At the Grammys, Michelle Obama only needed to open her mouth to set the audience into raving ecstasy.

That was after Alicia Keys gave a speech, introduced "all my sisters," and Lady Gaga, Jennifer Lopez, and Jada Pinkett Smith had each given little speeches. Scroll back and look at all that if you want. I just wanted you to see how the celebrities, exposed to an intense concentration of stardom, went so wild over Michelle.

I never watch the Grammys. I just saw that in the news this morning.

"Cause I don’t want to cover up anymore. Not my face, not my mind, not my soul, not my thoughts..."

"... not my dreams, not my struggles, not my emotional growth. Nothing."

MEANWHILE: As long as we're talking about the VMAs and not covering up, did you see this?

NPR interviews the rap artist who provided the rap for that Ben Carson ad that has come up for a certain amount of mockery.

NPR provides the text of the answers, but the questions are summarized. I recommend listening to the audio to get a sense of whether there's condescension toward the black Christian Republican (whose name is Robert Donaldson (stage name: Aspiring Mogul)). This was the best part, where he responds to the question whether it's condescending to use rap music to appeal to "a certain constituency":

When Obama ran for president and the whole music industry made a song — from Will.I.Am to Alicia Keys to Common Sense and everybody — "Yes, I can! Yes, I can!" That was definitely a rap song. And so for me, I see it as the exact same thing. So [Ben Carson] did a rap ad — he did a country ad, too! Is that a knockoff to people who like country music, because he has a country song that represents him? ...

What I'm basically saying is: What genre of music is sufficient to use for a presidential ad? Is it only classical music? Is it pop music? I never said that this is an ad to get the black vote. That was the way they marketed it; I wrote the song because Ben Carson inspired me. And if they're using it for that reason, I'm now talking to you and have this opportunity to have this conversation. So the song has done, to some degree, the goal that I initially intended to begin with.

Come on, everyone in the world, let's all go to the New Hope Baptist Church in Newark, New Jersey today.

There's a big funeral, and you're all invited.

Oprah Winfrey will be there. And Alicia Keys. Dionne Warwick. And the love of a lifetime, Bobby Brown.

"Save the world! Save the world! But first … let's crush someone's dreams!"

"And whose dreams were crushed tonight? All those teen girls who dig Tim Urban, that's who."

***

Did you watch the show last night, the "American Idol Gives Back" charity night? They had a lot of big stars performing, and too bad we don't get to vote them out. They were all awful. I didn't enjoy one of them. Not Alicia Keys, not Elton John, not the Black Eyed Peas, not Jeff Beck w/ Joss Stone... not anybody. Why are they all so bad? At least the regular contestants have a reason for being as bad as they are. And, as noted, you do get to see them — all but one — rejected in the end.

"UnAustralian"... "This is what happens when you let hippies organise a big event."

Live Earth was a flop because it was too hard to buy beer.... and lots of other reasons.

In the UK, they didn't like the f-word... and the Princess Di tribute was so much nicer.

There was some skepticism -- here in America -- about the connection between the cause and the event:

Just 22% [of Americans] said they followed news stories about the concert ...

Most Americans (52%) believe the performers take part in such events because it is good for their image. Only 24% say the celebrities really believe in the cause while another 24% are not sure. One rock star who apparently shared that view is Matt Bellamy of the band Muse. Earlier in the week, he jokingly referred to Live Earth as "private jets for climate change."

Only 34% believe that events like Live Earth actually help the cause they are intended to serve. Forty-one percent (41%) disagree. Those figures include 10% who believe the events are Very Helpful and 20% who say they are Not at All Helfpul. Adding to the skepticism, an earlier survey found that just 24% of Americans consider Al Gore an expert on Global Warming.

Given a choice of four major issues before the United States today, 36% named the war in Iraq as most important. Twenty-five percent (25%) named immigration, 20% selected the economy and only 12% thought Global Warming was the top issue.

So you can't stir us up with a big rock show? That's a good thing, isn't it? I mean, this cause may be a good one, but it's nevertheless good if we're immune to the use of music for propaganda purposes.

I watched some of the show. I TiVo'd everything, then fast-forwarded through most of it. I enjoyed Crowded House and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. And everyone likes Madonna now. She works so hard. She's still willing to get out on the dance floor flat on her belly and writhe until we are entertained. Alicia Keys is okay, but when she deigned to participate in "Gimme Shelter," she made it very obvious -- to those of us who will always have the sound of Merry Clayton imprinted on our brains -- how much more of a voice it's possible to have.

My favorite part of Live Earth was one of the conservation film clips that I mostly skipped. Some guy was showing off his apartment -- a table he found on the street and the hemp upholstery on his sofa -- to explain us a few of the manifold techniques we could use to save the planet. And then -- this was supposed to seem hip and not comic -- he advised us to wrap presents with metallic paper obtained by turning potato chip bags inside out and washing the grease off it. Oh, that brought back memories of a job I had in the mid-70s that required me to read Women's Day. I'll never forget the article that advised women to make curtains out of pop tops -- remember pop-topping? -- and to save the string from bakery cake boxes and knit it into dish cloths.

It's really easy, by the way, to cut back your consumption of fossil fuels. There's no need to embrace this depressing 70s vibe. But it's funny as hell to see a young hipster recycling it for us with utter sincerity.

IN THE COMMENTS: A hot and funny fight between ace commenter Bissage and planet-famous music critic Steve Simels.

"I was thinking about Alicia Keys, couldn't help from crying..."

"When she was born in Hell's Kitchen, I was living down the line / I'm wondering where in the world Alicia Keys could be / I been looking for her even clean through Tennessee." From Bob Dylan's new album.

"American Idol" -- slicing away four contestants.

It's a half hour show tonight, kicking out two "guys" and two "girls" -- in only thirty minutes. So the usual padding is gone. There's a little preliminary blather about song choice. Then, Ryan Seacrest turns to the assembled female contestants and says "Would Celena Rae join me please? ... Celena, unfortunately, I have to say, you got the lowest number of votes and you'll be leaving us tonight." That was the most abrupt send-off ever! She's not asked to sing the song that made her lose. That's a relief. Well, she's one of the singers I was willing to get rid of. Time to lose one more "girl." After the break, they go through the women one by one, and pull out Aloha and Vonzell. Both sang Alicia Keys songs. And Aloha, who was so good last week, is gone. Yet I'm glad Vonzell is getting another chance. That's what I wrote in last night's post.

Which two "guys" will leave? Here, you can see I thought that Travis Tucker and Joseph Murena would go. Ryan: "The boys' result coming up." Oh, now we're calling them "boys"? Some of them are pushing thirty! Ryan goes through the top row of contestants. All are safe. Then he picks out Scott Savol, in the middle of the bottom row, and it's an anxious moment, but the fat, unattractive "boy" is told he's safe. Four are left, and all four are made to stand and form a line. (They keep varying the way they announce the loser!) We see Mario without his hat for the first time. He is not bald! Ah, Mario is safe! Travis is safe! And Joe and David leave. Lucky Travis! I'm not surprised at the result. Travis saved it, I think, by that little dance he did.

Until next week!

"American Idol" -- the "girls."

It's "girls" night, and I expect to find it less entertaining than last night. But Randy does think they are going to "bring it," so let's see if they do.

Aloha Mischeaux. Wearing a big red flower in her hair and a giant rectangle of red chiffon, she sings a draggy song, one of those meandering, tuneless R&B songs so many of the contestants do. It's an Alicia Keys song. The judges all hate it.

Lindsey Cardinale. I can barely hear her over the band. Seems to be some sort of country song. She does that growly thing with her throat that singers do to seem sexy and emotional, but the effect is phony. The judges all hate it.

Jessica Sierra. She tells us she's a country girl. She's wearing a large swath of blue satin, possibly an actual article of clothing. I hate the song -- something about angels flying, but I think she's singing pretty well. Some good belting, some decent range. The judges all love her. Simon: "amazing."

Mikalah Gordon. This is an incredibly annoying 16-year-old who looks 40, has (apparently) heavily collagened lips, and tries to act as much like TV's "The Nanny" as she possibly can. How long can we put up with that? But you vote for people on this show, not against them, so she may be able to hold on for another week or so. Wow! She sits on a stool, she wears a real article of clothing (a red turtleneck), and she sings a real song: "God Bless the Child." Damn, I like her just for singing a real song! Randy: "I give you mad props, man." Paula: "You nailed it." Simon: "That was just a joy to watch and listen to... You weren't annoying in the slightest, because you're not talking!" Well, somebody gave her some good advice, and she adjusted well.

