"Well, of course, we contact our Trinidadian friends and all the people that like to eat iguanas... and they eat the eggs and they eat the legs and they eat the tail."

"So this is easy snacks, fallin' out the trees this mornin'."

Meet Jessica Kilgore the South Florida iguana slaying queen!!!! pic.twitter.com/CDNQvsok8O

— Branch Floridian (@JackLinFLL) February 1, 2026

"Free yourself of old-fashioned ideas."

That's not the L&M commercial I'm searching for. And neither is this, though it does have an amazing performance by Teri Garr:

That first video shows what it meant to "live modern" in the 1950s. The couple reminds me of my parents. The Teri Garr commercial shows the ordeal of living in the 1970s and the pathetic hope that cigarettes could bring 2 decent struggling humans together for a tiny moment.

But the one I was looking for is a 1960s commercial with a jingle singing "They said it couldn't be done." The thing that supposedly couldn't be done was to put a filter on a cigarette and have it still taste good. The ad began by showing a few things that "they" said couldn't be done that really were done. The only example I remember is showing Florida as a big swamp followed by images of glorious Florida real estate. The logic of the commercial was that if other supposedly impossible things happened, then this other one probably happened too. See how 1960s that was? 

Are you living through Milton?

Tell us about it.

I'm reading "Florida wakes up to Milton’s devastation; 3 million lose power" (WaPo)(free access link) and "Live Updates: Hurricane Milton Carves Destructive Path Across Florida/As the storm moved offshore into the Atlantic, Gulf Coast residents were beginning to assess damage from heavy winds, rain and storm surges. More than 3.3 million customers were without power" (NYT).

Is this getting politicized? Of course it is, but let's listen to 2 key players, President Biden...

Here is Joe Biden throwing Kamala under the bus when he’s asked directly today if DeSantis should take her call. He hates her. This is two days in a row of insulting her. He never takes questions. He was waiting for this one. Again. pic.twitter.com/skCx8HASH8

— Clay Travis (@ClayTravis) October 9, 2024

... and Ron DeSantis:

🚨JUST IN: Ron DeSantis shut down CNBC host that accused him of politicizing Hurricane Milton!

THIS is how you handle the Fake News!

DeSantis: “I didn't even know she was trying to reach me, but she has no role in this process… and I've been dealing with these storms in… pic.twitter.com/uHoaJYnmIN

— Gunther Eagleman™ (@GuntherEagleman) October 10, 2024

Attempt humor at your own risk:

"The powerful Category 4 hurricane came ashore on Florida’s Gulf Coast and quickly moved into Georgia, where it dumped record amounts of rain."

The NYT reports.

Did anyone here experience Helene? Perhaps you wouldn't be on line if you did. 

"Early indications from Florida’s Big Bend coast were of catastrophic damage to small, marshy villages like Cedar Key, which sits on a series of islands jutting into the Gulf of Mexico. 'It looks like a nuclear bomb went off,' said Michael Bobbitt, a novelist and playwright who lives in the heart of the island community."

Anyone waiting, right now, in her path?

"Flooding and tornadoes were forecast across much of the Southeast, and 'significant landslides' were predicted across the southern Appalachians through Friday. In Greenville-Spartanburg, S.C., nearly 400 miles from Florida’s Gulf Coast, forecasters warned that the storm could be one of the region’s 'most significant weather events' in modern history."

"School choice programs have been wildly successful under DeSantis. Now public schools might close."

A headline at Politico. Subhead: "The Republican governor’s school choice programs may serve as a model for other GOP-leaning states across the country."

Excerpt:

[S]ome of Florida’s largest school districts are facing staggering enrollment declines — and grappling with the possibility of campus closures — as dollars follow the increasing number of parents opting out of traditional public schools.... In Broward County, Florida’s second-largest school district, officials have floated plans to close up to 42 campuses over the next few years....  Broward County Public Schools claims to have more than 49,000 classroom seats sitting empty this year, a number that “closely matches” the 49,833 students attending charter schools in the area....

