"Am I being performative?"

AND: "Marine destroys woke college professor."

Just what I need, the founder of the Office of Applied Strategy mansplains going meta on performative maleness.

I'm seeing this in the NYT: "How Do You Spot a ‘Performative’ Male? Look for a Tote Bag. As a new archetype gains traction, contests in Seattle and New York have found some men embracing the label — and signifiers like books, records and Labubus."

I'm thinking didn't I just blog that, but it's dated today, so no, I did not. Six days ago, I blogged "Forget The Lonely Men Epidemic—The Performative Male Era Is Here, And We Need To Talk (And Run)/He knows his moon sign, wears thrifted clothes, and posts aesthetic carousels with captions about healing and self-love," which I found — in Elle India — because I'd googled "performative male." We were told, "he comes armed with wired headphones, tote bags, vintage clothes, matcha lattes, Spotify playlists ft. Clairo or Laufey, and Sally Rooney books."

And here's the NYT, replete with an illustration that includes — of all things — a Sally Rooney book. It felt too drain-circling to blog, but then I got to this, and I knew it was bloggable:

Even as a composite? Might it not be fake, but accurate? Performative authenticity?

Oh... MY... GOD...

So Chuck Schumer has spent his entire career telling a story about a Long Island couple...

The only thing is... THEY DONT EXIST!!!! THEY ARENT REAL pic.twitter.com/dgmWLKvqwC

— kevin smith (@kevin_smith45) August 12, 2025

It's hard to think of other examples of a politician creating characters with actual names to spice up the rhetoric. I thought of John Edwards's little girl without a coat — "a 10-year-old little girl will go to bed hungry, hoping and praying that tomorrow will not be as cold as today because she doesn't have the coat to keep her warm" — but she didn't have a name. There was the name Julia, in Barack Obama's "Life of Julia," but she wasn't presented as a real person, just a cartoon everywoman.

Your Saturday morning "authenticity" update.

1. "A Little League coach went viral for his dad joke on the mound. It taught a bigger lesson" (NYT) quotes Jake Riordan, a Little League coach in Kentucky: "I don’t really take anything in life too seriously. It’s like, it’s Little League baseball. But I think consistency when you’re a coach is pretty important. So I’m consistently loose and goofy, and they play that way. I think that one of the best things we can do as a coach or leader is just to be authentic — to be yourself. I think, believe it or not, kids or players of any age can see through the bull crap."

2. "Jeff Probst Reflects on ‘Survivor’s’ Resurgence After 2025 Emmy Nominations" (Entertainment Now): "While Probst has been open about his friendly rivalry with the other competition series hosts in the past, he argues that [Alan] Cumming and RuPaul 'take on a more performative role' for their respective shows. 'It’s not their true selves,' said Probst, referring to Cumming’s 'dandy Scottish laird' persona on 'The Traitors' and RuPaul’s extravagant drag transformation on 'Drag Race.' Alternatively, Probst said that the man viewers see on each and every episode of 'Survivor' is his authentic self. 'That’s me,' he said. 'The vulnerability is that I’m exposed and vulnerable in the same way that the players are because I don’t do do-overs.... '"

3. "Ding Yuxi’s Tear‑Filled Gaze Goes Viral, Highlighting Authenticity and Shifting Masculinity in Chinese Reality TV" (Trending on Weibo): "Actor Ding Yuxi – known to his growing legion of fans for his curly hair, gentle demeanor and the boy‑ish charm that has anchored his rise in dramas such as “十年一品温如言” – was caught on screen with what Chinese netizens have affectionately called “酒汪汪的大眼睛”, literally 'wine‑soaked big eyes'... a playful twist on the more common “水汪汪的大眼睛” (big watery eyes).... Fans celebrated the moment as a rare sign of authenticity in an industry often accused of presenting polished, pre‑packaged personas.... viewers reposted the clip with captions praising his 'authentic vulnerability,' while others dissected the scene, wondering whether the tear was spontaneous...."

4. TO COME! I SAID I'D DO 4. DO YOU DOUBT MY SINCERITY? 

"You’ve heard of the 'loser' or 'lonely men' epidemic, where men disengage from relationships, accountability, and even basic hygiene, blaming society for their failures."

"But there’s a new player in town, and no, he doesn’t wear cargo shorts or live in his gaming chair. Meet the performative male: polished, aesthetically curated, emotionally fluent—on the surface. But look a little closer, and things get complicated. Welcome to the age of the performative man, a rebranded version of the emotionally unavailable alpha. Only this time, he comes armed with wired headphones, tote bags, vintage clothes, matcha lattes, Spotify playlists ft. Clairo or Laufey, and Sally Rooney books. He knows his moon sign, wears wide-leg trousers, and posts aesthetic carousels with captions about healing and self-love."

