3 ఫిబ్రవరి, 2026
"His doctors hit the cancer with chemotherapy and radiation, then focused on medications to deprive it of male hormones, or androgens, which fuel its growth...."
"Brian’s treatment took away his libido and left him sometimes with brain fog. Without testosterone in his system, Brian lost sexual function and libido, which had been a core of his identity. 'That has been the hardest part of this,' he said, with typical directness. 'Because I love being a man. I love being in a man’s body.'... Brian asked his doctors about taking a three month 'holiday' from the drugs — allowing his testosterone levels to rise for a short spell so he could feel like himself again, without the fatigue and brain fog and sexual dysfunction.... After deliberation, they slated it for the summer of 2025, when he planned to spend several weeks on Fire Island, long a mecca for gay men and women.... Here was a chance to briefly reinhabit his old energetic, sexual self.... One day he set out for the beach, eager for an outing not shaped by his cancer. But when he came to a slight incline in the footpath, he realized he could not make it.... By midsummer, it was becoming clear that his drug holiday was not going to deliver as he’d hoped. He still had no libido, let alone sexual function.... "
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47 కామెంట్లు:
This makes me think of a lifelong friend we lost about a year before the pandemic. We worked and taught and performed together for over forty years. He knew the liver disease he discovered in his mid 50's would take him out in about the number of years described in this story, and it did. We spent a lot of time together in his waning years. From beginning to end, though he was a deeply believing Christian who lived a life very unlike the subject of the story, his response to his fate was very like what I see in this man's life. He lived until he died, doing what he loved, loving his friends and family, traveling the world. He is my hero and my role model, and his example has carried through some pretty gruesome days dealing with my own physical dysfunctions and treatments. We are blessed by the extra time we get through the miracles we can summon to survive, but it will get us all in the end. Memento mori, and live while you can. Eventually, relentlessly, it will be over.
Many of us will go believing that we will all be together soon enough. When we go, we will know.
Maybe Brian, like Scott Adams, will do Pascal’s Wager.
This seems to imply a rather narrow view of what his “sexual self” represented.
I know the article is supposed to be inspiring. I'm sure Althouse posted it because it was inspiring, but I found it profoundly sad and empty. His libido was never going to stay forever. At his age, it probably wasn't all natural anyway. And that was his identity? Sad.
A very touching story, I'm sure, But it does say a lot that the NYT closed multiple hard-news bureaus to consistently run emotional life-style features like this.
"...His libido, he said, had been the furnace that gave him energy. ..."
Oh, FFS. The Gay Man Sexual Furnace. My sense is that he is/was some journalista's good friend and they have decided he's special and deserving of a hagiography. I prefer the John Wayne version in The Shootist, a better story. Nothing against this guy, but I'm all done with this sh*t.
The quoted section doesn’t suggest living everyday as if your last. It reads like prolonging your life at the expense of quality of it, and then giving up that strategy only after the quality of life you valued is gone for good.
Not to sound trite, or 'new age-y', but at some point in life you're reminded to notice the things all around you, every day. The little amazing things. You don't actually need to go to a place to find your libido. God...or if you prefer- nature- has put things in place all around you that should make your jaw drop in wonder.
The important thing is to notice them while you're still here, before you're gone. At least one thing every day. And feel gratitude that it was placed in front of you, in front of all of us, for our joy and enrichment. Life is amazing all around us.
I mean it.
And now, back to our regular program.
Yep, hormone therapy to suppress metastasized prostate cancer be like that. So I have read when following PC chat boards. My decision 13 years ago at age 69, after years of regular PSA tests, when some Gleason 7 showed in a biopsy, was to have it out by robotic surgery.
(from the article) "Brian’s cancer was the exception." No. Brian's cancer was *an* exception. Happens far too often. Once the horse gets out of the barn - once the cancer leaves the prostate shell, usually by growing along a nerve - chances are good it will settle in the lower spine - it's off to the races!
Disclaimer. I am not a physician. Do your own research, men.
Tell me again how hormone treatments are reversible.
I would be negligent and not performing my duty as a member of the Althouse community if I didn’t make this comment.
I was friends with Fr. John Schlegel, S.J. He was one of my professors at Creighton. He also had Sunday night Mass in this ratty room in the dorms. Always packed. He earned his doctorate at Oxford where he got to know Bill Clinton. For the longest time I thought he was a Brit until I found out he was from Dubuque.
After teaching, he moved up the administrative ladder and became president of both the University of San Francisco and Creighton. He was a star at raising money and put both schools on solid financial footings. One of his great accomplishments was developing the plan and beginning to work the fundraising for Creighton’s new medical school in Phoenix. Yes, tiny Creighton has two medical schools and more med students than UNMC.
