing in the Big Brother House. Isn't this (election) year the perfect time for that kind of a show?
Trooper York: "I wonder if the threat to drop the American Idol blogging is in fact surrender to the pompous douche bags who fulminate that it is beneath the dignity of a “Law Professor.” I have made light of that it in the past but I think the enmity of the pompous gasbags and the pretentious pseudo intellectuals has influenced you to the point that you want to cut and run."
No. They don't bother me doing that. It's not a negative for me. I laugh at them. I think they're displaying their own inferiority problems. I think it's smarter to interact with pop culture and to have fun with things that are bad. I'm not going to blog about how excellent some fine thing is unless I have something unique to add. I didn't blog about going to see "Die Walkure" at the Met the other night. And I do many other things -- including reading many books -- that I never mention.
"The story of the single mom with the child with Retts syndrome was smaltzy, but the genuine emotion of the family when they talked about that little girl felt very, very real. By watching these contestants, we see people from outside our frame of reference."
It was like watching Oprah and it's a signal that the audience is older women. Now, I am an older woman, but I don't respond to the junk that is offered to pander to them/us. I'm not interested in the details of how some person I don't know loves her child/mother.
I agree that some of the characters are interesting, but nothing last night stood out.
Freder Frederson: "That the show is aimed at an audience on the lower half of the bell-curve in intelligence who don't know real talent, culture, or music but just mindlessly swallow the gruel that is spoon fed to them by corporate drones?"
And you believe I never noticed that until this year: why? Again, be specific. And are you aware that you sound like a mindless gruel swallower yourself? You're just swilling at at different trough. And as a lefty-liberal type, aren't you ashamed to sound so elitist and contemptuous of the masses?
"Obviously, your problem is that you didn't have any liquour in the house last night and for some reason you decided to watch AI sober. Like the old song says "You're a lot less fun since I quit drinking"."
Aren't you ashamed -- quite apart from lying about me -- to be so lacking in compassion for persons with substance abuse problems? I thought you were the liberal, but you come across as a lout and a snob. And not a terribly bright one either. Certainly not original.
"Are you that insecure that you subject your self to those two and a half idiots (Randy at least has half a brain), plus what ever sub-par talent is appearing on the stage, just so you have something to write about?"
Oh, you think Randy is clearly the smartest one? I wonder why. You assume you're talking to dumb people, but your slips are showing all over the place. I'm embarrassed for you at this point.
Zeb Quinn: "As for not blogging it, do you really want to totally miss out on this year's Sanjaya, or whatever campy sensation it is that bubbles out of the froth? It seems to be good for one each season."
That's kept me going in the past, but I don't know if I can do it this year. Part of it is that my apt. has a bad TV, so it's not much fun generally to watch anything. I am keeping up with "Project Runway," but I'm not blogging much about it.
Ricardo: "You're suffering from "compassion fatigue" for American Idol, but you LOVE blogging shows."
Good point.
"So why don't you switch to Big Brother 2008, which is starting up in a few weeks? Put a bunch of people in an artificial environment, let their true natures come out under the glare of cameras and the media, let them build alliances, and then battle it out to see who is the last one standing in the Big Brother House. Isn't this (election) year the perfect time for that kind of a show?"
I tried that show the first season and hated it, but the same was true for "Survivor," which I went back to and loved. Maybe...
Disclosure: I think my own intense dislike of American Idol and what it personifies and encourages is known, but I don't really care if other people want to blog it. Or not. (Obviously, the AI posts weren't huge draws for me, but who cares? There's always been other stuff to read.)
But what I really came in to ask is this:
Since when has Althouse let "the enmity of the pompous gasbags and the pretentious pseudo intellectuals" stop her from doing what she wants to do? This seems to me to be a rather over-the-top, unfair charge.
"If you can’t extract interesting and bloggable vignettes from meeting a bunch of kids from throughout the United States, then you are not as intelligent and talented as I thought you were."
Well! Talk about pompous and pretentious! Maybe she's just tired of doing it, after doing it so many years. Maybe it feels like too much of an obligation. Maybe what-the-hell ever.
So, let me get this straight: Because Althouse appears to be deciding, at least for now, that she doesn't want to watch/blog AI anymore, you appear to be deciding that she is "not as intelligent and talented" as you thought she was.
Pray tell, how does that differ in attitude from those who have long derided Althouse, dismissed her as unserious and frivolous and not all that intelligent, because she did choose to watch/blog AI?
Both attitudes seem pretty one-dimensional, narrow and unimaginative to me--and in pretty much the same way, despite the obvious difference in opinion regarding AI itself.
What next?--You, an AI deserter!?
Sheesh.
Oops! Cross-posting. Didn't expect Althouse to make an appearance mid-day, as she doesn't do that very often.
Well, as she's spoken for herself, you can ignore my pontification. Not that anyone needs permission to do that, of course.
Ann Althouse said...
"And are you aware[, Freder,] that you sound like a mindless gruel swallower yourself? You're just swilling at at different trough. And as a lefty-liberal type, aren't you ashamed to sound so elitist and contemptuous of the masses?"
Their goal is to lead and organize the masses in support of The Plan, not to be of the masses themselves.
“Well! Talk about pompous and pretentious! Maybe she's just tired of doing it, after doing it so many years. Maybe it feels like too much of an obligation. Maybe what-the-hell ever.”
I am sorry if I offended your delicate sensibilities reader, but I defer to your superior knowledge of the practice of pomposity and beg your pardon. Perhaps I over stepped my bounds by stating things so baldly, but I went to Defcon 9 at the intimation that the professor was dropping the Idol. What first attracted me to this blog was the unbelievable pomposity and pretentious of the academics and legal beagles who posted here. It reminded me of my long ago college days. But I guess such douchebaggery is infectious. Like pink-eye. I find this blog most enjoyable when it’s counterintuitive by bringing learned discourse to the most lightweight of topics. But it is a culture war out there baby. The fun police are always on the offensive. So yes, the professor would be a deserter in the fight between fun and boring sober-sided discourse. You are either with us or against us. There are no atheists in funholes. We are implementing a surge in American Idol posting that will keep the alter-cocker in althouse. Whose side are you on?
Trooper York hit a few key points that make American Idol worthwhile watching for me. It is the chance to be reminded of what an amazingly diverse population America has. I live among a pretty homogenous group of Southern whites and it's refreshing to see the remarkable mix of races and economic levels. I am always astounded at the number of people who dream the big dream of success and how totally delusional some of those dreamers are. I know I'm being emotionally manipulated sometimes but so what...they are real people and the raw material of their stories is real. Looks like I'm in it for another season.
All this waxing misty over the incredible window provided by Idol into the amazing diversity that is the American people.
And this squares with the fact that most of the discussions about AI involving mocking and making fun of, often with glee, exactly how?
Oh, never mind. That's a strictly rhetorical question.
The truth is that I really could not care less if Althouse blogs or does not blog American Idol--not even if her very next post were to be about her TIVO'd remainder of last night's show. (Which might not be such a bad idea, given the backlash, and from whom whom.) Given that, I should leave this debate to those who really do care, either way.
***
Trooper: Douchebaggery and infectious pink-eye? Well, I don't think those are as creative of insults as others I've had hurled at me, but I will confess they still made me laugh pretty damn hard.
Ann Althouse's American Idol blogging is great, American Idol is unbearable trash and Freder is a pompous douche-bag! None of these beliefs contradicts the others!
Everyone in my family watched AI but me. Until I started reading this blog. Then I started watching so I at least knew what was going on in the live blogs and comments. That was more fun than watching, so I got hooked.
Oh well. Every good thing has a beginning, a middle, and an end.
“It was like watching Oprah and it's a signal that the audience is older women. Now, I am an older woman, but I don't respond to the junk that is offered to pander to them/us. I'm not interested in the details of how some person I don't know loves her child/mother.”
The details of many of the stories are either believable or not. Some of the back stories are obviously a hamhanded bid for sympathy or advantage in the contest.
But I think it is pretty easy to scope out who is sincere and who is full of crap. The story of the little girl was genuinely moving. The love that family had for that little girl and each other shone through the screen. Watching her get ready for school every day is a better advertisement for improvements in our health care and education systems than any debate between blowdried political whores. Even the Temptress saga was very interesting. That sweet kid obviously has a hard row to hoe, but her love for her mom was lot more important to see than watching Wolf Blitzer give Obama yet another reach around. Even a hard ass like Simon was moved. You don’t have to be manipulated or even interested. I am just interested and entertained as are millions of other regular americans. Sorry if intellectuals, elitist journalists and other high browed big thinkers are disgusted by our plebian tastes. Ring dings and yodels taste good.
PS. Professor, you ain’t old, you’re just vintage!
I consider instant mashed potatoes comfort food--I guess I've got that going for me, anyway.
I find this blog most enjoyable when it’s counterintuitive by bringing learned discourse to the most lightweight of topics.
Me too. Pretentiousness does not equal intelligence, but it sure tries to mimic it.
Now, now reader no ploys for sympathy. Come over to the dark side. Embrace your inner plebian. Tater Tots. Pigs in a blanket. Corn dogs. Brawts and a brew on a summer evening listening to the game on the radio while watching the fire flies divebomb. Country music songs where the guy loses his job, his woman, and his job. Blue collar blues where we are riding down the highway looking for a job but think'n obout our wives in a summer dress with her long hair streaming back in the wind. Sweet soul music about love and it's complexities. Raw rap about what is happening right now on the streets of the city.Stupid sitcoms with a laugh lines every two minutes. Little Debbie and Tasty cakes. Put down that Balzac trilogy, shut off NPR and let's strap on our fun shoes. There’s a disco dancing contest down at the roadhouse tonight!
If you only knew, Trooper, if you only knew.
I wanted to like AI, but I just couldn't stand the music, which all sounds to me like contemporary r&b combined with a smattering of diva-style melisma and Garth Brooks. Trooper might be right about the show giving us a look at American diversity in the early episodes. Since I don't watch, I don't know. What I do know is that, later on, the performers all sound like they're auditioning to replace Peabo Bryson and Celine Dion as singers of the theme to Disney's "Aladdin."
I'll concede to Ann one thing, though: "Project Runway" is a pretty good show that I never thought I'd like. My wife got me into it. That show seems like the opposite of AI. The contestants are shooting for something far more nebulous and subjective -- something almost like art. I don't follow the fashion world, but I am now fascinated by the dreamers on the fringes of that world because they have to bring it all -- originality, aesthetic judgement, flexibility, manual skills -- and they have to pull new, unexpected ideas out of the air each week.
Whereas AI contestants just reveal what they already know how to do: Sing, sing loud, hold notes for a long time, sing in tune, look good in a stage outfit. We're discovering talent on AI, narrowly construed. We're watching talent develop under duress on PR.
There is a reason why reality shows are popular these days. It's because we see regular people in strange situations. Or doing something we always wanted to do. Every drunken idiot who picks up the mike at karaoke night at the corner bar is convinced he could be on American Idol. Every little girl who sings into her hairbrush in her room knows she could be Jordan Sparks. Or Clay Aiken. But Project Runway is more narrowly focused. But very entertaining as are the chef contests. I think the real reason for the popularity of American Idol is that the whole family can watch and root for their favorites. Not so easy to find a show you can enjoy and watch with your six year old. If the networks were smart they would find more entertainment the whole family can enjoy together. But that wouldn't be "cool" or critically acclaimed like the next sexualized soap opera or the latest incarnation of Law and Order, USDA Meat Inspector.
Oh, Christ, all this blathering and dithering. Did it occur to anyone that it is Ann's blog and she gets to blog or not blog about whatever trips her fancy? If you like or hate AI so much, get your own damn blog.
Oh, Trooper York, you left one thing off of your plebian menu- pickled pigs feet. They go great when watching NASCAR in the bar.
And you believe I never noticed that until this year: why? Again, be specific.
Because you wouldn't have sat through five seasons of every episode (at least not sober since you claim I was lying when I said this was the first time you saw it sober) if you had noticed it before. I don't care how great your need to feel connected to pop culture and "the masses", AI is an abomination that no thinking person could possibly watch, let alone watch every episode.
And as a lefty-liberal type, aren't you ashamed to sound so elitist and contemptuous of the masses?
I am only contemptuous of that portion of the masses that watches AI (and is not a teenaged girl). So, no I'm not.
I'm so glad you feel at one with the people.
Brother, we have to discuss this if we want to fight the power. Of course this is the professor's blog and she can blog what she wants to. She threw it out there that she was going to dump the Idol. I am trying to cajole her into keeping this feature that so many of us little people enjoy. Otherwise the only thing we will have is arguments between Simon and Mort about the latest bowel movements on the Court and Titus's recap of his bang a Paki tour across America.
Pickled pigs feet are of course a staple, but you have to try a roasted pig’s head which is an old Sicilian delicacy. When I was a kid the pork store would display the fresh pigs heads in the window for the grandmas to buy. I never really enjoyed that too much, but I do enjoy vastead which is sliced lung meat on a hard roll with fresh ricotta and shredded hard provolone.
"There is a reason why reality shows are popular these days. It's because we see regular people in strange situations."
This is why panel-type shows were immensely popular in the early days of television. Not to disparage "high art" literature, which has its place, but you could learn a lot more about the culture and people of the time from watching "What's My Line?" and "I've Got A Secret" than you would from reading the "high-art" literature of the same period.
The difference between those great, old panel shows and much of today's "reality" television is that those old shows had class. Unfortunately we've trashed our culture, so of course "reality" tv reflects that degradation as well as it helps worsen it. We decided that making money was not simply a pleasant result of real virtues and abilities but was a virtue in itself, a virtue above all other virtues. This is why people peddle trash. Trash sells, consequences be damned.