Celena Rae. More bogus throatiness. Another cheesy country-ish song. I Google a lyric and figure out it's Faith Hill's "When the Lights Go Down." I hate that kind of crap. The judges find her ordinary. Simon: "There's a thin line between being a pop star and singing in a hotel."

Nadia Turner. The coolest looking person who has ever appeared on the show. Amazing, huge hair is just the beginning. She's wearing a short white camisole and a red skirt held up by her pubic bone. And some kind of wacky black and white boots. She sings Paul McCartney: "My Love." She's not really a good enough singer, but we all like her.

Amanda Avila. She attributes her success to "God's timing." She sings "Turn the Beat Around" -- horrendously. She's pretty, but get her out of here!! Painful! I bet the judges tell her she's pretty. Randy: better than last week -- not just a beautiful face. Paula: better than last week. They are not harsh enough. Please, Simon: slam her! "Overall, it was a great performance." Ridiculous!

Janay Castine. She was terrified last week, so what will she do now? She's singing some weird song that reminds me of that "I love to sing-a" cartoon with the frog -- you know? But much less musical. I just can't understand this concept of music. It's somewhere in a realm that is not music. Randy: "That wasn't very good, man.... A little rough." Paula: "It wasn't bad..." Simon: "You're like a little doll who's been programmed to be a pop star.... Right now, I think you're too young."

Carrie Underwood. She accepts being thought of as "farm girl." She sings "Piece of My Heart"! But she starts too low for her range. She dances in that bouncy, wiggly way that does not make me feel anything -- maybe it works for you. My opinion: not enough real feeling. Randy: "It's hard to do Janis Joplin." Get back in your country box! Paula: "That wasn't believable." Get back in your country box! Simon: "We loved you last week. This was reminiscent of what a cover band would do... You lost some star quality." All true! "Oh, you're holding me!" Ryan says when she puts her arm around him. "That's a first this season." Hey, get back in the box! You're the squeaky clean girl!

Vonzell Solomon. She's going last, the mailman girl. So I guess she's going to be good. She's wearing a black sheath and a clunky gold breast plate. Her voice is thin and screetchy. I don't like it! Randy: "Didn't quite make it." Paula: "You were ambitious... you're a fun performer... hold your center together." Simon: "An overcooked performance." Well, I'm glad they broke from the pattern of putting the best person last.

America, feel free to vote off: Aloha, Lindsey, Celena, Amanda, Janay, Carrie. Especially Amanda! But you've got to keep: Jessica and Mikalah. And let's give Nadia and Vonzell some more chances. Tomorrow night, I'm predicting Amanda and Celena are gone.

UPDATE: A reader emails that Carrie really was still in her country box, because Faith Hill had a big hit with "Piece of My Heart," and Carrie was probably doing the Faith Hill version. Another emailer writes to say that Alicia Keys is not herself "meandering and tuneless" when doing that song that Aloha did badly. I assumed so. I think Keys -- whom I haven't listened to much -- has a lovely voice that brings musicality to things that mediocre singers can't find the music in.

"Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame, thank you so much--you've been just lovely--a real knock out." That's Prince, at the Hall of Fame show. He gives a great performance--and changes the words to Kiss:

"You don't have to watch Sex and the City to have an attitude."

Oh, but good Lord, the intro is stilted and prolonged. Alicia Keys seems to be auditioning for a movie role, so earnestly emoting her way through the teleprompter script.

"He's the inspiration that generations will return to until the end of time."

I love Prince, but that's just stupid. Keys should have refused to say those idiotic lines. Ah, what the hell. There's always been something incoherent about the Rock 'n Roll Hall of Fame. And good old Prince is still raving about freedom and spirituality, God bless him.

I hope Tonya TiVoed the adorable Dave Matthews intro for Traffic. ... There really is something wondrous about Mr. Fantasy. And Steve Winwood's voice is wondrously intact.