"Florida is at the forefront of a dizzying and contentious array of statewide bans..."

"... outlawing lab grown meat, certain books from school libraries and classrooms, and most abortions after six weeks. But the balloon ban is rare for garnering widespread bipartisan support.... The new legislation makes it clear that balloons can pose an environmental hazard, supporters say. It equates intentionally releasing a balloon filled with a gas lighter than air with littering...."

"Balloons Harm Wildlife. Florida Is Set to Ban Their Release/In an effort to curb microplastics and marine pollution, lawmakers in the Sunshine State voted overwhelmingly to make it illegal to intentionally let a balloon fly away" (NYT).

Of course, releasing a balloon is littering! How did people ever convince themselves that it wasn't? Well, they just didn't think about it, did they?

Side note: Did you spot the free-range "garnering" released into the wild?

"In sharing her preferred title and pronouns, Ms Wood celebrates herself and sings herself – not in a disruptive or coercive way, but in a way that subtly vindicates her identity, her dignity, and her humanity."

Wrote federal district judge Mark Walker, quoted in "Florida can’t ban teacher from asking students to use her preferred pronouns, judge rules/Katie Wood, a transgender algebra teacher, has long gone by ‘Ms Wood’ but the law required students to say 'Teacher Wood'" (Guardian).

The judge was using Walt Whitman's "Song of Myself," which famously begins:

I celebrate myself, and sing myself,
And what I assume you shall assume,
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.

Visualizing Idalia.

Hurricane #Idalia made landfall on Florida's Big Bend this morning. This view via #GOESEast IR imagery. Rapid intensification was reminiscent of Hurricane Ian one year ago, and in fact, maximum sustained winds were near 125 mph (205 km/h) just below Category 4 at landfall. #FLwx pic.twitter.com/OFYhQpeULy

— UW-Madison CIMSS (@UWCIMSS) August 30, 2023

The top story in the NYT right now is: "Kamala Harris Takes on a Forceful New Role in the 2024 Campaign."

What has been "forceful" — or "new" — about anything Kamala Harris has done?

"The new laws have introduced a ban on the funding of diversity, equity and inclusion programs at Florida’s public colleges and universities, withdrawn a right to arbitration..."

"... formerly guaranteed to faculty members who have been denied tenure or face dismissal, and prohibited the teaching of critical race theory, which contends that inherent racial bias pervades many laws and institutions in western society, among other changes. In the face of that and other legislation backed by DeSantis and Republican lawmakers that has rolled back the rights of Florida’s LGBTQ+ community, many scholars across the state are taking early retirement, voting with their feet by accepting job offers outside Florida or simply throwing in the towel with a letter of resignation."

From "‘I’m not wanted’: Florida universities hit by brain drain as academics flee" (The Guardian).

"So if little girls experience their menstrual cycle in fifth grade or fourth grade, will that prohibit conversations from them since they are in the grade lower than sixth grade?"

"It would."

From "Florida bill would ban young girls from discussing periods in school" (WaPo).

The GOP lawmaker representing Ocala, Fla., later clarified that it “would not be the intent” of the bill to punish girls if they came to teachers with questions or concerns about their menstrual cycle, adding that he’d be “amenable” to amendments if they were to come up. 

The bill ended up passing, 13-5, on Wednesday in a party-line vote....

“I thought it was pretty remarkable that the beginning of a little girl’s menstrual cycle was not contemplated as they drafted this bill,” [said state Rep. Ashley Gantt (D)].

🆘

Watch Florida State Rep. @StanMcClain tell Rep. @Gantt4Florida that his bill prohibits young people from talking about their period….

WHAT?!?! pic.twitter.com/PoEgRm4sK0

— Florida Planned Parenthood Action (@PPactionFL) March 15, 2023

"Spanning thousands of miles... the blob — a tangled, buoyant, mass of a type of seaweed called sargassum — is expected to come ashore in Florida..."