It's not American Idol that is mediocre, it's the mediocrity, crassness and ugliness of the media culture behind it that shines through.
John Cage was on "I've Got A Secret", and Garry Moore, the host, loved him.
Of course the old line TV panel shows had a lot more class. In fact the professor's blogs about the Idol are almost a direct lineal descendant of Kitty Carlisle trying to guess that it was Mickey Mantle when she was wearing that little black mask. But the old shows drew from a very limited pool of people in the New York area. American Idol is self selected by the people from all over the country who want to give it a shot. Not the smartest people. Not the "classiest" people. Not the most talented people for that matter. Just regular people. Everyday Americans. More true to the real state of our country than any focus group or push poll. Some would mock them. Some would despise them. Some would call them fools and jokes. But they just seem to be me to be kids with a dream.
Not so easy to find a show you can enjoy and watch with your six year old.
Maybe that's my problem. My son, 17, didn't like AI, so I had no reason to watch it. Surprising, because he and his friends all sing. But they like Stephen Sondheim, who is chosen by few AI performers.
He and I agree on old movies at Christmas, "The Office," "30 Rock" and not much else. He doesn't like sports or any movie that has violence or something scary. Although, curiously, he loves "Kill Bill." We used to be able to watch Sponge Bob together, but he outgrew it. I didn't, but he doesn't realize that.
"Just regular people. Everyday Americans."
I see enough of those everyday. Many people watch television to escape. It is nice to see something or someone extraordinary, isn't it?
Trooper,
Headcheese.
I worked at the deli in the grocery store many years ago and people actually bought that stuff. yuck.
Would I take a job watching and writing about "American Idol" for $200 an episode? Of course not!
Simon Cowell was faced with a similar choice; "can I sit here for another season listening to these ... to these ... to these ... *sobs* "for another 15 million?" no pause whatever, "YES!"
Sure Palladian, but we live in New York where you step into the United Nations when you hop on the F train. But for a lot of people, there were a lot of different people to meet. The smiling happy Egyptian guy who loved America and loved singing could be a revelation to a lot of people who don't know that guy as the dude who sells you a donut in the morning. The single mom whose whole family rallies around her sick child are something shitheads who spout off about single moms should see don't ya think. Slutty young girls with big tits who can sing, or not, should not be ignored. Winsome gay lads like the Hispanic kid who sang salsa are there for you young fellars who are batting from the other side of the plate. You can catch up with those "extraordinary" people on PBS. If you don't think they are so extraordinary, just ask them, they will tell you that they are so, at great length.
There are no atheists in funholes.
This rendered me speechless for several minutes. I'm just hoping Titus doesn't at his 2 cents here.
I don't have a dog in this race, as it were, since I've never watched AI and only one bona fide "reality" show (first season of "Hell's Kitchen").
But I did skim Althouse entries on AI and came close to watching AI as a result. (Plus, I had a friend calling me every week, in exasperation over Sanjaya.)
All I can say is, if AI has lost Ann, they've lost the nation....
Of course there are no atheists in funholes. You have to believe in love baby. Keep the faith and keep on pushing, so to speak.
(Holes may differ by user. No batteries required. Unless you like that sort of thing).
"Why didn't what occur to me? Be specific, and make reference to old posts.
8:53 AM"
Sorry, Ann, I thought it was obvious. You mentioned a whole series of reasons why the show is unsatisfying to you now. You're supposed to react this way - you're supposed to react that way - they prod you to bond.
I agree with you, but I had the same reaction last year, and the year before as well. So I was just wondering why you didn't come to the same conclusion at the beginning of last season.
Does it just take a certain amount of repetition to make it old?
I stopped watching 3 years ago. Randy got fat again, Paula is still Paula and Simon has gone soft. Anyway why watch the same ol same ol when the debates are going on. Real shots to the face and groin just like the WWF. American Idol is so 2004. Jay Paul, Atlanta
What's your explanation for dropping the podcast on Sunday nights?
This blog seems to lack continuity.
Stop it Ruth Anne!!! We don't want any sensible solutions.
Oh yes, please please please set up a coffee-house, because, you know, there aren't enough places as it is....to spout off, and utter every little thing that comes into my brain, that I think is so interesting and must see in print !
Trooper York,
I see we have similar tastes in cusine. Pigs head and vastead are great. I also like souse ahd head cheese, preferably laced with red pepper flakes. I always liked a good listen sandwich every now and then, but you have to work in the ghetto to get those.
I am old enough to remember bars that had those large, barrel shaped, wide mouth jars with delicasies like pigs feet, large dill pickles, and other pickled items. Hard boled eggs and beer go well too.
I take my previous comment back about it being her blog. Besides Mort and Simon, the rest of us old guys would talk about our own ailments.
Fred frederson said:
“That the show is aimed at an audience on the lower half of the bell-curve in intelligence who don't know real talent, culture, or music but just mindlessly swallow the gruel that is spoon fed to them by corporate drones?”
While you may be right- though I have not seen studies on the matter, people from all levels of the bell-curve seek and actually enjoy mindless entertainment. For example, watching golf on TV is about as stimulating as watching paint dry, yet avid golf fans and others will sit for hours watching it. People thought the gong show was ridiculous, yet it had a great following until it ran its course.
I would bet that even you, though you would not admit it, seek some mindless entertainment at times. Hell, I’d never admit it either.
Good point, Maxine. One is enough. How about we all just come over to your place?
I'm afraid I only watch the first few episodes every year, where they trot out the untalented and the crazy. I rapidly loose interest and by the time they do the theme nights "everyone sings a pet shop boys song night" I am long gone.
"do you really want to totally miss out on this year's Sanjaya, or whatever campy sensation it is that bubbles out of the froth?"
Oh God yes. Please by all that is holy let me totally miss out on this year's Sanjaya.
I prefer eating my brats and drinking my beer in front of more cerebral entertainment. Like Celebrity Rehab which was on VH1 last night. You don't know entertainment until you get to see an American Idol runner up throwing up in toilet after a night on the town. Just as an aside, is it pretty much required to get all liquored and stoned up on your way to rehab?
That the show is aimed at an audience on the lower half of the bell-curve in intelligence who don't know real talent, culture, or music but just mindlessly swallow the gruel that is spoon fed to them by corporate drones?
Oh you're a humorless, uptight, fun-less ass.
I thought the scolds were supposed to be on the right....
So here we are the day after the second night of Idol and the Professor did not blog it as of 11am on Thursday. She missed a pretty entertaining show. And one that was surprising relevant to the Althouse blog. After all, hdhouse showed up to audition and he even wore his opera cape. And Feder showed off his torn out fingernail collection that was his souvenir purchase at the Guantamo Bay gift show. What are the chances that two of our most conspicuous commenters would both try out for Idol? Only in America
Then there was the feisty little gal who lost half her face in a car accident. She won’t go far in the next round, but it was great to see her optimism and drive in coming back from such a messed up place.