He was the pastor at Marquette when he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Death sentence. There is the Whipple surgery, but low success rate.
So instead of chemo and radiation, he went on about his life and went on a Victory Tour of the US. He had friends all over and he visited them.
In Omaha, there was a big party at an exclusive equestrian center. The former CEOs of ConAgra and Kiewit were there. Packed.
When he left Creighton, he asked me to write something about his term in Omaha for the OWH. “David, you were always a good writer.” Me, “I wish you would have told me that in undergrad!”
After he died, I wrote an essay about him for the OWH. He didn’t ask me, but he knew I would do it. One of the best things I have ever written.
Fr. Schlegel was an inspiration to thousands and he showed us how to live and die. As accomplished as he was, he was a man of God and a Man for Others. He brought the Gospel to many.
One last thing, he totally transformed Creighton’s campus. It was a dump in the 70s. He fixed up the church and had a fantastic St. Ignatius statue installed in the center of the campus. Many other physical improvements. And, of course, he surpassed the Corn in healthcare education with our second campus in AZ.
He’s buried in Omaha with his other Jesuit brothers.
Aggie:” I prefer the John Wayne version in The Shootist, a better story.”
Six shooter, six incher….same-same. CC, JSM
A co-worker and his wife both were treated for cancer at the same time in their late 40's. Very intense and both beat it. In her early 60's her cancer returned. After coming home from a radiation treatment, she announced to her husband, "I'm tired John, I am sorry but I can't do this anymore. I am going to stop treatment, hold my granddaughter after she is delivered, and then die." Her daughter delivered her baby three months later. Grandma held her the day of delivery, and died that night. The woman had dignity and courage. May she rest in peace.
"The quoted section doesn’t suggest living everyday as if your last."
It does if you read it as a cautionary tale.
"Temujin said...
God...or if you prefer- nature- has put things in place all around you that should make your jaw drop in wonder."
I used to take long walks (6 to 10 miles) around my neighborhood while listening to music in my earbuds. But after the earbuds crapped out rather than get new ones I just rawdogged it and would walk and just take in the scenery or think about whatever. I found it more interesting than I would have imagined had someone told me to observe which subgroup of a flock of birds winds up winning the little mini-competition of leading the whole flock to a new tree, or just seeing clouds slowly drift across the sky with each lap around the neighborhood. I think there are real positive benefits of being outside in nature (or at least nature adjacent areas) and being unplugged.
I'm about his age and my libido is a pale shadow of what it once was. I'm not thrilled about it, I miss being more sexually driven, but it's really not that big a deal. Just one of a package of things that has changed as I get older. In some ways, my life is worse, but in many ways, it's better.
A perfect example of why Althouse and the dedicated commentariat are the best site on the internet. For Dave Begley, in 2024 in Orvieto, we ran into a Nebraska group accompanying their parish priest on his last trip to Rome. Of course we both knew overlapping wonderful people.
For Temujin, I see your avatar and stop to read it all.
Life, death, and love.
Thank you Ann
I have prostate cancer. Like its host, as cancers go, it's an underachiever. Still, it's there, and you never know when it's going to get ambitious. Fortunately, I'm blessed with other afflictions that will soon make the issue moot......There's no plus side to death, but some deaths are better than others. I'm not sure if it's open to negotiation, but people always bargain with it........There are some pluses to old age and a diminished libido. If you live in a desert, it's probably better to have a diminished capacity to feel thirst. Anyway, you get a heightened appreciation for the beauty of desert sunsets.....It's kind of cool living in a world where money, sex, status, power, etc don't have all that much attraction.
"Birches said...
I know the article is supposed to be inspiring. I'm sure Althouse posted it because it was inspiring, but I found it profoundly sad and empty. His libido was never going to stay forever. At his age, it probably wasn't all natural anyway. And that was his identity? Sad."
I thought something similar. This feels a bit like a warning against a Hedonistic mindset. And I don't mean Hedonism in the sense of some wild Bacchanalian, though it would include that as well, but rather in the larger sense of viewing life a solely a set of experiences and the goal is to maximize the positive experiences and minimize the negative ones. At some point the math works out where the remaining experiences are more on the negative side of the scale rather than the positive. And what then? I didn't read the whole article since it is behind a paywall, but from the snippet it reads like a man trying to find a greater purpose and feeling a profound sense of lacking from not having one.
I hope he be a pitcher not a catcher, a top, not a bottom. If not, I'm glad his plan failed him. Dude, you got prostate cancer... stick with the one-night stand cuddles? Don't ask someone to poke the bear
So this gay guy was was worried about his 'libido' and not making his soul right for God... figures.
A sad story. I find it uninspiring. His morbid obesity is contributing to his decline. Sex and alcohol seems to be his priorities.
Intermittent fasting and fasting-mimicking diets (FMD) show promise in enhancing the effectiveness of standard treatments for advanced prostate cancer by reducing nutrient availability to tumor cells. Preclinical studies suggest fasting reduces androgen receptor expression, boosts anti-tumor immunity, and improves response to hormonal therapies like enzalutamide.
Key Aspects of Fasting in Advanced Prostate Cancer:
Mechanism of Action: Fasting decreases circulating growth factors, lowers amino acid levels, and reduces global protein synthesis within tumors, which restricts cancer growth.
Enhanced Therapy: Research indicates that intermittent fasting makes prostate cancer cells more sensitive to anti-androgen therapy (e.g., enzalutamide).
Fasting-Mimicking Diet (FMD): A 5-day, plant-based, low-calorie, low-protein, and high-fat diet (e.g., broth, nuts, teas) is used in clinical trials to induce fasting benefits while allowing some nutrient intake.
Clinical Trials: Ongoing studies, such as those at Cedars-Sinai, are evaluating the safety and feasibility of 7-day water-only fasts or monthly 5-day FMD cycles in patients with metastatic prostate cancer.
Safety Warning: These interventions should only be conducted under strict medical supervision to ensure safety and manage nutritional status.
BTW, I’m 95% sure that Fr. Schlegel was gay. Which - in a way - was a blessing. Instead of chasing girls in HS, he joined the Jesuits; a good career path for a closeted gay man. He then channeled his considerable male energy into being a Jesuit and growing USF and Creighton. So, USF and Creighton were his children and he was Father to many students. In undergrad, I always called him Father and he called me David. He’s the only person who I allowed to call me by my formal name.
Without testosterone in his system, Brian lost sexual function and libido, which had been a core of his identity... By midsummer, it was becoming clear that his drug holiday was not going to deliver as he’d hoped. He still had no libido, let alone sexual function
I'm troubled to admit that when I read about this story of a cancer victim named Brian, what immediately popped into my mind was a something of a movie pitch: "Tear-jerker ABC Movie of the Week from the 1970s meets gay porn."
"Brian's Schlong."
The model for death with dignity is acceptance. These forever young types just embarrass themselves with the endless face lifts, injections, escapades all in a futile attempt to convince themselves they are still vital.
They're like the 40 year olds hanging out at a bar in a college town. Pathetic
It's the NYT, so it includes this: "There are promising new drugs in development that may extend his prospects, if he can stay alive long enough for them to become available. But he has watched as the Trump administration upended funding for research, interrupting trials that were already underway."
The 24-hour Orange Man bad station.
I don't miss my overcharged libido one bit. It was like someone who won't stop calling or stopping by unannounced to mess up your plans. It's perfect right now - like a good friend you hook up with to go fishing right about the time you start missing them.
I never cease to be amazed at these people who are surprised by death. One would think it is something unusual. To the contrary, it is inevitable, varying only in timing and mode of arrival. It is not, however, the end of all things, inasmuch as we are actually immortal, just not in this corporeal form. The only thing that matters is where one will spend one's eternity. To make the correct choice and act on it is the important thing. To choose to have more sex is unlikely to be correct. I think Pascal had the right idea.
James K. on the NYT's Trump obsession: Last week, the NYT obituary for a former head of CDC described the man as "the grand old man of public health, a field many feel is under siege from the Trump Administration."
They can't help themselves.
If we are to heed Pascal's advice, which option do we subscribe to? Frankly, heaven according to my very limited understanding of the Christian tradition does not sound fun or interesting. The Muslims' 72 virgins thing sounds better, assuming they are obedient, which that tradition would seem to guarantee in heaven. I have only a very cursory idea of the others, but all of them seem to offer a one-size-fits-all sedentary experience, a lot like spending days having tea with less than exciting company.
Do any offer a more customized future, possibly with aerobatic playtime in hang-gliders that never crash, or maybe waking up every day to a new 60's muscle car with a beautiful freckle-faced blonde saying "lets go have some fun!", or a weekend playing Captain Kirk exploring the universe? You know, boy stuff.
So, what I'm seeing is this article is saying "gay men live their lives between their legs, and there's nothing wrong with that."
Would that be an incorrect reading?
And would the NYT ever write that about cis het white males?
And estrogens? Gender differences? Why now, brown cow.
bagoh20 said...
If we are to heed Pascal's advice, which option do we subscribe to? Frankly, heaven according to my very limited understanding of the Christian tradition does not sound fun or interesting. The Muslims' 72 virgins thing sounds better
1: What's so attractive about virgins? It's heaven, assuming you're not going to get an STD. Do you get off on inflicting pain? If not, then the hymen is gone after the first time, after that they're just sexually inexperienced women. Are you the "great sex trainer"?
2: The Christian Heaven as I understand it is you get to spend time with all the people who've gone before you to Heaven who are willing to spend time with you. Oh, and it being Heaven, I assume they're not going to be lying, catty, or backstabbing. that should be fun for at least a few million years. Certainly a lot longer than time with 72 women who have no thoughts in their heads other than letting you get your little head into them
I’d prefer 72 slightly stout, experienced and imaginative MILFs. And every morning they rise with their boobs and butts un-sagged by just a tiny bit, so they stay the same throughout eternity. CC, JSM
I came to Christian belief rather late in life. At least one member of my church commented, rather dismissively, that I was just afraid of death (and maybe so). In other words, that I was making Pascal's wager. I think some of the commenters here misunderstand Pascal. Michael Sugrue (easy enough to find his YouTube page) commented that Pascal was not advocating that wager as a reason to believe in God. In fact, that would be self-centered and shallow. God might actually have more affection for an intellectually honest agnostic or atheist.
Regarding libido, I wish people would not minimize its loss. I mine went south after menopause and I am very saddened to find that it’s not just the obvious lackawanna that has changed. There is a dimming of overall joie de vivre, of a certain golden fuse that provided a regular glow of enjoyment of everything.
This whole 72 virgin things is based on an error in translation. The text reads that holy martyrs will be rewarded with a 72 year old virgin. Who wouldn't want to be spend the eternal afterlife in the presence of a companion like Rosie O'Donnell or Mother Theresa who would unceasingly inform you of how to be a better person
I had a client once, he was all at once very strange and very charming... He was Catholic and from Chicago. I helped his daughter with her local condo. Anyway - one day we were driving around town running errands for his daughter's project and we talked about any subject. He was hilarious and profound. He told me family secrets and I felt special knowing some of them. Am I a shrink? No - I just listen.
Jumping to religion/spirituality- He said the human mind cannot fathom God or heaven. We cannot fathom a real afterlife and what it might look like.
He said it differently than that. I just recall a moment of clarity.. Like a submission to something unknown, but hopefully filled with joy. It's about all we have.
Somewhat off track: Just now I'm reading Dante's Inferno. There's one Canto where, in Hell, Dante takes the opportunity to inflict further punishment on a miscreant. It's not really anything terrible. He pulls the guy's hair, but the miscreant, nonetheless, cries out in pain. Dante has inflicted further pain on that damned soul.....Here's my observation: If Dante inflicts further punishment isn't he somehow being sacrilegious . Isn't it up to God to inflict just punishment and no more. Is Dante somehow interfering with God's will by bringing further punishment to this tortured soul......Well, the management of Heaven and Hell isn't up to Dante or me, but I can't help thinking that Dante got a lot of things wrong.
Look, I don't make the rules. I'm not fond of virgins. The one time I had one, I was a virgin too, and that was a disaster. I'd rather have 72 varieties of breakfast cereal and a dairy cow. I never got closer to heaven than a bowl of Captain Crunch. I have to avoid it now, but in heaven I hear the sugar has no calories.
"Isn't it up to God to inflict just punishment..."
I think a lot of the problems around here are due to God's management style that depends too much on delegation. As I understand it, he has a unique ability to effectively micromanage, but for some reason leaves a lot in the hands of the far less capable.
"The quoted section doesn’t suggest living everyday as if your last."
The headline doesn't make sense. It's more the reverse: Live your last days — to the extent that you can — like one of the days you lived when you thought you would live forever.
His sexuality was a big part of what his life meant to him and having to endure all the rest of his days without it hurt. He had a way to try to take it back, but sadly it didn't work. He tried though.
Imagine this NYT article if the man had been heterosexual. It just wouldn't happen, would it?
nn Althouse said...
Imagine this NYT article if the man had been heterosexual. It just wouldn't happen, would it?
No, it wouldn't. Unless it was Bill Clinton or Barack Obama
I probably told that story before.
If so - sorry.
I've got a book Queued up in my Kindle called
"Cannon Crossfire"
Not read it yet. it's about a former atheist and lawyer who investigated all the books of the bible and some that have been discarded to find out.
Sugar cereal. bowls of fruity pebbles and whole milk for me. Except - what about all those fake dyes? I don't think heavenly father would approve.
"Imagine this NYT article if the man had been heterosexual. It just wouldn't happen, would it?"
"I don't have many days left" would be a lot of pressure on your lover.
"Live every day as if it were your last" said the grasshopper to the ant.
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