"... and elsewhere along the Gulf of Mexico.... [I]t will then begin to rot, emitting toxic fumes and fouling the region’s beaches over the busiest summer months....While floating sargassum can benefit marine animals by providing shade and shelter, the problems begin once it comes ashore. As the sargassum begins to die, it degrades the water quality and pollutes beaches, scientists say. It can also choke vital mangrove habitats and suck oxygen out of the water. The decaying algae also releases hydrogen sulfide, a colorless gas that smells like rotten eggs, and can cause respiratory problems in humans.... The most immediate threat, however, is to tourism."

 
From "A Giant Blob of Seaweed is Heading to Florida/The mass, known as the great Atlantic Sargassum belt, is drifting toward the Gulf of Mexico. Scientists say seaweed is likely to come ashore by summer to create a rotting, stinking, scourge" (NYT).

"Dry Tortugas National Park has been closed to the public after hundreds of migrants arrived by boat at the remote islands on the tip of the Florida Keys."

"The National Park Service estimated that 300 people arrived at the park over the past couple of days and said Sunday that there will be no visitor services and 'extremely limited' emergency services during the closure.... The people will be transferred to federal law enforcement agents in the Keys.... Though the National Park Service didn’t specify where the migrants were from, it said the Florida Keys has seen an uptick in arrivals from Cuba. The Coast Guard, which sent 80 asylum seekers back to Cuba last week, has also had a number of recent at-sea interdictions but has not provided specific numbers...."

WaPo reports.

WaPo headline: "Trump absorbs GOP losses, while DeSantis glows with landslide victory/Early returns suggested setbacks for the former president’s endorsed candidates, and several potential 2024 rivals appeared emboldened."

That says a lot.

The former president spent the final days of the campaign lashing out and even threatening Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, whose apparent interest in running against Trump has puzzled him, according to advisers who spoke on the condition of anonymity to reflect private conversations.

The Florida governor didn’t return fire, other than to hold his own campaign event on Saturday, competing with a Trump rally in Miami and further irking the former president.

Come election night, however, it was DeSantis holding the ebullient victory party, having won reelection in a 20-point landslide, almost 15 points better than Trump’s 2020 margin in their shared home state.

At the party, DeSantis’s supporters chanted “Two more years!” — encouraging the governor to seek the presidency before finishing his second term.

"Police cameras show confusion, anger over DeSantis’ voter fraud arrests/Local police carrying out the arrests were patient, understanding — almost apologetic."

The Tampa Bay Times reports. 

Here's the video: 

There really is some unfortunate confusion with a 2018 statute permitting voting even if you've been convicted of a felony but not if the felony was murder or a sex offense.

I want to see voting laws enforced, but the laws shouldn't be a trap for the unwary. I feel sorry for these people and you can see that the police officers feel sorry for them too.

"They lost every possession to their name. They showed up here in the same clothes they left in. And they’re all here."

"Quite a few players on our football team, members of the [junior ROTC], the band, the people here making this event what it is, they’re living on couches and in RVs or wherever they can find a place." 

Said Naples athletic director Cassie Barone, quoted in an OutKick article reporting about the Naples High football team playing its Friday night game, at home, 10 days after Hurricane Ian brought a 10 foot storm surge nor far from the school.

Ron DeSantis showed up for the game and called it "a testament to the resiliency of our Southwest Florida communities." By the way, there doesn't seem to be much of an effort to "Katrina" Ron DeSantis.

My favorite part of the article is one of the section headings: "Football Can Lift The Community."

"In its natural state, most of Florida was such a soggy mush of low-lying marshes that mapmakers couldn’t decide whether to draw it as land or water."