How about that big goofy nerdy kid who was not much of a singer or a dancer but a decent respectful young man. Although they let him dance and he did look foolish, they generally weren't as cruel as they have been in prior years.
What about that kid that said he didn't kiss a girl because he was saving it for marriage. His dad was seriously deranged. Reality check pal, your son hasn't kissed a girl but I bet he lip locked a couple of dudes under stands before the big game. The kid even had two rare clumbers!
Funniest line of the night goes to Ryan Seacrest:
I already kissed a girl today.
The girl who did the spot on imitation of Britney Spears was pretty cute. But we can't really judge her impersonation until we get a look at her cootch.
Paula got out from behind the desk to dance when hdhouse sang his ode to Simon. But she wasn't too steady on her pins. Maybe she needs a drink or two to loosen up.
I guess watching Idol is too boring and low brow for the elitists these days. They have moved on to more pressing matters. Like men sitting when they pee.
FWIW, I do like Ruth Anne's idea. It would be nice to have somewhere to go after watching the show.
That's because you two are such girls! Always coming up with a resonable solution. We want to fight and break things. Arrrrrggggghhhhh!
I think Ann should live-blog the Packer game Sunday.
That would be too disappointing for her. She wouldn't want to chronicle the Packers devastating loss to the Giants.
I laugh so hard that I really can't watch it for more than a few minutes - seriously, it is not healthy I don't think to violently laugh for very long. Pleasant and long laughs are quite healthy but there is something insidious about harsh, derisive laughter. I am reminded of city Courts and committment hearings in which the Public gathers to snicker and make sport of mentally deranged people - raucous laughter is not generally tolerated by Judges but smirking, elbowing, leering and muted jeering is - tsk, tsk - the occaisonal talent seems almost a relief when even the most proper of people have deeply suppressed the hoots and howls of derision over the Fools that present themselves on this show
Two days have passed and still no blog about the idol. America waits and wonders.
American Idol returns tonight on Tuesday January 22, 2008! Will the professor spurn her duty to contribute to the cultural zeitgeist and not blog the Idol? Will she continue her boring interest in opera and the operatic posturing of the Presidential candidates? Will she analyze the next hand job the press will give Obama? The next insane commercial from the Huckster? Will Theo pick up his toys and go home never to darken our door again? Will Britney flash her cootch when she gets in a limo? ( Nothing to do with the Idol, I just want to know). Stay tuned to this thread. Same Bat Time. Same Bat Channel.
Its one hour and ten minutes before the next segment of American Idol. Will the professor relent and blog this cultural milestone. Will she instead concentrate on politics, opera and other cultural millstones? The suspense is killing me. I have to run out to the bodega for some beers, nachos, and other snacks.
First two auditions were interesting. A hot arrogant russian bitch and what looks like an ex-gang banger with a cute little kid who can bring it. Neither will last in the group sing off but a good start. Next the wierdo's. (Not refering to Paula).
That Chris Mitchel guy sounds like TO after Antonio Pierce hit him in the nuts.
Valerie Reyes, nice tits, bad voice."Take at look at me now." Cat screechs at the end. Best tits so far though. Take a look at her tits now.
A mexican and a mime. John McCain's immigration policy is on american idol. He wants the mexicans in, he just doesn't want to talk about it.
Oh no a Withney Houston song. Not so good. Actually terrible. I think she is going to wig out. "Bobby where my crack pipe at"
Seven songs in a row. Tears. Craptastic to the max.
I saw the next guy Christopher at the West 4th St subway station. He was singing until he went into the dope fiend lean. Ouch.
Oh they are cursing now. Mugging and singing to the camera. Free style crapola.
Giant Seacrest Oreo alert.
Two girls who are obessed with Simon. The judge not the Althouse commenter. Although I am sure there are girls who love our Simon too! Wow the sister is sitting on Simons lap. English though so there doesn't seem to be a wood situation. No squirming. Good Song. Sister bitched her out.
Jaeger, Jaeger, Jaeger. Beer. Jaeger, Jaeger, Jaeger. Beer. Belch.
Repeat.
Very jewish dude is next. Mazeltov brother. Stage mom with heavy New York accent. We need enough dudes for a minyan. Singing Ben E. King.
Not the right choice dude.
Think comedy. Cause that was a tragedy. Eleven time loser.
Big fat guy in white t-shirt. Oh shit I auditiion and I didn't even know it.
Giant New Age Freak. Look at his nails. Dude. I don't know. I need to switch to the hard stuff. Wiskey. Now!!!!!!!
NO, no his own biographical song.
Torture. Geneva convention must apply to this shit. Get the ACLU on the phone.
Jaeger, jaeger, jaeger. Beer. Beer. Wiskey. Jaeger. Jaeger. Jaeger. Beer.
Big fat guy in white t-shirt. Oh shit I auditiion and I didn't even know it.
LOL
(Is this thing on?)
Sorry for the interruption in commenting. The giant sized new age freak with the huge green fan Alberto Retardo freaked me out so much I just started drinking seriously to numb the pain. Only important audition was the Irish tatoo girl Carly who can sing but is obviously being set up for a fall. American is not ready for a pretty girl with a giant tatoo that covers her entire arm.
The professor couldn't be bothered to comment on the Idol today. Very, very disappointing. I might have to reevaluate my participation here.
I did watch the show, if it's any consolation. I just don't have anything interesting to say. It's all been said. There's nothing new.
Well I feel somewhat appeased.
Sorry I didn't simu-blog, but I recorded it and will pick up the thread. Plus drinking in the morning is always alot of fun!!!!
Oooooh. Young Michael Jackson looking guy. Or maybe Dwyane in What's Happening. OOOOh. Can't sing. On his knees. He wants to be the black Clay Aiken. Good luck with that one.
Was there anything interesting in last night's show?
Who cares if some man's wife has a baby?
I was a little interested in that one girl that Simon said a lot of people were going to find annoying. Abstinence girl.
Kelly Pickler impersonation. Nasty little twist. Droopy bra strap. Waitress who complains about her tips. Screamer. Thank god she has no talent or we will have to meet all of her criminal relatives.
Message board love. Nerds in heat. Scary. Imagine the horror is two of the commenters on Althouse hooked up. Well Doyle and Titus would be a cute couple.
Bow chickie wow wow. Bow chickie wow woo. Two huge siblings who are belting it out. Won't make it past the next round but good comic relief.
Now a bunch of quick shots. Guy in kilt. Elvis dude. Hairy guy with no shirt. Freaky girl. Girl with bozo hair and bizzaro Tina Turner vibe.
Celibate cheerleader. An oxymoron is there ever was one. Good little Catholic girl... named Virginia..don't you know you Catholic girls start much too late...Oh her name is Amy Kathryn Flynn. Nevermind.
Those cheerleader lips are very pouty...no botox at such a young age....makes your thoughts turn to...ah, I'll be back in a minute.