Writes Ekta Sinha, in "Forget The Lonely Men Epidemic—The Performative Male Era Is Here, And We Need To Talk (And Run)/He knows his moon sign, wears thrifted clothes, and posts aesthetic carousels with captions about healing and self-love" (Elle India).

That's the best of a bunch of recent articles I found after noticing the term "performative male."

See also: "Crowds gather on Capitol Hill for pop-up 'Performative Male Contest' in Seattle" (Fox13 Seattle)("My best description of a performative male is a man who wears feminism and softness and certain music as a guy to allure women without actually knowing anything about what they’re putting on or talking about").

"Young women are constantly warned of the dangers of the manosphere.... The cult of 'toxic masculinity' is now so overcooked as to be limp..."

"... and meaningless, and, crucially, it entirely misses one key thing: feminine men can be just as 'toxic' as bodybuilders. It is Gen Z’s shallow sexual politics, which privilege 'looking' progressive over deeply felt values, that have landed us here. If the feminisation of culture has succeeded, it is because posing as effete gains men access to the women they want to sleep with. Cultural capital has deserted roided-up meatheads and landed in the lap of the moustachioed, mulletted lothario who professes to be a harmless feminist and who wields just enough knowledge about Judith Butler to talk a blushing sociology major into bed.... When visibly masculine men are maligned as potential abusers, women choose the wolf in vintage clothing. But this is all based on false assumptions: performative matcha is one more way that ill-intentioned loverboys can game our sexual politics’ daft stereotypes, joining tried-and-tested tactics like professing to be left-wing, painting one’s nails and listening to Phoebe Bridgers. You are just as likely to be shagged and bagged by a matcha drinker as a craft beer enthusiast, or indeed, a plain old lager fan...."

Writes Poppy Sowerby, quoted in "Ladies, if you see a man with a matcha latte — run/Male poseurs have abandoned macho and embraced matcha. Is it just another ploy to seduce women?" (London Times).

I haven't used my "performative (the word)" tag in a while. Here's the post where I created it, back in 2022 about a NYT piece titled, "Should Biden Run in 2024? Democratic Whispers of ‘No’ Start to Rise." I said:

"A new straight-studies course treats male-female partnerships as the real deviance."

Subheadline for a New York Magazine article titled, "If Hetero Relationships Are So Bad, Why Do Women Go Back for More?" The teaser title on the front page is "Do Straight Women Really Exist?" The author of the article is Jessica Bennett.

“In this class, we’re going to flip the script,” [said sociologist Jane Ward to her students on the first day of class]. “It’s going to be a place where we worry about straight people. Where we feel sympathy for straight people. We are going to be allies to straight people.”...

Flipping the script is a good approach to studying the topic, and the topic is worthy of study. However, I don't like being directed to "worry" or "feel sympathy" or "be allies." I'd look at the subject head on. But neutrality is cruel, and women want to present as empathetic. 

The online world seems to get weirder and more retrograde about heterosexuality every day. Idealized masculinity has become more aggressive, more jacked up, and also more high maintenance... while femininity gets ever “softer,” more nurturing and domestic, and somehow still more sexy....

"Some folks might decry this practice as 'rent-free living.' However, if it maximizes Congress’s productivity..."

"... and camaraderie while respecting professional boundaries with staff, then it is a step worth taking."

Writes Buddy Carter, a Republican representing Georgia’s 1st Congressional District, in "I sleep in my office. The rest of Congress should, too. The House would be more bipartisan if lawmakers made the Hill their home away from home" (WaPo)(free-access link so you can see the photographs).

A commenter over there says: "More performative bullsh*t from the party that harbors felons, rapists and pedophiles. Spare me." Another commenter: "I agree this is performative behavior. The writer also doesn’t tell us that he is pocketing his taxpayer-funded cost-of-living reimbursements while staying in DC." 

"In the wake of Mr. Kavanaugh’s confirmation, the gender and sexuality scholar Asa Seresin picked up on a feeling in the air..."

"... and put a name to it: 'heteropessimism.' ... Mr. Seresin argued that heteropessimism was defined by 'performative disaffiliations with heterosexuality, usually expressed in the form of regret, embarrassment, or hopelessness about straight experience.' By 'performative,' Mr. Seresin meant that though many women freely admitted that being attracted to men was at best a bummer and at worst a form of masochism, few acted on their beliefs. While expressing a sincere hopelessness, women’s disavowals seemed to be mostly gestural, like a sardonic Etsy mug."

Writes Marie Solis, in "Men? Maybe Not. The election made clear that America’s gender divide is stark. What’s a heterosexual woman to do?" (NYT).

That's a long article, but I chose that excerpt because I have a tag "performative (the word)." Here's the post — from June 11, 2022 — where I created the tag. Interestingly, it was about a David Axelrod piece asking "Should Biden Run in 2024?" Axelrod wrote, "Biden doesn’t get the credit he deserves... And part of the reason he doesn’t is performative." I said:

"Players can also ostensibly play as trans characters; the game offers the ability to choose one’s voice, body shape..."