"The Spaniards who arrived in the 16th century told their king the peninsula was 'liable to overflow, and of no use,' and white people mostly stayed away until the U.S. Army chased the Seminole Indians into the Everglades in the 19th century. The soldiers forced to slog through its mosquito-infested bogs described it as a 'hideous,' 'diabolical,''repulsive,' 'pestilential,' 'God-abandoned' hellhole. The story of Florida in the 20th century is about dreamers and schemers trying to get rid of all that water and drain the swamp. Eventually, they mostly succeeded, transforming a remote wilderness into a sprawling megalopolis, replacing millions of acres of wetlands with strip malls and golf courses and sprawling subdivisions, building the Palmetto and Sawgrass Expressways where palmettos and sawgrass used to be.... Cape Coral is Florida on steroids, a comically artificial landscape featuring seven perfectly rectangular man-made islands and eight perfectly square man-made lakes. It was built by two shady brothers who made their fortunes selling scammy anti-baldness tonics, then used their talent for flimflam to sell inaccessible swampland to suckers.... 'You can even get stucco,' the land-swindler played by Groucho Marx quipped in Cocoanuts. 'Oh, how you can get stuck-oh!'"

Writes Michael Grunwald in "Why the Florida Fantasy Withstands Reality/Cape Coral is a microcosm of Florida’s worst impulse: selling dream homes in a hurricane-prone flood zone. But people still want them" (The Atlantic).

"Hurricane Ian is on the cusp of Category 5 strength with maximum sustained winds of almost 155 mph..."

"... ahead of an expected Wednesday afternoon landfall. The National Hurricane Center warned that 'catastrophic storm surge, winds, and flooding' are imminent in the Florida Peninsula — the center said in its noon advisory that the ring of destructive winds, or eyewall, around Ian’s calm center is moving onshore at Sanibel and Captiva Islands in Southwest Florida. More than 300,000 customers are without power midday Wednesday as conditions continue to deteriorate.... 'This is going to be a nasty, nasty day,' Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) said in a news conference early Wednesday. In neighborhoods from Tampa to Key West, locals were seeing water at their doorsteps — some making last minute efforts to evacuate...."

WaPo reports.

"if Disney wants to pick a fight, they chose the wrong guy. I will not allow a woke corporation based in California to run our state..."

"Disney has gotten away with special deals from the state of Florida for way too long.... Disney thought they ruled Florida. They even tried to attack me to advance their woke agenda."

Said Ron DeSantis, quoted in "Disney to Lose Special Tax Status in Florida Amid ‘Don’t Say Gay’ Clash/Lawmakers in the state voted to revoke the company’s special designation following a dispute with Gov. Ron DeSantis over a new education law" (NYT). 

Disney employs 38 lobbyists in Florida’s capital. Each election cycle, the company gives generous campaign contributions to Florida candidates on both sides of the political aisle. Its theme park mega-resort near Orlando attracts around 50 million visitors a year, powering a Central Florida tourism economy that annually generates more than $5 billion in local and state tax revenue. The upshot: Disney usually gets whatever it wants in Florida. That era ended on Thursday, when the Florida House voted to revoke Disney World’s designation as a special tax district — a privilege that Disney has held for 55 years, effectively allowing the company to self-govern its 25,000-acre theme park complex.

The house/yacht distinction — it's a tax question.

More, here, at the Miami Herald. Miami-Dade County has sent the owners a property tax bill of nearly $120,000, but there's a state constitutional law provision barring property tax on boats. What makes a boat? The lawyer for the owners says the county is relying on "the shape and the style and the look" of what the lawyer calls "this boat."

This isn't just an isolated case. This thing — "The Arkup" — has been touted in mainstream media and is intended as a model for extensive new housing development — "small apartments on the water for students, townhouses for families.... housing solutions for a broader audience." I can see why the promoters of this kind of floating house-building stress future benefits for the non-rich, but the real house/boat in issue in this case belongs to rich people.

Who should pay property taxes? Why should land-based domicile-owners pay the bills? Should you have to change that state constitutional law provision first, or is it enough for the government to draw the boat/house distinction in the way that allows for more tax collection?

But houseboats have been around for ages, so you'd think this problem would have been worked out long ago.