Annoying shanky blonde pro singer who wants to show street cred by singing Billie Holiday. It reminds of the old days at Cousin's on Court St. where they used to have jazz every night. There would always be a skinny skanky blonde singing Billie Holiday and Dinah Washington songs. Baby, give it up. You don't have the experiance or the gravitas to pull it off. You need to be an old heavy set black woman who has seen some pain to pull off that song. Not Mary Kate Olsen's skanny older sister. It's Ann Coutler on American Idol. And her name is London. Ecch.
Cute air force pilot girl who flys big transtports. I guess she's got the Bat Boy slot this year. Good enough voice to get through but they pass. But she seemed as good as some of the others they put through. Damm liberal judges don't support the troops. They will be sorry when that cloverfield monster comes and they need the army guys. But I bet Simon can't wait to be abducted by aliens. He seems like the type to enjoy an anal probe. Not that theres anything wrong with that.
Now it's Aretha's turn. At least that’s her name. Big, big rack. But not in a very attractive way. You know how some girls have a big rack, but it’s just not a turn on. Very droopy and just not what you want to stick you head in between. Not so big voice. Can’t believe that they don’t want her. Sad really. She left the stage muttering to herself. Sort of like Fred Thompson
Crazy screaming black dude. Claiming that these people don't know what they are talking about. If they knew anything they will all vote for him. I get it now. It's Barack Obama's id. They have been hiding it in South Carolina.
The dude is singing that Dreamgirls
song. Pal it's a "DREAMGIRLS" song. Man up baby. Lose the red pants.
Okay, my wife and I watched the last 10 minutes of Idol last night and she lost her mind when she saw them bring the newborn baby to the audition. How many people were there? How many germs? What the hell were they thinking? The guy seemed very nice and polite in a southern shit won't melt in my mouth way but he is dumber than a box of rocks. How could his wife even walk after popping out this rug rat? Some people will do anything to be on TV.
Let's hope next week's auditions will be better. Only the pouty lipped cheerleader will make it to the final 26. At least of the ones we actually saw. I think they hide some of the good people so you don't get tired of them too quickly. That was Kelly Pickler's problem. The first time you visit Dogpatch it can be interesting, but after a while it starts to grate on you. So the best plan is to lay low for a while and peak later. But Kelly did ok. She managed to get new twin peaks out of it. Not bad.
This may be Althouse's longest ongoingly*--active comments thread ever.
(I'd happened to put this thread in "e-mail followup" mode on the day the post went up, and it's been merrily visiting my inbox ever since.)
***Yeah. I know this is not a word.
Ssssssh reader. We are hanging out here commenting on Idol. Maybe through out the entire season. We might be going for the record. Most posts by one idiot on one thread. Let it be a secret for a while. Let's see who catchs on. So far the two smartest broads (you and Ann) have caught on. Throw in a comment now and then. I know you want to love the Idol.
P.S. I hope you don't mind that I called you a broad. It's a term of endearment here in Brooklyn. All the best.
Whoops! Sorry, I already referenced it and you on the Dolly Parton thread, before you posted this (or at least before it arrived in my e-mail).
But don't worry. I think most people ignore me, anyway, and especially on pop culture threads.
"Broad" doesn't bother me, unless maybe it were to be used by someone like--oh let me think of a quick obvious example--rhhardin.
I'm pretty sure I'm enjoying this thread way more than I could ever enjoy the actual series.
No problem reader. I don't think reading comprehension is a strong suit for most Althouse regulars.
Blake, the most fun would be to tivo the show and read the comments as the show goes by. My goal is to make you pee your pants.
Except for hd. He can pee his pampers.
Hey, Trooper--I think you should feel further encouraged!--surely you've noticed that there is no debate liveblogging (or even thread) of tonight's MSNBC Republican debate. I mean, how much new can be said in and about that reality/competition show?
Truly, this is not snark, but rather observation. (Fundamentally, philosophically & etc., I don't have a gripe with her choice of what to, or not to, blog, anyway, debates included.) I just thought you might get a kick out of that, and--perhaps--feel a bit more "appeased" as well.
That said, carry on, Troop ... I must say that your persistence in this thread has, in fact, sparked my interest. (
Though--sorry--not the point of my wanting to watch "Idol." What can I say?
So it goes.)
By the way, speaking of tonight's debate (which I did watch, and will doubtless re-watch, at least in part), I was reminded of nothing so much as that scene from "Broadcast News" wherein Albert Brooks, as Aaron, says ""I say it here, it comes out there" and then, swacked, ends up singing ""I can sing while I read! I am singing and reading both!"" to the tune of Midnight Train to George, which is playing in the background (because he can LISTEN, too! Among other things, the multi-tasker.).
Oh, sigh. Brilliance.
Well reader I certainly respect your intelligence and your posts often come from an angle I haven't thought of, so I value them even if I rib you now and again. I think the professor blogs on whatever strikes her fancy and we comment in the same manner. The point I was trying to make in my tirade is that American Idol is perfect blogging material especially in the early rounds when you so many different crazy people from all over the country trying to become a singing star. Sure a lot of it is phony and low rent, but some of it is great fun. I am the kind of guy who loves new things, but won't throw old favorites over the side no matter what anyone else has to say about it. That's why I still have my members only jacket. (I just have to hide it from my wife). If you watch next weeks show in concert with my silly simu-blog, I bet I can make you laugh. Just don't forget the Jaeger.
PS reader, I hope you are following the Wire on HBO. They have a whole sub-plot about the newspaper business on the Baltimore Sun that I think you would really enjoy. The Wire is proably the best show ever made for television, just extremely dense and layered. You might have trouble picking up some of it if you haven't followed it from the begining. But the news subplot is new from this season and is pretty interesting.
This is shocking, I know (hell, believe me, even I find it so), but we have neither any premium movie channels (including HBO) or TIVO. This is not some sort of statement, it's just how things happened to play out. All this technology, but no TIVO, and no digital cable, and no premium movie channels.
I have been dying to see The Wire, and it has been recommended to me, many times, by people IRL and IVL.
I'm pretty sure I'll end up buying the series, sooner or later--although, that's what we keep saying about satellite and TIVO (or TIVO-like) technology. I do not know where the time goes.
Anyway, I was serious, Trooper--you should keep going here. Wouldn't it be funny to still "be meeting like this" a year hence?
I mean, I don't know about you, but I'm feeling awfully furtive.
Right on secret squirrel. If you get a chance to get the DVD's from net flicks it would be fun. David Simon who is the show runner was a reporter in Baltimore and he is settling scores with his editors and the powers that be. I think that with your news background you will really enjoy it. Plus if you know someone with HBO they have this HBO on demand where you can see all the old episodes. Just be warned that it is very, very violent and the language and sex scenes are pretty rough. So don't let you kid hang around when you are watching it. The only more sexually explicit and demeaning fare on premium cable is that sex tape with Seacrest and Cowell but that's a subject for a different post.
That saucy minx is trying to lure me out with a post about bears. I know she is trying to get me to continue with my E True Hollywood series on Gentle Ben. What's next, another squirrel story. Well played professor, well played.
Stay strong, Troop.
Hey, Trooper, I'm getting ready to run out to the store to pick up stuff for some people who don't get around much anymore. The kids are doing deliveries tomorrow morning. Can I get you anything while I'm out? Any little luxury or small comfort, or a useful doodad of some type?
I'm good reader thanks. It is always good to get your kids in the habit of helping the older folks who need a hand. I am just markng time till my next idol post. But I might pull a fast one manana. See if you can figure it out. All the best.
I didn't forget Idol fans. I am too busy doing W-2s to simul-blog so I will pick up the replay when I get home. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.
We're counting on you, Troop!
Still up to your neck in biz-related stuff? What a pain, I know.
Hey, I appolgize for dropping this thread. I was super busy and couldn't simublog the auditions. But I caught the final 24 show and it looks good. I am glad they got rid of crying sleep in his car kid.
What a dope. He can't stop crying. It was as if Hillary had a quitar.
Thank God he is gone.
The Assuie soul singer dude is very confident and has an express ride to the final four when he will be the surprise dumpee in the Chris Daughtry role.
The rocker nurse can't sing for shit. I mean she can scream pretty good, but think of her trying to do standards or Motown. She might be able to handle the early rounds, but is a sure elimination.
Idol seems to carry the gay guys only so far, so the young boy/men will go for a while but be pushed out sooner or later. Although if they stick it out long enough, they can Clay Aiken it for keeps.
PS. did you know that there is a Barry Manilow store in the Bellagio? It scared the crap out of me. Especially the row after row of Barry Manilow bobble head dolls. Someone slamed a book down on the counter and about fifty dolls all started to bob. In the same exact direction. In the same exact way. I left and immeadiately went to church.
The cute little asian midget chick got in. Good stuff. A happy ending. Not the first happy ending she was ever invovled in, but great none the less.
PS. Reader, I don't know if you are still following this, but you haven't been around. Hope all is well. I haven't been tracking all the threads while I was away. Hope to see you commenting soon.
The hot black chick with the Get Christie Love haircut and the big tits was good. But I think she can get annoying after a while, ya know. Too cheerfull. Too there all the time. She needs to dial it back a little.
That Irish ringer chick is the subject of a lot of jabber because she had a recording contract. She has had the big build up, but she won't make. Sorry. Tatoo chicks like that are not in the cards. And she didn't sound all that great.
My wife and I were praying for the plus sized black girl. Every year needs a big girl so she can wear an outfit that the girls will then come to my store to try to buy. Last year it was an AbbyZ top and a Igigi dress that were super hot when they were worn on the show. Lets put her in Kionna or Olvia Harper and we will be good to go.
I was sorry that the single mom girl was sent off. She sounded just as good as some of the others but it was weird how they said her father was killed. In an accident?
Murdered? WTF.
The 16th year old cheerleader with the pouty lips was also sent off. Thank God for that. Tons of dads can now watch Idol without having to put a pillow on their lap if you know what I mean. Jeeez.
The big fat black guy was sent off. He and his sister seemed like great people. You know, I wish MTV or VH1 would do a show with a bunch of these guys. You know regular people. Not model looking bartenders and hot life guards. Regular folks from all over the country. I think it would be pretty interesting.
The single dad gang banger dude was sent off. But that’s ok. He is on the Wire next week. I think Omar shoots him with the rest of Marlo's crew.
Isn't it funny that one of the chief villains on the Wire is named after Marlo Thomas. That girl.
Cool.
I think that it is safe to say that the winner is someone we haven't really seen a lot of yet. They tend to lay back in the weeds.
Otherwise america just tires of them.
Hey, I blogged about that episode. Why are you still commenting here?
Because I want to see how far I can take it. Maybe a whole season on one comment thread. I don't care if anyone other then those in the know are hip to story. If a comment falls in the forest, is it still funny?
Thanks for blogging the Idol though. I will pop a comment or two there too. But this thread is Idol central baby.
Where's Reader_iam?
'cause it's the Trooper York super-secret sub-blog!
It’s like the worm that they put in Chekhov’s ear in the Wrath of Khan. It burrows into your brain until eventually you go insane.
OK, today it's the guys.
First up David Hernandez. My wife said he looks like the guy who played Miquel in OZ. Which if they threw him naked into solitary with his hog hanging out, well Titus would be blogging this.
He sings in the Midnight Hour. Otis Redding is turning over in his grave. The fat retard kid in the Commitments did a much better job.
Next up this dude Chikezie. Simon can't say his name. Jacuzzi...no wait Chacheeszy...no wait...try again...Chimpeezie...NO,NO dude that's how they got AL Campanis...take it back....He's wearing a red lesuire suit thing..looks like Issac on the Love Boat when he was off duty and pickin up chicks...snap your finger...point...."Solid."
David Cook, balding come over rocker guy. It's not cool even if you dye you combover red or purple dude. He sings happy together. Some jabber about Simon's quote that it was a "Bit worthy." Listen dude if it was any good it would be in the Bit Maelstrum....yeah shout out to Blake...check out his blog it is great...and where's reader_iam. Is she tied up in Freders basement? Will we see her in the next episode of CSI Iowa? Did she have a fight with the professor as Maxine implied in some of her ravings last week? Is mommy patrol keeping her from blogging. Enquiring minds want to know.
Singer waiter guy Jason Yeager gives a really tepid song. The back
story is that he is a single dad. They just didn't tell us his son is Damien. The kid is in the audience. Contemplating throwing Paula off a balcony. Well maybe that was me. But he is one scary little anti-christ. Let's hope his dad gets eliminated so he can go back to toturing small animals and stealing panties off clothslines.
Now the phony Axel Rose guy. Robbie Carrico. He puts on the persona of a hard edged rock guy. But then he lets it slip that he toured with Britney Spears. Dude you got beat out by K-fred. What a pussy. I am sure Britney must of flashed him her cootch but he couldn't seal the deal. Loser. Off with his head and greasy bandanna.
David Archuleta is a 17 year old kid who is going the humble just happy to be hear smiling shy route.
Hey whats her name rode that to third place last year. But I think it's going to wear out a lot faster this time around. You have to have a new gimick if you want to get those votes. Although some of the tweener girls might like him, there is a lot of competition for that slice of the pie this year. Man up and sing dude. Stop with the humility.
Now Danny Noriega has a Liza Minnelli haircut and makes Titus seem butch. Not that theres anything wrong with that. But he sings Jail House Rock. There a whole shithouse full of stuff that's wrong with that. He should have picked a David Cassidy or Bobby Sherman song. It was sixties night after all and the tweeners would love him if he went that route. Got all bitchy with Simon at the end which was pretty amusing. No chance to win but I bet they keep him around till the top ten.
Luke Menard sings the Midnight Cowboy Glenn Campbell song in a very boring manner. He is just cannon fodder and is out this week.
They wasted a slot on this guy. Why not put in a freakazoid dude like the big black guy. He would have been entertaining at least. Too bland. Polenta for you Mario Cuomo fans.
Colton Berry sings Suspicious Minds. What is it with gay guys and Elvis songs tonight. Not a good performance and he is very over the top. I think he has a chance to be out. Should have went with a tenny bopper song. And get a fucking hair cut. Jeeeez.
Next up is this Garret Haley who is channeling either Lief Garret or Peter Frampton. My wife thinks he looks a little like Rod Stewart. I would have chosen Handbags and Gladrags for him to sing. But he was very forgetable. But he should be around another week on looks alone as the little girls will love him.
Now this Jason Castro dude with the dreads and a guitar. He is a dead ringer for John Travolta. A young John Travolta. No wonder the professor likes him. She has a thing for Italian guys. Hmmmm.
By the way, a lot people have been telling me lately that I look like John Travolta. In Hairspray. The bastards.
Last up is Michael Johns the arrogant guy. He is a soul type singer who tries the Doors' Light my Fire. I thought he should have channeled Tom Jones. Missed a bet with that one. Or even the Who. Why doesn't anyone sing a Who song.
Anyway he is the early favorite but is fated for the Chris Daughtry early elimination chair. But he will have a run.
Next the broads. I am really am going to vote about twenty thirty times for the Plus model girl. I need her sporting new clothes every week to drum up business. You go girl.
First off is Kristy Lee Cook who is the blond skinny horse girl. Very forgetable. She was singing Rescue Me. I was waiting for Dennis Leary to come in and hose her down. Jeeez she sucks. Lets hope she's out.
Next the plus model Joanne Borbella from Jersey. I am really rooting for her. Shit. She's not any good. Butchers Dionne Warwick. Not good. A big girl like her should belt out a song. Why no up tempo songs. It doesn't look good for the plus sized community.
Next up is another interchangable blond, Aliana Witaker. Good but bland. Ho hum. Great if your getting a ho hummer under the bleachers, but I went to fridge for another beer.
Then we have the rock and roll nurse bitch. Man she sucks. Claims she is going to ditch the Janis vibe but switchs to a John Lee Hooker blues rocker. What a dork. She is getting real old real fast.
Let's hope she gets bounced but I think shes got the Bucky Covington meth lab vote going on. Let's party like it's 1972.
Then there is Amy Davis who is very hot and very boring all at the same time. She sings a Connie Stevens song, Where the Boys Are. She is the top candidate to have some pic's on my space of her sucking someone's rod like former favorite Anatolla Barberini or whatever her fucking name was. But she might be out first. Unless she blew John McCain.
Brooke White who is very very white and is a nanny goody two shoes. She is pretty annoying too!
She should have stuck with the Carole King vibe. But God forbid she has to sing a Melanie song. I think I would reach through the set and kill her. I can't aford to get diabetes at this stage of my life. She is a judge favorite and is sure to go forward.
Then there is Alexandrea Lushington who the professor seems to like. She does seem to have a lush-ing-ton sort of body dressed like a mime from Shields and Yarnell. Sings Spinning Wheel which is one of the few up tempo songs of the night. Passable job but no great shakes. Another judge fave who should be pushed forward.
Big whoops.
I think reader_iam went into the reader protection program. She is now in Alaska in Hillary's old job at the salmon factory. Ssssssh. Mums the word.
The next blonde in the program is Kady Malloy who does a killer Britney Spears impression. The old cute Britney. Not the drunken slob who flashes her cootch. Paula does that impression. Or maybe Britney is doing a Paula impression. I don't know, I lose track of all this shit. Anyway her song is very ordinary and she needs to pump it up if she wants to go forward. Gives a very good evil eye to the judges though and that should still count for something.
Then there is Asiah Epperson who had her father die just before the show started. When my father died I couldn't eat or sleep for about three weeks. But I'm not show people so what are you gonna do? She sings Janis which is a bold choice and does ok although there was a lot of shouting. Good marks from the judges. Hey what the hell do I know?
I know that Ramiele Maulbay is one sweet little dumpling. Tiny but with a big voice. She sings the Dusty Springfield classic, "You don't have say you love me, just leave the money on the night stand." For some reason the back up singers are throwing in strange riffs and phrases like "me so horny" and "fucky sucky five dolla GI-joe." Now that ain't right. I think this little Philipino doll will make it to the final four.
Last and least is the over hyped Carly Smithson who owns a tattoo parlor. She should get to work on her resume for TLC if she keeps this up. She is a former child star from Ireland and reminds me of all the Irish waitresses I used to hit on back in the day. You know the difference between an Irish girl and a helicopter. You seldom meet someone who had a ride in a helicopter. Hope she's out soon. Over sold and not that good.
At the end of Carly's time with the judges there is a weird argument about "mike" technique where Paula starts to jerk off her mike in a back and forth motion that is really disturbing. Doesn't she have better technique than that? No wonder she doesn't have a boyfriend. I guess giving good hand jobs is a lost art since bj's have been popularized by Bill Clinton. Back in the sixties, the most a good girl would give up was a good kiss and a tug. But where are the skills in this technique. To quote Dave Attell, "Girls, girls what are you're stepfather's teaching you these days. Jeeeez."
Ok it's the elimination show. Seacrest calls the hairy Leif Garret kid to the stage. Named Garret.
Garret out.
Damn that's cold Seacrest. No warning, just tossed him out like a pick-up that started to bore Titus. Gone. And of course, he has to sing a farewell tune which actually sucks pretty bad. Better luck next time kid.
So Seacrest calls pony girl up and she really sucked. But they are not going to do the same thing two times in a row, so she is safe. They call out the Amy Davis girl.
She's pretty hot but can't sing for shit. She butchers "Where the Boys Are" as her family looks on. OH WOW! It looks like Amy's got two mommies. Awesome. She should have worked that for some votes.
Bye bye Amy.
You young girls in the audience should take a lesson from this. Stay away from Connie Francis songs and don't stay in the Holiday Inn at JFK. (Obscure Connie Francis joke).
Next up is a Paula video from Randy's new album. Scarier words could never be spoken. Ok, maybe a Christopher Hitchens video essay on a Rosie O'Donnell Christmas special might be close, but Jeeez.
Lots of billowing red ribbons, Paula in tight clothes singing like a robot. Good luck with that.
Mercifully it ends after about half an hour. Yikes.
Next they call out two girls and one of them is our favorite plus size model Joanne. I think she might get the chop.
Yes, she's out. Damn. It's just discrimination. Against beautiful black woman. Against plus sized beautiful black woman. You pigs. You fascists! ATTICA, ATTICA,ATTICA
ATTICA!!
Then it's time for the final cut. They bring out Ca-cheese-z and Colton who actually combed his fucking hair today. Ca-cheese-z gets him in a Vulcan neck pinch. I think if they call him, he will just squeeze Colton's neck bones and claim his spot. Nope, it's Colton. His family looks on as he sings his farewell. Wow, they have dead eyes. Sharks eyes. Like a dolls eyes....Jeeez this is scary.
I hope the kid moves to the big city to get into waitressing and musical theater. Good luck to you gay Elvis, get away from Mom and Dad as soon as you can. Because I looked into your Dad's eyes and I got two words for you: John List.
I am not blogging live, but will wait till later and think about it. Since no one is tagging along, it can wait for the tivo. I do think I will break the record for most consecutive posts by one idiot on one thread in the history of Althouse. Hey, we all have to have a goal.
There's a holdup in the net
Brooklyn's broken out the lights!
There's a traffic jam in comments
That's backed up by lesser lights
There's an althouse short a wit!
Our grammar’s turned to shit!
Reader_iam where are you?!
(also posted up the blog)
Maybe reader_iam split because Ann's not doing AI blogging any more.
It's up to you to get her back!
No reader_iam hated the Idol, something else is up but it could be just the stress of everyday life. Luckily no one else is paying attention to this thread so we can just kick back and ruminate.
First up is the Assuie Michael Johns who talks about tennis and sings Fleetwood Mac which is just about the best way to kill the interest of the tween girls who dominate the voting in this competition. He is too old for that demographic and he will be out before the final four. He needs to take the soul train and stay on it all the way if he wants to last. The judges do their best to prop him up so he should make it through.
Next is dreadlock guy with the guitar who does the same thing as last week. He tries the Bee Gees as Bread would have sang it and it dosen't fly. The judges turn on him and he seems honestly bewildered. Dude you need to learn to kowtow better. Should be ok though.
Luke Menard tries a Queen soon which was very difficult and did ok with it but so what. He is very forgetable and could be out this week, although Seacrest calls him Dawson's Creek which is wrong in so many ways. You can't make some one cool to the tweeners by cited a popular show from ten years ago. That's like calling him Manyard G. Krebs. Jeeez. Cannon fodder is might be out this week or the latest next.
Robbie Carrico comes out with the phony Guns and Roses act and butchers Hot Blooded. Dude, even Axel Rose dosen't want to be Axel Rose anymore. Everyone tells him he is a phony except for Paula who is reliably incoherent. Greasy and dumb is a bad way to go through life dude. Wash your hair man.
Next is Danny Noriega who sings the Carpenters and tries to dail back his attitude but he just can't help himself. He jokes with Simon who asks if he could talk without the swinging of his neck like those guys in the movie reviews on "In Living Color." But he just can't help himself. He will slide because there are so many others who suck worse than he does. At singing that is.
David Hernandez rocks it with a great version of Pappa was a Rolling Stone that the Band really gets into. I think that is a big part of the process, if the band digs the song you can take it to another level. Good choice.
Jason Yeager sings the Dobbie Brothers and color me dubious. He gives off a really strange vibe, I don't know what it is but he seems really old and out of place here. I think he is out this week. I hope his son Damien isn't around to take vengance. I do plan to through holy water on the TV when he is eliminated. Just to be safe.
Chikezie does a Ray Charles song that he id's as a Donny Hathaway tune. It's funny how these kids give a song to the latest person to cover it and not the guy who originated it. I can hear next years group saying "I am singing Imagine by David Archuleta."
David Cook is freaking me out man. He is too old for this. I have a good friend who still bartends and plays blues guitar in a band. He's fifty like me but has long hair and keeps the hours of a 20 year old. His fiancé is 25. Sometimes you have to put away the things of a child. Oh and his hobby is crosswords. And drinking tea. And knitting. Cool.
Finally, little David Archuleta does a great soulful version of Imagine. Very nice and the little tweeners screech like he was Hannah
Montana. But be wary of peaking too soon. He is the Barack Obama of American Idol. I think one of the girls has a picture of him dressed like Osama Ben Ladin. To be continued although he is far and away the early favorite.
After reading this mess that I blew through this morning, I come to one conclusion:
I can't spell for shit.
Sorry teacher.
Hey, we're not here for the spelling, d00d.
Blake your movie reviews and Oscar coverage was spot on. Good stuff.I still think Nichols was the best tv that James Garner ever did. Except for the Beef commercials. I admit it, when I see those steaks and burgers sizzling on the grill, I get hard. And I am not afraid to admit it.
I'm pretty sure that's not what they're talking about when they talk about "the love that dare not speak its name".
Hey, you left out the salient point about "Nichols". It's a western but Garner rides a motorcycle in it! My Dad told me about that series.
Garner's self-proclaimed favorite!
Now the ladies.
Carly is up and guess what her secret is? SHE"S IRISH AND SHE WORKS IN A BAR!!!! WOW.
She sings Crazy on you by Heart and does an ok rendition. The judges are trying to rehablitate her since the controversy seems to have blown over about her prior record contract. But she has a long way to go to really have a chance to win.
Syesha's up and does a smokey, sexy version of Me and Mrs Jones, but turns it into Me and Mr. Jones which freaks out Simon since he can't deal with gender confusion, (see his relationship with Seacrest). The judges dog her and she seems sad, but I think she is safe unless everyone forgets her. But she has the Latin base and the Miami people so she might be ok this week since other people will suck much worse.
Brooke is up next and takes her guitar and sings a letter perfect copy of Carly Simon's Youre so Vain to Simon. He loves it because it plays to his image and praises her for it. It's funny how they ask for orginality and then love a letter perfect copy. This is pure karioke if I ever heard it. I do admit she does have the horse face and lips of Carly Simon. Lets give her a carrot and move on to the next contestant.
Which is our favorite, little Ramile who belts out some Donna Summer. The judges don't buy it because they want her back in her box. It's funny because she is the only contestant who could actually fit in a box. Maybe a hat box. Or even a McDonals happy meal box. Or a happy ending box. Simon does call her one of the three best singers in the competition. So she should be good for this week.
Next up is pony girl Kristy Lee Cooke who sings "Youre No Good."
Very appropriate because she is no good and I hope she is one of the two who are out this week. Simon says she has a lot of potential, but I think that is on her looks alone, cause she can't sing for shit. I would pay good money to see her saddle up horse face Brooke and ride her around the Surreal Life house, but that won't happen for a year or two.
Amanda Oversinger, I mean Amanda
Overbearing, I mean Amanda Overmeyer the motorcycle chick is next and she sucks big time. The judges really trash her big time and deservedly so. But the looks she is giving them are classic. I bet she's thinking, let me get a tire iron and come back here and see what's what. I guess she is going back to singing in bars and raping waitresses on pinball machines with pool cues. Sweet.
Alexandrea comes out in the professor's favorite outfit: a bubble shirt and cargo shorts. This outfit would be good for about six posts if some dude wore it on the Promonade. She sang "Hopelessly Devouted to You" in a hopelessly depressing monotone. The judges trash her gently and give just enough encouragement so she might skate this week. But I think she has a chance to go this week.
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