"... and whether they want to be referred to as a 'witch' or a 'wizard'.... There is also a character who is (almost) explicitly transgender: Sirona Ryan... the owner of the Hogsmeade pub... says the line, 'He recognized me instantly. Which is more than I can say for some of my own classmates. Took them a second to realize I was actually a witch, not a wizard.' While it could be assumed that her inclusion was a direct rejection of Rowling’s beliefs, sources familiar with the game’s development have said that the move was 'performative bullshit,' and that the character was only added after the initial backlash to the game...."

Writes Rebecca Jennings in "How the Harry Potter video game became an ethical minefield/Hogwarts Legacy is one of the most anticipated video games of all time. Whether or not you play it is a question of morality" (Vox).

"I think on its face, the ice cream that Walmart attempted to sell at best feels performative and exploitative..."

"... in part because Juneteenth is a holiday that signals celebration of liberation, and this feels like an empty symbol rather than a meaningful gesture that companies the size of Walmart could have made to the Black community across the United States in celebration of Juneteenth.... I think that it’s really in the spirit of Juneteenth to ensure that they are doing things that are meaningful for the advancement of both their Black employees and their Black consumers and also where there are avenues for that—even investments in small Black-owned businesses. Juneteenth was once an obscure holiday... As it’s getting renewed attention and visibility, I hope that companies will find ways to mark the historic significance of the holiday and not larger performative gestures like what we are seeing here with Walmart and other companies."

Said Timothy Welbeck, an assistant professor of instruction in the Department of Africology and African American Studies and acting director of the Center for Anti-racism Research at Temple University, quoted in "Learning from Walmart’s Juneteenth marketing mistake/Timothy Welbeck, acting director of the Center for Anti-racism Research, believes companies must develop more meaningful ways to observe the occasion rather than capitalizing off the holiday commercially" (Temple Now).

I'm trying to read this Slate article about Greg Gutfeld, but I can't get past the performative garnering.

There's one word I've been following ever since Jeb Bush low-energied his way to defeat, and that word is "garner." There's an upstart word on my radar. I've been talking about it since last Saturday. That word is "performative."

This morning Meade sends me the link to "A Fox News Host’s Strange Backstory Shows How Liberals Lost Comedy/Conservatives now have one of the most popular shows in late night" — and I run into this:

Gutfeld has long demonstrated an obvious knack for garnering attention through what would now be described as trolling. Developing a highly performative, occasionally over-the-top style of comedic presentation....

Speaking of trolling... I don't want to be paranoid... but I feel... summoned. Who does a garner/performative one-two like that?

Anyway, here's a passage from the article, in case you're hankering for the substantive:

"Owning the ___ (conservative strategy of performatively inflaming Democratic outrage)."

That's the first clue — 1 across — at today's New Yorker crossword. 

I'm blogging this before filling in a single blank, and I don't know the answer to that clue, but I'm interested because the New Yorker is acting like this is a known concept — "Owning the ___ (conservative strategy of performatively inflaming Democratic outrage)" — and because "performative" is a word I've been following.

"The presidency is a monstrously taxing job and the stark reality is the president would be closer to 90 than 80 at the end of a second term, and that would be a major issue."

Said David Axelrod, with a distinctively clever way to state the numerical fact, quoted in "Should Biden Run in 2024? Democratic Whispers of ‘No’ Start to Rise. In interviews, dozens of frustrated Democratic officials, members of Congress and voters expressed doubts about the president’s ability to rescue his reeling party and take the fight to Republicans" (NYT). 

Another quote from Axelrod: "Biden doesn’t get the credit he deserves for steering the country through the worst of the pandemic, passing historic legislation, pulling the NATO alliance together against Russian aggression and restoring decency and decorum to the White House. And part of the reason he doesn’t is performative. He looks his age and isn’t as agile in front of a camera as he once was, and this has fed a narrative about competence that isn’t rooted in reality."

I should make a tag for "performative." It's a buzz word these days, I believe, and I'd like to keep track of it. 

"I am a fundamentally principled person. I have no patience for cancel culture. None. And I don’t care who’s arguing for the cancellation."

Said Georgetown professor Carol Christine Fair, quoted in "A Conservative Quits Georgetown’s Law School Amid Free Speech Fight/Ilya Shapiro, who tweeted that a 'lesser Black woman' would get a Supreme Court nod, was cleared by a school investigation. He decided to leave anyway" (NYT).

Fair is one of the professors Shapiro quoted in his resignation letter. He used her as an example of a Georgetown professor who'd tweeted something that was offensive but was not treated as harshly as he was. As the NYT puts it: